I Am Sitting On The Couch, I Hear Tapping On The Door Behind Me, I Turn Around And See This

*is handed a gender, promptly lists it on ebay*

Important note to all Dracula fans - Coca-Cola was invented in 1886, and the story is set in 1897. This means you can authentically hint at coca-cola in any and all fanworks set around the book’s time period.

(not that it’s very impressive, since Dracula himself wouldn’t drink it, but certainly the American suitor can!)

physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll

If you think about it

you know what? fuck it (unproblematics your fave)

yup we restarted my dudes

Concept: sealed ancient evil unleashed after a thousand years of deathless slumber, except it turns out that its evil was defined entirely in terms of defiance of divinely ordained social hierarchies, and in the meantime the society of the land it once plagued has transitioned from a divine-right monarchy to a parliamentary democracy, so now it’s just having an existential crisis like “what do you mean blasphemy isn’t a crime anymore?”