A Writing Competition I Was Going To Participate In Again This Year Has Announced That They Now Allow

One of the greatest lies a writer can tell themselves is that they will remember the idea that they came up with while they were half asleep, so they don’t need to write it down right away.

Maybe We Can Be Friends (Part 2)

Since you all liked the first one so much, I decided I'd write another one! Hope you enjoy this one too.

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Autistic!Fem!Shy!Reader

Summary: You thought you'd more or less made your peace with Jake, and you were hoping that there would be no more drama, but it turns out that Fate loves to go against your wishes, which is something Penny and Jimmy won't let you forget in a hurry…

Warnings: Obnoxious roommates, mentions of autism, mentions of sensory overload, a bit of angst, some fluff, soft Jake, Penny and the reader are besties

A/N: Sorry this one's got less Jake in, I promise there will be more of him in future!

"Hey, Y/N!" calls Penny, as you enter the bar. "How was your date?"

You blush. "It went well. And it wasn't a date."

Penny just gives you a knowing smile, and slips you a Coke. "Just as a heads-up, it'll probably be busy tonight, so you don't have to stay, okay? Like I said last time, I'll pay you the full amount no matter what time you leave, and I won't be mad if you need to leave early - or if you just want to skip it."

You bite your lip, remembering what happened last night. Although it turned out well, you really don't want to go through another sensory overload. But at the same time, you don't want to leave the bar to just two people, especially if it's busy.

"I'll stay, and just test the waters a bit," you reply. "But if I start looking scared, or agitated, or something…"

Penny nods. "I'll keep an eye on you, just so something like last night doesn't happen again, okay?"

You nod. "Yeah, that's fine."

"And I have a feeling that a certain aviator will be looking out for you, too," she adds, with a teasing smile.

You blush. "It was just the once, Penny. He's probably going to be back to his old self tonight."

"I wouldn't be so sure, hon. He's not exactly the type who'd do that for just anyone, you know."

You blush again, wishing your heart wouldn't jump about whenever you talk or think about him. What's wrong with me? I literally just stopped hating him last night, and now I'm feeling weird about him again?

"Bar's open!" calls Jimmy, as he flips the open/closed sign.

You hastily get behind the counter, and pour yourself another Coke.

Fortunately, while it's busier than usual, it's not as busy as it was last night. And you're getting pretty caffeinated, so things are looking good.

As you start taking orders, you find yourself watching the doorway, wondering if there are going to be any Navy pilots tonight.

Well, until you catch Penny grinning at you.

"Penny!" you groan. Realising how stupid that sounds, you hastily add, "It could be anyone, you know." Why's my voice so high-pitched?

"Right, Y/N. Right."

"Well, it could be-" You hastily try to think of a pilot who you can actually put a name or callsign to.

And then you realise - and grin.

Turning to Penny, you say, "You know, I noticed you fancied one of them - Matthews, was it?"

Penny rolls her eyes. "Mitchell." She chuckles. "Alright, you got me there."

"So you do like him?"

Penny blushes. "I guess. But don't tell him, okay?"

You nod. "Sure. But why?"

Penny smiles. "I guess you don't know what the word 'maverick' means." She's about to explain, but just then, the Dagger Squad walk in.

You stare at them, looking for Jake, and trying to ignore Penny's grinning.

"Hey, Y/N."

"Hey, Penny."

You and Penny both jump, and let out squeaks of fright, before turning around to see Jake and Mav grinning at you.

"Peter Evan Mitchell!" Penny scolds him.

"Hey, I didn't know I was gonna make you jump," protests Mav.

You notice that Penny's blushing, which would normally make you giggle - except for the fact that Jake's standing right in front of you.

"Hey, sweets," he says.

Your face burns as you stare at him, every rational thought immediately leaving your head.

Jake chuckles. "What's the matter? You suddenly bowled over by my good looks?"

You open your mouth to protest, but nothing comes out.

"It's okay, sweets. I'm just teasing. I'll have a Jack and Coke, by the way."

You try not to spill anything as you make his drink, pretending not to notice Jimmy grinning at you.

Jake's fingers brush against yours as you hand him his drink, a small thing that makes your heart jump much higher than it should have.

That, and his soft, "Thanks, hon."

Fortunately, Penny's busy with Mav (something you'll tease her about later), but Jimmy's trying to catch your eye.

Unfortunately, it's not quite time for the evening rush, so you don't have anyone else to get drinks for, which would help you get your mind off Jake - and be a perfect excuse not to chat.

You don't really want to talk about Jake tonight, though, so, for once in your life, you're positively delighted when the evening rush starts, and you don't have any time to chat.

***********************************************************************

You're woken up by your phone buzzing.

Groaning, you reach over, grab it, fumbling the unlock feature a couple of times until you manage to open it.

There's a text from Penny: Hey Y/N, I know you probably won't read this right now, but was wondering if you'd like to have a girls' day out?

That's enough to wake you up immediately. Do I want to go on a day out with Penny? Stupid question - of course I do!

You immediately reply with: Yes! I'll be ready and down to the bar as quick as I can!

Penny's reply comes through a few seconds later: I was actually going to come around to your place with the car. Figured it'd be more convenient.

You smile, type out a thank-you, and then start getting ready.

It's been ages - years, actually - since you and Penny have had a proper day out. Sure, you met at the beach about a week ago, but that wasn't really a designated day out.

Despite your indecisiveness over what to wear, you're ready in record time, and actually have time to do a bit of scrolling before you hear Penny's car pull up outside.

"Hi, Penny," you say, as you get in.

"Hey," she replies. "Figured I'd take advantage of Amelia being away this Saturday."

"How is she?" you ask. You've met Amelia a few times over the years, and you've always liked her.

"Pretty good. She's settled in well at school, made some friends, and she's getting pretty good grades, too."

"That's good. She's a nice girl."

"Of course you'd say that to me!" laughs Penny. "I'm her mother!"

You blush. "But I do genuinely think that."

"I know you do, hon. You two always got on well."

You both fall into silence after that, just taking time to enjoy each other's company.

After a while, Penny says, "You know, for our day out, I was thinking we go shopping, get some clothes, skincare stuff, maybe some lunch…"

You smile. "Sounds good." Penny mentioning skincare stuff has put an idea into your head. "You know, I was thinking…"

"Yes?"

"What if - you don't have to agree, of course - but what if we bought skincare stuff - like spa kind of stuff, and had a girls' spa night?"

Penny's face lights up. "Now that's an idea!"

Then you remember. "Oh, but - what about Amelia? Will she mind?"

"She's having a sleepover tonight. And even if she wasn't, I'm pretty sure she'd be happy to join in."

"She wouldn't think it's a bit weird or cringe? You know, because I'm friends with you, and you're her mother?"

"You're closer to her age than I am, and anyway, she loves you, hon. She'd do anything for you."

You're not used to getting compliments like that, and now you're blushing. You try to think of something else to talk about, but just then, your stomach growls.

You blush again. "Sorry."

Penny chuckles. "It's fine, hon. Looks like our first stop'll be breakfast, then."

You start to protest. "Oh, no, Penny, you don't have t-"

Penny cuts you off with another laugh. "I'm not dragging a hungry, grumpy Y/N around the shops, okay? You're getting breakfast, whether you like it or not."

"Okay, but just a sandwich or something. I want to save my appetite for lunch."

"Sure thing. We'll stop in at the convenience store on the way."

You do feel better after you've had a sandwich and a drink. Penny ends up getting something to eat as well, even though she's had breakfast.

After you've finished your sandwiches, Penny says, "Should we go look at some clothes, or go get the skincare stuff?"

"I don't mind," you reply, truthfully, since you really don't mind.

But Penny's having none of it. "That's not an answer, hon."

You groan. "Okay, how about we explore the secondhand shop, see if we can find anything nice?"

Penny smiles. "Sounds good to me!"

Unfortunately, despite looking around for quite some time, you don't find anything really good in the secondhand shop. There are a few items that are decent, but you don't really feel like spending that much money on something you could get new at the same price.

Penny does find a nice-looking vase, but it's a bit too pricey, so she decides to leave it.

Soon after that, you both decide to go and get some lunch at a cafe.

Over lunch, Penny asks you how uni's going.

You sigh. "Well, I like my classes, and I like what I'm studying - and I'm managing to keep on top of deadlines - sort of…"

"How about the other stuff?" asks Penny. "I remember you saying that your roommates weren't exactly - understanding."

You chuckle, shaking your head. "You'd be right."

Penny leans slightly forward, a worried look on her face. "What's going on, exactly?"

"Well, they're forever hosting parties. Loud ones, too. Seriously, like, the neighbours threatened to file a noise complaint. And this is when I'm supposed to be sleeping! Then, because I'm so tired from uni and socialising, and then losing sleep because of their obnoxious partying, I legitimately can't do stuff like my laundry, or the washing-up, so the apartment's now littered with dirty laundry and dishes. Then they have the nerve to tell me to pull my own weight! I literally warned them before we all moved in together that I was autistic, and so I might need help with that sort of thing if I start to burn out, you know?"

"Gosh," mutters Penny, shaking her head. "I'm so sorry, Y/N, I had no idea. I should've thought to ask earlier."

"You don't have to be sorry," you reply, suddenly realising what an awkward position you've accidentally put Penny into. "I shouldn't have ranted so much. And I mean, it's not all bad-"

"Hey." Penny cuts you off. "Look at me. It's not your fault, okay? If anything, it's mine, for not giving you a chance to speak up earlier. You shouldn't have to deal with that sort of stuff, especially when you need to rest."

"I guess it is kind of my fault," you admit. "I didn't want to tell the uni that I'm autistic. I felt like it would - I - I don't know. I guess I just didn't want to be seen as different, you know? Like I was in school."

"You felt like the other kids treated you different?" asks Penny.

You nod. "Yeah. And I didn't want that to happen again."

Penny doesn't reply. She seems to be wrapped up in her own thoughts, so you try to wrap yourself in yours, too.

"Careful you don't pull our dishes off the table," says Penny suddenly.

You're so surprised by this that you start giggling - and then blush when you realise that you've been pulling at the tablecloth. Penny's laughter breaks the awkward silence, which makes you feel a bit better.

"You sound like such a mum, you know," you tease.

"I am a mom," replies Penny, chuckling. Then, looking over, she adds, "I think they're going to want us out of here, now."

"Wha-" Then you realise that you've both finished eating. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, we should probably get going."

***********************************************************************

"Right, Y/N, you're the skincare expert," Penny says, as you pull up.

"I'm not that good," you protest. "I mean, I know the basics, but I have no idea how to set up a spa night."

Penny chuckles. "Then let's call it our own take. Now, what are the basics?"

"Er, if I remember right, it's exfoliant, moisturiser, primer, cleanser - not in that order, of course…"

Penny holds up a bottle. "Serum?"

You shrug. "I guess." Then you have a brainwave. "Oh! Face masks, of course."

Penny laughs when she sees all the different types of face mask there are. "How do you know which one to go for?"

"I was thinking the exact same thing!"

You and Penny don't talk about the roommate situation while shopping for skincare, and while you appreciate that Penny probably wants to keep the rest of this day out a light-hearted one, you can't help feeling like you overshared a bit too much.

While you're driving home, after paying for your stuff, however, Penny turns to you, and says: "You know, I've been thinking about the roommate situation, and - you don't have to agree, of course, but I was wondering if you'd maybe like to move in with me and Amelia. We've got a spare room, the house isn't too far from your college, and I promise the neighbourhood is a lot quieter than what you're putting up with right now."

Your heart immediately jumps into your throat, which consequently tightens. Penny's prepared to have me move in with her?

"I'd love to," you reply, your voice a little thick. But then you realise. "But - surely - will Amelia mind?"

"I don't think she'd mind," replies Penny. "Anyway, she isn't really in the house much now. But you can talk with her, if you want."

"And what about things like laundry, and cooking, and stuff? I'm not very good at remembering those…"

Penny laughs. "You seriously think that'd be a dealbreaker?"

You're surprised at this reaction. "My roommates get super mad at me whenever I don't clean up their mess."

"Well, I'm not your roommates, and I'm fine with helping you remember to do your laundry - and doing it for you if you forget. For dinner, Amelia and I don't really eat together, so you're pretty much fine to just eat when you get hungry."

"Well - I really don't know what to say," you remark. "You're sure, though? About me living with you?"

Penny just smiles. "If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't have offered, sweetie."

"Well, in that case, I just want to make sure Amelia's fine with it. If she is, I guess I move in."

***********************************************************************

To both yours and Penny's surprise, Amelia's waiting for you at the house.

"Amelia?" Penny goes over to her. "Is everything okay?"

Amelia sighs. "Riley got sick, so the sleepover was cancelled. And I couldn't find the spare key."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie. You should've called. I'd have come home sooner if I'd known. Have you had dinner?"

Amelia nods. "Yeah. At the diner."

"Well, Y/N and I haven't had dinner yet, so we're going to get some now. I know you just ate, but do you want anything?"

"No thanks, I'm good."

Once you're all inside the house, Amelia turns to you. "Hi, Y/N. You staying to dinner?"

You nod, smiling shyly. "Yeah. If that's okay with you, I mean."

Amelia nods. "It's fine by me." Then she spots the shopping bags. "What did you buy?"

You let out a nervous giggle. "Er, it's skincare. Penny and I were planning to - er, have a spa night. If-"

Amelia giggles. "It's fine by me." Then she turns back to Penny. "I'm gonna go do my homework now. I got a lot of it, and it's all in for tomorrow."

"Looks like schools haven't changed much," you remark, which makes Penny laugh.

"They sure haven't."

But then you remember, and hastily call, "Hey, Amelia, could you wait a minute?"

"Yeah, sure."

But then you can't find the words to ask her. Fortunately, after you give her a look, Penny understands, and adds, "Y/N and I have something we'd like to talk to you about."

"What's it about?"

Again, you can't find the words to say it, so you leave it to Penny.

"Would you mind if Y/N moved in with us? She's been having a hard time where she's staying, roommates partying late at night, and all sorts, and so she hasn't really been able to get a break."

Amelia doesn't even hesitate. "Yeah, sure. That's fine by me." Then she goes upstairs.

You stare at Penny in surprise. "She didn't even bat an eye!"

Penny just smiles. "So, are you going to move in?"

You nod. "Yes, absolutely. - Oh, but - when would I pack up and move? I don't have that many things, but I will have to notify uni, get the paperwork done, arrange transportation…"

"We'll sort that out tomorrow," replies Penny. "For now, let's just have our dinner, and then enjoy our spa night."

***********************************************************************

Penny's better than her word. The next day, after you've had breakfast (Penny insisted that you stay the night), Penny takes you back to the uni accommodation.

You're kind of nervous on the drive yet, even though you know that your roommates will probably be out shopping or something. You're not even sure why your nervous. After all, it's not like you have to be in class, either. It is a Sunday, after all.

It's only when you open your apartment door, that you realise why you were nervous.

The place is a tip.

And a lot of it's your mess. Your mess, that you were supposed to be cleaning up, on Saturday.

"I'm so, so sorry," you gasp, your cheeks burning. "I'd completely forgotten - I was supposed to clean it up yesterday - my roommates are going to be livid when they see this…"

Penny just chuckles. "It's not that bad, hon. Let's just pack an overnight bag plus a few extra bits of stuff for now, and move the bulk of your stuff next week, when I can get some help from Pete."

You breathe a sigh of relief - before remembering your roommates. "Oh - but what about my roommates?"

Penny takes a quick look around. "Well, I don't see any food here, so I think you can just bundle your stuff into some carrier bags, and we'll deal with it at my place."

"Ok." You're pretty happy with that idea, mostly because it means you won't have to deal with your roommates for a while longer. "Actually, I was wondering if we could, you know, pack the light stuff, like clothes and toiletries, and move it out over the next week or so? I'm just a bit worried that the others might accidentally take my stuff, 'cause I forgot to label it."

"That's a good idea," replies Penny. "It also means that we might not need Pete's help next week," she adds, under her breath. You have to hide your smile at the disappointment in her tone.

"Of course," continues Penny, this time more audibly, "we could have asked Jake to help. I'm sure he'd be very happy to."

Now it's her turn to hide a smile at your blushing.

"Shut up," you mumble, trying to hide the grin that's somehow appeared on your face. "I'll - er - just - grab a few things for now, and come back for anything else later."

***********************************************************************

"Hey, pretty girl!"

Smiling as you recognise Jake's voice, you turn around to face him. "Hi."

He returns your smile. "How was your week, honey?"

Your heart jumps into your throat at his question. "Oh, uh… it was good, I guess? Uh - how was yours?"

"It was okay," replies Jake, leaning a little further forward, "but I missed you, darlin'."

You turn away so he doesn't see you blush. "No, you didn't."

"Oh, but I did."

Normally, with your poor social skills, you'd pass it off as flirting. It wouldn't be exactly out character for him, after all.

But something in his tone makes you turn around, and look at him in surprise. It sounds like he actually means what he's saying. That he missed you.

"Uh-"

Jake cuts you off before you can finish. "I'll have a Jack and Coke, by the way."

"Oh - uh, sure…" You turn to get it for him, secretly feeling a bit hurt at his sudden abruptness. Maybe you misread.

But he still manages a small smile as you hand him his drink. "Thanks, hon. See you around."

And then he's gone, before you can reply.

As the evening wears on, your eyes keep turning in Jake's direction, so much so that you accidentally forget to give someone their drink - twice.

And then you see Jimmy grinning at you. "He likes you, you know," he says suddenly.

You blush. "Shush! He'll hear you."

Jimmy shrugs. "So? It's pretty obvious. Haven't you seen the way he looks at you?"

"It's your imagination," you reply, rather shortly. "I'm not pretty enough to attract attention, especially from him."

Jimmy just smiles. "Oh, you'd be surprised."

You shake your head, trying to brush it off, but deep down, you have a feeling that he's right. And you're not really sure how to feel about that.

**********************************************************************

Part 3

As always, I do not give permission for anyone to copy my work, post it elsewhere, etc.

reblog if you believe fanfics are as valid as books that were published and sold by authors who write as their main careers. I'm trying to prove a point

a comic about fix-it fanfics

the only excuse I see from people who think it's okay to give fanfic writers unsolicited criticism is "if writers can't handle criticism, they should not be posting their works online" and tbh I think it's such a weak, pathetic excuse to be entitled.

someone not wanting unsolicited criticism on something they do for themself — for fun, as a form of self-care — out of love and passion has nothing to do with whether or not they can handle criticism. because we're not talking about a job they get paid to do. we're talking about a damn fanfiction. a hobby. something writers do in their free time as their source of comfort and getaway.

it's their art. not yours. it can be whatever and however an author wants it to be.

instead of trying to justify your action by gaslighting writers — whose works you read for free — that they "should be able to handle unsolicited criticism", ask yourself why you feel the need to go to someone's fic, read it, and then complain about things you don't like when you can always quietly leave if you don't have anything nice to say.

"can fanfic writers handle unsolicited criticism?" "can you learn basic manners and how not to be entitled?"

either respect artists or shut the fuck up forever.

There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.

This is because everything in my life requires work:

maintaining friendships

keeping up with my hygiene

managing bills

making money

remembering my basic needs

sleeping regularly

outputting creatively

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.

You're doing your best.

Unforeseen Events

Pairing: Bruce Banner x Shy!Fem!Autistic!Reader

Warnings/tags: Violence, mention of suicide attempt (no details), angst, autistic reader, spoilers for Avengers, implied head injury, mentions of weapons of mass destruction, mention of the arms race

Summary: Being assigned as Dr Banner’s lab assistant was not what you’d signed up for when you joined SHIELD.

A/N: This is a bit angstier than my usual style, but it will get fluffier later on, I promise!

***************************************************

When you were first noticed by SHIELD, you were ecstatic at being one of the select few chosen to be an agent. But you quickly learned that was not how things worked.

Even though you were hoping to work with gadgets, or maybe even go out into the field, once you’d mastered your poker face, SHIELD had other ideas.

So, you're now a lab assistant, working with - well, for - various genius scientists. It can be boring, sure, and the scientists aren’t usually the most sociable or polite, but it's not terrible, really. And you haven't really had to put your life on the line.

Well, until quite recently.

You were working with a guy called Selvig, who was working on something called a Tesseract, a weird glowing blue cube that emitted gamma radiation, which was apparently fished up from an ocean about the same time that they found Captain America.

That last assignment was the first time you'd had a brush with death on the job. The Tesseract had somehow opened some kind of portal, which had let Loki into the lab. He captured Selvig, Agent Barton, and a couple other agents, killed several more, and then escaped. You only just managed to escape before the whole place blew up.

Needless to say, you were pretty shaken up about the whole incident, and you considered quitting, but - well, there weren't really any other jobs that you could do, since you'd pigeonholed yourself so far into intelligence. And you knew it wasn't likely that SHIELD would let you go, anyway.

Your phone buzzes.

Picking it up, you groan when you see who it is, but you accept the call anyway.

"L/N?"

"Agent Hill?"

"We need you on the carrier."

Seriously? I only just escaped being killed once, and now they're recruiting me again? "Yes, Agent." You don't bother asking why. If she'd wanted you to know why right now, she'd have told you.

After you've grabbed your stuff, left a note with instructions on what to do if you don't return, and texted your family with similar instructions (just in case you don't return), you take one last look around your apartment.

Well, I guess this is goodbye - hopefully just for now.

***************************************************

You stand, speechless, as you try to take in the information that Agent Hill has just given you.

“We’re assigning you as lab assistant to Dr Bruce Banner.”

The words play over and over in your head, as you try to make sense of them. Dr Banner? The super-genius with like seven PhDs? The guy who turns into the Hulk? You’ve had surprises like this before, but never one like this. How am I supposed to deal with a guy who turns into a giant green rage monster that can’t be reasoned with? How do I not stress him out? How do I…?

Agent Hill seems to notice what you're thinking. “Dr Banner hasn’t had an - incident - in over a year. He’s here purely to help us identify what might be powering the Tesseract - and the Sceptre.”

I don’t really have a choice, do I? If I refuse, they’ll fire me. If I concede, well… The odds don’t look great all round. I might as well agree.

“Where is Dr Banner now?” you ask.

“He’s being shown to his lab by Agent Romanoff.”

Despite having worked for SHIELD for a few years now, you're still not really familiar with this ship. You mostly work on the ground bases, so this is maybe the second time you’d been on this thing.

As a result, it takes you a while to find Dr Banner’s lab.

On the way, you bump into none other than Captain America. Literally.

You never really understood the hype around finding Captain America was still alive. Sure, it's great that a guy who was frozen for seventy years is still alive, but you don’t really hero-worship celebrities like a lot of the other agents seem to, especially Agent Coulson.

“Oh - sorry, sir!” you gasp.

He gives you a funny look. “Uh, it's just Steve.”

“Right, right,” you mutter, adding an extra apology for good measure.

Steve seems unsure whether to be amused or annoyed. “One apology's enough, Ms. L/N.”

“Um - yeah, right.” You rub your hands together nervously. “Uh, you don't happen to know where Dr Banner's lab is, please?”

“Might I ask why you're looking for Dr Banner's lab?”

“Oh, um, I'm his lab assistant. Or I'm going to be, anyway…”

“Right. I'll take you there; I was going there myself anyway.”

“Oh, um, thanks,” you mutter, feeling rather awkward.

You're both silent as you head up to the lab. You're not sure if Steve feels as awkward as you, or if he's just a naturally quiet person. You're really hoping it's the latter.

As you near the lab, you hear a yell.

"Ow!"

Steve rushes in with you in tow. "Are you nuts?"

You look around in confusion. There's two guys there, one of which is probably Dr. Banner, although you don't know which.

"You really have got a lid on it, haven't you?" remarks one of the guys. "What's your secret? Mellow jazz, bongo drums, huge bag of-"

"Is everything a joke to you?" demands Steve.

The guy he's addressing doesn't seem bothered. "Funny things are."

"Threatening the safety of everyone on this ship isn't funny. No offence, doctor."

The other guy, presumably Dr Banner, looks up. "It's alright," he says. "I wouldn't have come aboard if I couldn't handle - pointy things."

"You the new lab assistant, kid?" asks the other guy.

You nod rather nervously.

"I'm Tony Stark." He turns back to Dr Banner. "You're tiptoeing, big man. You need to strut."

"And you need to focus on the problem, Mr Stark," snaps Steve.

"You think I'm not?" asks Mr Stark. "Why did Fury call us in? Why now? Why not before? What isn't he telling us?"

"You think Fury's hiding something?"

"He's a spy. Captain, he's the spy. His secrets have secrets." He gestures towards Dr Banner. "It's bugging him, too."

Dr Banner seems reluctant to be brought into the conversation. "Uh… I just want to finish my work here, and…"

But Steve's not convinced. "Doctor?"

Dr Banner sighs. "'A warm light for all mankind'. Loki's jab at the cube."

"I heard it."

He gestures towards Mr Stark. "Well, I think that was meant for you. Even if Barton didn't tell Loki about the tower, it was still all over the news."

"Stark Tower?" asks Steve. "That big, ugly-" Mr Stark gives him a look -"building in New York?"

"It's powered by an arc reactor, a self-sustaining energy source. That building will run itself for what, a year?"

"It's just a prototype," says Mr Stark. "I'm kind of the only name in clean energy right now."

"So why didn't SHIELD bring him in on the Tesseract project?" asks Dr Banner. "I mean, what are they even doing in the energy business in the first place?"

"I should probably look into that, once my decryption program finishes breaking into all of SHIELD's secure files."

"I'm sorry, did you say-" begins Steve.

"JARVIS has been running it since I hit the bridge. In a few hours, I'll know every dirty secret SHIELD has ever tried to hide."

Steve isn't impressed. "I think you're confused about why they didn't want you around."

"An intelligence organisation that fears intelligence? Historically - not awesome."

"I think Loki's trying to wind us up. He means to start a war. We have orders. We should follow them."

"Following them's not really my style."

"And you're all about style, aren't you?"

"Of the people in this room, which one is A. Wearing a spangly outfit, and B. Not of use?"

Steve sighs. "Just find the cube."

After he's stepped out, you look around awkwardly, wondering what you're supposed to do.

"So, we kind of have everything under control here…" says Mr Stark.

There's a long, awkward pause. You're not really sure what you're supposed to do now. You don't want to bother Dr Banner and Mr Stark while they're working, but you know you'll get told off if you're caught 'slacking off' - and even if you did want to slack off, there's nowhere to go, and nothing to do.

Dr Banner looks up. "Uh, actually, could you come over here a sec?"

You step over slightly too quickly, almost tripping over your own feet. "Uh - yeah?"

"Could you note down these numbers, please?"

"Okay." You start scribbling down the numbers, while trying to calm your racing heart.

This is definitely not what you signed up for.

When you were little, you pictured espionage as being a cool secret agent, wielding lots of crazy gadgets, killing villains, and generally having daring escapades like what you’d read in books. Sort of like James Bond, or Sherlock Holmes, or something.

But even as you grew out of that phase, you still held onto the dream of one day becoming a spy - not in the field, of course; your poker face couldn’t fool a child, but a gadget-master. You had it all planned out in your head; you’d be like Smithers from Alex Rider, sitting in your office, working on your latest invention, and thinking up cool gadgets in your spare time.

But even if this isn't what you signed up for, it's not terrible. Be a genius’s personal assistant, put up with their moods, listen (well, look like you’re listening) to massive infodumps on niche topics you'll never understand, all for a sum that only just pays the bills? Not bad, really.

"Hey, I never caught your name, kid," says Mr Stark suddenly.

You jump at the sound of his voice. "Oh - er - it's L/N."

"You got a first name?"

"It's Y/N. But everybody goes by last names here."

"So, how'd you wind up here?"

You blush. "It's stupid."

Dr Banner looks up. "It's alright. You don't have to tell us if you don't want to."

You nod, and turn back to the numbers, but your mind's elsewhere as you write them down.

Dr Banner seems surprisingly chill for a guy who can turn into the Hulk. Or maybe he just has really, really good self-control. Either way, it's nice to be working for someone who's actually civil for once. You've never been assistant to anyone super nice in the past; some of the other scientists haven't been the most polite in the past.

The worst you had happen to you was when some particularly volatile scientist lost his temper at you for not paying attention to something about some weird niche branch of quantitative chemistry, and threw a conical flask in your direction. (To be fair, he apologised profusely afterward, and was actually alright for the rest of his stay.)

"Y/N?" says Dr Banner.

You look up. "Yeah?"

"I think we're good here."

"O-kay…" Is he trying to get rid of me?

Taking a deep breath, you say, "Well - I don't really have anywhere else to go."

"What do you mean?"

"Well - I - I'm literally just a lab assistant. This is the only job I have here. And even if you give me your express permission to do whatever, if I get caught, it'll cost me my job. I don't have a safety net; my family don't live in New York, and I'm already behind on rent, so if I lose my job…"

Dr Banner looks almost horrified. "Oh, no, no, I don't want you to risk losing your job. I just thought you might want to - you know, not have to stand around? I - I used to be a lab assistant, so I know it gets kind of - boring."

"We're both pretty much done here anyway," adds Mr Stark. "All we have to do is wait for my decryption program to finish breaking into SHIELD's secure files."

You nod. "Yeah, I heard."

"So what do you think, kid? Do you think Fury's hiding something?"

Your heart jumps, but you try not to look too nervous. "Uh… probably? I - never really thought to try and find out…" You're not feeling very comfortable with Mr Stark breaking into SHIELD's secure files, but that small, rebellious, powerful part of you really, really wants to see those files now. And you also don't want to get on his bad side, since your job is more or less in his hands. "Captain America doesn't seem too bothered."

You almost facepalm at your stupid, stupid blunder. Oh, you idiot!

But Mr Stark doesn't seem bothered. "He's a soldier, kid. He's trained to follow orders. Wondering if they shouldn't have kept him on ice?"

That's a bit mean, even if he is a bit too perfect.

"He's not wrong about Loki," says Dr Banner. "He does have the jump on us."

Mr Stark snorts. "What he's got is an ACME dynamite kit. It's gonna blow up in his face. And I'm gonna be there when it does."

Dr Banner smiles. "I'll read all about it."

"Or you'll be suiting up, like the rest of us."

"See, I don't get a suit of armour. I'm exposed, like a nerve. It's a nightmare."

You can't help feeling a pang of - something. Is it pity? Sympathy?

Or is it because you get what he means?

Mr Stark's suddenly serious. "You know, I've got a cluster of shrapnel trying to make its way to my heart. This-" he tapped his light circle -"stops it. This little circle of light is a part of me now. It's a terrible privilege."

"But you can control it."

"Because I learned how."

Dr Banner shakes his head. "It's different."

He tries to get back to his work, but Mr Stark stops him. "Hey, I read all about your accident. That much gamma exposure should've killed you."

"So you're saying the Hulk-" He pauses. Even the mention of the Hulk seems to put him on edge. "You're saying that the other guy saved my life? That's a nice sentiment. Saved it for - what?"

Again, you feel that weird pang. Is this empathy? you wonder. How could I be able to empathise with a guy who's had such a different life than mine? I have no idea what turning into the Hulk is like, but I'm somehow able to understand? How?

"I guess we'll find out," says Mr Stark, after an awkward pause.

"You might not like that," says Dr Banner.

"You just might."

***************************************************

It's the next morning when Director Fury bursts into the lab, every inch of him living up to his name.

"What are you doing, Mr Stark?" he demands.

Oh, no. You know immediately what's happened. SHIELD must have found out that Mr Stark's trying to hack into their computers.

"Kind of been wondering the same about you," remarks Mr Stark.

"You're supposed to be locating the Tesseract."

"We are," says Dr Banner. "The model's locked, and we're sweeping for the signature now. As soon as we get a hit, we'll have the location within half a mile."

"And you'll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss," adds Mr Stark, just as a load of secure files suddenly pop up on the lab computer screen. "What is Phase 2?"

Steve bursts in, slamming a weapon onto one of the benches. "Phase 2 is when SHIELD uses the cube to make weapons. Sorry, the computer was running a little slow for me."

Weapons?

"Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we're-"

Mr Stark interrupts. "I'm sorry, Nick. What - were you lying?"

You stare in shock at the computer screen. Weapon plans. This is what the world is coming to?

"I was wrong, director," says Steve. "The world hasn't changed a bit."

Couldn't agree more. Seriously - did we learn nothing from the last arms race?

Then two other people rush in. One's a medieval giant of a man, and the other's probably an agent.

"Did you know about this?" demands Dr Banner of them.

"You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?" demands the agent.

You hastily step back. Sure, Dr Banner seems to have a pretty tight lid on the Hulk, but from the way the agent's looking at him, you've got a nasty feeling that the lid might be loosening.

Dr Banner just laughs. "I was in Calcutta. I was pretty well removed."

The agent isn't amused. "Loki's manipulating you."

"And you've been doing what, exactly?"

They're manipulating people, too? You're not sure why that would shock you so much, but for some reason, it does.

"You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you."

"Yes, and I'm not leaving just because you get a little twitchy," retorts Dr Banner. "I'd like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to make weapons of mass destruction."

The director points to the medieval giant. "Because of him."

"Me?"

"Last year, Earth had a visitor from another planet that flattened a small town, and we learned that we are hopelessly, hilariously, outgunned."

Okay, that makes sense, but it still doesn't excuse you keeping us all in the dark about this.

"My people want nothing but peace with your planet," says the medieval man.

"But you're not the only people out there, are you? The world's filling up with people who can't be matched or controlled."

"Like you controlled the cube?" demands Steve.

"Your work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it," says the medieval man. "It is the signal to all the realms that Earth is ready for a higher form of war."

"You forced our hand," protests the director. "We had to come up with something?"

"A nuclear deterrent," remarks Mr Stark, his tone dripping sarcasm. "Because that always calms everything right down."

"Remind me how you made your fortune, Stark?"

You back away to the edge of the lab. You're irrelevant here, and you don't want any part in this argument. Besides, if things get ugly, it never hurts to have an escape route.

"You speak of control, yet you court chaos," says the medieval man.

"It's his M.O., isn't it?" says Dr Banner. "I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, we're a chemical mixture that creates chaos. We're a time bomb."

The director steps forward. You can see the fear in his eyes. "You need to step away."

Mr Stark puts an arm around Steve. "Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?"

Steve pushes him away. "You know damn well why! Back off!"

Oh, no. You start to edge towards the door. You don't want to get caught in the crossfire if anyone here starts fighting, least of all Mr Stark and Steve.

The medieval man laughs. "You people are so petty - and tiny."

"Agent Romanoff," says the director, "would you escort Dr Banner back to his-"

"Where?" demands Dr Banner. "You rented my room."

"The cage was just-"

"In case you tried to kill me, but you can't. I know, I tried." You stare at him in shock. "I got low, and I didn't see an end, but the other guy wouldn't let me. So I moved on. I focused on helping people. I was good, until you dragged me back into this freak show, and put everyone here at risk. You want to know my secret? You want to know how I keep myself calm?"

You're almost at the door now. You can see the Sceptre in Dr Banner's hand, and you really don't want to get stabbed today. Or any day.

"Dr Banner, put down the Sceptre," says Steve.

Dr Banner looks shocked to find that he's holding it, and hastily puts it down.

The computer beeping seems to break the tension slightly.

"Sorry, kids," says Dr Banner. "Guess you don't get to see my party trick after all."

He goes over to take a look, and after pausing for a moment, you join him.

You can hear the others starting to argue again, but you don't care. The numbers on the screen are more important right now - even if you're not sure what they mean.

Dr Banner knows, though, and judging from the look on his face, it's not good.

"Oh, my God," he mutters.

Suddenly, an explosion seems to rip the lab apart.

Once your head clears a bit, you realise that you must have fallen through the floor, and that you're trapped under some of the debris.

Looking over, you see Dr Banner on his hands and knees, gripping at the floor, grunting, trying desperately to control himself. You know you should probably go and try to calm him down, but you're so panicked that you have no idea what you would even say.

As you try to pull yourself free, some of the metal falls, making a loud clanging noise.

Dr Banner looks over to you. His eyes are green. You feel a shudder run through you.

"Get - away - from - me!" His voice is changing, slowly morphing into a growl.

The fear that rushes through you gives you the strength you need to pull yourself free, just as the lights go out.

A deafening, primal roar breaks the air, and with it your last nerve.

So you run.

You don't even bother trying to look for an escape. All you're trying to do is keep away from the Hulk.

But it's no use. He's too fast for you.

Finding the stairs, you begin to run up them.

You trip.

In another moment, Hulk's on top of you.

And then everything goes black.

***************************************************

Part 2

As always, I do not give permission for anyone to copy my work, repost it elsewhere, etc.

The inconsistency of writing is fucking with me right now.

Sometimes I write for eight hours straight, then I can't type a single word for a month.

Sometimes I write as though I have been possessed by some kind of divine being, sometimes I literally become illiterate and have to look up every second word.

One day I love my characters, the next I decide how to kill them off — which gives my writing motivation only a temporary boost, but I'll take what I can get.

In the distance, my readers sob for updates and my heart bleeds for them... meh, I still can't be bothered to write right now. I'm kinda bored, though.

please PLEASE learn how to tag your fanfics. Don’t tag fluff when it’s angst, don’t tag smut when it’s fluff and please don’t tag characters that ARENT EVEN MENTIONED IN THE FIC!!!!