I Was High Off My Ass Last Night And Had This Dream Where I Was In This Dense Ass Forest And Sitting

"justice league doesn't know batman has kids" and by some freak incident, they end up meeting them all at once, after never having one single sneaking suspicion of batman being a family guy.

you've got every batkid + justice league member in the same room, and bruce tries for a total of 6 seconds to diffuse the situation before giving up.

there's bats left right and centre making completely false claims about how their family came to be, just to stir shit. also purposely trying to ruin batman's 'stoic and mean' reputation as best as they can.

jason and steph are telling everyone that they're all bio kids, and bruce does try and correct that one (some of those kids don't even belong to him in a non-bio way!!) but not before tim pipes up and goes 'well actually it depends what you count as biological, he grew me in a lab'.

dick's taking full advantage of the JL's perception of batman being oh so impressionable in the moment, and is telling stories of his childhood + batman raising his younger siblings, making him out to be the softest guy to ever exist (completely on purpose). cass is nodding along next to him, and making sure whenever she adds a comment that she uses the word 'dad' instead of batman just for the extra domestic flare.

babs and jason are explaining how they all consider themselves bats, in a way that would make anyone believe that they're in a cult. bruce is standing amidst it all, an immovable object, with dick's arm on his shoulder, and damian huddled into his side (ALL for dramatic flare. they need the JL to know that he's. just a guy with kids).

Thinking about my previous thoughts about Dick adopting Tim and decided to take a giant leap further-

What if Dick somehow ended up adopting all of his siblings before Bruce could (so they were never technically his siblings)? Like Tim comes and finds him and tells him to become Robin again and instead of being like 'lol no' he sees a tiny child and is like 'fuck i need to protect him' and then it just goes downhill from there.

Tiny assassin child? New daughter.

Girl fighting back against her father's evil plans? Another daughter.

Another assassin child? Son.

GoawayBruceIdon'tcareifhe'syourbiologicalchildhe'sminenow

He and Barbara fight over custody sometimes but they are officially his. And Bruce is tired because he suddenly has a lot of grandchildren.

And then Jason comes back and is like 'thank god I avoided all this' and Dick's like 'NOPE you're mine now Bruce lost his chance'

tim: sweet dog you got there. gordon: yes, this is our new drug-sniffing dog. tim: still training huh? gordon: red robin.. what do you mean? tim: ... tim: nevermind...

I like the idea of Nightwing being a well-known figure among the hero community, but relatively unknown to the public outside of Gotham and Blüdhaven. Like, he was the first ever sidekick and a kid of one of the Justice League's founding members. Most older heroes are his aunts and uncles, the first generation of sidekicks are his friends, and to the younger ones, he is a mentor and older brother figure. The hero community loves him. But outside of that, he is just a local hero. He sticks to the shadows, and while the people of blüdhaven love him, and the people of Gotham have at least heard of him, he is not very well known.

That is until the Justice League hosts some sort of public event with a lot of younger heroes attending, and one journalist gets an idea for a fun, lighthearted story. They go around asking different heroes and sidekicks who their favorite hero is, and 80% have the same answer: Nightwing

i think we need to card these two, they look too young to be gangsters

tried my hand in an ame fanon characterization spectrum inspired by this post. another axis i wouldve added is focus on genki-ness or focus on megane-ness... but im too lazy to do that so this is it. its not perfect but its from what ive seen in my experience

roughly where i'd put my ame in this map... but you'd add boy with girl. and in the genki-megane axis i think i'd be in the middle leaning into genki

The Wayne Family *snap snap*

In the DC world before Martha and Thomas Wayne were killed in an alley, they were incredibly in love. They were also very Gotham.

Rather than the Addams family existing in the dc universe as actual people, Martha and Thomas Wayne were the inspirations for the Addams Family in the dc world. The cartoonist who created the Addams family cartoon strip in the dc world went to a Gotham gala and saw Martha and Thomas, saw Thomas being an absolute simp for his beloved wife. He then witnessed a sword fight that broke out during the gala because Gotham. No one in Gotham bats an eye at a sword fight no matter the time period. No one in Gotham bats an eye at anything because even before the Bat came about, Gotham was still Gotham and people roll with the weird in Gotham. Sword fights were normal. Sword fights are still normal. Different types of sword fighting are electives you can take instead of gym in some Gotham high schools. The cartoonist got out of Gotham by the skin of his teeth and vowed never to return. Tiny Bruce was happier when he was little but he was still a Gothamite and absolutely inspired tiny Wednesday Addams who, by Gotham standards, is quite a pleasant and normal little girl.

Grown up Bruce deliberately avoids Addams family related media. His kids are all amused by the show if/when they see any of it because the Addams really are quite tame by Gotham standard.

it’s november 1st you know what that means

dick grayson is so older sister coded.

like, i know fully well that when jason came around that he had a love hate relationship with him, and by that i mean love shown through acting like he was pissed off at his existence like:

jason: can you drive me to — ?

dick: ugh, no [grabs keys without letting him finish]

dick [pulling into batburger] : i mean since we’re already here, do you want anything?

or

dick: your voice is nauseating get out of my face

jason: fine, i won’t tell you about the fight

dick [ready to wage war on a 12 year old]: WHAT!? who? when?? where???

is there any canon to back this up? no, and i will not explain any further other than that dick wanted to be the cool older sister in a 2000’s movie

I posted this on an aroace subreddit and what I loved is that everyone seemed to have their own interpretation of what it meant and how it applied to them.