Little Ficlet For Anyone Having A Tough Time Right Now 🥰 Joe Wants To Look After You And Make It Better

Erica grows up to be the youngest Dungeon Master for Hellfire. She keeps Eddie’s dice to honour him, and makes her campaigns extra punishing just to honour him further. At the beginning of every new campaign, they have a moment of silence. The new recruits aren’t told why, but it’s custom, so they participate. Erica becomes the new shepherd, herding all the little lost sheep until a new one can take her place. Giving them a space to feel safe, to be themselves. That is Eddie’s legacy, and hers.

*giggling voilently*

credits by me ofc.

jealousy, jealousy

Summary: You're usually someone who preaches love but there's something about a new recruit that makes your blood boil.

Jealousy isn’t part of your vocabulary, it never has. So when you started dating Bucky you assumed it wouldn’t be a problem. Of course you noticed the widened eyes and hushed words people- men and women alike, Buck’s got game left and right- whenever the two of you would walk into restaurants. When you started pointing it out to him, he would always say: “It’s not cause they like my looks sweets, they’re afraid of me.”

Maybe at first that was the case but definitely not now, the public’s perception of Bucky turned positive. From terrifying Winter Soldier close all your doors to I’ll set my house on fire just to get a look at Daddy Sarge.

And there wasn’t anyone who loved teasing him about it more than you. Some nights, whenever he’s been especially annoying you would search his tag on twitter and read what people post about him. His cheeks would burst red and he would bring the comforter up to his face.

“Could you please stop with that!” He groaned but a smile tugged at his lips. “You know it gives me a weird feeling!”

“I would love to see the Eiffel Tower, they say Paris is beautiful this time of year. @BuckyBarnes @SamWilson.” You giggled as you brought your phone closer to your boyfriend.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Do I even want to know what that means?”

“It’s-well- kind of when you-“ You pursed your lips and made a triangle shape with your hands. Maybe a visual aid would help?

Bucky grabbed both of your hands and brought them to his lips. “Can you please put me out of my misery?”

But today was very different, it had been for a few weeks now. There was something about the new brunette agent that rubbed you the wrong way. Maybe it was that she was currently rubbing Bucky’s bicep. 

Jealousy does not exist in my world. My happiness comes from within me. There is no jealousy in true love. 

You repeated this over and over in your head, raising the speed on the treadmill and focusing on the windows in front of you. You were not going to focus on the fact that there was a hot pink nail polish wearing agent openly flirting with your boyfriend. Definitely not focusing on that. 

Your heartbeat started to rush as you kept on running, seeing red. No mantra was enough, you wanted problems. You were going to go up to her and pin her down on the floor until she was patting on the mat, taking her last brea-

“You okay?” Natasha asked, placing her hand on your lower back to stabilize your body as she lowered the speed on the treadmill. “It looks like you’re trying to challenge the speed of light over here.”

You took a deep breath to calm your anger and looked at the redhead with a smile. “I’m trying to get rid of all my- you can call it extra energy.”

Natasha threw her head back with a laugh. “Bucky training the new recruits?”

“This hasn’t happened before, I’m usually very chill about everything. But there’s something about this one.” You said, forcing your eyes onto Natasha’s instead of behind you. Where they were now about to start sparring. 

Natasha’s eyes traveled from yours to behind you. “If that’s the problem then I strongly suggest you don’t look now.”

You turned your head just enough to see the young recruit asking for your boyfriends hand to stand up, putting her other hand on his shoulder as she came up. You heard her giggle as she draped her arm over his shoulder and started complimenting his new shorter haircut. But the thing that threw you over the edge was how she placed her palm against the back of his neck. 

“Excuse me.” You said to Natasha, ripping open the pocket on the left side of her tactical suit and taking out one of the small knives you knew she hid. “I just need to borrow this for a second.”

Before Natasha could even get a word out you planted both of your feet on the gym floor and sent the knife flying in between Bucky and the new agent’s face and landed on the wall behind them. Bucky leaned back a little as he felt the air rushing when the knife passed him, turning to face you with a stupid smug smile. The recruit on the other hand, fell to the floor and clutched her chest. 

Nat tried and failed to swallow her laugh.

You brushed past Bucky and the agent, who was still on the floor. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“You should really work on your aim. Someone could have gotten hurt.” She shot you an annoyed look as you un-stabbed the wall. 

You turned on your heel and debated your answer. 

Actions speak louder than words. You thought. 

Without breaking eye contact with the woman, you sent the knife flying right to the spot next to her head. With no effort the blade stuck to the foam flooring. 

“I have perfect aim.” You smiled walking past Bucky who was biting the inside of his cheek to suppress his smile.

“Are we still on for dinner Sweets?” Bucky asked, the sides of his lips curving upwards. 

“7:30, don’t be late.” You said without turning to him. 

---------

Author's Note: Kinda short but I hope you guys liked it! As always my requests are always open!! Be sure to comment, like and reblog if you like!!💖💖🦾

“bella ramsey plays ellie, i call her bellie and she’s my blessing”

please pedro thats so fucking cute

Fearless

steve harrington x fem!reader

inspired by "Fearless" by Taylor Swift

word count: [5.9k] proof-read (i tried!!!)

warnings: no use of y/n, mutual pining, a lot of fluff, basically this whole thing is FLUFF GALORE!!!!!, mentions of awkward first kisses.

summary: you and steve have known each other for a little while--both playing babysitting to the kids. steve makes the first move and asks you out on a date that takes a stormy turn. despite this you and steve make the most out of your date and it leads to sparks flying and a fearless first kiss.

God, you shouldn’t be feeling this nervous. After all, Steve was the one who asked you out on a date. He made the first move, and all you had to do was make sure to be there and not get distracted by his charm and good looks—Jesus, you were already beginning to drift off into Space Harrington.

“Honey, you look beautiful, as always.” Your mother leaned up against your doorframe, bringing you back to reality as you turned to her and gave her a sincere smile.

“You don’t think it’s too much?” you asked suspectedly, looking down at your little black dress and short platform heels. It had just rained a few hours ago, and it had only begun to clear up. You had been debating on this outfit or tossing on a sweater and some shorts—but this would be a pleasant change from your usual attire.

Your mom sang, letting herself into your room and looking through the blinds to see the pavement still drenched in rain water, but the sky clearing up in this early afternoon, “I think you’ll be fine sweetie, seems to be getting a bit sunny.”

You nodded, walking over to your vanity, put on a few accessories while your mother sat on the end of your bed. Giving you encouraging looks and sweet compliments that eased your nerves a bit. She knew of Steve, given the fact that he would drop off the kids at your place when he needed to take an extra shift at Scoops on late notice.

It became a recurring theme in your short friendship that began this summer—but with fall and a new school year on the way, you and Steve’s little drop offs lessened. You’d miss each other, even when your interactions and conversations were short, you both longed for more time to get to know one another, and surprisingly enough Steve had asked you out on a date last weekend when you stopped by Scoops to pick up a tub of ice cream for you and the kids.

You clasped on your little necklace before hearing a few knocks on your front door, “be back at a decent time, please.” your mom smiled at you through the reflection of the mirror.

Nodding your head, you gave her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek as she watched you pick up a small purse and rush your way down the stairs. You took a deep breath, internally preparing yourself before you slowly opened it up.

There he stood.

Striped polo, blue jeans with his signature brown belt, his red Nike Cortez’s, and a bouquet of red roses in his hands.

“H-hey,” he sputtered, letting out an awkward greeting, too enraptured by your getup, only snapping out of his stupor when you finally spoke.

“Hey yourself, Steve. You look nice!”

He shook his head, finally pressing the flowers towards you, “Got these for you…you look beautiful by the way, I mean you always do, but wow…I just—sorry, if I’m being weird.”

You giggled with your teeth trapping your bottom lip, taking the flowers from his hands and giving them a whiff, “I’ll put these in a vase when I get back home.”

He nodded, watching as you placed them on the small counter at your front door before you stepped out with him.

“Weather has been all over the place today huh?” He came up with, resting a warm hand on the small of your back as he guiding your to his car.

You wanted to snort at how silly it was that he was talking to you about the weather, of all things, when there was so much that you two wanted to say to each other. Maybe he was nervous, and you were just doing a better job at concealing your own inner anxiety.

“Yeah, I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to wear this since it might come down again…hopefully it doesn’t.” You smiled up at him, his fingers wrapping around the door handle, letting you in as he nodded politely.

The quiet buzz of his car engine that was still running and music coming from the stereo system filled your ears for the quick seconds of silence before your favorite voice echoed.

“I’ve got a jacket somewhere back there if it ends up storming again,” he assured you, hands resting on the top of the door until you buckled yourself in.

“Thanks, Steve.”

You turned your head towards the backseat, as you waited for Steve to get into the drivers’. Your eyes catching a small picnic basket, along with other junk that cluttered his backseat before—

“Hey! No peeking missus,”

Your eyes were back to the front, trying to keep a guilty look on your face, but you couldn’t help but let out a laugh especially when Steve had his arms across his chest like a father.

Your chest never stopped churning with laughter, body bending over to clutch your tummy, “I’m sorry, you just look like a father when you do that.”

He chortled, shaking his head as he started up the car and began the drive to your surprise date that he had planned all by himself…ok maybe he received a little advice from Dustin and Lucas about the fall hotspots that girls love.

“The kids really miss you, y’know?” Steve looked over at you as you smiled, resting a hand over your heart.

“Haven’t seen them in over a week. I’ve just been so busy and they’re growing up and don’t want me meddling in their business anymore,” you half joked.

Steve scrunched his brow is disagreement, shaking his head, “Don’t be ridiculous, the kids love you…they’re just, you know…exploring the boundaries of—”

Your hand shot up, holding it in front of him to stop, “Ew! Please, let’s not discuss the sex lives of the children we’ve been babysitting for the last year.”

“I’m just being honest…jesus I hope they got the talk because I am way too young to—”

“Steven!”

“I’m kidding! I’m joking!”

The laughter that filled the car slowly died, but never did the feeling of warmth and affection. The two of you rarely had anytime to spend together alone, so this was definitely a little different and nerve-racking, but he never failed to make you feel comfortable and today was no different.

Your body shifted towards your left, feeling inclined to want to be close to him, despite sitting beside each other already, “So where are we headed?”

“It’s a surprise dingus,” He experimented a bit, taking his right hand off the wheel to gently probe at your side, insuring a giggle that meant you didn’t mind and he liked that.

He brought both hands back to the wheel and glanced back over at you, “I’ll give you a hint. It’s some place really pretty.”

You scoffed jokingly before responding, “Geez, guess that leaves our options limited in this small town.”

“Hey! Are you doubting my picking a date skills?”

You shook your head, smiling a bit, “Of course not, you’re Steve Harrington for godsake. I bet you know allllll the hot spots around here.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, “Yea, alright, whatever you say.”

Then he did that goddamn thing.

Running his fingers through his hair. It was such a simple action, but it always made you weak in the knees. How the strands of his dark brown hair seemed to flow perfectly through his digits and fall back into place with ease. Jesus, you just wanted to pounce on him and coat him with kisses, but instead you had to play it cool.

“Stop staring at me to distract me!”

Your eyes blinked wildly, and your bottom lip that mindlessly got caught between your teeth was released as you shook your head, pretending to not be affected by him.

“I am not staring!”

“Oh yes, you were!” He argued with an amused look on his face that let you know you had to be caught.

“You must be hallucinating, Steven.” You waved him off as he laughed lightly, making an incoherent comment about how it was more than ok, how he liked it when you stared, anyway.

The rest of the drive was filled with small talk and laughter. It felt easy. Just the way you liked it.

Soon you felt the car stop and watched Steve place his car in park.

“We—we’re at a hill?” You asked questionably, lifting your brows as you peered between Steve and the surrounding setting.

Steve turned his head towards you, smiling as he nodded his head confidently, “Yup…just trust me, ok?”

“I do.”

You didn’t hesitate to trust him at all, and when he heard those two sweet words slip from your mouth, he could feel his heart swarm warmly.

He held one of his palms out, gesturing for you to wait in your seat. And so you did. He got out of the driver’s seat, quickly opening the back door to grab some stuff, then jogging over to the passenger. Opening your door and holding his hand out graciously as you took it with ease.

The wet rain drops sprinkled over your ankles and feet slightly as you two walked through the dewy grass and up the hill until you reached the small flat area that was decorated with a red and white picnic blanket and more flowers that were picked and scatters on the fabric.

You gasped, dropping his hand as yours covered your mouth in surprise. Stepping closer to get a better view of the setup. He had gone all out of the way to plan this, and you knew that the kids must have helped somehow.

“Do you like it?” Steve’s voice was a bit nervous, and you could sense it in his worrying tone.

You turned your head back to him and nodded obviously, “Steve, are you kidding me? This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“Yes!” is what Steve wanted to say, but instead, kept the celebration in his head while he smiled, taking a few steps to get closer to you. Wrapping his free hand around your shoulders to give you a warm hug.

“Here sit.” He said, pulling away and gesturing you to sit. The material beneath you, thick enough to not feel the wetness of the rain from an hour ago, but the air still lingering with a breeze that was nice.

Steve set down the picnic basket, pulling out a variety of finger foods and drinks, explaining each of them.

“I packed us some sandwiches; one has turkey, the other ham. I also picked up one of those small veggie platters from the grocery store, along with some chips. I think Dustin said that you liked Doritos and Lays, so I just got both. Oh! And then yesterday when I dropped off Lucas, his mom gave me a bag of fruits, so last night I just chopped them up and put them in tupperwares so that we could enjoy them today. If you don’t like any of these, then we can totally go to the store or somewhere else to get some—”

“Steve, it’s perfect. Everything is perfect.”

Thank god you cut his rambling off short because it seemed that he was running out of breath from talking so fast just like Robin did when she was nervous. Nevertheless, it was cute. He had put a ton of thought and consideration in this date, making sure he got you everything you liked.

“Y-yeah?” His voice cracked a bit as you giggled and nodded, reaching over to run your thumb over his fingers that rested on his knee.

“A hundred percent certain.” You guaranteed him, leaning over to peck his cheek, ignoring the worries in your head and becoming completely courageous with him.

He eased feeling the touch of your lips on his skin, even if it was only for a few seconds. He would savor that feeling and never forget it. Wrapping that moment in time up and storing it in his mind to reply over and over again.

“Let’s dig in, shall we?”

You opted for the turkey sandwich, but occasionally stealing bites of Steve’s, which he found was adorable. He didn’t mind sharing. In fact, anything that was his, he would share with you, no questions asked.

“You’re a child!” Steve snickered out with a full mouth as he watched you remove the small bits of crust that were left on your sandwich that you were almost done with.

You took the piece and chucked it at him, hitting his nose before it plopped down onto his lap, “The crust is like the worst part of a sandwich!”

“That’s something a child would say.” Steve rebutted as you rolled your eyes with no real malice behind them.

He dusted his fingers off, watching as you enjoyed your last bits of crust-free-turkey-and-swiss. He felt a sense of pride knowing you had been indulging in a lunch he made all by himself. He would have to make it for you again if you liked it this much.

Steve reached over back into the picnic basket, “I actually have another surprise.”

You began giddily clasping your hands together as he pulled out the stocky piece of the latest tech, “Holy shit! This brand new?”

He smiled as you looked at him, silently asking if you could hold it, and so he handed it to you, watching you inspect the device before checking the film slot.

“I just put a new pack in. We can take some pictures if you want?”

You nodded eagerly, peeping through the viewfinder as Steve adjusted his posture and ran a rough hand through his hair that made your heart burn and cheeks blush. You hoped that Steve couldn’t see you ogling like a school girl behind the thing or else you’d never hear the end of it.

“Cheese!” you exclaimed as he flashed you his pearly whites and the flash went off, his eyes squinting for a second before adjusting back to the normal light.

Your fingers deliberately pulled the photo out from the slot, walking on your knees towards him, leaning over as you shook the film and watched it slowly develop.

“This is so fascinating.” You murmured, eyes trained on the photo while his were stuck on your face, compelled at the way you scrunched your forehead together so that it creased as a small bit of your tongue snuck out of your mouth while you waited with anticipation.

Finally, after a few more seconds, your face lit up with an amazed grin, glancing over at Steve, who did his best to act like he too was watching the photo develop, “HA! How cool is that!”

“It’s neat, isn’t it?” Steve replied, taking the photo from you as he looked at all the details that this photo was able to capture.

You leaned against him, hovering to keep looking at the photo, “I always wanted one of these things, might need to get one this weekend.”

He turned to you, letting the photo fall carelessly onto the picnic blanket, as he placed a warm hand on your hip, “I could drive you if you want?”

“You’d do that?” You asked comically, as if Steve wouldn’t drop everything and do whatever it was that you wanted on a Saturday, even if he had made plans beforehand.

Steve nodded, rubbing comforting circles with his thumb, “course I would…now we gotta take some photos of you!”

You smirked, watching him take the camera from your hands before he stood up, walking a bit backwards as you stayed in place, standing on your knees.

“Do I look ok?” you somewhat raised your brow while you combed your fingers through your hair, attempting to get it nicely messy.

He peeped watching you through the camera lense, bopping his head, “The prettiest girl in Hawkins.”

“Steveeeee stoppppp.” You dragged out the words, an evident rose tint peeking through your blushed cheeks as he purred.

“It’s true! Now smile!”

You closed your eyes on habit, but still your smile splayed across your face as you heard the click, “You closed your eyes!”

“I know! I know! I’m sorry!” You threw your head back as he laughed, shaking his head freely.

“S’ok we can take more…c’mon give me another smile,” You nodded, changing your pose a bit before he spoke again, “Eyes open this time.”

You giggled at his certain tone, keeping your eyes open just like he asked as he counted down from three, fingers pressing the button and the flash left as quickly as it came.

“Wow, sooooo pretty.” Steve said, while he walked back over to you, showing you the picture that was still developing as you scoffed, pushing his hands away.

“You can’t even see how it turned out yet.” You crossed your arms across your chest, watching as he shrugged his shoulder.

“I don’t need to see how the picture turned out to say you’re pretty…you’re right here next to me, the prettiest girl in Hawkins.”

The warm feeling burned in your stomach, as did your cheeks. He knew how to make you feel smitten and usually you’d be embarrassed by the compliments, but it was nice, especially coming from him.

“How lucky am I that I get to be in the presence of the prettiest boy in Hawkins?”

What overcame you to give you such confidence to compliment him back? You don’t know what it was. Maybe it was him. Maybe it was just genuine courage. Whatever it was, you wanted more of it.

Steve just smiled, as wide as the one placed on your face as he lifted the camera, not bothering to look through the lense as he snapped another photo of you.

“Steve!” You giggled, reaching over to try to wrestle the camera out of his hands to take your own candid of him.

It only ended up becoming a tickle match as he poked your sides, with the camera long forgotten on the picnic blanket below you two. His fingertips chased your sides and the crease of your neck, while you wiggled beneath him in a poor attempt to get away from his tickles that never stopped. The uncontrollable laughter and shrieks in the crisp air, until you felt a wet splat on your nose.

“uh oh,” you and Steve both whispered, as he stopped his movements. The droplets becoming bigger and hitting the two of you now as the rain danced on Steve’s shirt covered back and against your bare thighs.

Yet the laughter only seemed to get boisterous with you wiggling your way out from underneath Steve as he took your hand and pulled you up with him. His freehand practically bound the blanket around everything, creating a sack that would be easier to carry.

“Let’s make a run for it!” He screeched, giving your hand a squeeze as he led the way down.

The rain came down quicker with each step that almost became a tumble down the hill a few times. He quickly opened the doors to his car, throwing in the blanket full of stuff into the backseat and reaching in for the spare jacket he had in there.

“Here, take this.” Steve flared open the material, draping it over your head and shoulders as he opened the passenger door for you, quickly getting you settled.

He shut the door and raced over to his side of the car. His arm barricading his head from the big droplets of rain that splashed against his skin before he was able to get into cover.

Your skin was dewy from the water. Thankfully, his jacket was thick enough to salvage your hair and makeup. You smiled up at him once he got into his seat. Pulling the jacket away from your head and patting it against your arms and legs where dewdrops spread.

He was chuckling to himself, flipping his visor down to get a look at his rain-soaked face. A few teeny drops floating on his eyelashes and eyebrows, and his hair was now soaked. Yet somehow it still looked perfect, falling into place with a strand curling into his forehead, laying there flawlessly.

You giggled, sitting up on your knees as you leaned forward, “Steve, let me help,” the jacket sleeve now brushed against his cheeks and eyes as the cotton collected the water.

Steve looked up at you, surprised by the touch. He watched you, lip caught between your teeth as you moved the fabric towards his hair, attempting to ring out the excess water as gently as possible without tugging on his roots.

“Better?” You proposed, finally releasing your lip from between your teeth as you looked down at him.

He smiled widely, nodding his head as he felt you fall away back into your seat where you wrapped his jacket around you tighter, creating warmth to your skin.

“Shit, here,” He hurriedly lurched forward, messing with the knobs and buttons on dash until the heater light came on, and warm air erupted from the vents, immediately making you feel a lot less cold.

You closed your eyes, appreciating the kindness of the boy beside you, before you peeked one eye open and looked at him, “Thank you, Steve.”

“No problem,” He replied, reaching over to rub your arm back and forth, gently producing more warmth under his jacket and beneath your skin.

Honestly, you were hoping that Steve couldn’t feel you shaking right now. Not because of the damn weather, but with how close he was to you. It was no different from earlier when you two were practically tickling the lives out of one another, but this was so sweet—too sweet, almost.

It was as if Steve was ticking off all the boxes for your first date expectations. First the flowers. Then the opening of the car door. Next, the whole surprise date setup. On top of that was his tooth rotting compliments. Then giving you his jacket and now doing everything he can to make you feel comfortable.

This doofus was your dream man.

You finally had it in yourself to open your eyes, watching the water slide down the windowpane with the gloom of the town settling in darker, “I don’t want today to end, just yet.”

He hummed, nodding his head in agreement, running his hand up your arm then over your jaw where it rested and gently turned your face to his, “Me neither.”

His eyes were boring into yours, and it was taking every ounce of your control not to squeal like a madwoman with the way he was delicately looking into you and how his voice was so soft.

Steve continued, brushing his thumb over your cheek slowly, “We can just drive around and talk? Does that sound ok?”

“It sounds perfect.” You smiled back, feeling grateful for Steve’s spontaneity.

The drive was hushed at first, but not the troublesome kind. Just not bothering to fill the space with words until you both were ready to. And when the both of you did begin talking about the most randomest things, you found yourself laughing more than you had in a while—your heart swelling with joy.

His camera had found its way back into your hands, and now as the conversation went on, you couldn’t help but to snap photos of Steve mid-laugh or when he’d glace over at you from the road. You just wished that the damn thing had a video record option so that you could capture the moment and replay it over and over again.

Steve continued driving, the rain tapping softly on the windshield as he shared stories about his high school days.

“I remember one time, Tommy and I snuck into the school after hours and rearranged all the desks in the classrooms,” Steve said, grinning at the memory.

You laughed, shaking your head at his antics that were probably still somewhere in him, “You were quite the troublemaker, huh?”

Steve shrugged. “I had my moments. What about you? Did you ever get into any trouble?”

You shook your head. “No, I was always a bit of a goody two-shoes. The worst thing I ever did was get caught kissing a boy by my mom.”

Steve’s eyes widened, reaching a red light and turning to you. “Your mom was mad? How old were you?”

“Like fifteen. I was a freshman, and I had a major crush on the guy! I was getting picked up after school and my mom just had to pull up at that moment.”

You and Steve both shared a good laugh. Him trying to picture what freshman year you looked like and how horrified your mother must have looked like in the car. You knew exactly what she looked like, mouth wide open with her eyes just as big, before she rolled down the window and yelled at you to get in.

You never spoke to that boy ever again, and it was now a memory that you and your mom looked back on and laughed it today.

By now, the laughing slowly died, and the light turned green, ushering Steve to continue on the streets taking random turns until he ran out of road.

“So, what was your first kiss like?” Steve suggested, glancing over at you.

You laughed nervously, cringing at the memory of the actual kiss itself.

“It was...boring, to be honest. I was nervous and excited, but when it finally happened, there was no spark. It was just...bleh.”

Steve chuckled, tapping his fingers on the wheel, thinking about his first kiss back in eighth grade, “Yeah, I get that. My first kiss was okay, but it was kind of gross at first. The girl added tongue, and I wasn’t expecting it.”

You cringed, thankful your first kiss didn’t add tongue, but it was wet and awkward, “That does sound gross.”

“It wasn’t great,” Steve admitted. “But it got better after a few seconds.”

You cackled, throwing your head back against the leather rest. “Well, at least it got better.”

They drove in silence for a few moments; the rain continuing to tap on the windshield.

“You know, I’ve always been waiting for that spark,” you said, voice thoughtful. “Like in the movies, you know? That electric moment when you kiss someone and it’s like fireworks go off. But I’ve never had that.”

Steve nodded, thinking back to all his kisses and never really feeling that feeling with any girl he had ever been with. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve had some good kisses, but I’ve never felt that spark either.”

You shook it out of your thoughts, not wanting to even get your hopes up about kissing Steve on your first date. It probably wouldn’t happen and even if it did, you were so incredibly nervous that you wouldn’t be good at it. Sure, you had boyfriends and kisses here and there, but they weren’t the best.

Kissing was intimate, and you wanted to do good, especially if it was going to be with Steve Harrington.

Your mind was racing.

What if Steve wanted you to kiss him? What if Steve wanted to kiss you? Was he going to initiate it? Which way were you going to need to tilt your head? Should you add tongue? What if you get lipstick on his lips? Was your lips too dry?

God, your fears were echoing in your head.

“Have you ever danced in the rain?”

The question blurted out of your mouth before you could even think if it was a question worth asking. You just wanted to get those stupid thoughts out of your mind and before you knew it, here you were spurting out if Steve Harrington ever danced in a goddamn storm.

Steve thought for a moment. “Probably when I was a kid,” he said, shrugging, looking over at you, “Why do you ask?”

“I—I never have,” you admitted. “In the movies they always do it…I’ve never had the chance.”

Steve grinned, changing lanes before speaking, “Why don’t we change that?”

You watched as he turned off the main street and into an empty parking lot. All stalls were empty, and he freely parked in the middle of the lot not caring if he was in the lines or not.

You looked at him, surprised, leaning forward. “What are you doing?”

“Come on,” Steve smiled, twisting the key out of the ignition and opening his door.

You looked out the window at the pouring rain, feeling a little nervous about suggesting this, but as Steve appeared at your side to lead you out of the car, you felt a surge of excitement flowing through your veins, “Dance with me?”

Feeling the cold raindrops hit your skin. You twirled around, feeling giddy with excitement, while Steve watched with a soft smile on his lips. The rain drenching both of you from head to toe didn’t matter as you both laughed, hopping around the pavement with your arms wide open.

And then, without warning, he took your hand and pulled you close to him. Steve's hands on twisting around your waist, and instinctively your arms around his neck. You both started to sway back and forth to the rhythm of the rain, feet splashing on the ground, giggling at the absurdity of it all.

As you and Steve danced, the rain wasn’t the only that washed over you, but also a sense of joy and freedom. It was like nothing else in the world mattered except for this moment, this dance in the rain with the person you felt everything for.

As the minutes passed with your relentless dancing, the rain began to ease up little by little—dissipating into a light drizzle.

Your movements got slower and steadier, just moving back and forth in each other arms before you rested your cheek on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart.

“Thanks for this,” you whispered, feeling a little shy, but it quickly passing his arms squeezed your tighter, his chin resting on your head.

“Anytime,” Steve replied, his voice soft. “I had a great time dancing in the storm with you.”

Your breath hitched, hearing his words flow out of his mouth, knowing he was content here with you even if you both were soaked through your clothing and probably would end up with a cold by the night.

Slowly, your face left his chest, and his chin retracted from your head.

You swallowed thickly, closing your eyes, just about ready to go for it. Even Steve had closed his eyes, slotting his head to the side leaning forward, only a few more milliliters separating your lips.

You could feel his breath fanning over your skin as you moved closer. Your heart was beating out of chest, the thoughts in your mind slowly echoing again. You tried to ignore it—just go for it.

And you were so close, but the sudden crack in the sky, rumbled loudly out of nowhere causing you to move back, started.

Steve immediately grabbed your hand, leading you back to the car. “Let’s get out of here,” he declared, opening the door for you.

You felt a more than embarrassed, stuffing your face in your hands when he shut your door and jogged over to his side. You could hear him open the door and shut it, moving around in his seat to get comfy before letting out a grunt seeing your state.

He placed a warm hand on your shoulder, causing you to peek at him through your fingers before pulling them away from your face entirely.

“I’m sorry,” you said, looking down at your feet. “I—I got carried away.”

Steve repeated the action that had you melting earlier in the day. His hand coddling your jaw making you look up at him. “Don’t be sorry,” he said, smiling reassuringly. “I wanted to kiss you, too. But safety first.”

A rush of affection filled you.

He wanted to kiss you.

Steve Harrington wanted to fucking kiss you.

His hand dropped from your cheek and instead intertwined with your hands as he clicked on his seatbelt and kissed the back of your hand before he began driving. The rain was still echoing in your ears, but only lightly as the clouds ironed out and a twinge of golden hour peeked through the gloom.

Steve turned into your neighborhood after a short while, the two of you laughing as he got lost down random back roads after taking a bunch of random turns, but nevertheless he found his way.

He parked the car, sadly loosening your hands as he got out to get you. He led you to the back of his trunk, grabbing a few spare pieces of clothing to dry off with. He passed you a graphic tee, allowing you to ring out the water from your hair, and he did the same with a pair of shorts.

You finished first, leaning up against his car, and watching him with a smile on your face as he wipe the fabric up and down his arms, “Thanks again for today.”

He looked up, tossing the pieces back into the trunk and shutting it closed, “It was my pleasure, doll.”

Again, he reached for your hand, clasping it together as he walked you to your front door, a glow of the sun shimmering off your skin, glittering your eyes in the rays as he stared at you in awe.

He couldn’t even fantom the fact that he was able to score a date with the prettiest girl in Hawkins, let alone had the chance to get this close to you. For once he was thankful that through those little twerps he babysat that he was able to meet you.

“I had a great today with you…” He took your other hand, in his, squeezing both of them as he continued, “I uh—do you wanna do it again sometime? In a few days or whenever you’re free?”

Your heart skipped a beat knowing you and Steve would be seeing each other soon, “I’d love that.”

Today was a fairytale even if the weather may have changed your plans, but every raindrop was worth it if it meant you being here with Steve and another date already set for the upcoming days.

You couldn’t let this day end without showing him how you felt. Feeling a sense of boldness and knowing Steve felt the same, you undid your hands from his, wrapping it around his neck.

Before he could say anything, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his, feeling a rush of electricity shoot through your body.

Steve was taken aback for a moment, but then he melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him.

The spark of electricity flowed between the both of you the second your lips touched. The kiss was full of passion and emotion—like you could just lose yourself in Steve and he felt a sense of joy and wonder, as if a whole new world had just opened up to him.

You both stayed like that for a few moments, lips locked in a tender embrace, before pulling away slowly.

Steve smiled at you, his eyes sparkling with affection a contrast to his low and husky voice, “I’ve been wanting to do that all day.”

Today had been everything you both had ever wanted, and more.

“Then let’s not let it go.” You spoke serenely, orbs flickering up at him as he nodded with a smile, his hands splayed on your back now, pulling you closer.

Both of your eyes fluttered closed as you leaned in for another kiss, then another, and then one more for good luck—feeling fearless than ever.

A/N: all credits to taylor swift for writing this beautiful song!!!! i think fearless tv as a whole is such a steve coded album and i just had to write this!!! let me know what you think and please reblog!! any interaction is greatly appreciated!!!

taglist (if you would like to be added just leave a comment!): @translatemunson @kennedy-brooke @manda-panda-monium @tvserie-s-world

Just a little thought for your sweet Sunday prompt, don’t worry if it’s not the sort of thing you want. Kind, soft old fashioned gentleman Steve looking after the reader when she’s having a particularly bad time of the month. I love that man so much and I adore how you write him.😍

Fair warning: this gets sweet but sooooooooo deep after the feels. I went overboard on the semi-angst because periods and (my) life sucks. Steve's just so magical, that bastard....

Hour seven of cramping and you contemplate just giving up and heading to bed. You look over to the clock.

20:23

No way. Too early. You can wait one hour more until another dose of painkiller.

Except now you're out of snacks and either have to watch only half a movie or search for a TV show.

There's a knock at the door, and why someone checking on you makes you want to cry is beyond you. You just do want to cry. You don't want to explain WWIII in your uterus; you want ice cream, dammit.

"I bought three kinds," Steve announces, using his foot to close up behind him, arms covered in grocery bags like a pack mule. "Four if you count the sandwiches."

When he finally looks up, he stalls seeing you curled into the couch, covered in thick blankets, a pillow squished harshly to your chest, and tears brimming in your eyes.

His eyes soften. "Hun," he whines, dropping his arms, "you could have texted me."

You shake your head before tucking it into the pillow. "Not gonna bother you," you mumble through fabric.

"That bad, huh?"

Steve doesn't need an answer though. He's speedy in the kitchen while you scroll absently through Netflix. You still have no clue what to watch.

He returns to your side with a bowl: one scoop of every flavor capped with an entire ice cream sandwich...minus one bite.

"Sorry," he winks, "boyfriend tax."

Steve's cute when he's cheeky, and he knows it.

"That's a big bite, mister."

He shrugs, simply adding, "inflation."

Another sharp pang hits you above the hip, one so brutal and deep you hiss. He asks about medicine, if you'd like hot tea or chocolate, and what else he can do. There's nothing. Just another pang before the other even recedes.

Concern falls off his face suddenly, and Steve holds up a finger before hurtling over the back of the couch.

He comes back but sits on the floor with his hand out. "Foot, please," he adds, brandishing a pair of your fuzziest socks.

"One sec," you groan and clutch the bowl tighter. You can't lift your leg until the cramp stops. You watch Steve school his face with patience instead of sadness.

Some months are worse than others, and Steve doesn't like unpredictable things. Even though he's patient. Even though he rolls with the punches. He will never get used to seeing his best girl in pain, and so most of the time, you hide it from him. You've trained yourself to play it off like it's nothing more than a temporary stomach ache, but this one is bad. You cannot play off this month.

You drank as much water as you could handle. You peed every twenty minutes and cleaned up every time as if it would matter. You want to shower every hour, but that would be just as useless. You'll feel gross and bloated no matter what.

You should feel so pampered and loved when Steve gently slips the soft sock over your heel. You should be happy beneath his gorgeous, blue, adoring gaze. You should not start crying into your confection. It's not salted caramel, for christ's sake. Get it together.

Which, of course, you can't do.

You can't stop any of it, and then you're happy you can't stop it because then he might stop. Somehow Steve only becomes more doting as you shovel ice cream in like air. He sneaks another bite of sandwich to make you smile. Somehow smiling makes the tears come faster. He peels away some blankets and the pillow, politely waiting until the spoon clinks against empty china. Somehow he wrestles you into his lap and hugs.

The firm grip he puts you in is soothing like a weighted blanket, tighter than you can wrap against your own gut, and it feels so good. He curls around you as you were curled in the cushions, a universal pressure, a universal peace.

"You want to watch a comedy or a nature documentary?" His voice rumbles against your back.

"Neither."

His chin pokes your cheek with a questioning hum.

"Tell me about your day," you reply, sighing, letting your whole self lean into Steve even though you feel swollen and grumpy.

He squeezes a little firmer around you, waiting to feel more tension drain from you. "Well, Sam complained that I was heavy again."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he had to lift me ten stories higher between buildings."

You scoff. "My god, how hard can it be?"

"I know, I know," he mutters, "I'm light as a feather. Practically lean."

"Yeah," you finally smile. "Go on. Have another ice cream sandwich, you skinny boy."

His chuckle rattles behind you. "Only if we can share...then I'm thinking a hot bath and more of this--" he cuddles up closer "--if you're game."

"Just a minute longer," you beg in a whisper before adding with more strength, "you still haven't told me about Sam and Bucky's latest tiff."

no one:

joseph david keery: ☺️✌🏻

Steve had always wanted a dog. He wanted to cuddle on the couch, tug of war with old socks, and play catch in the yard. Most of all, he wanted a friend that would love him unconditionally.

So when he and Eddie got their first rundown house on the edge of Hawkins, he wanted to get a dog. They had a yard, savings in the bank, and plenty of time to spare between Eddie’s gigs and Steve’s school. He wanted a dog.

Eddie, though, wanted a cat. He was never a huge dog-lover. He didn’t really like the way dogs seemed so attached to their humans, they were too needy. He wanted a cat that kept to itself 23 hours of the day before finding its favorite person for minimal scritches and pets before disappearing once again to be a cat.

They were at an impasse. Neither one was backing down and after a two day silence streak, they reached a compromise. They would get a dog. Eddie could be reasoned with on the condition that they got a golden retriever because if he got a dog, you better believe it was going to be Steve’s twin.

With his acceptance, Steve brought home a puppy and named her Cinnamon. In a need to wreak havoc however, Eddie called her Van Halen and she only ever answered to that.

Years later when Van Halen was fully trained, Steve got his revenge. Eddie brought home a cat named Ozzy and Steve saw his chance. He called her exclusively Cuddlebug and from then on, she only answered to that.

It was so much worth it, seeing the grimace and full-body sigh Eddie took whenever he called her name. He learned the hard way that Steve holds a mean grudge (and usually gets payback in unexpected ways).

Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary- Reader's first time meeting Steve

2.2K words

REQUEST ARE OPEN

Y/N scanned the halls for Nancy Wheeler, trying her best to keep her anxiety at bay. When she caught sight of her, she quickly shut her locker, walked up to the tiny girl, and waited for her to finish her conversation with Robin Buckley and Eddie Munson before she would say anything. She kept her eyes down on the floor, looking at the shoes the others were wearing.

"We'll catch you at Steve's tonight, Nance. Bye, Y/N!" Eddie said sweetly to Y/N, bringing said girl out of her head. She looked up just as the other two were leaving, flashing a tiny smile at them before turning to look at Nancy, who was already looking at her.

"Hi, Y/N. Did you need something?" Nancy asked her in a kind tone, looking into Y/N's eyes. A small smile graced her beautiful face, easing Y/N's nerves slightly. A small smile of her own fell onto Y/N's face just as she began to talk.

"Y-yeah. I was wondering if you would be willing to tutor me in math and chemistry? I'm just really having a hard time with everything since it's getting closer to midterms and I'm so worried I'm going to fail them and which would not look good on my applications to college, and I could just really use your help. I-I can pay you, if you want, too, probably not much but it would be better than not paying you because I'm taking up your time-" Y/N rambled but was cut off by a chuckling Nancy.

"Y/N, slow down! I'd be more than happy to help you out. You don't need to pay me. Do you want to start tonight?" Nancy asks, pulling out a piece of paper to write something down.

"Oh, um, I thought I heard Eddie say you were busy tonight. We can start tomorrow if you're free. I don't want to take you away from your friends if you already had plans." Y/N said, looking down just enough not to make eye contact with the other girl across from her.

"It's totally fine! Steve won't mind someone else coming along. It was just dinner and a couple games tonight anyway. We do this every Friday night, it's nothing special. I can go ask Steve right now if it would make you feel better?" Nancy asked, the same small smile from a few minutes ago coming back onto her face.

"Um, yeah. That would make me feel a lot better." Y/N said, following after Nancy on her walk to her station wagon in the parking lot.

Nancy unlocked to door, sliding in and grabbing a walkie-talkie from the glove box, pressing the call button down, and talking into it.

"Steve? It's Nancy. I have a question for you." She said. The radio crackled a few times before a voice was heard through it.

"Yeah, what's up, Nance?" The voice, Steve, Y/N was assuming, said on the other end.

"Y/F/N asked me today if I could help with her midterms, I said I could tonight but she doesn't want to impose on our family night tonight. Is it okay if I bring her along? I told her you would be fine with it but she just wants to make sure." Nancy explained into the radio, releasing the button when she was done talking.

"Of course it's fine! The more the merrier! What kind of pizza does she like? Or if she doesn't like pizza I could pick something else up for her. Does she have any dietary worries I should know about?" Steve asks in a cheery voice. Nancy looks over at Y/N with a big smile, asking her the same question. Y/N answers quietly for Nancy to tell him, then they're saying their goodbyes to each other. Nancy gets out of the car, smiling at Y/N again.

"Well, that settles it then! You'll come and hang out at Steve's house with us tonight and we'll study together. I'm helping Eddie with his midterms tonight as well so this works out great. I'll pick you up at, say, quarter to six at your house?" Nancy asks, getting a nod in return and a slip of paper with Y/N's address on it. "Great! I'll see you tonight Y/N!" Nancy says in a sweet voice before walking back into the school for her last class of the day.

~*~

Y/N switched her sweater out for the third time tonight, deciding on a simple Hawkins High Swim sweatshirt just as she heard Nancy honk her car horn from the driveway, telling her she was waiting for her. Y/N quickly checked her outfit one last time, deciding it would have to be good enough now. When she had gotten home, she quickly took a shower to wash the day off of her and changed into a pair of light wash, baggy jeans, and now, after changing so many times, a sweatshirt. Her hair had been towel dried so it had a little bit of curl to it, falling over her shoulders and down her back. Y/N threw her backpack on and rushed out the door, telling her parents not to wait up for her tonight.

"Hey! We just need to make one stop before we head to Steve's place, I hope that's okay." Nancy said when Y/N got into the car. She nodded her head, putting her bag down at her feet and putting her seatbelt on. 

Once the car stopped at the Henderson's place and said boy made it into the car, Nancy directed them to Steve's house, Y/N could feel her anxiety ramping up slightly. She had never been to Steve Harrington's house before. She had no reason to be at his house in the past. She wasn't really a party type of girl, she preferred to stay at home, reading a book or watching a movie. Not to mention the major crush she had on the Harrington's only child. I mean, who didn't?

Nancy slowly pulled into a large driveway, cutting the engine off before getting out of the car and following the boys up to the door. Y/N took a deep breath just as she got to the front door, following after Nancy into the house and slipping her Vans off, setting them next to Nancy's shoes. 

Y/N could hear loud talking and laughing coming from the living room, which she slowly walked into. The laughing and talking cut off when she walked in, everyone staring at her. Y/N could see Eddie and Robin smile brightly at her, making her feel only a tiny bit better, but not much considering eight other sets of eyes on her. Y/N's eyes gravitate toward the ground until she hears a familiar voice come into the room.

"Okay, I just ordered the pizzas, guy said it would be about half an hour before they got here. What are you all looking at?" Steve asked, turning his head toward the entry to the living room from the front door and stairs. "Oh, you must be Y/N?" He asks, smiling gently at her. 

"Y-yeah, that's me. Sorry to crash your party, Nancy said it would be okay for me to come. But I'll stay out of everyone's hair, I'm just here to study with Nancy." Y/N said quietly, trying her best to hold eye contact with Steve, but failing miserably.

"No, you didn't crash anything! I told Nancy that you're more than welcome to hang out with us!" Steve said with a sweet smile on his face. "Oh, um, I'm Steve, you already know Robin and Eddie, but that's Johnathan. And those gremlins are Max, Jane, Erica, Dustin, Mike, Will, and Lucas." Steve introduced everyone in the room to the newcomer, turning back to her when he finished. Everyone gave a small wave and smile, then went back to their earlier conversations. "You're welcome to come in and make yourself comfortable. I've set up the far end of the dining table for you, Nance, and Eddie whenever you're ready to start studying." Steve said, pointing in the general direction of the dining room. Y/N nodded her head, walking further into the room, only after Nancy walked in.

"Eddie, I think Y/N and I are going to start studying if you want to join us. I know how much you love to play the games with everyone so it would probably be a good idea to study before dinner gets here so you can still play after. That sound okay?" Nancy asked the metalhead, to which he nodded his head, grabbing his bag from next to him and walking off to the dining room. Nancy and Y/N followed him, seeing where Steve set up a place for them. He had pens, pencils, and highlighters sitting in the middle with a pencil sharpener off to the side slightly. Y/N smiled at the thought that Steve made sure they had everything they needed before they got started. "Okay, why don't we start with math? You're in the same math class, I believe, yes?" Nancy asked, earning a nod from the other two.

Y/N pulled out her math notebook and textbook, flipping to the page the teacher assigned them to, and started on the problems on the page.

For the next twenty minutes, Y/N, Nancy, and Eddie worked on the math problems their teacher had given them for the weekend, Nancy occasionally helping the two of them when they asked for it. Just as Y/N was getting to the second page of math equations, Steve walked in with several boxes of pizza, setting them on the dining table, and yelling for everyone to come and get it. Before Y/N could even put her pencil back down on her paper to keep writing, everyone came rushing into the room, throwing the pizza boxes open and grabbing their slices of dinner, Nancy and Eddie among those getting food.

"Are you going to come get some Y/N?" Nancy asked, looking over to said girl, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, uh, yeah just give me a few minutes to finish this problem." Y/N said, giving the others a small smile. She looked back down at the textbook once she got a nod from Nancy.

Half an hour later, Y/N was still working on her math, with no food on a plate in front of her. She was startled from her concentration when Steve sat down next to her, placing a plate in front of her with three pieces of pizza on it, a smile on his face.

"I noticed you never got up for dinner and wanted to save some for you before the gremlins picked over everything." He said, pointing to the plate between the two of them.

"Oh, um, thank you." Y/N said quietly, blushing slightly.

Steve just gave her a big grin before looking down at her sweatshirt. "Are you on the swim team? I was the captain for three years including my senior year." Steve said with a proud smile.

"Oh, um, no. My older brother was on the team all four years of school. His name was Carter, he really thought you were cool. Looked up to you a lot." Y/N explained with a smile of her own on her lips.

"Oh, yeah I know Carter. But I thought your last name was Y/L/N. The back of the sweatshirt says Wentworth." Steve says, a confused look taking over his face. Y/N couldn't help but chuckle slightly at how cute he was.

"It is. He took our stepdad's last name when our mom remarried, I kept my dad's name. Never liked my step-family much."

"Ah, makes sense. Your brother was pretty cool. I knew he had a little sister but I had no idea she was so cute and shy." Steve said, the same smile from before gracefully falling onto his face once more. Y/N smiled down at her homework again, a fierce blush taking over her cheeks.

"I'm not so much as shy, it's just my anxiety. And I'm not cute." She said, the last one more to herself than to Steve.

"Oh come on. You're very cute. Don't sell yourself short there, sweetheart." Steve said, trying to convince the girl in front of him. "Well, everyone is getting antsy to start playing a few games so why don't you come join us? Take a break from your work and have some fun, get to know everyone." Steve said, standing from his spot at the table.

"Oh, no that's fine. I don't want to intrude on your game night. It's enough that you're feeding me. I don't want to step on anyone's toes." Y/N said, shaking her head and dropping the easy smile that was on her plump lips.

"I already told you that you didn't intrude or ruin anything. Max and Jane were pestering me to come in here and get you to play some games with us. They're excited to meet you and pull you into this little rag-tag group we have," Steve said, a blush starting to creep up on his face. "And I was hoping to get to know you a bit better, maybe ask you out on a date?" He asked, the blush fully taking over his face by now. It was pretty cute.

"Okay, but only because I was promised a date from Steve Harrington. I'll hold you to that, I hope you know that." Y/N joked, smiling as a grin broke out on Steve's face.

"Yeah! We can hash out the details before you leave tonight!" Steve said excitedly. Y/N smiled up at him, following him out of the dining room and to the packed living room.

Warmth | S. R. | oneshot

Mature | Steve Rogers x Chronically Ill Reader

I’ll take care of you, he had said then. I love you. I always will. On the bad days and the good ones.

AUTHOR MASTERLIST | AUTHOR AO3

Established relationship, married couple, romance, fluff & hurt/comfort, angst with a happy/hopeful ending. Reader is good friends with Bucky and Nat.

Word Count: 1,771 words.

Reader Specifics: She/her. Mid-to-late twenties. Has a chronical illness that causes pain and fatigue, no specific diagnosis mentioned. Married to Steve. No description of appearance (other than clothes and such), no use of Y/N.

Warnings: Themes of chronic pain & illness, and the feelings that such conditions may cause, including self-worth and self-esteem issues.

I do not own anything Marvel related. This is an unofficial fan work. No copyright infringement intended. This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.

You get close.

The base of the batter is done, butter and chocolate melted, instant coffee and sugars mixed into it, milk and eggs and vanilla extract poured into the bowl. The kitchen of the Tower floor you and Steve share is downright indulgent, spacious enough that you can spread everything out and you try to work fast enough before being up becomes too much to bear. You manage to ignore the nagging tingling of your body, the slow burning that goes in waves from knees all the way to your chest.

You grind your teeth, focus on the task at hand.

Just as you’re about to start sifting in the flour-cocoa mixture, the first red-hot knife sinks into your stomach. You yelp, even as you knew it was coming, and with the second strike of the blade, you drop down to crouch next to the kitchen counter, squeezing the edge of the counter with both hands, fingers cramping from the grip.

Eyes closed, you wait as the pain drums through your body with every heartbeat, nerves aflame with lightning, muscles contracting and releasing. You try to breathe through it, squeeze your eyelids together to keep the tears at bay.

That’s where Steve finds you.

It doesn’t alarm him like it used to; he no longer drops a bag of groceries down when he sees you like this. Instead, he sets it gently down next to the fridge and steps closer, kneeling down on the floor next to you. His warm palm slides over the back of your dress.

“You were supposed to rest, darling,” he scolds gently.

You glare at him with tear-filled eyes, but the anger melts away when you see the worry on his face. That has stayed, even as he has learned that anything like this is not inherently dangerous.  

“I wanted to bake. I was craving mud cake and the store-bought just never hits the right spot.”

“I would’ve baked for you,” he sighs.

“I don’t want you to bake for me! I want to be able to do things myself. I want this stupid goddamn body to fucking function like it should be,” you snap, regretting the bite in your voice the second the words have left your mouth.

“I know,” he says. “I know how it is. I know how much it sucks.”

And he does. It is almost impossible to remember that sometimes, after watching footage of him yanking helicopters out of the sky, but once, this was his life  too.

“Yeah, the difference being that you’re no longer pathetic,” you mumble.

“You are not pathetic. It’s just a rough patch,” he says.

He knows where it’s coming from.

You still remember the time you got your diagnosis, how you told Steve that you should break off the engagement, that you didn’t expect him to hitch his wagon to this. You went as far as sleeping on Nat’s sofa for a week, and then Bucky forced himself through the door and sat you down and looked at you with eyes full of Winter Soldier steel.

You really think he can’t take this, huh? If there’s one person who understands how it feels to be in pain and helpless, one person that will know why you’re full of frustration and anger at times, it’s Steve Rogers, he had said.

It’s not about what he can take. It’s about what he deserves, and what I don’t, you had grumbled in response, desperately not trying to show how much you missed sleeping in Steve’s warm arms at night.

So he wasn’t worthy of being loved and taken care of when he was sick and incapacitated and chronically ill? Would you love him any less if the serum fell out of him and he went back to that state?

Of course not. But that’s different.

How’s that different?

Because you are a fucking asshole, Bucky Barnes, you had spat, knowing that to resort to ad hominem was to admit defeat.

Oh, I am, he had grinned. But right now, I am the fucking asshole who is right.

And he had been precisely that. Steve had welcomed you back with open arms, and you had cried against his chest until you had felt like you could breathe again, until the words ‘chronic’ and ‘illness’ didn’t feel like they were sucking all the air out of your lungs.

I’ll take care of you, he had said then. I love you. I always will. On the bad days and the good ones.

You know that. You know Steve Rogers makes no such promises if he doesn’t mean them, but sometimes it isn’t the same to know something on a rational level and accept it emotionally. On some days, you are full of pain-sharpened thorns and god, you just want to prick something that is beautiful, want to wallow in the self-pity and despise any light that tries to reach your darkness.

“Help you to bed?” he asks, and you don’t want to, but you nod nevertheless.

He lifts you up. It’s spring; he’s been out in simply a button-down and slacks, and you can feel his warmth through the cotton as he holds you against his chest. At least this part was easy. At least you knew that taking care of you wasn’t straining his body.

You’ve done what you can to make the apartment into an oasis of peace, and the bedroom is no exception. The bed is huge, filled with soft sheets and a pile of pillows that can be moved to allow you to rest as comfortably as possible. Steve sets you down on your side and sheds the clothes he’s been outside in before getting into bed next to you. You groan at the feeling of his body, covered only by the boxer briefs, pressing against your back, warm and relaxing like a furnace.

“You’re the best heating pad in the world,” you manage to smile, snuggling deeper into his embrace as your muscles start to relax.

He chuckles against your neck and presses a kiss to the back of your neck. Lying down, as much as you hate to admit, always seems to make a wave of relief flow through your body, muscles relaxing. Steve’s palm smooths over your side, stroking again and again, and the relaxation deepens, seeps into every muscle.

“The oven’s on,” you mumble, as he makes no attempt to move. “The groceries you brought are still in the kitchen.”

In response, he rucks up your dress and places his palm over your stomach, and you can’t help but groan at the relief of the warmth.

“I’m on heating pad duty,” he says. “Those can wait.”

You sigh, despite the smile on your face.

“I really thought I had enough spoons. It was better today, until it wasn’t.”

“It’s okay. It’s not always predictable.”

It’s not. And he knows that’s the worst part of it.

“I wanted you to come home to something nice.”

“I come home to you every day.”

“Flatterer,” you say, but despite the words, you entwine your fingers into his on top of your stomach.

Your wedding rings make a small clink when they touch his. It had been a longer engagement than you had initially planned; you had wanted to make sure he wasn’t marrying you just because of duty, just because he felt like he should, now that he knew you were going to battle with this for the rest of your life. He had countered that with the argument that he had proposed to you even before he had known anything about this, when your illness had still masked itself into bouts of tiredness.

He had convinced you. Your wedding portrait, Steve lifting you up and spinning you around, hangs above your bed, and even on the worst of days, looking at it brings a smile to your face.

Bucky had cried through the entire ceremony.

“Do you want me to get your meds?” Steve asks.

“I already took them; can’t take more right now. Lot of good that did.”

“Hey,” comes the whisper against your neck.

The tears that have barely dried escape your eyes again. Steve feels you tense and kisses the back of your neck again, the hand on you pulling you closer against him.

“I feel so useless,” you say. “Everyone’s so nice to me; I’m everyone’s stupid charity project.”

He has heard all of this before; this conversation comes every time you are going through a rough patch, and every time, his answers are full of patience and love.

God, what have you done to deserve him?

“Or they’re your friends – our friends. They like you. You are more than this, even though it doesn’t feel like that right now. You are plenty of things outside this illness. And I love you, for reasons that have nothing to do with whether or not you’re useful.”

“And you’re the stubborn dumbass who married himself into this mess.”

“I’m definitely both,” he says. “But neither of those have anything to do with the fact that I married you. And the doctor told you to rest, so who’s the stubborn one here?”

“Hypocrite,” you say. “Bucky has certainly told me how good you were at resting up, huh?”

You hear the chagrinned laugh and know the expression on his face. He mumbles something about how he really needs to get Bucky to stop telling stories about his youth to you, if they are just going to be used against him.

“Too late,” you say.

The tiredness is creeping over you again; being up in the middle of a bad flare-up has taken more out of you than you care to admit, and Steve’s closeness has taken all the bitter fight that had remained after the energy had drained out.

“I know it’s hard to rest when it doesn’t feel like rest is making any difference,” he says. “But you still should.”

You want to fight him, but your eyelids are falling closed as his warmth has filled your every crampy muscle and tight tendon.

“I love you,” he whispers into your ear. “Sleep well, beautiful.”

“Loveyatoo,” you mumble in response, the safety of his presence nudging you over the edge of consciousness and into sleep.

An hour later, you wake up to the scent of freshly-baked mud cake floating through the apartment and smile into the room, feeling like you could go for a big slice and a nice cup of coffee, sitting across from Steve and listening to him talk about his day.

Even in a rough patch, it’s not all bad.