Secretred - Redundercover's Blog

growing up autistic / growing up gaslit

I.

this is the first lesson you learn: you are always wrong.

there is no electric hum buzzing through the air. there is no stinging bite to the sweetness of the mango. there is no bitter metallic tang to the water.

there is no cruelty in their laughter, no ambiguity in the instructions, no reason to be upset. there is no bitter aftertaste to your sweet tea, nothing scratchy about your blanket.

the lamps glow steadily. they do not falter.

II.

this is the second lesson you learn: you are never right.

you are childish, gullible, overly prone to tears. you are pedantic, combative, deliberately obtuse. you are lazy, unreliable, never on time.

you’re always making up excuses, rudely interrupting, stepping on people’s shoes. you’re always trying to get attention, never thinking about anyone else, selfish through and through.

it’s you that’s the problem. the lamps are fine.

III.

this is the third lesson you learn: you must always give in.

mother knows best. father knows best. doctor knows best. teacher knows best. this is the proper path. do not go astray.

listen to your elders, respect your betters, accept what’s given to you as your due. bow to the wisdom of experience, the education of the professional, the clarity of an external point of view.

what do you know about lamps, anyway?

Trying to eat the forbidden fruit

Forever in pursuit of the powerful delivery of "all yours" in the chorus of kate bushes babooshka

more people would exercise if this culture didn't make it absolute hell

OH MY GOD

Why does he need a- … oh

why do i want to die after every single social interaction i have

i need more posts in this genre

[ID 1: a screenshot of a post from yuttikkele

"hey gamers l've started watching star trek does anyone else see the romantic tension between captain kirk and mr. spock"

end ID 1]

[ID 2: a screenshot of a post from modernchemical

"watching death note with my family and after the college entrance episode my mom asked offhandedly if anyone had ever pictured L and light as a couple before. it felt like one single white dove had landed on a crystalline lake in a beautiful pure clearing. no i don't think anyone's ever thought of that before"

end ID 2]