Even More Things Bruce Has Said To His Kids:

Even more things Bruce has said to his kids:

“Is that a Metropolis Meteors jersey? You had better burn that, this is a Gotham Knights household”

“We don’t wear Superman shirts in this household … I don’t care if your brother was wearing a Wonder Woman shirt, Diana is awesome.”

“It’s not Alfred’s job to take all 20 of the cereal bowls out of your room, if you ate in the dining room like everyone else this wouldn’t be an issue.”

“Don’t stab your siblings, I’m tired of stitching wounds”

“The next person that breaks a chandelier will be paying for it out of their trust fund!”

“Alfred will be having a cooking workshop for everyone … Yes, it’s mandatory … Cereal is not an acceptable dish to make at every meal … You already know how to cook, so you’ll be helping teach … Yes, I’ll also be there. Alfred said it’s mandatory for everyone”

“If I hear Cardi B blaring from the kitchen at 2 in the morning one more time … I don’t know what I’ll do but I’ll figure it out!”

“Stop drawing on your brother’s face with sharpie. If you’re going to do it at least do it with something that’ll wash off easier.”

“How the hell did you and your brother spend $1000 at McDonalds in one visit?”

“Where did the antique vases form the foyer go?”

“Just because you have a balcony does not make it okay for you to pee off of it! You all have attached bathrooms! You’re killing Alfred’s roses”

“Just because you have a balcony does not mean it’s okay for your Super friends to sneak into the house, they still need my permission to be in Gotham”

“I swear if I catch one more unauthorized Kryptonian in this house I’m bringing out the Kryptonite”

“Why would you do this to me? Do you want me to have a heart attack?!”

“We discussed this. No one was supposed to dress up as a clown this Halloween, why the hell are you all dressed up as a clown?”

“Why did I get a call from you teacher today saying you brought your cat to school?”

“Just because you’re saying it in another language doesn’t mean I don’t know what you’re saying. … Yes I know you just swore in Greek, and Mandarin, and French, and wait which one was that? … Gaelic, I didn’t know you knew that one.”

“Complain about one more thing, child, and I’ll send you to boarding school … I don’t care if your 22, I’ll find a way”

“No, I will not let you start an IV full of coffee just to see if you will survive, drink it like a normal person”

“No, I will not put a fridge in the Batcave. If you want a snack you can go upstairs and get one … I did not say you could call Alfred at get it, go get your own damn snack”

“Where did you find a box of cereal that big?”

“Why is there a car in my study? How did you get that through the front door?”

“Why did I adopt so many children?”

“I love you all, but if you don’t leave me alone I think I might go insane. If that what you want? Do you want to have to drive me at Arkham? No? Then please, I just need an hour.”

“Yes, your makeup looks lovely, I just don’t understand why you’re wearing it … I’m not discriminating … I didn’t say you couldn’t wear the makeup! … You know what, you look beautifully handsome, and your eye lashes are on fleek”

“If you want to prank your brothers you’ll be doing it alone. I will miss you when you die”