I've Been Trying To Stay Off Of Social Media So I Can Focus On Other Things. So Last Night I Logged Out
I've been trying to stay off of social media so I can focus on other things. So last night I logged out and stayed off. But afterward I just sat in my seat thinking about having a better future. Then I got really sad like, this is my life, why is it so horrible. Why aren’t I fixing it. I always get these feeling out of the blue, but usually its like once a year. But lately it’s been every couple of months.
Then I realized that doom scrolling literally distracts me from my sadness lmao. Cause I am not usually like this, usually I’m on twitter looking for something to make me laugh or yt.
But when I logged off, I sat in silence wondering what to do next. My options were to either go to bed or continue sitting there.
I convinced myself to read Dungeon Meshi. I’m on book 11. It was a hard read honestly. Maybe it was because of the state of my emotion but I was not having a fun time reading it, and I like reading conflict.
But I got to this page in the book where Marcille is expressing how she didn’t have any good memories in the dungeon and if only she had given up, she wouldn’t have to suffer through the bad experiences. But in the next page she says there’s no way I could just give up.
And wow….I felt that lol. I feel like I feel it almost everyday.
I don’t want to get into details about it because I am emotionally drained right now.
I just wanted to remember these pages, and express some love for Dungeon Meshi. Lmao I never thought I would come to love it so much. A series I would have never picked up by myself probably because I am super picky lol. I want to get all the books so I can reread it and relish all the amazing line work and compositions.
This part felt so real. I can feel the love and care Marcille has for her comrades. That shes drops all her resolve and standards to protect her friends and they do the same for her. Seeing the Dungeon Meshi crew take care of each other makes me so jealous sometimes but it’s also so sweet. I can feel the love, it oozes.
More Posts from Serges-meadows and Others
Life seems to be ‘happening’ for everyone else and Miffy’s been held back and left behind.
if you want to create but feel intimidated and overwhelmed, you're forgetting something: good art doesn't exist. all art is terrible. every story and song and movie and picture is worse than the one before it and all artists should be in prisom
lmao this was from April it's my little haul from Sakura festival, I bought a lot of stuff from small business and no figures, which was my goal that day. I love being able to buy anime merch from artist, it makes me feel like I'm getting a special treasure(or a piece of a flower) lmao. I thought it was probably too late to post this, but since Dimitri has resurfaced on my twitter, I thought why not lol.
I really wanted this Halloween to be a good one. But it wasn't lol, I just had to ride it out I guess. Me and my kyodai were going through the notion that life doesn't always revolve around oneself. We have been talking bout this because a lot of r family members think that it 100% does revolve around them.
And so the notion had been stuck in my head for a couple of days. But on Halloween, it really hit me hard , that life does not always revolve around me. But it felt worst than that, like the world also hated me lmao, I felt so helpless, I didn't know what to do. Just think of the Linkin park song, I got so far and it doesn't even matter lmao.
I'm not trying to say I needed this night to be about me, cause I know the world isn't circling me. I just felt attacked even thought I was trying to make this person feel better. and I know it wasn't their fault, they just wanted to have a fun night.
At the end of the day I wished I had stayed home lmao. But you know bad days happen lol, it's not the end of the world.
I dusted and filled up my bookshelf. I never thought I'd fill it lmao, but here we are. This year I really want to read all my books or a good majority of them lol. I need to reread D-Gray man I miss it so much, it's been to long. In 2024 I think I only read 2ha book 3 and the beginning of book 4, and it took me the whole year to read book 3 lmao. So much stuff just got in the way sob. I also read all of OPM and SD. But I have so many series on my shelf that I have never touched 😫.
When I was younger I use to read all of gravitation and then reread it all over again. I use to know that series like the back of my hand. I want to go back to that and finish series and read them all over again. recently after dinner I sit on the floor with all my plushies and a cup of tea and read. it keeps me off the internet and clears my mind it's so refreshing. I'm getting a little addicted to it lol.
Reading is gonna be one of my major goals this year, idk if I'll keep record of it but maybe I should lol.
Today the spongebob episode of Pearl’s sweet sixteen came on, and it reminded me of the time it came on, on my 18th birthday and it made me happy lol
