I Can Never Leave Tumblr Because After Years Of Sporadic Therapy Utterly Failed To Even Approach The

Archive of Our Own (ao3), the internet

Disagree? Respectfully, you can argue with a wall🫶

Steve gives up and goes to law school — just like his dad always wanted. But not out of obedience. Oh no. He does it out of pure, unfiltered spite. The kind of spite that whispers: "I’m gonna dismantle your entire shady-ass business empire, old man. From the inside. With the kind of legal knowledge no overpriced firm ever managed to use against you. And guess what? I’ve got dirt."

It’s that unhinged desire for petty revenge that somehow turns Steve into a genuinely good lawyer. Like, worryingly good. Turns out, it’s easy to learn when you don’t take any of it too seriously — and your internal monologue is just a running track of “let’s see what happens if I win.”

Halfway through law school, he meets Eddie Munson. Accused of crimes in one state. Hiding out in another. A rising rockstar. A chaos gremlin. A walking lawsuit. And unfortunately, Steve’s new client — because Steve just had to sign up for that unpaid “public defender internship.”

The rest is legal hellfire, leather jackets, and questionable decision-making.

Oh, and falling in love. Probably. Maybe.

(Definitely.)

Half of this is from @purplepri? I had this idea before but I wrote it down after liking a post about Steve in business school so…

you really can’t unsee american military propaganda in movies like once you start thinking about it you are doomed to be the friend who’s too political when people put on an action movie for the rest of your life

Once I "made" a custom emoji for my mum by crudely drawing a hijab on it and now whenever she wants me to buy a coffee for her I get a text like this

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

bones and all

Nothing gives a situation more chaotic energy like the presence of a horse somewhere with no reason why there would be a horse. Because getting a horse in there would require either absurd amounts of planning, or absurd disregard of anyone's health or safety, and the chaos is in the fact that you don't know. With a more unusual animal, say a kangaroo or an elephant, it's obvious that you somehow arranged this with some sort of professional animal handler staff, and probably had to go through a bunch of paperwork to get it here.

But a horse? It's not implausible that you found someone who owns a horse and asked to borrow their horse. It is also not implausible that someone just straight-up fucking stole a horse. Or a horse broke out on its own and was wandering around and got lured here with apples and jazz music. It is the whimsy of the unknowable at play.

Wh-whats going on??????