Pistachiophobia - Pistachio

Jake: If you turn a pizza inside out, is it still called a pizza or?

Isa: That’s technically spaghetti.

Isa: What are amphetamines?

Jake: Drugs that can go on land and water.

Isa: Ohhhh.

Jake: Why is there a dead guy on our porch? Kai: Isa punched him in the guts. Jake: WHY? Kai: Poor dude forgot the garlic knots.

Isa, walking past a bloody sidewalk: Technically can't any trail be a hiking trail?

Jake, on the phone: When you put it like that, anything could happen.

no I'm not kidding (x) (x) (x) (x)

Isa: You're a horrible roommate and nobody in this house likes you. Kai: Let's rephrase our statements with 'If you do this, it makes me feel this'. Try it, Isa. Isa: When you live here, it makes me feel angry. Kai: Isa: Because you're a horrible roommate and nobody in this house likes you.

Jake: Why did the traffic light turn red?

Isa: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

Kaylee: What’s an orgasm?

Kai: When you fold paper to look like birds and shit.

Jake: Isn’t that origami tho?

Isa: No, you dumb fuck, that’s oregano.

the thick, grey mist concealed the sun’s golden rays. a ray of light managed to creep through the curtains. she burrowed herself into her blankets. she could still remember that day.

fuck! i’m in love…again!

Jake: Where are you going?

Isa: Hell, eventually.