My Sincerest Apologies To Everyone I Told That My Allergies Got Worse After Taking Testosterone, Turns

My brain, having a meltdown like a toddler: everything is bad and awful and I absolutely refuse to function in these working conditions *dumps a shitload of adrenaline into the nervous system*

Me, sighing heavily and holding up lorazepam: would ya do it for a Scooby snack?

Promise?

I think I just gained a new personal hero

I feel like pirating media that isn’t sold or offered anywhere legally anymore shouldn’t be called piracy. Girl thats archaeology

Me: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea!?!

My med student best friend who’s had 3 hours of sleep in the last 2 days: Aye aye captain!!

Several seconds of silence

Her: Wait...

Me, putting a hand on her shoulder: It’s okay

It is our duty as feminists to protect and respect women in Hijabs

Prosecution: Your honor, the defendant has been scamming people into buying fake “immortality elixirs” for years!

Defense: Objection! Your honor, the defense requests the prosecution specify exactly how many years?

Prosecution: Gladly, your honor. As you can see from the arrest records submitted into evidence, the defendant has had the audacity to continue committing this felony for 148 years!

Judge: I’m sorry, did I hear that correctly? The defendant has been selling immortality elixirs for 148 years?!

Prosecution: Yes, your honor, the earliest documented arrest was in 1886.

Judge: It’s 2014.

Prosecution: Yes, your honor.

Judge: And you don’t see anything weird about that? Anything at all?

Defense: In light of this stupidity, the defense demands the immediate release of my client followed by a drop of all charges and would like to file a lawsuit against the arresting officer for slander.

Judge: Yes. Right. Bailiff, please release the defendant. Oh, and bring me any of the elixirs taken into evidence.

Super thrilled to learn that people think the scars on the bridge of my nose are from a bridge piercing and not because I fell asleep in my glasses too many times as a kid and the nose piece cut into my face

Also, I like that the myth specifically states Medusa turns any man who looks at her eyes into stone, because when I first heard it my brain automatically decided Medusa was a lesbian and I’ve just had that in my brain for so long that it’s canon now

if medusa wears sunglasses do u not turn to stone