🧡🎃⭐️💛🦇🍁

playin catch

The lady in white. gif by Amber Maitrejean

#i keep thinking about the essay i read by ilan benjamin. daniel pearl's cousin #who has lived so much more life and seen so much more and experienced so much more than i have (but who hasn't?) #(my isolation and frozen state at a much younger age is assuredly part of what has added to this shock and naivete for me) #anyway he listed the allyship he's worked for and believed in and the heartbreak he has willingly forgiven #and the humanity and rights for which he stands. and then he said #“when you killed my idealism i had no forgiveness left” #it's silly but it's lived like a splinter in my head and keeps (bizarrely) making me think of that scene from moulin rouge #when he says: thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love. #the thing that makes that tragic isn't his misplaced anger at her but rather the shattering of his idealism. he is in many ways an innocent #an artist who believes in truth and beauty and freedom and above all things love. who suddenly understands that's not how the world works#love can't save you. you can work so hard and try and be so compassionate and forgiving #eventually you have to see how the world is built and your idealism is not real and is not enough #that's what the past weeks taught me. because of the jubilation and justification and hatred and reveling in the pain everywhere #and disguising that as righteous. and pretending it's helping people who deserve help (it isn't. it won't) #and knifing people who have done absolutely nothing in the heart simply for being who and what they are#spreading screeds from another era as if we've been transported through time. and not caring what it does to friends or anyone suffering#and not caring that it's making things more dangerous and volatile because you don't really love the side you claim to support#as much as you hate the other. that's unforgivable. thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love#i don't know what to do. there's nothing i can do

the referenced essay:

https://www.thefp.com/

Once, I Was a Peace Advocate. Now, I Have No Idealism Left.

After terrorists killed my cousin Daniel Pearl, my family called for peace. But after the worldwide celebration of our people’s slaughter, m

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trouble is, idk what to do with the fear that we're going to wake up to seeing people dragged out of their homes and shot in the streets around the world, like that feasibly feels like a thing that is coming. and that will be justified by the left when it does

eta: i am not being overdramatic, as an example:

This is Stephan. He just wants to help

Moodboard: Art Appreciation - Autumn.

❝This is the light of autumn, not the light of spring. The light of autumn: you will not be spared.❞

“She herself is a haunted house. She does not possess herself; her ancestors sometimes come and peer out of the windows of her eyes…”

- Angela Carter, The Lady of the House of Love (1979), featured in her The Bloody Chamber.

John William Waterhouse, Psyche Entering Cupid’s Garden - 1904 

this was accompanied by a photo of guess who:

hey siri, how much more mask off can you get without tearing off your skin