As Part Of The Health Secretary’s Highly Publicized Pledge To Determine The Cause Of The Disorder In

“i am my fathers daughter” and it’s chat noir on the screen, falling on the ground. oh boy do i have the feeling they know exactly what they were doing

Oh god what the fuck did you guys do???

i can't stand these new fountain machines they dispense watered down piss

maybe this is just me idk

ugh. forget everything i’ve ever said. unless you thought it was smart or funny in which case remember it forever

the hadron collider is like an angel to me

Like-a so?

Preferred method of boiling?

Ingredients: people you don't like, comically large spaghetti noodles, comically large pot, water, salt

Pour water into comically large pot. Wait to boil. Sprinkle salt in. Stick people you don't like onto the comically large spaghetti noodles. Place people noodles into pot sticking up Jesus on the cross style. Wait for 2 days and voila. Boiled 👍

fyi i will be extending some dark tendrils across the sky later today. just a heads up

I want a snail now

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"