Looking At Judas With My Morally Gray Context: It's So Tragic In The Way That He Severs Himself From

Looking at Judas with my morally gray context: it's so tragic in the way that he severs himself from connection. The idea of Judas being all "I was not born for his creation, I wasn't the type of man God had created for Heaven, I was a dirty, rotten, dog to you, and you fed me the crust of bread as if scraps would sedate what you've made me. You mumbling fool! I never believed you! I simply saw it as a way to earn thirty silver! (You knew what I'd do. You knew what I would do to you and you didn't look at me any different. Have you no sense of self preservation? Did you not expect any better of me? Why did you allow me into your arms, or to even become close to you... How come you knew before I did, my lord... If you knew all along, have you forgiven me already?)" Is quite intriguing and I'd really like to hear discussions about it. Judas claiming into the role of the sympathetic villain where he was 'the monster that they created' when in actuality he knows deep down that while asphyxiation might've killed the vessel that holds Jesus Christ, that was one of his best friends, who loved him unconditionally in every sense of the word. [Even this of which is still heavily reliant on Judas' point of view, this analysis doesn't even begin with the motives and character that is Jesus Christ] This is my really long lecture on how I believe UNRELIABLE NARRATION is something key to figuring out characterization.