got our car back after $3600 worth of work, now all we can do is hope it’s fixed and continues to drive.
went with my mom to a follow-up emergency appointment about the awful wound that developed after the treatment on her arm, and they think the reason it reacted so badly and painfully is because she has cancer. apparently the cryotherapy tends to anger/activate those cells and bring them to the surface. they did a biopsy, we’ll know for sure in a couple of weeks and how to proceed with treatment from there. my dad’s been having a rough time with his lately, so praying anything with my mom won’t be too aggressive, but it’s impossible to know yet.
every day i have to see horrific things and people being unmasked ghouls with unleashed hatred on here and it is a terrible place. so. my heart is broken.
this, seemingly like all my other blogs (RIP 💀) was a bit of a failed experiment, i am taking a break for the foreseeable future. it could be short of long. tbh it seems extremely pointless to keep going or even try being here, and at the present moment, i cannot imagine feeling anything but despair if i am on here during the holiday season, and i simply would rather not do that. i need to have the energy to focus on my mom and help her in any way feasible, and my health has been taking extreme turns for the worse all year, i am more physically fragile than i have been in quite a while. the last three weeks have been the most unbearable i have ever spent online and living in this state is unsustainable. idk when/if i will feel like coming back more regularly, considering the atmosphere. my overall engagement and interaction will probably not be the same, it's just what it is. please remember that i tried. i tried so much harder than you realize. take care 💙
tbh i don’t think people who aren’t active in jewish spaces have any comprehension of the damage being done and the sheer amount of hate speech/crimes and blood libel and ancient conspiracy theories being remixed and perpetuated boldly across the internet and the world, and how truly terrifying it is. either you aren’t seeing it or you don’t get it, or you tacitly agree with it. it doesn’t have to come from jewish voices, though i have countless of them as sources, have seen so much anguish and fear and people trying to educate others and speak up for innocent life on both sides for the past three weeks, and been met with nothing but silence or hatred, only receiving support from other jews, who also don’t want any of this suffering or death. but let’s take yashar ali, who is nothing but fair and measured and intelligent in his coverage, sharing things like:
it’s demented how far this has gone, that anyone reporting on anything, no matter how balanced, no matter how outspoken for all affected, will be attacked with this rhetoric, that anyone offering empathy after a slaughter is immediately torn to shreds, that schools are being tagged with nazi graffiti and synagogues are being firebombed, that jewish students on college campuses are being told to hide during protests, that people are being told not to wear anything identifiable of their jewishness because it’s dangerous, that outright “cleanse the world of jews” posters are being displayed, the incidents are endless (the UK estimated antisemitism up by 1350% there, what does that even mean? how do you even calculate it). and people directly affected by this weren’t even given the chance to grieve because it went to immediate jubilation and justification and apologism for a genocidal terrorist organization (it’s in their charter, it’s not a secret) that steals billions from their own people and rips out their pipes and intentionally imbeds themselves amongst them to cause maximum harm and subjugates and oppresses and jails and kills anyone who would stand in their way. there was no time to mourn because people were immediately forced to defend themselves and their right to exist as humans. the rampant ignorance and ignoring of things here (do you know about the peace talks with saudi arabia preceding this? do you know about the oppressive regime in iran, that is actively hurting their own people, training and funding this? do you understand how it’s connected to russia and thus do you care about ukraine?). by all means, speak up for human rights, speak up for oppressed people who deserve their autonomy and self-determination and do not deserve to die in a terrible war, but this? this is not doing that. and if you cannot and will not condemn hamas, if you haven’t even had a moment of sympathy for the innocent civilians who suffered their torture and brutality, because you don’t like the country where they, from elderly Holocaust survivors to infants, were killed, if you quantify innocent deaths with, “yes, but-,” i will never trust you again.
and yes i am saying this here, on the tiny blog. to 30 people, because i am not safe to say it to nearly 2000 on the other one. i am happy to help educate you or send you sources or histories or definitions or anything to clarify all this, but if i am not safe saying this here, and you have a problem with how hurt and scared and outraged people are, then i know fundamentally you are not a friend and will never be an ally when it’s needed.
#though if you aren't willing to condemn violence against Israeli civilians #maybe ask yourself why not? #and don't give me that “antizionist not antisemitic” bullshit #hating the actions of the Israeli government is one thing #but if you hate every civilian of the country where half the world's Jews live #then guess what? #You hate the Jews
something that's fucked me up over the last three weeks is the constant barrage of non palestinian goyim saying "why should we have to condemn hamas???????? why do we have to focus on jews or israelis when palestinians are dying??????????" and i know ppl who have already decided i'm guilty by virtue of being a jew won't give a shit, but i'm hoping people who still have a bit of humanity left in them will.
i've gotten so many anons chiding me and demanding to know why they should give a shit about the people killed by hamas (not all of whom were jewish or even israeli), and the answer i keep wanting to give is that. honestly you don't fucking have to. quite honestly, i wouldn't have cared if no one talked about it. i would be hurt to see people didn't see the loss of (assumed to be jewish) life as a tragedy, but i would have much preferred silence to the utterly horrific things i have had to see over the past three weeks.
bc that's the thing. we as jews are so fucking jaded when it comes to gentile reactions to violence against us. we're used to you saying it doesn't matter or even that we deserved it. gentile apathy has so thoroughly broken us that we consider it a win when y'all don't actively celebrate instances of antisemitism. and you had the opportunity to disrupt that pattern, to either take a single moment to offer condolences for the loss of so many lives (not all of whom were jewish or even israeli) or just simply back off and give us space to grieve.
but instead, i witnessed people, who just over a month ago had been wishing their jewish followers a happy rosh hashanah, post or repost some of the most appalling displays of antisemitism i have seen since may of 2021. i have watched you post about the "zionist media" ("jews control the media"), tell jewish israelis to just use their dual citizenship to go back to their third beach house on long island ("all jews are rich"), that jews israelis are bloodthirsty monsters who get pleasure from killing children (modern day blood libel), that jews are the "new nazis" (holocaust inversion), that jews in the diaspora are responsible for the actions of the israeli government (dual loyalty), and that every single israeli should die (literally genocide???????????)
i witnessed people who call themselves antizionist gleefully become tools of political zionism, bolstering the claims that the diaspora is not safe for us and therefore we must support israel when the countries we currently live in turn on us like they have without fail for the last 2000 years. and when i point this out, instead of taking this to heart, people double down. they insist if i'm pointing this out it must mean i believe it.
you all had the opportunity to do nothing, to prioritize the safety and liberation of palestinians over your own hatred of jews, and yet you still chose antisemitism. and i will never forgive you for it.
Sweetness! Just wanted this christen this blog with a lil bit of love. You’re wonderful and kind and I’m sending you a big hug tonight xo 🩵
乁[ ° ᴥ ° ]ㄏ
hi honey!!! thank you so much for your kindness, that is the very best blessing to start this blog with. you are lovely and a delight, and i'm really happy to have you here with me. hugging you and sending love back 😘💗💗💗🧸
Shiri. Ariel. Kfir.
your spirits will be held in our hearts, honored in art, in words, in blessed memory, and in the history of the Jewish people. you will be in every orange sunset. we will never forget you.
artists’ sources: 1, 2, 3, 4
🧡🧡🧡
Motherfuckers will say "Autumn is my COMFORT TIME it's the best season" and then proceed to have the worst month of October of their whole entire lives
i would like to introduce you all to my adorable and tiny boyfriend, viktor
had to go to the store and did not get this but did i look at it? yes
Kazuyuki Futagawa “Memory -thoughts-“ 2021 Panel, Paper and Mineral pigments 40.9 × 31.8cm.
if I cannot fly, let me sing. ♡if I wasn't tough, I wouldn't be here.if I wasn't gentle, I wouldn't deserve to be here.♡if not to hunger for the meaning of it all, then tell me what a soul is for?♡if my immortal soul is lost to me, something yet remains. I remain. ♡ a passionate, fragmentary girl; she stood in desperate music wound; voice of a bird, heart like a house; the ghost at the end of the song.♡ Jessica Lynn 🕊❀ paypal ❀
213 posts