I Feel Like I've Consumed And Produced Too Much Phantom Busters Content In The Past Week. I'm Starting

People jumping ship from tiktok as if it's just gonna disappear off their phones

Sabo: loneliness, connection and affection

Trying to organise my thoughts on this matter hehe

I just thought that Sabo's relationship with loneliness and connection are very interesting, and not much people talk about how terribly lonely his childhood days were(even compared to Ace&Luffy).

Ace has been alienated from people from the beginning. Raised in the middle of the jungle, by bandits who never showed much affection, and who repeated the same hurtful words as others did. The state of loneliness is the norm for him. He has never known any other life. Naturally, he'd be protective of what little he has(Sabo) and reluctant to open up and accept new connections(Luffy).

As for Luffy, he has been left alone. Shanks left him after a year staying at Windmill village. Garp constantly took him out of his regular life only to leave him alone in the jungle. And he as well took him away from the village and Makino, after he ate his devil fruit. And while he didn't have [present] parents, he had been cared for. Luffy knows the difference between loneliness and companionship. Which is why he chased Ace's recognition so much.

Sabo's situation is more similar to Luffy's.

But do you ever think that Sabo loved his parents? That he wanted them to love him too? He wouldn't have drawn them if he didn't. He wouldn't be so disheartened at their dismissal if he hated them from the start. But his parents made their love conditional. Sabo had to earn their love and his happiness, while they ignored his pain and attempts to connect. 

And as you know this kind of relationship could leave a lasting impact on how one navigates their future relationships! But on that later😊

Now, Sabo ran away and that opened a whole other can of worms. He's a child, that for five years didn't have anyone to rely on. Of course, Ace was with him, but after he left for the day, Sabo was left completely alone. I mean, at least Ace had Dadan and occasionally Makino and Garp, they shared meals together, he could turn to them in case something happened and they provided him with company and a roof above his head. Sabo lived on the Gray Terminal by himself, in a place where people considered him either a troublemaker to avoid, or a pest to get rid of (those like pirates and bandits). So through Ace and Luffy Sabo gains not only brothers but also other connections and people who care about him! And he welcomes both Dadan and Makino with a bright smile :) Now that I think about it, just like Ace told him about Luffy, he also must've told Sabo about them too🥹

And while all this is nice, his previous problems didn't go away magically. 

(… But his issues aren't stated or shown as explicitly as Ace and Luffy's, so they are easier to dismiss.)

Even though Sabo trusted Ace with his life, he still kept his origins a secret from him, whether it was because he felt them insignificant compared to Ace's or because he feared abandonment in case Ace would be disappointed. And he was more than willing to keep his secret until the very end - Luffy&Ace literally had to beat(strangle) the truth out of him. Sabo also put distance between them in another way too: Ace thought the two of them would sail together, Sabo didn't.

That is honestly also a point to how controlling his parents were. Sabo wanted freedom so much that he didn't mind the loneliness that came with it. Well, he got what he wanted ;) 

Now it would be easy to say that his amnesia also erased his trauma. But it didn't! Sabo still felt hid parents' influence. (And unlike the other weird amnesia case (the sea sure likes to take people's memories huh) - Big Mom - he didn't revert to his younger self, he only lost access to his memories, his feelings and 'character development' remained). If anything it only led to Sabo not being able to identify the cause of his issues → not being able to treat them properly. Now, the RA seem like decent guys, they very well could be the needed support system for Sabo, but again, it's an army with a whole lot of other issues to deal with. So either way his trauma most likely was allowed to fester for a while as we see its consequences show in his adulthood. 

Even though Sabo seems to be doing well as an adult, there's still some signs of emotional distance. He has never reciprocated a hug, even though he doesn't have a problem with physical touch in general, he didn't even think about approaching Luffy in Dressrosa at first and was very tense when actually talking to him. And it's honestly fascinating just how stiff his body language was in Dressrosa (maybe I'll talk about it in general some other time) - be it shock or anger he keeps his arms to his body, unlike Koala or Hack, who choose violence.

He also showed barely any reaction during Vegapunk's speech despite the panelling focusing on him specifically. I'd say he mostly keeps his negative emotions in check, bc in Robin's little flashback he was quite expressive! The main counterpoint is 'special Luff' where he is very open about his anger, but he has a really decent reason for it: his feelings being made fun of. And as you'll see later it's a very sensitive topic for him →

To begin with, he avoids talking about things that have emotionally impacted him in any way.

1.This one might be a stretch, but he begins to talk about his encounter with Fujitora, only not to say anything in the end, idk what's wrong with him; 2. After a very emotional fight with Burgess Sabo dismisses any worries without even mentioning the fight; 3. He refuses to talk with Hack about Luffy, even though we know that he loves to yap about him to Dragon. And that is right after he didn't want to wake Luffy up to even say goodbye! He also changes the topic quickly so Karasu wouldn't be able to further question him.

Even though these scenes are played as gags, he really seems to have trouble with emotional intimacy and opening up about his feelings. And that makes him seem inattentive and irresponsible, thus affecting his relationships with others even more… 

And speaking of which, he is accustomed with either suppressing his feelings or at least just keeping them in check. He hides his worries from his colleagues, appearing as cheerful as always. And during his meeting with Dragon and Iva he brushes aside his guilt and grief for king Kobra (but, I mean it's a work meeting, they need to be professional) and never once he acknowledges his injuries.

And if he's willing to disregard such a thing as grief, how do you think he really feels about his new title, which was gained by the blood of a man he failed to save?

And frankly, right now we don't know much about Sabo! We know about his childhood, and the way he presents himself now(and that is some material to work with), but the 12 years in the Revolutionary Army are a mystery, and again it's an army, I bet he's seen many things, especially considering how high his position is!

tldr: like Luffy, Sabo has a special relationship with loneliness and abandonment. But unlike Luffy, who especially in pre-ts hated separation, Sabo pushes people away. And what makes it even harder for others to connect with him, is that he tends to hide his feelings and problems.

(like a cat)

but again, I might be reading something wrong, my bad

"I never thought he'd take us back to 1929," sobs woman who thought she was only voting for someone who'd take us back to 1950

In honor of me flying back tomorrow (i have to wake up at 3:20 am😭), here's a room tour bc my room is always the thing I miss the most

+some of my favorite items in my room

ASL being the three primary colors and Ace being red but wearing orange (A mix of his red and Luffy's yellow) but hardly any blue, signifying how he's become who he is specifically because of Luffy's presence and Sabo's absence -- how the loss of Sabo forced Ace to dedicate himself more fully to Luffy and learn to gentle himself in a way he didn't need to when Sabo was around being the nice brother, how losing Sabo and keeping Luffy softening Ace is literally represented in the removal of deeper blues and the addition of brighter yellows literally pushing Ace's red into a softer and brighter orange.

Luffy turning Primary Colors into his entire palette -- the blue shorts and red vests and Shanks's yellow straw hat -- but his color scheme usually being overwhelmed by either red or blue. Usually red, his vests and the band on his hat, because Ace is the one who raised Luffy and trained Luffy and had the greatest impact on who Luffy has become, but Luffy wears blue in moments when he's acting as a liberator or otherwise behaving in ways that tie into Sabo, most notably when he assaults the Celestial Dragon in Sabody; part of the group of people responsible for Luffy losing his blue Sabo in the first place, and a symbol of everything Sabo hated and fought against (everything Sabo is still fighting against, though Luffy doesn't know that.) Marineford is the first time we see Luffy properly draped in Yellow, signifying how he isn't there as a pirate or a captain but as Ace's little brother, as a member of the ASL brotherhood, as the yellow in their primary triad.

Meanwhile Sabo only wears blue because he is not a member of their brotherhood -- because he has lost his brothers in such a fundamental way that he doesn't even realize he ever had brothers to lose. He was so focused on getting away from Goa kingdom that he never realized there were people back there he was leaving behind, so there's no blending of color for Sabo like there is for Ace and Luffy. While the two of them have found ways to merge and meld and move forward, keeping Sabo (or at least the absence of Sabo) as core and prominent parts of their identities, Sabo in his blue is all alone.

Tw: minor gore, fake body!!

Nobody on tiktok liked this edit, so I had to post it here as well. Are there any other MIA fans out there, or have you all been taken by the Curse of the Abyss??

cowabummer, man

Yeah this is what the Mark Jennings/Ponyboy friendship is to me

Don't think I posted this here yet but here's a 2012 Mikey and Leo doodle and then 2007 Mikey

Bro why is my own fanfiction and headcanons actually making me sad. Like the idea that tamon never would have known for sure that he wasn't just hearing things and that ghosts actually were real. Sure, he could hear them, but he never had anyone else to confirm that what he was hearing was ghosts and not just figments of his imagination. Same with kanzaki. Neither really would have had confirmation until they met the other Phantom Busters, and they finally could know that they weren't just hallucinating. Especially because both of them were implied to have been bullied or ostracized in some ways, it could have been due to the fact that people figured out they could sense things in some way and thought they were crazy. Growing up and having no way to dispute that would have been so demoralizing. Not only did they find friends in each other but also proof that they weren't crazy