I’ve Been Thinking About Being A Mom Lately

I’ve been thinking about being a mom lately

I don’t know why but I’ve been thinking about my self as a mother.

I always have.

Since I was a baby

I assumed I was everyone’s mom

I would baby kids my age

As I grew I continued to care for kids my age,

younger,

And then older.

I always dreamed about the hobbies they’d have,

The summer vacations,

I wanted a happy family

I wanted to raise kids to be free to express themselves

Free enough to come to me with anything

Free enough to explore their own lives

And free enough to share their greatness with the world

I’ve always done good hoping to lead by example

And I wanted to raise children who would do the same

I wanted boys who knew how to act and treat women

And girls who would love themselves and help others find that love inside as well

I wanted them to be beautifully contagious

I wanted to raise boys first who knew the meaning of brotherhood

And family

To be strong and selfless

I wanted girls who knew how to be little sisters.

Following under their big brothers footsteps enough to know how to be tough and yet step up to be their own leaders.

I’ve been thinkning about being pregnant

And what it would be like to carry a creation to its grand entrance into This life

I’ve been watching my husband

I watch him interact with babies and his nieces and nephews

And it puts me at peace

I watch him talk to them

Play with them

Teach them the meaning of words

I watch him dance like a dad and I know well be fine

He’s not yet ready to be someone’s husband

As I’m not yet ready to be a wife

But I know that together well be okay

I see him yearning to set an example as a father

And I know well be okay

I see myself watching children

Just trying to figure out what they need and how to make sure they know they’re loved

And I know my children will be alright

I’m not ready for diapers and rashes

But I know past that

Are futures

Dreams

Plans

And it’ll be my job to support them

That I’m excited for