You Sound Really Hot, I Love Hairy Men

you are not meant to be afraid of someone who loves you. if they have made you afraid of them, they do not love you.

At 6'2", towering is not something I intentionally do, but it just sort of happens.

use size kink against me. Tower over me. Wrap your hands around my neck and squeeze hard. Tell me how easy it is to manhandle me. Have your way with me. All while praising me, reminding me how tiny I am compared to you.

Lovely aesthetic.

IG: babispitfire

missionary so you'll always remember the sight of me forcibly violating your body no matter how you try to look away and disassociate. I want you to remember the shape of my form over you, pinning you down, so you'll never be able to have sex again without thinking of your rapist💕

(this is just kinky fantasy)

This applies on all sides of play.

How to engage in orientation play/detrans/misgendering ethically

There's a lot of y'all into this kink, and not a lot of education going around. So, here's a little primer. This will focus on online play, because that's what I'm familiar with. First off, an introduction if you're unfamiliar.

What do all these mean?

All of these are kinks that play on expectations of gender and sexuality. They can use bioessentialist elements or simplistic definitions of gender and sexuality to create a framework for kink. This often includes aspects of degradation, dominance and submission, CNC, and more.

Some people may be playing at this and identify strongly as the identity they're playing at (lesbian, trans, ect), some people play at an identity they're not. Both are fine, but it's important to know what you're doing with any given partner.

How do I do it?

That depends on what you want. Some people just follow blogs and get off to it, and if that's all you do that's ok.

Next you'd have making a sideblog (or a new blog) and reblogging some content. Again, cool if you just want to do that.

Some people make text posts, but aren't really willing to engage in it. But where most issues come in is once you start letting people message you, send asks, ect.

How do I keep myself safe?

The most important part is to have a way to recenter after a session. This can fuck with your head, so aftercare, even if you're alone, is important.

Next, boundaries. There's two responsibilities here: following them well and making them clear. In some cases you would do this in a negotiation, but Tumblr can be different. Often, putting your boundaries in your blog in a pinned post or a bio is expected. This can include who you want to talk to you, what kind of negotiations you want before roleplaying or whatever, what play you're here for, what you don't want, what kind of "cold open" messages you want (messages without pre negotiations), ect.

If someone violates them, don't be afraid to speak up. Call a safeword, ghost them, block them if it's too bad. You don't have to take your boundaries being pushed or broken, no matter how long you've talked to them, what you promised, or how popular they are.

But I have no boundaries!

I get it, you're a depraved pervert and you want nothing more than to be fucked with. But most people have boundaries, even if you don't know them. If you find a boundary you didn't know you had, safeword and say something. You're no less of a perverted freak for it.

But even if you truly don't have hard lines in the sand of shit you wouldn't do, you probably have preferences, and it's important to voice that too. Maybe youre ok with being corrupted however, but you really want a dom to detransition you, with a bit of a mommy angle. Say that!!! Advocate for yourself.

Finally, again, block liberally. Don't take shit. And tell people what you want.

I love cnc because it’s just clingy, touchstarved, lonely angels who want to be wanted so bad they need it forced from them. They need to be needed, they need to know that I want them so bad I would hurt them for it. Violate them for it. Break them for it.

It's good to be reminded that the dark places in my head are WANTED, and not to be shunned, so long as they were consented to.

Things to Say to Someone in Top Drop/Dom Drop

I’m okay

I love you

Thank you

It’s alright

I’m not hurt

I’m not hurt too badly

You’re lovely/wonderful/kind

I enjoyed it

It was worth it

Take your time

Do you need anything?

Do you want a cuddle?

Do you want me to get dressed/take the collar off/put the crop away?

Do you want to talk about it?

I’m here

You’re not a bad person

Top drop/dom drop usually comes from shock, guilt or insecurity about the way you have just treated someone whose well-being you care about very much. Like sub drop, it is usually accompanied by a fall in endorphins and general energy levels. Especially for aces (who I find have a greater need to be in the right mindset/’zone’ for play and intimacy), a ‘snap’ moment where you break out of play mode can throw you emotionally, and the end of play causes a similar reassessment or double-take at what happened during the scene.

Dominants in drop require the same kind of care as subs, but a different kind of reassurance.