The Perfect Crime Will Never Be Discovered.

Birthday AUs

My friends booked a nice restaurant for my birthday party, but you booked it for your party as well. I guess we have to celebrate our birthdays together now.

It’s my birthday and I want to spend a quiet day at home, I just hope no one’s planning a surprise party.

There is a pony in my front yard with a pink bow around its head and no, this is NOT the best birthday present ever!

We both meet at the bar at a birthday party but we don’t even know who’s birthday it is. I think it’s yours, you think it’s mine.

We were supposed to bring the cake for our mutual friend’s birthday party but we got in a fight over who should carry it to the car and now the cake is on the floor and HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

You want me to guess the present you got me and give me ridiculous little clues that make me kinda afraid to even open it,

My birthday party is in full swing but it’s too much for me right now, so I grab a bottle of wine and go up to the rooftop. That’s where you find me eventually.

After we spent some time at a club to celebrate my birthday my friends are pretty drunk and ask random people on the street to sing for me. You really can’t sing, but maybe I’m drunk too because it sounds perfect to me.

Today’s my birthday, so I decided to post some birthday prompts. Hope you like them. 🎇

You can find more prompts at my sideblog: creativepromptsforwriting

i'm thoroughly convinced that i would feel a millionth time sexier if i wore a dagger straped to my thigh all the time

Everything was peaceful until the corgis took over.

Thor Ragnarok is really about how nothing brings together two siblings like ganging up on the third one

All children are born with qualities based off their zodiac. Parents will celebrate the birth of a Virgo daughter, forever beautiful and pure, or the birth a brave, confident Leo. Other parents lament at their Aquarius children, forever cursed to carry around a bucket of water. Write about a couple anticipating their first child.

do I feel bad for the trauma and stress that bb Marinette is going to go through because it'll be so bad and relatable? yes.

am I also kinda bitter because I feel like they will sideline and underdevelop and just mistreat our sunshine boi with sh*tty writing? HELL YES.

(i mean he showed up a total 2 or 3 times in the whole freaking trailer? isn't he supposed to be the co-protagonist? idk)

(not that I don't like Marinette, I do, but I miss adrien)

ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID????? Kindest regards, 

“You- you were supposed to stop me.” The villain sobbed as they cradled the lifeless, limp body of the hero, “You were meant to save the day! You could’ve stopped me. So easily.”

“So why? Why am I here? Why am I breathing? ” The villain choked as tears started to stream down their cheeks like waterfalls.

“Please,” the villain’s voice trembled, “please wake up. ”

Christmas Prompts

• Person A trying to set up the tree for Christmas but Person B has to pick Person A up for them to put ornaments on the tree because they’re so short.

• Person A getting frustrated when wrapping presents while Person B being able to quickly wrap beautiful presents and A being absolutely amazed and jealous.

• Person A being sad when they weren’t able to buy a real tree to decorate for Christmas so Person B buys a little bonsai tree for them to decorate, even though it’s only a foot tall.

• Person A and B decorating their house/apartment together and when Person A goes to another room to grab some more ornaments they hear Person B yell. When they rush back into the room they see Person B has somehow tangled themself into the Christmas lights and fell over.

• Person A waking up on Christmas morning and being confused to find only one small box under the tree. Person B acts like everything is normal and convinces Person A to open it and when they open it they just see a note and an engagement ring.

my goal in life is to inspire the same level of fear in a man as beth harmon instills barely after introducing herself to a chess player:

“beth harmon”

“…shit.”