Today Is Traditionally Henley Monday. It's Usually A Day For Just A Little Bit Of Good-looking Distraction

We're having a slight delay on this week's recap due to technical and personal (mental) problems! Please enjoy this video of Tom Hiddleston singing and talking about Captain Hook to tide you over.

Henley Monday -

So it looks like my cries to make the day after the Super Bowl a national holiday went unheard. A girl can dream right? And as I sit here today with the remains of heartburn and general indigestion, more than ever I feel compelled to avail us with Henley Monday.

And today, a henley clad man for the ages, Kit Harrington aka Jon Snow on HBO's GAME OF THRONES. His stare is enough to melt a whole right through the Wall and blast a White Walker right to glittery dust. Keep your heads up everyone, Jon Snow does know SOMETHING: how to look sexy. Boom.

The Bachelor - Episode 9 Recap

This season has flown by. I might say that every season, butit feels truer than ever here with Chris. Perhaps it’s because he’s so boringor because the women aren’t really that into him or because they didn’t goabroad and the dates were really boring. It could be a combination of all those factors resulting one dramatic, yet simultaneously, uneventful season.

For all the sound a fury signifying nothing it took to get us here, we’re at the Fantasy Suite dates already. The show has finally sprung for a trip overseas, and we find our remaining three ladies and Farmer Chris in beautiful Bali. Chris says it’s very far away from Iowa, and I’d have to agree here. Indonesia and Iowa are very far apart on the globe.

Kaitlyn is up first for her date. They start by going into a temple and are taught some traditional ceremonies by a group of women in the most beautifully colored clothing. After the temple, they walk around the streets and drink a beer, have fun with the locals. Chris loves that Kaitlyn is at ease everywhere and always seems to have fun in any situation.

Cut to the two of them walking into a monkey “sanctuary” (I use that word VERY lightly), where they are giving tiny bananas to feed to the dozens of monkeys all around. Chris gets pounced on immediately by several monkeys vying for his banana, and I can’t help but see that as a beautiful metaphor for this whole process.

“I really like to think I’m this tough person who can handle whatever comes my way, but not if it’s a monkey,” quips Kaitlyn. She’s having a rough go of it here at Monkey Sanctuary. The humidity of a tropical climate is not agreeing with her hair. She even makes a pained metaphor for how the monkeys fear for nothing in going after what they want (thanks to their habitat being destroyed and becoming dependent on human tourists for food), and she wishes she could be like that too. Ugh, Kaitlyn, I thought I could at least count on you to make the same penis joke I made, but alas, this show has gotten to you.

After making out in front of some cool trees, Kaitlyn regales Chris with how much her whole family loved him. Kaitlyn is trying to open up as much as possible because she doesn’t want Chris to worry that she has a guard up.

As we transition into the dinner portion of the date, we finally get our first shot of a stray cat this season! Those producers must have been dying being trapped in the States where we just don’t have as many stray animals to add humor to establishing shots.

At dinner Chris asks why Kaitlyn feels she has a guard up. Would you look at that? She does her best to answer him truthfully that it’s hard to feel so vulnerable in this situation. They blather on about vulnerability and “putting yourself out there” for a few more minutes before finally getting to the Fantasy Suite card.

She accepts it immediately. Chris agrees that they “deserve” it. Do they? I guess they do. I think the sexual chemistry between these two is undeniable, but I am still unsure as to whether their “emotional connection” can withstand the desolate wrath of Arlington, Iowa.

The producers get the money shot when Kaitlyn finally gets the words out that she is “falling in love” with Chris! Oh the relief on their faces. However, Chris counters that statement by telling Kaitlyn that HE TOO is falling in love with her! Now. THIS IS HUGE. I was under the impression that he is contractually obligated NOT to say anything like that to the women until his final rose. That’s why it’s always such a big deal that everybody feels insecure and doesn’t know where they stand at the end because they’ve said, “I love you,” and heard nothing in return. This could be a source of drama down the road, especially if he doesn’t end up choosing Kaitlyn.

Next up on the Fantasy Dates is Whitney. Whitney is a few steps ahead of Kaitlyn as she has already revealed that she is straight up in love with Chris. They meet to have their date on a boat. I love this. I’m never jealous of helicopter rides or private concerts from C list country stars, but I am always, always jealous of private boat rides in a tropical locale. Hell, I’d settle for a boat ride on the Missouri River. I just love boats. So tuck that little nugget away in your mental file folder of Stuff Cassie Loves.

They set sail on the Indian Ocean in a truly majestic sail boat to talk about love and their feelings. Whitney hopes to address and smooth over the fact that her sister did not give her “full” blessing for her hand in marriage. Whitney is also very calm, cool, and collected about her feelings.

“I’ve never felt so ready or sure about anything in my whole life,” she says. She’s also rocking quite the tan. Bali has been good to her.

When the subject of her sister comes up, Whitney does a wonderful job explaining how Kimberly really did a big part in raising her and is very protective. But Chris gets it. They kiss a bunch after he tells her not to worry about that and that Kimberly didn’t change his feelings for her at all.

“I feel confident that I’m going to marry Chris,” Whitney beams to camera. And I don’t doubt that she feels that. I think she’s the front runner right now, but guys, how many times have I been wrong in the past? All the time. I’m almost always wrong about who the final pick is.

At dinner, Whitney is wearing this great neon yellow maxi dress. I covet it. Chris wants to take this opportunity to talk to Whitney about the reality of moving to Arlington with her job. He deeply respects how hard she’s worked for her job and how passionate she is, so he just wants to make sure he’s not asking too much of her.

He really lays it all out there as far as how small Arlington is: how there’s nothing to do there, how you have to drive to somewhere else to do anything. He refers to it as his “biggest insecurity in this.” That’s fair because wow is it a deal breaker. I mean aside from Chris being as interesting as the empty box of Wheat Thins on my lap, Arlington is a real no-go.

“I’ve worked so hard to get where I am, but I’ve always wanted to be a mom and be a wife. And my mom taught me that sometimes, even when you are those things, it doesn’t work out. So you need to have something to fall back on. So I have this career, but I’m not fully happy...So if I moved to Arlington, I would leave my career…And I would want to start having babies, and that would be my career,” Whitney explains to Chris. Chris beams the biggest stupid smile ever when she explains that having babies would be her career, and I want to DIE. COME ON, WHITNEY.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a mother and wanting to put your full focus and time into that. Whitney is well aware that you can be many things as a woman. HOWEVER, saying “having babies would be my career” IS THE WORST. It sounds so backwards and wrong. Ugh. We are not baby factories.

“It’s not where you are. It’s who you’re with,” concludes Whitney.

Chris tells the cameras that if things continue as they are going, he could definitely see himself proposing to Whitney. And with that, they head right into the Fantasy Suite. It’s so Plush Ass. These Fantasy Suites are the only true Plush Ass Suites there have been this season.

Becca’s turn, y’all! Becca is, once again, stunningly beautiful here in Bali. She’s very nervous about the Fantasy Suite because she hasn’t yet told Chris about how she is waiting until marriage to have sex. Chris is worried about the fact that Becca has never been in love before because he really wants to come away from the show and have a relationship work. And certainly that’s a rational fear that just because someone hasn’t been in love before that they couldn’t figure it out and make a relationship work. Certainly. Certainly.

For their date, they are a walking around a gorgeous agricultural village. Chris is explaining farming and irrigation to Becca and is generally awe inspired by how these people farm in a way that “we” haven’t in hundreds of years.

And then, Becca and Chris go into a temple to meet with The Medium of the Village. So they can ask him about their future and have it foretold unto them. Wow! First Ziporah and now the Village Medium! If any Bachelor needs to mystics and mediums to spice things up, it’s Chris! They ask him questions like “Are we meant to be together?” and “Will Chris be a good dad one day?” and then Chris asks, “What’s her biggest weakness?”

The Medium of the Village responds (through an adorable translator), “She’s hard to control.” Which, I like that. I’m a wild mustang! But also, does he need to control her? No. He does not.

We get a real comedic moment, when, hoo boy get ready for how funny this is, Becca asks for advice for their important date tonight and the only thing that really gets translated is “making love.” Wow. Hilarious. I can barely type I’m laughing so hard. Sex between consenting adults is HIGH STAKES COMEDY.

“I’m glad he brought that up. I was just not thinking about it,” Becca jokes to camera. That’s actually a bit of a funny reaction from her which I appreciate. Becca has not really been shown that much despite her being all the way at the end here.

Becca continues to worry about telling Chris that she is a virgin and waiting until marriage before the Fantasy Suite tonight. She’s wearing a saffron yellow dress that is so short it flounces out from underneath her as she sits for dinner.

Chris loved her family and can see a future with her but is still worried that because she’s never been in love, she can’t get to that point with Chris. Ugh. This is such a non-issue. I mean, this show requires you to get to an advanced point quickly, so that’s fair in Bachelor World. But still, just let her get there on her own.

They address just that as Becca reveals that she believes she really is falling in love with Chris. She is also wary of moving to Arlington until she’s 100% sure that she wants to be Chris’s wife and spend forever with him. So those go hand in hand and satisfy both of Chris’s main concerns about her.

Right after this reveal of love, Chris busts out the Fantasy Suite invite. Becca takes a dramatic pause to think it over and explains to camera what her reservations are. She’s is worried that Chris will not be ok with her decision, and she’s also worried about the fact that there will be temptation in the Fantasy Suite.

“I’m not naïve to that,” she says, regarding the things that go on in the Fantasy Suite. In the end, she decides to accept the invitation in order to spend even more time with Chris.

Chris is excited to get to know Becca on a “whole other level, a level of intimacy that hasn’t been allowed.” Oh Chris, you poor, poor man. And your poor, poor boner.

After they explore the amazing Fanstasy Suite, Becca sits him down to have a frank conversation about her decision to wait until marriage to have sex. She explains that she wants him to be honest about his feelings and to be straightforward about what she’s about to tell him.

I really admire the way Becca has played this entire situation and especially the way she is telling Chris about it. With Ashley I., it was a big dramatic thing and something that you could tell she was very self-conscious of. Which is why the way she told Chris was awkward, uncomfortable, and self-conscious.

Becca on the other hand, while nervous, is confident about this fact and is standing by her convictions. I respect that. She tells Chris that it’s something very important to her.

“It’s a big part of who I am…it’s something that I want to talk about and not just kind of skim over. But I am a virgin,” Becca says.

Chris exhales deeply and then composes one of signature eloquent speeches, “Um, I am glad that you…and I…it’s never easy to respond to that kind of stuff. But I respect that in a lot of ways…it surprises me, and uh, I think says a lot of who you are and,” Chris explains, “I’m really more interested in figuring out if this could work.”

Becca thinks Chris’s response was perfect. Well, it was a good enough response. And although I can feel the disappointment that he doesn’t get to have sex with Becca radiating off his sweaty forehead, he takes it reasonably well. Again, though, as if he could respond poorly to that and not get skewered and roasted for it?

But the next day, Chris says that the overnight date with Becca was wonderful and that he’s falling in love with her. However, when they woke up together, they had a conversation about their future that left Chris feeling more confused than ever. He doesn’t know what to do because now he has to send either Becca or Kaitlyn, “or even Whitney” he adds as a hasty correction, home. Yeah, you’re not sending Whitney home, you dolt. Whitney was created in a lab to be the perfect contestant on this show.

Chris is just very conflicted about who he’s going to send home tonight. He gets emotional when he talks about how badly he wants all these women to meet his family. Oh Chris, you’ll figure it out. He sits down with Chrarrison to sort this all out. Chrarrison is amazed that Chris feels so strongly for all the women. He’s most nervous about Becca because she is not in the same advanced place emotionally and is also not as willing to pick up her life and moving to Arlington.

However, Chris feels so strongly about Becca and her family that he could see her being the one for him. He also feels that way about Kaitlyn. He also feels great about Whitney, although he’s all but confirmed that her rose is the only one he’s certain about.

In order to put as strange a filter on this rose ceremony as possible, they gather for the Rose Ceremony at one of the most sacred temples in Bali. There are very strict rules about no kissing and ladies with shoulders covered etc. Everyone is dressed in a kind of traditional way with Chris in white and the ladies in bright colors. They actually look quite lovely.

After Chris makes a speech about how grateful he feels to be there with all of them, he asks to speak to Becca. What results is a conversation where Becca reconfirms what we heard last night about her falling in love with him and that being why she’s still there. She also explains that she could move to Arlington.

And with that we cut to Kaitlyn who really feels that he’s telling Becca good-bye. She feels guilty for feeling happy that someone else is going home, but she’s excited that she could get to the end with Chris.

Smash-cut to Chris and Becca walking back into the ceremony area hand-in-hand. Whitney is surprised because she feels that Becca is very different from her.

“I think she’s young. I think she lacks life experience, and I don’t know if she’s ready for this,” Whitney explains. I agree 100%. I think Chris is getting wrapped up in the romance of the show with Becca. She’s not a realistic choice.

As he picks up the first rose, the dramatic music crescendos. He calls Whitney first. Obviously. And then that last rose goes to…BECCA. IT’S BECCA YOU GUYS. HOLY CRAP. I was mostly not expecting that. He’s such an idiot.

Kaitlyn is very hurt and visibly shaken. Becca tries to reach out a hand to her, and Kaitlyn declines it. Like a boss.

They make the very long walk out of the temple so Chris can finally hug her and tell her he’s sorry. Kaitlyn asks what happened, and Chris just talks about how hard it was for him and how excruciating it was for him and how HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW IF IT’S THE RIGHT DECISION. What a piece of shit. Also a rooster LOUDLY crows in the middle of Chris making it all about him. Sure, Chris. Keep talking about how hard this is FOR YOU as you break the heart of a real live woman on TV. That rooster crowing signifying YOUR BETRYAYL, JUST LIKE IN THE BIBLE.

Poor Kaitlyn. I actually enjoyed her for the most part. She was a real person with a personality and not a Bachelor robot. Well folks, on that happy note, we’re off until next week with the Women Tell All! Won’t that be fun? It really will be. Nothing I love quite like the Women Tell All. And also, I feel that with Kaitlyn’s fun-loving personality and big-time heartbreak, she could be well posed to be the next Bachelorette.

Henley Monday -

I'm pressed for time today folks, so let me cut to the chase: this is a picture of Jensen Ackles looking really nice and really thoughtful in a grey henley and holding a beer. What is troubling you buddy? I don't know and I don't care because it makes you look good! But obvs I hope it all gets sorted out. KISSES!

Henley Monday -

I want you all to know that if I wanted to, I have enough photos of Ryan Gosling in DIFFERENT henleys to feature him as our Henley Monday for just over four months. That's a lot of Ryan in a lot of henleys. But I don't want to phone it in and give you solely our, albeit glorious, Patron Saint of Henleys.

So this Monday, with a plethora of new hunks from which to choose, I give you Ian Somerhalder. Doesn't he look passionate? What it is that's making him smolder so particularly hard right here? Due to the volume and high number of lashes that line his piercing blue eyes, Ian almost always looks like he's smoldering, but putting on this henley made him burn up a couple extra degrees.

May his stare keep you warm during these unseasonably cold days.

Henley Monday - 

This is Jessie Pavelka. I found him one day just bopping around the internet, as one does. I'm not sure of his exact level of fame, but according to his Wikipedia page he "is an American fitness expert and television host, specializing in extreme weight loss". Apparently he's hosted a few shows in England focusing on said extreme weight loss and is also cousin to well-known and reviled former Bachelor Jake Pavelka. Hopefully they are estranged. 

All this is to say MAMA MIA LOOKY AT THAT MAN WEARING THAT HENLEY LOOKING INTO CAMERA WITH THAT FACE. It's enough to stop your heart which I imagine could be quite a hazard in his line of work.

Still, unf. Major unf.

BREAKING: SPECIAL EARLY-EDITION OF HENLEY MONDAY DUE TO EARTH-SHATTERING AWESOMENESS OF CONTENT

You. Guys. I can't even. I CAN'T. I JUST CAN'T EVEN SO LET'S DO BULLET POINTS UNTIL I CAN MAKE REAL SENTENCES:

Justin Timberlake, Ryan Gosling, JC Chasez, and that black guy singing a classic 90s R&B slow jam

Mickey Mouse Club and Disney Channel allowing this to air

the pelvic thrust/hip gyration dance moves that are the only choreographed thing about this

Itty-bitty Britney Spears coming out at the end and saying "y'all" to us

The Gos is the weakest singer of the group but ASK ME IF I CARE

Wardrobe. Wardrobe gets an A++ for everthing, particularly for dressing them in clothing 6 to 8 times larger than their bodies and the beige, taupe, & cream color scheme

WARDROBE. FOR PUTTING A HENLEY ON RYAN. EFFING. GOSLING -PATRON SAINT OF HENLEYS (MAY HE EVER BE BLESSED AND HIS PECS ALWAYS BE STRONG)

We have video evidence of what is perhaps the genesis of Ryan Gosling's 20+ year love affair with what he has always known to be the single greatest piece of casual menswear ever stitched into existence.

#BLESSED

The Bachelorette - Episode 7 Recap

We’re back together again so soon. Isn’t this nice? I get to binge watch, and you can binge read right alongside me? Is not this simpler? Jk jk jk I’m not Loki. On today’s episode, Andi and the six remaining guys migrate to Brussels, Belgium. The episode is rife with tension and drama as the decisions made here will impact who goes home for the coveted Home Town Dates. And now, we begin.

The dudes are really showing off their muscles in Brussels! HA HA HA I’m so sorry (not really) but I had to. I had to. Anywho, the city is beautiful European, old-world blah blah very pretty. The boys are very excited about their plush ass suite, BUT LISTEN. LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO THE WORDS I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU: DYLAN BAD-HAIR GOOD-FACE HAS PULLED HIS BAD HAIR INTO A TEENY-TINY PONYTAIL. IT’S SO TINY, BUT IT’S GREASY AND IT’S THERE. Do you think Dylan BH-GF has become self-aware?

Chrarrison stops by the plush ass suite to imbue the guys with a sense of dread of how important the home town dates are. Nick’s confidence is really starting to rub the guys the wrong way. He is very, very determined to be with this woman, but it’s not in a The Notebook kind of way. It’s in a jerky, almost creepy sort of way.

Marcus gets the first of two one-on-ones this week. There will also be a group date with a rose that guarantees a hometown date and then an additional one-on-one.

I wish I could sit here and tell you that Andi isn’t wearing a f***ing, GD turtleneck for her date with Marcus, but I can’t. Because I’d be lying. Because SOMEHOW wardrobe has finagled her into yet another turtleneck. WHAT HAS THIS SHOW AND MY LIFE BECOME THAT TURTLENECKS ABOUND?

Marcus and Andi do the standard Bachelorette date of just exploring the city doing fun things. I am really jealous of this one. They go to a beautiful chocolate shop, take selfies with landmarks, and buy some tacky souvenirs. They even eat mussels in Brussels at a sweet sidewalk café. Marcus tells her that he is full throttle in love with her. And for the first time, in this light at this angle, Marcus looks really good to me. He’s still a little boring, but at least he’s getting hotter? That’s not a thing, Cassie.

They eat an amazing Belgian waffle and she says, “I’m glad you’re a good eater!” They kiss. He talks to camera, and you can see the excitement and love radiating off of him. Ugh. Realness.

They change into fancy-wear and go to a big Belgian palace for dinner. Immediately we get into heavy topics like how Marcus’s dad left his mom and his younger siblings. Andi asks more about the people who would be at the date (as opposed to his father), and Marcus would love to share his family with him. It’s heavy stuff. His mom and his relationship was difficult, but they are in a good place now.

Then Andi and Marcus make out. A lot. In different locations. Making out. YEAAAAH!

Marcus comes home from the date, and Nick realizes that Andi must be somewhere in the hotel. And a plot doth form in his young mind. He trots off into the night to find his lady. Remember when I thought Nick was a simple, normal guy? Yeah I don’t think that assumption was correct. Andi is so shocked to see him because she was worried that something was wrong.

She changes into her casual clothes and they go for a midnight walk in Brussels. They end up at a sidewalk café together. It’s so romantic! SHUT UP! This is a bold, bold move, and Andi is right, it’s against the rules. But just like our old friend Clare, fortune favors the bold.  Nick tells her that he thinks about marrying her. They makeout at the café like a couple of real Europeans.

“I think if I had to chose one word to describe my relationship with Nick, it would have to be passion,” Andi says. “When he kisses me I can feel what he is thinking. It’s hot! It’s so hot.” Girlfriend I get it. But also be careful because the guys are going to resent him big time for this.

Then Josh gets the second one-on-one. “Let’s Ghent it on” the card reads. Whatever could it mean? Just kidding, it obviously means they’ll be exploring Ghent. They eat chocolate at several locations. Yes please! Andi wants Josh to get to a place where he can express his feelings. But then there’s a goose parade? Yes. That’s right. It’s a goose parade. Europeans, man. They love whimsy.

Andi is practically prying his true feelings out of him. He’s scared to and isn’t sharing quite like all the other guys and he needs to do that in order to stick around.

They have dinner in a giant, old castle. It’s amazing. They cuddle up on a couch set in this huge medieval hall. Andi asks more about why he was so uncomfortable last week. After much more mumbling and stumbling over his words, Josh tells Andi that he is, in fact, falling in love with her. And that to take a girl home to his family means that that is someone he might want to marry.

And then beautiful music begins to play and they dance and make out against a castle wall. And the music is actually furnished by folk group American Young playing a seriously gorgeous song in the middle of Ghent. This is really romantic except for being on a platform in front of a bunch of old Belgian couples.

Nick, Dylan, Brian, and Chris are on the group date together. Nick is very sure that he will have the group date rose. Dylan is still wearing his hair in a teeny-tiny ponytail. I think we need to adjust to our new normal here, gang. Dylan Bad Hair-Good Face now wears a ponytail.

The group explores some ruins in the Belgian countryside. It is stunning and verdant and amazing. Dylan eloquently states that the “ruins” stood the test of time much like he hopes their love will. Now, Dylan, not to get picky here but the word “ruins” implies that, in fact, this place did not stand the test of time. Don’t wish for your love to end up in ruins.

 They actually take off on a rail bike that is powered by the four men pedaling a blue-metal chariot for Andi on the old train tracks. Brian starts off by quoting Dumb & Dumber by saying “it feels like your running at an incredible rate!” and now I’m in love with Brian.

The boys are dying pedaling this rail bike and come up with cute little games like rhyming to pass the time. When they get off the bikes, they get to go explore a monastery. It is a fully working monastery wherein no kissing is allowed. They actually have to say that so the dudes don’t go smooching on sacred ground.

But this is where the date rose will be given out. Which is really heavy handed and taking things REAL seriously. The date rose to be handed out on the grounds of a monastery? Ok!

Each guy gets some one-on-one time with Andi, and Chris is up first. They get to spin some pottery with zero supervision or instruction. THEN THEY KISS IN THE POTTERY STUDIO? THAT’S NOT ALLOWED? WTF GUYS? ANDI JUST SAID NO KISSING IN THE MONASTERY!

And then Andi also throws out to the group that whoever gets the rose continues on the date with her while the rest of the guys go home. They begin to panic. It’ll be ok guys.

Brian and Chris also take this time to hate Nick even more. The producer’s have kindly cut the footage so it looks like Nick has just been talking and talking and talking. They think he’s just thinking about strategy and how to play the game. I don’t know. I think he is thinking about that, but he’s thinking about that because I think he genuinely likes Andi. I don’t think he’s faking it.

Well, then it’s time for Coach Brian to walk and talk with Andi. Somehow it has become just part of “the game” that each contestant must profess that they are “falling in love with” the Bachelor/Bachelorette if they want to have any hope of getting a hometown date. So Brian takes his one-on-one time to do just that. Brian is so sweet and funny. I just love him. But I don’t know if Andi and he have that special connection.

Nick is still very self-assured in everything going on. He’s just confident that Andi will meet his family. Their conversation goes so well that they have to stand up and walk away from each other so they don’t kiss in the monastery. I would say that Nick is right to be so confident in moving onto hometowns, BUT I don’t know that he’ll get that date rose.

The moment of truth is upon us. The date rose goes to Nick. I guess I shouldn’t be shocked. You can see how crestfallen the other guys are. The three amigos pile into the backseat of a van and buckle their seatbelts together like the baseball team who just lost the big game. They each take turns saying, “fuck”. It’s hilarious.

“Andi just gave me the rose, and I feel like she just told me she loves me,” Nick says.  The happy couple changes clothes and arrive for dinner at a beautiful palace. Nick plants one giant kiss on her right away.

Back at the Plush Ass Suite, the guys all get really steamed together about how conniving and bad Nick is. Usually, I’m on everyone’s side about “the villain”. But this season? Really, guys? I don’t know. Nick is just really confident in what he has with Andi and isn’t playing with all the other boys. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not there to be with Andi or find love. I think he is. I do. I think Nick’s intentions in this are pure.

And the one-on-one date with Andi is more evidence of that. They kiss and giggle and talk about how they would be as parents and what the hometown will be like. As fireworks go off, they make out even more. “I do see that possibility of him standing at the very end,” Andi says. Yeah, I don’t think it’s much of a secret that barring any huge disasters, Nick is one of the finalists. But who else will join him?!

When Nick returns home from his “mini one-on-one” all the guys sit in stony silence. No one wants to hear how great his time with “their” “girlfriend” was. The camera pans to each of the guys to gauge their reactions. Brian is giggling into his wine glass. Josh coughs twice. Marcus stares at the floor. And Chris has a tiny, smug smile on his face.

They start digging into him, and honestly guys? I don’t care anymore. I don’t care how they think he’s a strategist and not there for Andi. I don’t CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE. WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN SELVES GUYS. Remember in first grade when someone would tattle on someone else and the teacher would say, “Thank you, Britney but you should only be worrying about Britney.” Chris, Brian, Josh, Marcus, Dylan: you should only be worrying about Chris, Brian, Josh, Marcus and Dylan!

The most notable thing is that Nick comes so, so, so close to saying everyone’s favorite Reality Show Catchphrase. “I didn’t come here to…be in a frat house,” says Nick. OOOH, so close buddy! But the sentiment is the same. You didn’t come here to make friends.

The guys arrive at a stunning chateau that production has bedecked with the requisite candles, tea lights, and pillows from Pier 1 Imports. Andi’s dress is intense. It’s midnight blue with some serious embellishment up top and down its long sleeves. Damn I love a gown with long sleeves.

During the cocktail party, the guys seem to know that Marcus and Josh are most definitely going to Hometowns. So Chris, Brian, and Dylan are all sweating it out as to who the final rose will go to. Andi also basically tells us as much, too.

Everyone is nervously pulling her aside to robotically remind Andi that they are each falling in love with her. Even Nick pulls her aside to have a moment with her despite having a rose. The guys accordingly react.

But the moment of truth is swift upon us. Andi gives a stirring speech about how seriously she takes hometowns. That for her, it means she sees a serious possibility of being with that person for the rest of her life.

Roses go to, of course, Josh and Marcus first. And that leaves our three boys to sweat it out. In the end, it goes to Farmer Chris. And I think that’s the right call. My sad little heart weeps for Coach Brian and Dylan Bad Hair-Good Face. Dylan cries. Andi cries. Brian cries. Andi cries more. It’s an emotions FESTIVAL in that chateau.

But I think Andi has the right final four. And hometowns are going to be really interesting I think with several of these guys. But it’s also the episode during which they find out that Eric has died. And that’s going to be really emotional and difficult to watch. So bear with me as I figure out how to convey everything that’s going on with a very serious subject on a very ridiculous show.

Until then my loves! My hope is to be all caught up by the time we get to the Men Tell All on Monday. Fingers crossed!

Henely Monday - 

Welcome to the really extended week long ramp-up to Halloween we're getting this year. I'm not complaining one bit because any excuse to watch scary movies and eat so much candy I physically hurt is a good one. And many of you indulged in some fun-having too much last weekend and you really need this, a double dosage of henley.

And I found both these pictures and could not wait to share both at the same time. Because I love Tom Hiddleston and I love that THOR 2 is coming out in less than two weeks and I love that he is wearing a different leather jacket over a different henley in both of these pictures and I love that he looks so sad and forlorn about how he KNOWS how perfect he is. He knows. For better or worse, this guy knows how perfect he is.

And I love it.

Everybody Simmer Down About Finnick Odair

As of late, there has been much casting speculation on the hunky star of the Hunger Games' sequels Catching Fire and Mockingjay, Finnick Odair. He is described to be a tall, svelt, blonde with a beguiling smile. With majestic, Norse- deity looks such as these, the internet is twitterpated with who could possibly be cast as the trident-bearing Adonis.

Last week, Entertainment Weekly even published a poll with who people most wanted to see play Finnick.  While the top choice Ryan Kwanten....

...makes sense, and who, like any good Aussie takes to the water like a perfectly sculpted dolphin, he's too old. Kwanten is 35, a young 35 to be sure, but mid-thirties just the same. It's not that I'm ageist, but rather that the casting has stuck fairly close to the ages the Hunger Games kids are supposed to be. Granted, Finnick is supposed to be 24, but still Kwanten might be a bit of a stretch.

Other top choices were Ryan Gosling (absurd), Channing Tatum (in what world?), and Kellan Lutz (nein, danke). The only one that made any sense to me, and who seems to have quite the crazed internet fan-base is Alex Pettyfer.

He, too, makes sense. So pretty. But he does have one major issue. If his performance in Beastly (I CANNOT RECOMMEND THIS FILM HIGHLY ENOUGH) is any indicator, we have no hope of understanding a single word he garbles out while trying to mask his English accent. There were moments in that movie that we rewound multiple times, and between three women, could not decipher any real words he'd said.

What I'm really trying to get at here is that we should stop all this speculation now because we're going to be nothing but disappointed. We are all firmly in different camps and all our selections have their faults. All we're doing is building up resentment and false hopes. I think everyone needs to sit tight and temper expectations until we get the casting announcement.  Put on some One Direction, make some more Peeta and Gale themed "Keep Calm" memes, and relax. Don't set yourself up for disappointment...

...Unless of course you have placed yourself into my camp, which would make you right. Settle in smugly because you know your choice is the best and most apt. Your choice was originally up for the role of Peeta but ultimately lost out to Hutcherson. At first you were like, "How could they possibly?!" but now that Finnick is on the horizon you're all, "Hutcherson was the right choice then; this guy is the right choice now."

Who is it?

Why, it's Hunter Parrish! You may know him from his turn as bad boy Stan in 17 Again, Luke in It's Complicated, or most famously Silas on Weeds. Boy is fine, and what you might not be able to see here is that his mouth is filled with a million, gigantic, shiny white teeth. Is this picture not quite doing it for you? Do you need help completing the image?

Worry not. I've got you covered.

What a dream....