(Seeing A Cis Straight Couple For The First Time) I Think I’m Gonna Be Sick… What The Fuck Do You

i don’t write fanfics i literally just repost them and sob my eyes out.

As it turns out, the mystery basement surprise was just Asbestos. Sad!

How it feels to find a fanfic where your favorite character is going through literally the worst horrors you can imagine

If your husband actually signs the divorce papers you gave him you might just need to start an apocalypse about it…

Divorce Era Jayvik, my beloved, my dearest…

Oh, to be a non-sapient creature that doesn’t have to drive or pay taxes or reply to emails

imma get real Tricky...

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN THE REAL "TRICKY DICK" YET!

Official Timeline

1935: Elvis is born

1943: Elvis meets Vriska Serket (his archnemisis)

1958-1960: Elvis serves in The War (unspecified)

1977: Elvis gets lost in the desert. The Las Vegas government fakes his death to cover up his disappearance

1979: Elvis starts eating beetles and lizards

1989: Elvis eats Paul McCartney

2005: Elvis is trapped in The Orb by the Evil Wizard Saruman

2025: Elvis finds Las Vegas and starts a [tumblr]. He has yet to leave Vegas (no matter how hard he tries)

(All of Elvis's normal life happened intermittently)