Sansûkh Dictionary

Fire lord Ozai: there is only one way to resolve this. Agni Kai

Me who already watched the OG show 36 times:

I’m fine

sometimes i think about narnia and i vibrate out of my skin like...

you walk into a world you cannot understand, frozen and dying, and it is you who thaws it. you who kills the witch, you who breaks the stone table, you who slays the wolf. it is you who is crowned and it is you who wails for two worlds when the wardrobe doors shut behind you.

your skin never sits quite right and your teeth are too dull. there are wars in your bones and decades in your eyes before you can reach the telephone on the wall.

you are king. you are queen. they won't let you read the newspapers at breakfast.

it calls you back from beyond a train and from within paint. begs with bloody palms and salt-crusted cheeks. takes from you all that you can give - and sends you back.

you watch your sister fade.

you are a child twice and an adult once. and when you stand in your home again, with crushed bones and the smell of coal still in your nose, you watch them sneer at your sister.

your sister is the sun above you. she is, beautiful and stone-cast, alive in a world you could never stomach. she smiles, still, and stretches her skin over human bones.

she is no longer a friend of narnia. do you tell them it is her who has to bury you all and the stars that are falling from the skies in shards?

wait are there really new people joining this site. i thought it was a hoax.

living in my head rent free

Dream Of Me | tasm!p.p

summary: this is something I thought of writing for @agnesamarantheastwood after I saw a personal post about her suffering from insomnia. V, you are the sweetest person ever, I really hope this makes you feel somehow happy and so very hugged, you're also a part of what made me come back to writing in here, so this is also a thank you.

In which Peter comforts reader after waking up to a panic attack caused by a heavy insomnia episode coming from his girlfriend.

pairing: Peter Parker (tasm!) x reader

genre: fluffy, comfort

involves: crying, cuddling, disney, top tier boyfriend!peter, a clueless author trying her best to write about insomnia

word count: 1,9k

Peter and you were dating for four months now, and you got to tell him once or twice about your troubled sleep schedule. He knew how melatonin pills and other meds usually helped you sleep and that you never got to the point of running out from those, either carrying them in your purse for nights at his house or travels or keeping a tidy mini stock of them on your bathroom counter.

However, Peter failed to notice how, even with the pills still there –though the stock remained untouched–, you were not really functioning to the best of your capacity. You kept yawning and the bags you usually already had under your eyes were now a deeper color each day, but you didn't mind running out of concealer sooner as long as it kept you from having that conversation with a worried Peter.

The truth is; for the four months-time you were dating, your boyfriend never got to see when insomnia got the worse of you. Peter never met the really sleep-deprived y/n, and that encounter kinda scared you. You knew that it wouldn't take long for it to get harder and harder for you to sleep, –you even though this time it was taking too long for another crisis–, but gosh it felt so good how you weren't taking longer than usual to fall in a deep slumber, so you decided to just enjoy that.

You were scared that the minute Parker met with the harsher consequences of you not having proper sleep, the second he caught you unfocused, zoning out and forgetting so many things like you knew you ended up doing on your worst cases, he'd realize it could be maybe a little too much, and maybe he'd leave.

You had to give Peter some credit, he has been nothing but a sweetheart to you, but the tiniest possibility of overwhelming your boyfriend –who was already busy with his own problems that felt like the weight of the whole city– left you feeling like you were too much work to him and it was unfair.

So this thought just added up to your anxiety as you tossed and turned in bed a little after two in the morning trying to find a good position for your body to just rest and sinfully thinking nonstop about how much sleep-time you already lost and everything you'll have to do tomorrow as your eyelids were firmly shut. gosh, you had to wake up at six.

You didn't even realize your body was shaking. Peter did though, –even if he was lucky to have already dozed off, he always noticed the breakdown of things, claiming that it was like he had an exclusive spidey-sense just for you.– Your boyfriend rolled up in the bed hugging you from behind, still lightly asleep, but that didn't help. Instead, you felt trapped and uneasy and you didn't know how to approach that in the absolute middle of the night.

You sighed, throat burning as you gulped, finally taking your phone out of under the pillow and putting it on the bedside desk, you had to try it one more time, you had to sleep.

You felt so absolutely conscious about everything around you and about your tucked body forming almost a ball of limbs under Peter's left arm, –which felt heavier than ever–. Peter cleared his throat as he opened his eyes, waking up alarmed by your troubled atmosphere. You were shaking.

"Hey..." His voice sounded raspy but firm. Peter took his hand away from your waist. "y/n, turn over, look at me... look at me," Peter cooed. As you turned over, he stared at your wide-eyed, distressed form and frowned just a little bit. "Hi," Peter said, you sniffled in response.

"It's okay, I'm here, look at me," He kept staring deep into your eyes, giving instructions so you would calm down "It's okay baby, I'm here now," Peter finally decided to touch you again, aiming his hand towards your shoulder, you hiccuped for air, still feeling that burning sensation on your throat. "Wow, you're sweating- breathe for me, okay? slowly... We need to slow this down, nice and soft."

Even if your boyfriend was the only one doing the talking, he didn't demand an immediate response from you as he noticed you slowly coming back to your senses and following his directions, eyes piercing through his as well, letting out long, shaky breaths. "Attagirl, you're doing amazing!", As your breathing pace came slowly back to normal, Peter's concealed fear was subsided, relief taking over. Of course, he has done it before, calming people down after rescuing some of them during building fires and other situations, he has never, though, calmed someone he deeply cared for during a situation he didn't know the reason. To see you cooling down meant to Peter that he was doing a good job, and, most importantly, that you'll be fine.

"Hold on to me, okay? Everything is okay, it's just me and you...," when you finally looked a bit more present, you were lying on top of him, holding onto him with both arms and an apologetic look on your face, "panic attack?" Peter finally asked, trying to understand what brought you to that previous state, you shook your head lightly, showing a thin smile, "I can't sleep." You stated simply but sighed deeply avoiding to stress over it again.

"Aww babe, I'm sorry; I just woke up and I felt something was wrong and then I heard your heart beating..."

"Sorry I woke you up, Pete." Guilt washed over a part of you, either you woke him up or he really did feel like something was going on and you disturbed his sleep.

Peter smiled reassuringly; "There's nothing to be sorry about, it's a good thing I'm here." You noticed how his features still looked sleepy, he ran a hand through your hair. "Keep breathing deep and slow. It's all good, beautiful, you're doing very good."

He chuckled under you, "You know, you should really consider keeping me around, I'm gonna have my uses..." He joked. When he woke up, feeling you shaking and listening to your loud heartbeat, his train of thought didn't fail to give him a lot of terrible-case scenarios and then some. He had yet to know if the lack of sleep you mentioned was caused by anything, or if he was experiencing the first time you had an insomnia case by his side. The possibility that his presence gave you anxiety made his heart feel small.

"Yeah? So I can use you?" You chuckled, giving a little twist to his joke. It was weird how cozy you felt right now even though your mind kept racing with different outcomes of Peter understanding the whole of your condition.

"Yeah you can use me anytime you want!" Peter's laugh probably would be considered too loud for the late hour as he blinked an eye at you. For a few moments, the both of you fell in silence, and the boy could still hear your rapid heartbeat. "Oh, wow! Your heart is still racing!" he whispered; as you frowned, he placed one of his hands over yours on top of your chest, waiting for a few seconds so you could feel the rhythm yourself. "See, that's crazy!" As you admired his surprise, Peter fell quiet for a short moment, before he could continue:

"Haering your heartbeat like this... feeling it, so fast... I don't like it, you know?" He rhetorically asked, chuckling a bit, "It makes me think like, I don't know like you're so fragile... I wanna take care of you" Peter concluded, preventing himself from rambling as he made his way to getting up, offering you some water. You stopped him by grabbing his arm, shaking your head slightly, "No, no, no I want you here."

"It's okay," He smiled, relaxing "I can stay, I'm not going anywhere- oh wait let me get a candle." Peter used of his already lifted torso and reached for your bedside table across from you. While he lit the candle with an electric lighter, you appreciated his caring aura, looking at his beautiful traces.

"You're staring." you smiled after hearing that, your boyfriend was back at your side, hugging you a bit. Deciding that you were silent for too long, you started to explain how you felt, trying your best to find the right words. "It just that, like, when it reaches a point when I'm really not sleeping, I get so out of it Pete, really, plus I could just black out anywhere sometimes because I'm so tired but my body won't accept proper sleep at the right time and-"

Peter sighed, using his tongue to wet his lips a little, "You know, when you're awake in the middle of the night, especially when going through a phase like that or when these things are on your mind, I wanna be awake too." You turned your head to look at him as if he had just said the craziest thing.

"I don't want you to be alone when you're in a moment like this... Come here, wait." It was as if he just thought of something really fast; Peter got up from bed, throwing his blanket a little, and you were onto doing the same when he quickly grabbed you bridal style, cooing something like "Come here my baby", he carried you two through the small hallway that divided the rooms on his suit, it felt messy as you kept the fluffy cover on your hands, and you giggled, asking him "What are you doing?" in a low tone.

As he got to the living room, Peter placed you on the couch and turned to the tv, looking for the remote. You sat comfortably with the blanket over you and legs tucked close to your upper body. Peter had put on Disney+, he knew a little about your comfort movies and tales, stuff that felt like small talk as you shared them on your first dates, but that he actually did remember.

"You know, If you don't sleep through this one we can put on Sleeping Beauty," Peter gave you a side smile while going to sit beside you, remote in hand and the old animation story of Robin Hood loading on the TV screen. "Ironically I know it's one of your faves." Peter continued as he made himself comfortable.

As the Rooster started to sing the Whistle Stop, barely a minute into the movie, your boyfriend started scratching your neck, feeling content when you hummed. "You remember the first time you told me you suffered from insomnia..? We were, like, two months in and you were having a little trouble to sleep?" You put your head on his shoulder, "I told you I'm okay with that. 100%, beautiful. I'm lucky to be with you regardless," His hand now caressed the place in between your ear and the nape of your neck and you closed your eyes, both enjoying the sensation of his touch, the song, and the feeling of relief that washed over you knowing that Peter would stick around, through heaven or high water.

"I love every itty bit of you", he hushed, you smiled, slowly turning your head to look at him again, "everything?"

"Yeah, even your toes, even your weird big one." Peter provoked, taking a loud cackle from you as he failed on shushing through his giggles. "Oh, no... that was bad." He could sense your smile through your voice as you moved your head back to his shoulder, scootching a bit so you were cuddling.

"I'm always at your service, m'kay? Babe, I love you." You felt completely relaxed as Peter murmured, eyes finally closing again as you now drifted off, finally, to the sound of your boyfriend's breathing and a comfort movie.

helloooooo, can you do luka x reader cuddling headcanons? 👀👀

❝Luka x Reader cuddling headcanons❞

(I'm sorry for the long wait, anyway I hope you'll enjoy it <33)

↬Fluff, headcanons

↬Warnings/TW: None

-Luka wouldn’t be the type to be immediately touchy or clingy with you, not until he makes sure that you’re comfortable enough around him.

-But if there’s one thing that Luka loves, it’s your cuddling sessions. When you cuddle, it’s usually before going to sleep or while a movie is playing in the background.

-You also love to nap on the Liberty’s deck taking in Luka’s warmth and the sun’s.

-Luka enjoys being both the big and little spoon so you’d alternate. He loves being the big spoon so he can engulf you in his embrace, nuzzling in your hair and playing with it if you ask him too.

-He’d tuck his arms around your waist and press soft kisses to the nape of your neck, taking in your warmth and comforting scent.

-He’d trace small shapes on your skin, run his fingers up your arms, making his way to your cheek and gently caressing it.

-If he’s the small spoon, he’d snuggle up against your chest to listen to your heartbeat while you play with his blue hair strands, sometimes braiding a few of them when he’d let his hair grow a bit too much.

-He’d ask you to sing for him even if you think you have a bad voice. It didn’t matter; he loved listening to your voice. Anything that came out of your mouth in those moments sounded like music to his ear.

-He’ll usually ask about your day while you’re cuddling after a long day of not seeing each other. Luka is a great listener, so he’d always pay close attention to whatever you’re saying even if it might seem boring to you.

-Insomnia is something Luka struggles with frequently but cuddling with you helps him a lot. Even if he still can’t sleep, he’d just stay awake admiring your sleeping figure, tracing your features with his fingertips, and peppering your face with kisses.

-If he accidentally wakes you up he’d start muttering apologies and rub your back up and down to coax you into sleep again.

-If you can’t sleep he’d tell you a bedtime story but would mix up the tales and both of you end up arguing - “No that’s not how the story ends” you protest, “Well, that’s mom’s version” he replies amused by your annoyance. So he’d stick to reading you a book instead.

-Sometimes you’d stay awake to keep him company, enjoying your late-night talks.

-In the morning, it’s hard for both of you to get out of bed. Your limbs tangled together as well as your hearts, you’d stay in bed for a while, savoring each other’s warmth until Luka gets up to make breakfast.

When I'm not thinking about slow burn shit between characters that should be together, I'm thinking about the slow burn between my ideal version of myself and a character that deserved better

maladaptive daydreaming is serious

it’s insane to me how most people don’t take maladaptive daydreaming seriously and just think it’s too much daydreaming. like… they can’t even imagine how weird it is to feel so connected to fake people and worlds to the point you don’t even care much about real life anymore, every waking moment of my life I’m in that world with those people, reality now feels strange and uncomfortable to me. I feel like a piece of meat carrying a consciousness floating in space, just strange. I’m never fully aware of the world around me either. living feels like a chore, but daydreaming makes me feel real and alive. like it’s my home and I  belong there. My parame’s age feels more real to me than my real one. I even mistake the two sometimes when speaking to myself.

I logically I know these people in my mind are not real, these worlds, but my brain, my subconscious doesn’t undestand, if they’re not real why do they make me feel alive, make me feel more emotions than the real world. it’s like I’m in a denial stage that never goes away. I can’t comprehend they’re not real. my brain doesn’t compute. 

my paras get me, they understand me more than anyone else and they’re more close to me than anyone else. I feel more close to them than my friends or family and that feels so pathetic to say. it almost feels like they have a mind of their own. it’s ruining my life but I can’t let it go because it’s most of my life, even my real memories feel distant and fake but my daydreams don’t. 

I feel so alone because most people don’t care and will never understand, even on social media madd is just romantisized and people spread misinformation. only here I feel heard. at least other disorders are taken seriously, and people know about them. all i could ask for is more understanding. I want people to actually research this thoroughly and figure out what the hell this really is. from what i know, madd is very similar to DP/DR.

getting anonymous hate (“just checking in” emails) from jealous haters (my professors) because of my hot takes (incredibly overdue assignments)