AU Where Jason Gets His Revenge By Becoming A Lawyer And Getting Joker Sentenced To The Death Penalty

In situations and headcanons and such where Bruce doesn't tell the justice league his identity, I feel like one of the most often cited reasons is that they'd then immediately connect all of his many waves of increasingly smaller vigilantes back to him.

But I'd like to think it doesn't happen like that.

Like, at some point, Nightwing has been on the team for years, and somehow, no one that didn't already know him as Robin has connected him back to Batman, but of course both Bruce and Dick think they know, because they have to, right?

But then Bruce's identity gets revealed while Dick's off world or something, but he gets filled in, so he assumes that his identity is blown too, right? Of course, once you know Batman is Bruce Wayne, it'd be easy to put together that Dick Grayson is Nightwing.

So then Bruce and Dick have to rush to the watchtower from some sort of Wayne family event one day, but there's no real need to put on their costumes yet, because the league already knows their identities.

Until...

Green Lantern, watching a young man that he's only ever seen through gossip magazines fiddle around in the watchtower: Hey, Bru-Batman, I know we found out your identity and all, but do you really think it's a good idea to bring your children into this? I mean, what if he gets hurt?

Dick, incredulous: You... you do know who I am, right?

GL: It's hard to not know who you are. I saw you on a magazine cover just the other day.

-long pause-

Dick: Bruce, when you used to complain that you work with idiots, I thought you were exaggerating.

-general sounds of outrage from the JL-

I think that instead of being super apprehensive about Jason and him dating Roy, Oliver should take one look at him and then one look at Bruce and go oh, I'm about to be so annoying.

Oliver starts being so nice to Jason. So nice. Inviting him to family dinners. Giving him both his hero communications and personal phone number and telling him to call whenever he needs something. He gives him new tech and keeps updating his weapons and armor. He helps with missions and clean up and says nothing if Jason is a little rough, apart from patting him on the back and saying good job. He starts keeping his picture inside his wallet and has other pictures of Jason, Roy and Lian framed in the house and tells everyone about him. He starts calling him son-in-law first and then just son and then calls him a Harper and eventually a Queen.

At first it was just to annoy Bruce, but after the first time he tells Jason that he did a good job and Jason starts to tear up a little, Oliver goes oh no, oh I'm actually doing this now. This my boy now. I don't care if he and Roy break up or something, this is my boy now.

Bruce still thinks he's just doing it for the sole purpose of pissing him off, though, and he is so fucking mad. The Justice League meetings have turned into a Cold War zone.

Bruce starts to being so nice to Jason as well, forcing himself to ignore some of the more outrageous things Jason does, and Jason is so, so fucking confused.

crash

Because I the universe hates Bruce Wayne, every time one of his kids or friends finds something he genuinely doesn't know how to do or is just mediocre at, Bruce tries to get out of it with a "when would I ever need to [tie balloon animals]" and their next case becomes unsolvable without Steph's excellent [ballon-animalling skills] or Bruce literally has no choice but to rapid-fire try to get good at it while his friends/kids shout at him.

I’ve been watching a play through of Rain Code and i’m only on chapter 4 so no spoilers!

I think it would be monumentally funny if Shingami was coded out so we can see how weird Yuma looks talking to her

Like he looks at her like other ppl can see her

Had a cool chat with a servermate about Rayman being more critter than human [which was partially based on Raygirl’s post about Rayman being a deconstructed furry? I haven’t seen it, but they have :)))] and it was cool and fun and while listening Yaelokre I went full blown fae critter. Tail and peach fuzz and claws and lamb nose and hare eyes and and and-

FUN

The definitive Sherlock Holmes alignment

🇨🇦🇺🇸pookie days

so, i've fallen down the "humans are weird" rabbit hole, and i couldn't help but notice most of it is about how humans are just really durable, adorable, friendly, how we'd pack bond with anything, about how we have such a hive-mind and empathy and determination to survive when things get rough, how we could survive things most other aliens would die from, how we could eat stuff that would poison other aliens, how we inject ink into our skin and pierce it with pieces of metal and drink toxic substances for the sake of entertainment..

it's always human defences and endurance

but i never see people talking about human **aggression**

like, imagine a spaceship happens to have several humans on it even if most residents are alien species, and two of the humans get in a fight.

and i'm not just talking physical, i'm sayin' all kinds of fights.

imagine if two humans got in a serious screaming match and genuinely hurt a few of the alien species sensitive to loud sounds as they watch, flabbergasted at how the two are literally yelling in each-other's faces without breaking a sweat or getting tired from it, while one of the sound-sensitive aliens literally passed out because it was SO loud

or imagine them simply being in shock after interacting with humans for a long time and having this image in their head of humans being so friendly and able to get along with anything and anyone, including stabby, or any predatory, aggressive species we just so happen to find cute. that image getting completely shattered seeing two of the humans they're friends with showing clear anger and aggression in a display they could only describe as "terrifying" in the most visceral sense of the word

or two humans getting in an actual physical fight, and here's where the *several* humans on ship part comes into play,

so the two are duking it out in a violent display of pure hatred while other humans, amused and thoroughly entertained by the violence that would already have put any of the less durable aliens out of commission gather around the fighting pair and start ominously chanting "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT"

prior, the aliens hadn't dared intervene or get any closer because either way they recognized it as a danger

meanwhile some humans JOIN IN for absolutely no reason and it becomes a full on riot

and the aliens just stare like ?????

confused at why they'd find it so endearing, at why they'd literally join for no reason at all, horrified by even just a punch to the gut because to some of the more vulnerable aliens that's their equivalent of literally getting an organ ripped out of them and somehow STILL fighting and then ripping out an organ out of the opponent themselves

and most of all, if humans are capable of befriending aggressive, large predatory beings and getting along with practically everything,

what from the fresh pits of hell triggered two *humans* to fight *each other* of all creatures?

(that is, assuming aliens don't have much knowledge of our history, wars, politics, etc of course.)

Objectively speaking; I LOVE thinking abt the body types of the Robins and how it would've come to be. Like Dick??? He'd have the BROADEST shoulders and PROB tits to go with them! Ya know?? Cause of his more excessive acrobatics and his fighting style. He'd be the PERFECT example of the triangle; the broad shoulders to the tits to the tiny waist with the ass.

And Jason??? Jason's just ALL muscle but like that type of muscle that really only makes him look BIG and like only looks muscular when he's flexing. And this would be both a good and a bad thing for him. Essentially he gained all his muscle mass and newfound height while with the league/in the Pit so there's that but also, I'm sure he’s the exact type of person Little Jason thought he'd grow to be so that he could protect all those he loved that he was too small, at the time, to protect. I'm sure he also must have some mixed emotions abt the connections one could draw between him and Bruce without him also growing to look so much like him.

And Tim??? He's just all wiry muscle, a sleeper build, if you will. He's def got the shoulders and defined pecs but because of his overall slender build, you wouldn't notice. He's obvi MUCH stronger than he looks and it THROWS everyone off. And his legs??? Women are JEALOUS! He'd look GREAT in heels. ;) I'm sure that he suspected this would how he'd always be; smaller. But it must be so difficult to accept because of everyone around him (the batfam) and I can only imagine that he tries to draw inspiration from his mother who was in his same shoes but inspired respect and fear wherever she went.

But Damian??? I'm hesitant to go one way or another with him but I LOVE the idea of him, in the end, leaning towards his mother's physical features. He has the traits of his father but features of his mother and he'd feel so put out because of this. He's The Blood Son of The Batman and he can't have features leaning on the lean, fast, and slender side. On the other hand, he could be the carbon copy of his father which has its own emotional turmoil within it. And for personal reasons, I hope he does grow to be more like his mother because I think that while in his fathers care, this will indirectly force Damian to actually discover himself and not just accept to be his fathers perfect shadow until he becomes that shadow.