IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF HAVING THIS GOD FUCKING DAMNED DISORDER I WANT TO RIP ALL OF MY HAIR OUT OF MY

i just wish to be perceived as gentle and kind. that’s it, that is truly all i want.

it hurts to know this will never be.

struggling to eat again, my therapy for this week had to be cancelled, and i feel like i should die. will i be sent back to the psych ward? probably not. do i want to be? kinda, i don’t feel good :/

i wish things could be different,

what if i like, just started manifesting that he came back? :D

(yes this is about who we all think this is about lmfao, im pathetic and need to speak to my therapist)

vent post about dying young and being a bad dog: an unofficial writing

i am so different, i wish the people of my past could see that and give me just a couple more chances to change. all i want is a friend before i die of some stupid heart defect. for now, literature is my safe space once again,

uriel i wish i hated you. i wish i could not still have some form of love for you.

written with the panicked cadence of Siken in mind. he gets me.

8.7.24 excerpt-

“and a large part of me is dead too, lying there with your ashes in the mahogany box”