Please For The Love Of God Tell Me You're Actually Him

imagine a cigarette

I love the idea of a roomba topography map being the jumping on point for a liminal horror story. House of Leaves II: Roomba.

Even been a-wondering by a cool blue sky?

Every chance I get.

Rod Serling, December 25, 1924 – June 28, 1975.

With Carole Burnett.

Yeah his head just did that.

What's your opinion on JFK?

Rest in piece, shame his head did that

Imagine if you were going about your day until your face just... disappeared. Don't worry! This is a Normal problem that many people face in this society. You just go to lost and found and describe the face you lost. Go on. You remember your face, right? I mean, you wear it every day. You look at it more times than you can count. Alright, fine, if you can't describe your face, how about we go and look for it. I'll show you two of our lost faces, and you say which one looks mostly like your face. That way, I can slowly narrow down to yours.

Alright, I've narrowed it down to the last three. This should be an easy choice, given how diff- I'm sorry, what's that? They all look... the same to you? Nonsense, can't you see how different and unique they are? One of these must be your face, just look harder! Which of these has your eyes? Your nose? Is this hair familiar? Oh come on, hurry up and pick!

a guy who can jork it with his left hand and his right hand, call that ambidicktrous

Hey rod, do you remember the tallest man you’ve ever met?

I meet many tall men. I'm not sure who was the tallest among them.

our new job launched its mandatory ai transcription program designed to streamline our workflow and not only does it melt down the moment it has to transcribe non-white customers but it keeps hallucinating the existence of a mysterious boy named dorian who shows up in every third call summary