ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN

SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.

NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

More Posts from Plasma-grunt-ellis and Others

9 years ago

reblog if you didn’t get to see the stupid fuck moon because of clouds or some other bull  shit reason!!!!!

9 years ago

reminder to:

straighten your back

go pee goddAMN IT STOP HOLDING IT

go take your meds if you need to

drink some water

go get a snack if you havent eaten in a while

maybe wander around the house/stretch a little if you’ve been sat at the computer a while (artists especially: sTRETCH THOSE WRISTS)

reply to that text/message from earlier you’d forgotten about

maybe send a nice lil message to someone having a bad day?

9 years ago

This blog is pro-choice, pro-contraception and stands with Planned Parenthood.

9 years ago

This is a callout post

I am writing this post anonymously. I don’t wish for my identity to be know. Though, some people may know who I am, and I don’t care. I no longer wish to hide this. This is for the best.

I will be honest, I have absolutely no proof of this whatsoever. Do with this information as you will, but again, I have no proof. It’s been years, and since then all tumblr messages and skype logs have been deleted. These events occurred years ago when I had just turned 16. I was a stupid teenager, honestly. I will not lie. I said some real fucked up things to this guy, and I was not a perfect angel. But this man, tumblr user @revengeance, also known as “Whiplash” is a pedophile. But I will get into that later on in the post. I want to explain this story in full detail with as much memory I have of the situation.

Keep reading

11 years ago

just listen to the crowd

9 years ago

help me out please!

hi! this post 

Help Me Out Please!

has been going around lately again and. i really dont want it going around mainly because my caption was removed rlly early and thts the main version going around. people keep using it without my permission and its getting rlly old. i dont want it circulating anymore so if ppl could pls boost this and stop reblogging it i would really appreciate it!

9 years ago

Polyamory

Reblog if you’re polyamorous/open to polyamory in the future/in a polycule or open to one/interested in polyamory I want to see how many of us there are

And like if you think polyamory is okay, can be healthy, and doesn’t “go against human nature”

9 years ago

Reblog if you think a boy can wear a dress

9 years ago
Gunman In Virginia Kills Two TV Reporters Live On Air 
Gunman In Virginia Kills Two TV Reporters Live On Air 
Gunman In Virginia Kills Two TV Reporters Live On Air 
Gunman In Virginia Kills Two TV Reporters Live On Air 

Gunman in Virginia kills two TV reporters live on air 

A yet-unknown gunman shot and killed two WDBJ7 reporters in Moneta, Virginia, Wednesday morning during a live television broadcast.

The reporter, 24-year-old Alison Parker, was interviewing a woman in the Bridgewater Plaza when the gunman came into the camera’s view and fired at least six shots, killing Parker and WDBJ7’s 27-year-old photographer, Adam Ward. 

More as this story develops (WARNING: Disturbing footage.)

11 years ago

dad: are you watching that show with those girl singers again? why don’t you grow up and watch something more manly

image

me:

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