"Un-uhlaive? UN-UHLAIVE? Ma'am, That Man Has Been Killed. He Has Been MUHDUHED. To DEATH."

does anyone know if we have joy and whimsy tomorrow

How old are you?

I plan to be born sometime next month

Husband just told me he’s going to sit in the car because he’s about to yell at someone on the phone and doesn’t want me to be upset by his yelling and I can’t decide if this is a little sad or kinda hilarious.

person who posted this originally made it unrebloggable so fuck you it’s mine now

I’ve changee my Instagram username after like 9 years of having it, I feel weirdly emotional

we're doomed by the narrative quick let's fuck nasty to subvert it

detective: [kneels down looking over a dead body] hm. gross

park that car drop that phone sleep on the floor dream about me

Pour one out for Grif

Lets orbit around mama