I Am Doomed By The Narrative. Ignore That I Am Also The Author Of The Narrative

To the child that jokingly tried to tell the group chat I'm gay, not realizing I've already announced it many times:

I'll fucking fight you bro, I've lost one too many chances to puch a homophobe and don't think being a kid is going to protect you

Guys it's just merch

Danny watched with a smile hidden behind his mug of hot cocoa his new family. Originally he was only going to mess with them a little, since he wanted to keep his civilian live he gained with them but at the same time wanted to kind of provoke them to tell him about their night time jobs on their own.

Not like he could just flat out tell them he knew about their vigilantes lifes and that would be embarrassing to explain.

It's not every day that Danny's powers fluked on him, but with the stress of the past months, it happened. Right at a moment, he had to be clumsy and trip over his own feet and accidentally phased through a grandfather's clock, finding a hidden passage. Well at least he learned that way that Batman hadn't placed him with some other rich fruitloop that wasn't his godfather but well... with Batman himself and his family out of mask.

Yeah no, he did not want to explain that and hoped they would do that themselves. But apparently, they took Danny's statement of wanting a normal life a bit too serious.

Which brought him back to his current entertainment in the form of messing with his siblings.

"I don't get what the problem is guys. It's just merch." He chuckled slightly at the face Damian was making. While Jason chose to kick Tim under the table.

"Soooo how much merch on Red Robin do you have with this shirt now?" Dick asked instead with a bright smile, Danny still hadn't figured out how to tell what emotion he hid behind them sometimes.

"I think this is my third shirt of him." Danny mused, placing his cup back on the table and tapping his lip in a thinking motion. "Though I was going to pick up a couple of custom-made jackets of Red Hood and a Nightwing plush later today."

He acted like he did not hear the triumph like hiss of 'yes' from Jason as well as the very upset huff of Damian.

He just grinned at the amusement about how they apparently were competing over how much merch he owned of each of them.

When he found a Robin figure and several Robin pins mysteriously placed on his desk the next morning, he broke out laughing. Yet still just to mess with them gushed about his newly gotten merch to his family while sharing a knowing look with Alfred who knew he was just messing with them.

If there was a surprising amount of Batman merch, suddenly mixed into what he already owned the following week without his knowledge. Well, he wasn't going to complain about free stuff.

But he still would get a good laugh out of their reactions on the day he decided to full on dawn every piece of Batman merge instead of theirs.

Imagine explaining braces to an alien.

Alien: this "lemonade" smells like it'll melt my skin. Will this melt my skin?

Human: probably not. Though it did dissolve the glue on one of my braces when I was a kid.

Alien: for me to understand how fully horrified I should be right now I need to know what "braces" are.

Human: oh, people that have the money for it get a bunch of metal put in their mouth to move their teeth into a perfect row. It's a very painful process that usually takes years.

Alien: metal??? On your face bones??? And it hurts?? Doesn't this impede your ability to eat??

Human: well yeah there are things you can't eat when you have them. And some foods you just stop eating because it gets stuck in your braces and it's really gross to get it all out. I still don't eat much bread. Certain foods can break the braces, so you weren't supposed to eat those

Alien: EATING could break the painful metal in your mouth???? WHAT KIND OF FOOD DO YOU PEOPLE EAT???

Human: well lemonade just dissolves the glue

Alien: WHAT?!!! And you want me to DRINK this?? No!! Now I know what people mean when they say you can never understand deathworlders. You people are nuts! I am never eating your substance dissolving, metal breaking food. Fuck that.

Human: alright, I'll drink yours *chugs the lemonade, much to the alien's fascinated horror*

Alien, whispering to themself: deathworlders are insane

this is long but i think it's a good read about the kind of weird shit even "normal" christianity does to women lol

my own addition is one time during our youth drama practice a boy could see a girl's lower back peeking out during a movement so he told the pastor about it, who then made an example of both of them by bringing them to the front of the group to discuss it at the next rehearsal. we applauded the guy for being Very Strong And Brave! while the girl in question stood there on display and didn't say anything while a middle aged man and a teenage boy discussed her body with the youth group for ten minutes.

also because this is a thread about women and people are ghouls: i'm trans, exclusionists go make your own repost. everyone else feel free to add your own weird christian purity stories lmao

Avoiding Chub Rub this Summer

Hey so if you're a person whose thighs touch when you walk and you want to wear skirts, shorts, or swimsuits this summer without chub rub this is the quick guide from a fat person who enjoys wearing skirts.

For those who don't know, Chub Rub is a painful burn that’s caused by friction, which generates when bare thighs rub together during walking and running and is exacerbated by heat and sweat.

There are two main ways to avoid Chub Rub, broadly speaking.

The first one is:

Physical Barriers work by keeping your thighs covered in fabric so they don't touch and chafe.

Bike Shorts -Pro: Comfortable, stretchy, has pockets. Perfect if your skirt is longer than your shorts and not sheer. Super good in the winter. -Cons: Hot, almost never come in neutral or skin tones, so they’ll show up under anything sheer.

Bandelettes- Thigh bands that stay in place with a silicone strip. They can be cute, like garter belts, or simple. -Pros: Comfortable. Can be sexy, More discreet than shorts, Excellent choice if you want an exposed midriff. They stay in place all day. Easier bathroom access then shapewear or bike shorts. -Cons: No pockets. May not be wide enough to be effective for extra good thighs. Silicone bands that hold them in place can pull hairs and be painful.

Shapewear -Pros: Almost always come in skin tones. Shape the booty, slide really well. Cooler than bike shorts. -Cons: Extra difficult bathroom access, often high waisted and long so they don’t work well with short skirts. rarely have pockets.

The big con to this category is that you're limited in how short your skirt can be since for the shorts and bandelettes to work they need to be long enough to cover all parts of your thighs that touch when you walk. Depending on the shape of your legs, thighs, and your gait that could mean your shorts are pretty long. For me, I'd need my shorts to be almost knee length to be effective.

Knee length shorts under mini skirts aren't for me. Which is where the second category comes in!

The title says it all. These are various kinds of gels and stuff that you apply directly to your thighs to keep they sliding smoothly past one another without chafing.

The big pro of this category is that all the products are Invisible so they work with every fit, no matter the size of the thighs! They’re even useful when wearing swim suits. Just remember to reapply after you get out of the water. The cons are that some formulas can cause breakouts, and most will need to be reapplied several times throughout the day so you’ll have to carry it around with you. None of these specific brands gave me breakouts, but my skin is not your skin.

There are other anti chafing gels and creams and sticks out there, but these are ones I've tried and like very much.

Monistat anti chafing gel Lasts: 3-5 hours Invisible, cooling, feels great on the skin. Works even through high heat and sweat. I’m sensitive to textures and the powder-like feel of this stuff when it’s dry is amazing. I'm not sure if it's "waterproof" but I sweat in my thigh area a lot and this stuff really sticks it out like a dream. It lasts far longer then I do between bathroom breaks so I just reapply it each time I use the bathroom and let it dry on my thighs for a minute.

Megababe Thigh Rescue Lotion Anti-Chafe Stick Lasts: 3 hours The deodorant stick makes application easy and fast, It goes on smooth and feels fine! Comes in a mini version that makes it easy to keep on your person and reapply through the day. The big con is that this stuff melts kind easy on hot days. which makes a mess in your bag or pocket. It doesn’t do great with sweat and will need to be reapplied more often. It's unscented.

Skin Slick spray Lasts: 4-5 hours. This comes in an aerosol can so it’s not an option if you’re flying. Outside of that, it’s great. Feels nice and keeps your thighs cool. Goes on fast and easy, works well even when you’re sweating because it’s designed for sports. The best option for beach days.

To finish this post off here are some commonly suggested chub rub hacks i don't recommend and why. Deodorant- ineffective and if you use the wrong kind, it can actually make it worse. Baby Powder: Okay so this a mixed bag. Over all, it does work pretty well for a short time. And who can deny that there isn't much that feels better then a healthy sprinkle of baby powder down your shorts on a sweaty day. It soaks up your sweat and makes you feel cool and dry. The problem is that it doesn't work for very long before needing to be reapplied, by which time the previously applied powder is clumping. Not to mention it leaves white powder all over the place. I'll be honest, I often put this stuff in my bag when I'm going to be outside all day in the hot sun. At pride, summer festivals, hikes, camping, fairs, I always have it with me just in case. But I have to be a little desperate to bust it out because it makes such a mess and smells so strongly. It's a last resort.

The Chub Rub Patch- This is the absolute worst thing I've ever tried for chub rub. It's essentially a large band aid with no pad that you stick on your inner thighs. Throughout the day, the edges of these patches kept getting caught on one another and starting to peel and stick to my other thighs which gave me worse chub rub then if i had used nothing. I thought maybe I applied them wrong, so I tried them again the next day, this time taking care to make sure my thighs were clean and dry before applying. Same thing happened. And they hurt to take off. Like a band aid. They're single use, and pretty expensive. They come in one size, so they won't work for a lot of bigger thighs. These suck. They're ugly as fuck too. Do not use these things.

Body/baby oil- This is a very effective way to fry up your thighs. After a day of walking around you're thighs will look just like fried chicken.

Body Lotion- a move i've only ever seen attempted out of real desperation. This is a bad idea. The lotion rubs in so fast that you won't get ten steps before needing more. If you're chub rub is bad enough that you're trying this hack, it's time to find a pharmacy and get some Monistat anti chafing gel. I once saw a woman at a pride tie two trash bags around her thighs and it worked better then lotion.

Happy Summer Everyone! And don't forget sunscreen! Especially if you have dark skin because dark skinned people are significantly more likely to die of skin cancer in the USA and Europe then light skinned people. Even if you don't think you'll burn that day, you're still being irradiated by the sun!

an underrated detail in pride and prejudice is that elizabeth bennett was home alone on the day darcy proposed because she had a headache. can you imagine. this was in the pre-painkillers era. you're at home with a headache and then this asshole walks into the room and tells you he loves you and wants to marry you even though he hates your whole family and you're beneath him. imagine having to deal with that while also having a headache. she doesn't even have ibuprofen

new age discourse: do years spent in the time loop count towards your age if you don't age physically

my friend told me that her boyfriend got her a super cool rock while they were on vacation together and you would not BELIEVE my disappointment when i realized she was talking about her engagement ring

my dnd party has run into an npc who may or may not be evil and may or may not decide to betray us and the dm was in chat today like “just so everyone knows…not addressing this comment at anyone in particular…his favorite colors are red and black…wink” so now i’m desperately trying to get a real physical friendship bracelet done before session tomorrow in the vain hope that i can somehow stop this npc from trying to do a murder on my party