Bite Me, Bitch

Lord help my D&D crew

So I joined a bit late to my campaign but it made perfect development!

Galen (My D&D OC) is childhood friends with Estel and he is also actively hitting on Sylve! What else do you expect from a Neutral Chaotic Elven Bard?

OH YEAH!

Galen and the Crew (Bro, Estel, Sylve, and Pembis) go to a bar after getting some interesting items from an all violet store. And Galen sees these people giving him a side eye. Me: Permission to growl at them? DM: I’m sorry? Me: Permission to growl at them. DM: Sure why not, do an intimidation roll. Me: I got rolled a 1... DM: You meow at them.

Everyone is cackling. Anyways, fast forwarding after getting information~

Galen sees the HOT bartender, Lars! Lars wants nothing to do with him. 

HOWEVER

Because Galen is a bard and Sylve wants this man to fuck off, Sylve sets some mood lighting for Galen to serenade Lars to. BUT my bitchass rolls another 1 in Charsima and Lars turned around...and said GTFO. Galen was dragged out by Sylve begging for a second chance.

There may be a second chance...

And a fanfiction.

💸🍃✨💸🍃✨💸🍃✨💸🍃✨💸🍃✨💸

An emoji spell to easily manifest prosperity into one’s life:

“I trust in the Universe and the wealth it has in store for me. Money falls freely into to my hands like leaves from a lush, green tree.”

💸🍃✨💸🍃✨💸🍃✨💸🍃✨💸🍃✨💸

💛 to charge, reblog to cast.

Just out of curiosity, how would you conjure me?

Alright. I have a whole plan.

On a blank wall, put four pictures.

Alcina Smiling Alcina Angry Alcina Neutral Alcina Dragon Form

Doesn't matter what order or how it's formatted.

Light three candles.

One Black, One Red, and One White.

Turn off the lights and say your name but with Dimitresu as your last name 😂

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

What kind of person do u see Mother Miranda as?

I see Mother Miranda as just a tad more different than she is canonly and as everyone else sees her.

Mother Miranda has a last name but prefers for little to no one to know it due to what happened in her past.

Her last name is Sokolov, which means bird of prey. It's also her family name.

Mother Miranda loves her children.

All of them.

Not equally but she loves all of them.

She will stop at nothing to resurrect her daughter.

She dislikes and will kill people she doesn't care for. She will not bat an eyelash.

Mother Miranda is multilingual

She took the time to learn the languages her children know

She does get on Heisenberg for only know English

She will kick the asses of all of the Dimitrescu daughters if they EVER call her Babushka (Daniela has done it before)

Mother Miranda is ruthless in the bedroom

Depending on her relationship with someone and how much she like them determines how she is in the bedroom with them

If she loves you, she'll give you everything you'd ever dream of in the bedroom

And if you get lucky, you may even taste her.

If you're just a one time thing, you're receiving

You will be taking until you can't take anymore and pass out

She won't let you touch her

Grip onto the sheets if you have to but do not touch her

And it is NEVER in her own bedroom

Her bedroom is her sacred space for the people she loves

She doesn't kiss unless she REALLY loves you

Punishments will be given if you attempt to get more than she offers

She DESPISES being called Mommy in the bedroom

She prefers not to be called any titles related to royalty

If you call her goddess and you are just doing it to flirt she'll lift an eyebrow before punishing you for having the nerve to flirt with her

But if you do it and she adores you, it will drive her crazy

Source

That's all I have for now, but I hope that answered your question!

*Loud screaming from the other room*

Secret

CW: Secrets, Evil, First Person

I've been keeping things the order of the Lunar Eclipse. Something I wouldn't normally do. I went out in the dead of night and didn't return until the sun rose. Sometimes...later. You'd think I'd be looking for suitors all over town...charming mystical beings in taverns over ale.

But I was with her...

A rogue barbarian. She was a half-orc with a charming smile and fresh scars. I didn't learn her name until the third night of our encounter. I was on my way to an inn with my order when I caught her eye, and she gave me a quick wink before vanishing into the shadows.

I would meet with her late at night. "Hello, my beloved. Would you like to join me for a pint?" She'd reappear in the same area where I'd last seen her. The woman's face was covered with fresh scarring. "Nope. You're going directly to the inn where my order and I are staying. You're bleeding and hurt." She merely sighs and rolls her eyes. I could see she was stubborn.

"I will let you tend to me on one condition." "What's that?" "You come the inn where my order is lodging. I prefer to be in the presence of people I know." "Touché."

We carry on a light discussion as we go. Introductions. I've now learned her name...Diavol. She said that it meant "devil" in a foreign tongue. "I had no idea the devil was so attractive." She softly takes my hand in hers. "I had no idea witches didn't fly around on broomsticks." My eyes widen. I hadn't yet introduced myself to her. In some way, she already knew. "Salem." She smirks. "My sources were correct. You're a chaotic neutral, yeah?"

I nod, still taken aback. She carries on as if she hadn't just said she had sources on me. I understood I was dealing with Lawful Evil after analyzing the half-orc. I wasn't afraid... I was enchanted. She had no ill will toward me. I was aware of it. Not from a secret spell I cast. She just lacks social skills.

"Welcome to the Cursed Hat inn, draga."

When we entered the inn, I was met with an unusual scene. "Fira?!" The fire genasi glanced at me with alarm. "What are you doing here?" Still concerned, I point to her. "What are you doing here?" Fira looks across to the elf beside her before returning my gaze. "It's none of your business." I feel the same way. Before speaking, there is a deafening quiet. "I won't tell Hypnos if you don't tell Hypnos."

"Deal." "Cool...know where the medical supplies are?" "Bathroom." "Thank you. Come on, Diavol."

It takes me a while to find the restroom, but I end up finding it. "Sit." I watch her as she sits on the sink's rim. "No, not there. I'm shorter than you." She then proceeds to sit on the toilet's closed lid. "I appreciate that." I clean her cuts and check for infection. "I can't get to an extremely tiny cut-" Diavol rolls her eyes before grabbing my hips and dragging me forward to straddle her thighs.

I was far too distracted at this point to tend to the cut. As I tried to bandage her forehead, I could feel her warm breath on my neck. Her hands find their way to my thighs. When I'm done treating her minor injuries, we are sitting in quiet, her gorgeous red eyes glittering as she looks at my lips. I look her in the eyes before softly taking her lips in mine. Her cheeks are framed by my hands. She smirks as I pull away.

"If this is you asking me on a date...sure."

I live in her CASTLE dude. You should see the amount of maidens in and out. She is not straight.

I personally talked to Alcina and she said she don’t do that straight shit y’all, sorry to be a bearer of bad news

:dying noises: This is so cute 🥺

Just a little Holiday fluff I wrote for our favorite Sorceress! Happy Holigays, folks 😊♥️ 

****

My breath catches in my throat as soon as I enter the living room. Helena’s silhouette brilliantly outlined by the soft glow of  the fireplace. The lean muscles in her arms flexing ever so slightly as she meticulously places ornaments upon our first Christmas tree. My heart warms at the sight of it, and I can’t help the fond smile that rises to my lips. Long strips of moonlit hair cascading over her focused eyes with each ornament that goes up. A master at everything she does, I had never seen a Christmas tree look more perfect. It was almost as perfect as her.

“Babe?” I ask her softly, causing her bright blue eyes to catch mine sharply.

“Yes, my love?”

“Here, I brought you something to try.” I reply as I hand her a steaming mug with Santa’s face on the side of it.

“And what is this called?” She raises the mug to her delicate nose, taking in the aroma before indulging herself in a long sip - her eyes widening as the taste fully hits her tongue.

“First tell me.. do you like it?” I ask teasingly.

“I enjoy it very much, yes.” She says before eagerly taking another sip.

“This is my Grandmother’s special hot chocolate.” I say with a smile. “The secret is adding just a little bit of peppermint to it.”

“It’s quite lovely. Was your Grandmother an alchemist?” She asks as she finishes the contents of her drink.

“Nope. She just loved chocolate.” I reply with a laugh as I join Helena by the tree - wrapping one arm around her waist as I pulled her closer. A soft kiss to her cheek and all I can smell is chocolate dipped Helena with a splash of peppermint.

“You smell incredible.” I tell her, leaning in for another kiss.

“Oh? Do I, now?” She gives me a little smirk before placing a warm, lingering kiss to my lips.

“Mmh.. Yes, you do.” I say, kissing her back. “And you’re a vision by fire light, too, might I add.”

This time she blushes, slightly averting her eyes as she attempts to turn her focus back to the ornaments.

“You flatter me, my love.” She says softly.

“Let me tell you a little secret, babe.” I say as I lean in a little closer to her ear. “It’s not flattery if it’s true.”

This time she shudders, and I know my plan to fluster her is working. Her dark blue eyes shifting back to mine and she softly bites her bottom lip before giving me another smirk.

“You know… my love. If you keep this up, we’ll never finish this lovely tree of ours.”

“Sounds like a fair trade to me.” I say, kissing her again.

She slowly drops the ornament in her hand to the ground, firmly wrapping her arms around my waist as she pulls me in for a heated kiss. The sweet smell of chocolate and peppermint still on her lips as I drink her in, indulging in as much of her as I can. The glow of the fire place dancing playfully off her hair like it was caught helplessly in a stream of moonlight. My heart, warm, as the thought of spending my first Christmas with the love of my life spilled out into me. Helena was safe, loved, never to broken by the Witch Queen again - her first Christmas Eve spent cozily by the firelight - as our tongues wrote out exactly how we felt, with the sounds of Christmas filling the air.

****

Movie Recommendation

Hello my lovelies I have a movie for my sapphics to watch~

This is now my favourite movie! And I mean favourite.

This movie is called Bound! You want lesbian? We got lesbian! You want mafia? Sure we got it! Murder? Hell yeah! You want cishet white man probably mentally unstable who won’t stop getting on everyone’s nerves? Yep! We got that too! 

I’ll give you a run down! Best way I can!

^ This is Corky Your fix-it dyke. Definitely a powertool lesbian. Sleeps around...Acts a LOT like Shane McCutcheon

^ This is Violet She’s lesbian. That’s all I can really say. She’s probably a Pisces 🤷

^ And this is them trapped in shibari together

SO

Corky finds herself fucking Violet. Who ends up having a boyfriend, as a lesbian. (I believe Violet is lesbian. My gaydar was beeping very fuckin loud.) The boyfriend is the cishet no one likes. Boyfriend has ties with the mafia. Cishet boytoy gets 2 mil. The Lesbians™ make a plan to take that 2 mil and run off with it. It goes without a hitch! Unless...