Oh! Uh...don't Mind Me, Just Saving This For....research Purposes.

Why didn't steve do this smh

Back To The Future

Summary: Your husband is Steven Grant Rogers but he crashed a plane into the ocean.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Wife!Reader

Steve had promised you that he’d always come back for you. You weren’t too keen on him doing the super soldier serum but shit, he wanted to be able to protect the love of his life along with his country. It honestly shocked you to see your husband taller and stronger instead ill and weak and asthmatic. He could finally hold you how he always wanted to.

You were sad. You were depressed when you found out that your husband died in the war. You both wanted to start a family after it was all over. You couldn’t find yourself another man like Steve. Peggy Carter took you under her wing. She herself found her own Steve, Daniel Sousa.

“Get out! Get yourself out!” You exclaimed. “You’ve got Danny!”

“No way in hell am I leaving you here to defuse a bomb,” Peggy said.

“Go! I’ve got this! Please just do me this favor for once, Agent Carter!” You yelled.

“You better make it back alive,” she said.

“I will,” you promised her.

She ran and you ran in the other direction. Time was ticking down. You raced to the bomb and were thankful that you slipped on Steve’s old pair of Chuck Taylor’s before going off and helping Agent Carter on her mission that she wasn’t supposed to be doing. You get to the device looking for the perfect wire to cut.

What was supposed to happen was you cut the wrong wire and the bomb explodes killing you instantly. But Steve stands behind you in his quantum suit. He reaches out placing a device in between your shoulder blades. A matching red and white suit starts covering you. His arms wrapped around you. He slips one of the extra watch things that Tony gave him onto your hand before you freak out. He’s quick to press the button on yours and then he presses his as the bomb explodes.

“Wha? Wha- what? Where?” You asked freaking out and your helmet comes off.

You’re standing on a platform right outside of a cabin. A green dude is standing behind these controls that aren’t from your time. He’s shocked as well.

“Darlin’,” Steve said.

You spin around to see your husband standing before you. You slapped him across the face and it stung both your hand and his face. Bucky laughs as well as Sam.

“You aren’t supposed to be bringing people back!” Bruce exclaimed.

“You’re supposed to be dead and where the hell am I?!” You asked.

“It’s 2023, honey. You were supposed to die cutting the wrong wire,” Steve explained with his hands on your biceps. “And I always told you that I’d come back for you.”

“I thought you meant by coming back home after the war was over! Not taking me to the future!” You exclaimed. “Are you an idiot or something?!”

“Yes, he is!” Bucky added.

You turned your head to see your husband’s best friend stand beside this other man.

“You’re supposed to be dead!” You yelled pointing at Bucky.

You and Steve come off the platform. You immediately hugged Bucky since you’re more mad at Steve than him. Bucky happily hugs you back but without the left arm.

“You’re supposed to be dead as well, doll,” Bucky said and he kissed your cheek.

He spins you around to face your husband once more. Steve just smiles at you. You go into his strong arms and he holds you tightly. His lips pressed against yours.

He came back for you.

15K OF PURE FANFICTION DON'T TELL ME THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN IN ONE OF THE MULTIVERSES

No Strings Attached

Ex!Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: “Every time you’ve called me, I’ve come,” Steve says, voice thick with hurt, and you clench your teeth. “Every. Time.”

Warnings: smut! language, hurt, exes to lovers <3

Notes: this is one of my fave oneshots i've ever written tbh. i really love the trope of people breaking up, because of xyz issue, and then the person with xyz issue actively works to resolve or change it, but with no expectation of reuniting, just because they want to be a better person. so ye, that's basically this whole fic lmao

Words: 15,849

You make a sort of doe-eyed blank expression as you listen, that makes your building’s security guard duck his head a little lower into your line of sight and wave his hand.

“Ma’am?” You blink suddenly, snapping out of your spiralling thoughts and focus back on the man’s face.

“Huh?”

He smiles sympathetically and repeats himself.

“I asked if you had anybody who might come stay with you tonight? Super said he can’t get a hold of anybody who can change your lock…” You sigh and look around him at your door, it’s lock busted and breaking through the wood of the door.

You’d arrived home to find it like that, although the cops the security guy had insisted on calling said that it looked like no thief actually made it inside, probably got spooked. Seeing as none of your stuff was stolen or out of place, you’d have said they were right.

You run a hand over your hair and sigh.

“Uhm. Yeah. Yeah I do.” You nod your head, not actually coming up with a name off the top of your head, but you’re sure you’ll think of someone once you have a moment to breathe. The security guard nods.

“Do you want me to wait until they get here?” You smile and shake your head.

“Oh, no, no… it’s fine! I’ll be okay until then!” You assure him. You know he got paid for every hour he spent on the door, and not for any he didn’t.

He checks with you twice more before he leaves, and you shut your busted door behind him, slipping your side table in front of it in the meantime before you fumble through your bag for your phone.

You stare at your home screen for a solid two minutes, mind going over the people you’d feel comfortable calling, who you’d actually feel safe having stay with you overnight, and for the life of you, you can only come up with one name.

Unfortunately, this name belonged to your ex.

It wasn’t as if you and Steve Rogers hadn’t broken up amicably, or at least, you hadn’t ended badly, but for a moment you debate with yourself on if you really need to call anyone at all. You think about sleeping, knowing your apartment door was basically open.

You bring up his contact.

The first thing you see is a list of past calls and texts, the date signalling that the last time you’d called him had been almost seven months ago, and for a moment your eyes linger on that.

Seven months? It hardly felt like it, really.

You and Steve had met through work. You worked in the forensics at Avengers Tower, and so you’d occasionally see each other when the team had lab work to be done. It had been a slow progression for him to ask you out, and when he had, the two of you dated successfully for an entire year. Things were always slow with Steve, due in part to his schedule making it hard to really get anything done. If he wasn’t on a mission, he was resting from a mission, and the times you did go out or see one another were a lot less than you would have liked.

It’s why you broke up.

Steve was a great guy, the best you’d ever dated, but his work was his first true love and honestly? You required more attention than he could give. You weren’t needy exactly, but when you made a plan, you tended to expect to follow through. Steve’s last minute missions, or his cancelling and rescheduling was understandable in his line of work, and if had only been every so often, you’d have been just fine.

But it wasn’t, and you weren’t.

And so… you’d broken up. You’d explained to him that while you really liked him, you just didn’t mesh well together. He’d been understandably upset, but had told you he got it. You’d parted on good terms, with only a residual sadness lingering behind. Even now, you felt a small jolt of angst at even seeing his name written. Really, Steve was your perfect guy, and if he’d ever been around, you might’ve been able to experience more of that perfection.

You shake your thoughts aside and tap the call button, bringing the phone to your ear and waiting as the dial tone rings out. You can’t help but chew your lip as you wait, anxiety beginning to well up.

What if he didn’t answer?

What if he was on a mission?

What if he saw your name, and then didn’t answe—

“Hello?” You nearly gasp at hearing his voice, seven months suddenly feeling longer than before and you swallow thickly to remember why you were even calling in the first place.

“Steve… hey, it’s uh, me…”

“Yeah, I… I have caller ID on this phone.”

“Finally switch from the flip, huh?” You can’t help but shoot back, smile covering your features when you hear his warm chuckle on the other side.

“Yeah, it was time to change things up… Is everything okay?” Maybe he can hear it in your voice, or maybe he’s just that confused as to why you’re randomly calling him at ten on a Tuesday night, but you hear a note of concern in his reply that makes you want to curl up into a ball.

“Um… not really, no… I got home a little while ago and someone had tried breaking into my place—”

“—What? Are you okay? Did they take anything?!” You chuckle awkwardly at his immediate worry.

“Yeah, no— I mean, yes I’m okay, no they didn’t take anything.” You assert, and can practically see him letting out a breath.

“Uhm… I do have a favour to ask though, and I wouldn’t call if I had anybody else, but—”

“—Of course, whatever it is, just let me know.” You let out a shaky sigh and swallow again.

“The lock on my door is busted, and my super can’t get anybody in to fix it until tomorrow… I just… really don’t want to sleep here alone, with a broken door…” On the other side of the line you can hear keys clinking, and feel your tummy flop in dangerous ways.

“I’m coming out now. You want me to stay on the line?” You could fall to your knees and praise every god in existence for the special kind of beautiful Steve Rogers was.

“No, I’m okay, I just don’t wanna be alone later…” You cringe a little at how that might sound like a proposition, but Steve only hums.

“‘Course. I’ll see you in ten.”

When you hang up, you stare down at your phone for a few seconds.

And then you promptly drop it, head whipping around your messy living-kitchen space and quickly get to work tidying it to a presentable degree.

—-

Steve arrives almost exactly ten minutes later, the light knocking on your door followed by his voice.

“Hey, it’s just me!” He says, and you hurry to slide your end table out of the way, your door pretty much swinging open by itself.

For a moment you can only stare at him, dark blue jeans, white t-shirt, brown leather jacket. He’d grown his beard out since you saw him last, thick and golden and groomed just right to hit you in the lady parts. He seems fixated on you as well, though recovers far more gracefully, eyes dipping to look at your splintered door and he whistles.

“When you said it was busted, you meant it huh?” He asks, and you laugh, a little awkwardly, pulling the door wider as you usher him inside.

“Yeah… cops said they must have gotten scared off before they got inside. None of my stuff is missing or moved.” You explain, closing the door behind him, and when he sees you move for the table, steps forward to help you, looking at your makeshift barricade up and down for a moment when you’re done.

“Good. That’s good.” You look up at him again as silence falls upon your apartment, and find he’s already looking back at you. Realising you hadn’t even changed from work yet, and you’d cried a little bit after discovering the break-in, you attempt to smooth your hair down and wipe any potential makeup from under your eyes.

“Jesus, I must look like a mess.” You sort-of apologise, trying to play it off with a chortle, but Steve shakes his head, smiling kindly.

“Not at all.” Is all he says, and you hate the fact the completely non-committal sentence makes your belly flop again.

“Oh, uh, can I get you anything? Coffee, tea? I think I have a six pack in the fridge…?” You gesture to your kitchen, but move for your fridge anyway, Steve shoving his hands in his pockets as he follows, shrugging his shoulders. You find the beer behind your salad, and pull it out.

“Well, I’m having one.” You tease, setting the pack on the counter as you attempt to pull a bottle from the plastic rings. Maybe you’re just too exhausted, maybe this particular plastic was just stronger than you, but it doesn’t budge and Steve steps forward, hands already out.

“Let me…” He offers, even as you let him take your chosen bottle from you, tearing it out as if it were nothing. It likely wasn’t, for him, and you swallow, the room feeling warmer suddenly.

“Thanks. Help yourself.” You nod to the pack, a little thankful he takes one too, placing the rest back in your fridge.

“I uhm, I might go shower and change, I haven’t even thought about that yet…” You gesture down at yourself again, and Steve nods.

“Whatever you need.” He tells you, and then points to your couch.

“Mind if I watch the game?” You frown, but nod anyway.

“Who’s playin’?” You both move over into your living room, and you quickly find and toss him your remote.

“Mets vs Giants.” He says, and you ‘ah’, watching for a moment as he flicks to the right channel, your eyes finding the score and you wince, turning back to him.

“Hope you don’t have any bets on your boys.” You say, faux-sympathy dripping from your voice. Steve gives you an unimpressed eyebrow, pointing at you.

“We’ll come back.”

“If it makes you feel better.” You tack on, but burst into a laugh as he rolls his eyes, making himself comfortable on your couch. You note with mild amusement he takes the same spot he would always take up, before you’d broken up. Apparently one of your couch cushions was just comfier than the rest.

You leave him there to go get cleaned up at last, and relish in the hot water as you do little more than just stand under it for ten minutes. Despite your stress from the past few hours, you feel oddly light, Steve’s sudden reappearance back in your life, in your apartment making you feel a little woozy, but only in a good way.

You try to tell yourself that it was only because your breakup had been so amicable, if he were any of your other ex’s you wouldn’t be feeling the way you do…

You dry off and dress quickly, throwing your hair up before stepping back out into the living room. Crossing your arms over your chest in some subconscious way of shutting yourself off to how damn good he looked, you take a seat on the opposite end of the couch, grabbing your beer again and tipping it back.

“Cops get the security footage from the hall?” He asks, one hand around the neck of the bottle he rests on his thigh, the other thrown over the back of the couch toward you, almost invitingly. You blink for a moment as you process his question and hum.

“Yeah. But it’ll probably get written off if the guy didn’t, you know, look straight into the camera or something. You know how they are.” Steve tears his eyes from the TV and looks at you with a frown.

“You get a case number? I’ll follow up tomorrow, make sure they—” Before you can really stop yourself, you cut him off.

“—Steve you don’t have to do that.” The blond shuts his mouth, and you can practically hear the words unspoken.

‘Because you aren’t my boyfriend’. For a moment you can both only stare, until Steve nods and looks away, his brow smoothing out as he relaxes, but the tick in his jaw tells a different story.

“Well, let me know if you need to…” You can’t help but smile a little, behind the rim of your beer, and you take another sip before turning back to the game.

The Mets make a comeback and you finish the night cursing under your breath. You weren’t a Giants fan by any means, but you made a habit of rooting for anybody going against the Mets.

Steve helps you pack away the light snacks and empty beer bottles, all the while wearing a smug grin, and you can’t even stay too annoyed. Smug and playful was always a good look on him.

As you put away the last of the rubbish, you yawn a little and check the time.

“I might head to bed… I’ll get you some pillows and stuff…” You announce, and ignore when he looks up at you in favour of making for the linen closet. You do however grab the pillow from your bed that you know he used to favour, and lay it all out on the couch. When you look up again, Steve is pulling his jacket from his shoulders, and laying it over the back of the opposite couch.

“Uhm, if you need to leave, could you just wake me up?” You ask, stepping back, and Steve frowns deeply, cocking his head.

“Leave? Why would I need to leave?”

“I don’t know… if you’re needed, I guess…” You shrug, shifting awkwardly and for a few seconds Steve’s face filters through a few emotions. Confusion, concern, offence, and then some sort of resignation.

“I— you know if you really needed me, I wouldn’t leave… right?” He asks, and you feel something stir in your chest. It isn’t exactly positive like all the other feelings you’d been having tonight, more like a sting of annoyance, of hurt and you purse your lips, shrugging again and looking to the side.

“I don’t know. You’re important, I’m sure people would need you a lot more than me.” You don’t mean to sound so passive aggressive, but you can’t help it.

He’d never made a point of making sure he’d be around before, the fact you even caught him on an off night is surprising to you. Steve’s brow dips and he opens his mouth, but you cut him off once again, pointing to the kitchen.

“Feel free to take whatever you want from the fridge, I’ll make sure not to sleep in too much… goodnight, Steve.”

You turn on your heel and don’t wait for a reply, shutting your bedroom door behind you. You know he can still hear whatever you do perfectly, so you don’t let out a sigh, or groan at your own fat-headedness, instead you switch off all your lights and settle under your covers.

In seven months you hadn’t felt out of place once in your room, but now, with Steve sleeping in the next room, your bed suddenly feels all too big.

—-

Strangely, despite your pass-agg comments, after that night you and Steve actually begin speaking again. At first it was just his texted check ups, making sure your door got fixed, making sure you were alright, making sure the cops did their jobs… it was sort of nice actually, to be friends with Steve again. He’d even shown his face down in forensics. You know his lack of attendance, Nat, Sam or Bucky showing up in his place, hadn’t been coincidental post your breakup, but the first day he shows up to deliver evidence for testing, you almost sigh at how much you’d missed seeing his face down there.

You actually think you become closer than you had been before, platonically that is. Steve doesn’t seem to make any moves toward rekindling your romance, and honestly? You were just fine with that. Steve was a great guy, but you couldn’t deal with his schedule… even if he did seem to be around more these days.

You don’t ask. You don’t even really think about it, instead chalking it up to good timing and coincidence.

You were wrong though.

Steve clinks the top of his glass with Sam’s as the man passes him his refilled drink, and the three men, including Bucky, settle back down around their seats on the Tower’s balcony.

“So, hey, can I ask you something?” Sam clears his throat some, and Steve cocks his head, gesturing for him to go ahead.

“You and Doc… are you guys like… getting back together, or…?” The blond squints, his face scrunching up a little as he looks off, sighing some.

“We’re just friends.”

“Yeah, but I mean, you went from not talking at all to hanging out again.” Bucky chimes in, and Steve shrugs, eyes finding his shoes.

“I don’t think she’s interested anymore. If friendship is all she wants, it’s what I’ll give.” Sam and Bucky make eye contact, sharing a frown between them and Sam leans forward slightly.

“Sure, but man, you changed up your whole shit for her… You don’t even wanna try again?” Steve sighs and finally looks back up at them.

“It wasn’t necessarily for her… but she was right. How am I supposed to foster any sort of relationship if I don’t make time for it? What we do is important, but I have to be able to prioritise other things. It’s not fair on anybody in my life.”

Bucky hums. He for one was glad Steve had taken a slight step back from the Avengers. Not only did it mean Sam and Rhodey were given more chances to lead, but it had upped the pressure on everyone slightly, in a good way. Previously Bucky would have felt anxious going on a solo mission with another member who wasn’t Steve or Sam, but now he regularly went on ops with Wanda, his bonds with other members growing immensely.

He clears his throat and reaches out to squeeze Steve’s shoulder some.

“I know how you felt about her, but I think you did the right thing.” Steve gives the dark-haired man a long look and a soft smile, ducking his head.

“What was that thing your Ma used to say?” He asks, and Bucky frowns a moment, before his face lights up again in recognition.

“‘Some folk only bless your life so you can learn from them’.” He says, and Steve hums, raising his glass.

“I’ll drink to that.”

—-

It’s late, you should really be asleep by now, but you’ve been lying awake for hours now. Springtime in New York made the night air warmer than you were used to, and the slightly hot feeling of your body was not helping.

You growl in annoyance and switch your vibrator off, tossing it lightly into the open drawer of your bedside table. Between your thighs your clit still throbs slightly, but you hadn’t been able to make yourself cum in the almost two hours you’d been trying, and your hand was going numb from all the vibrations.

You were damn near desperate. You needed to be fucked, good and proper and thoroughly. With only a moment's hesitation, you reach for your phone and tap out a text.

You up?

Steve: Is everything alright?

It’s fine. Come over?

There’s a minute or so where you see the three dots appear as Steve begins typing, before they disappear, and then reappear, only to disappear once more. You almost smile to yourself. He was unsure.

Come over, pleeeaaaseeee?

Steve: … Are you alright?

You huff this time, and purse your lips. You could be forward here and now, giving him an out, or you could wait till he arrived, which might be far less convenient for your pride if he rejected you.

I need you… please…

This time Steve doesn’t type and then retype his messages, instead you’re forced to stare at your read receipt for a full two minutes before a reply comes back, your body lighting on fire the second you process the four little words.

Steve: Be there in ten.

Anticipation builds in you like a storm, and you quickly straighten your sheets, spritz some perfume, fix your hair a little, and pull on a gown, all in time for the knock on your door. The sound is curt and tense and you swallow thickly as you hurry to answer it, sliding your locks back before swinging it open.

Steve stands once again in dark jeans, this time with a dark grey sweater on. His hair was slightly damp still, messy, and you figure he must have just gotten out of his the shower when you’d texted. His eyes find you quickly, a little wide, a little confused, and with all the desperation from the past two hours fueling you, you pounce on him.

You’re lucky he’s as stable and strong as he is, you throw yourself bodily at him, arms wrapping instantly around his neck, your lips pressing to his own hungrily and he returns in kind, one hand steadying you around your middle, the other tangling up into your hair at the back of your head. You almost mewl at the way his hand clutches at your scalp, and you let him walk you back inside, his foot kicking your door closed behind you.

You keep moving, until your back hits your kitchen bench, and you take the moment to pull open your gown, letting it fall to the floor as your hands move for his own sweatshirt. The fabric is quickly discarded, and you’re a little surprised to hear Steve’s groan at your skin on skin contact, his hands beginning to roam more adventurously now. You weren’t keen on messing around for too long, and you make quick work of his belt, letting him kick his shoes off before he shucks the jeans down himself, stepping out of them, all without pulling his lips from yours.

You sigh into his mouth as he captures your tongue with his own, bearing down on you intently, his hands holding you tightly against his own body like he was trying to pull you into himself. You let a hand drop from his face to the hardness against your abdomen and allow yourself to relish in the soft gasps Steve lets out when you pump your fist over him several times, before increasing your pressure, making him all out moan.

His lips fall away from yours, instead he trails sloppy kisses along your cheek and down your neck, pausing to adjust, widening his legs some. With your mouth free, you find the time to speak.

“This… this is just sex, alright? It’s not… it’s just sex…” You tell him, feeling how for a moment he pauses, and you dread it for a second when he pulls away a little to look down at you. His expression is unreadable, but he’s nodding soon, and you breathe out in relief.

“Gotcha.” Is all he says, and you’re forced to release his length as a moment later you’re hoisted up. Your legs wrap around him, even as you’re set on your countertop, and his mouth moves back to yours. It’s your turn to gasp when his hand drops between your thighs, fingers immediately dipping into the dampness at your core, a touch you’d been craving for too long.

“You really needed it that bad, you had to call me?” His voice is low, and you shiver. Steve’s bedroom talk was always amazing, and now, for some reason, the fact you weren’t even together makes it better. It felt dirtier, more obscene, and you nod, panting as he pulls his lips away from yours, his eyes falling to watch his hand slide from your folds.

You swallow, leaning back on the counter as he becomes more purposeful, two fingers prodding at your entrance, his thumb gravitating to your clit, already overstimulated. When he pushes his two fingers inside you, you let your head fall back and your eyes close, widening your legs even more to give him room to work as he begins slowly pumping back and forth.

“F-fuck…” You breathe, toes scrunching as his fingers move a little faster, curling them slightly to run along your g spot and you feel your legs start to quiver already. He seems to anticipate your squirming though, and uses his free hand to hold one leg, the other he keeps open with his own thigh, moving quicker now. A slower moment lets him insert another finger, and soon you’re clutching around his neck again, needing something tangible to hold on to as he strokes you to finish.

“Steve! Steve, fuck, don’t— please don’t— ah!” You try to catch your breath before you even lose it, but you only swallow down more air as you cum, your hips shaking involuntarily against his hand as he continues to ride you through it, thumb never letting up over your clit until your head lolls back once more.

You’re about to speak, praise him perhaps, when his fingers pull away, taking your hips instead and any words you have are punched out of you with the feel of his hands drawing you onto his cock. You scramble for a hold again, gasping and moaning at the same time as you wrap your arms tightly around his neck.

“Holy fuck…!” You whimper, Steve already curling his hips up and into you, all the while lifting you from the counter itself to bounce you against his standing lap.

He liked this, you remember, liked being able to hold you up all on his own, control the pace, control his movement and yours.

“That okay?” His lips move against your cheek and you nod vehemently, a hand carding through the back of his hair.

“Yes! Fuck, fuck, I need it!” You squeeze your eyes closed as he really starts setting a pace, and you feel that deep spot inside of you that hadn’t been touched in months begin to light up. Regardless of your relationship issues, Steve had always been good in bed, his body fitting into your perfectly, his desire matching up with yours similarly so.

“Yeah? You need it, baby? … shit, I’ll give it to you, sweetheart.” His voice is like molten honey, running over you warm and sticky sweet, and you can’t help it, you pout a little, nodding at his words.

“Please… please!” You whine. You know how much he loved to feel needed, in and out of the bedroom, but that didn’t mean your mewling was all for show. You’d finished once, yes, but you were so pent up you were still rearing to go and Steve’s cock pounding into you hurriedly was only spurring you on. You needed release and he was going to give it to you. Your mind always went a little hazy, a little blank when he’d have you like this, you’d do practically anything he asked, and he knew it.

“Come on, sweetheart, one more, wanna feel you squeeze me…” You whine again with his added words, his lips nipping your ear and you nod, face falling into the crook of his neck as he continues to pant and puff with effort. Your sounds start becoming shorter, more gasped and as he slows to level you with long, deep strokes, your orgasm rolls over you, gentler than the last, though powerful still, amplified by the feel of your cunt actually clutching, gripping onto something as your muscles tense and flutter.

Steve groans, keeps up the longer, slower strokes until you begin to relax again, and with little warning, pulls out. He presses his cock against your inner thigh, but pumps with one hand until he’s sighing airily, thick hot streams of cum streaking over your thigh and abdomen as you watch.

For some reason, all you can think about for a few seconds is how he’d never come on you before. Always inside you, condom or raw, and the change in behaviour confuses you for a moment, but you don’t intend on asking.

You both pant heavily, still partially leant against one another as you catch your breath, and you feel a slight awkwardness settle over you. Would things be weird now? Would he expect more from this? For a moment you have to admit it was nice being back in his arms, nice to pretend he was yours, but reality sets in and you cool off.

Even if he was still your boyfriend, he would never really be ‘yours’. Not while he shouldered so much of the world’s responsibilities.

Steve settles you back on the lip of the counter, and you jump slightly at how cool it feels against your bare skin. As you finally make eye contact, a pit opens in your gut. Steve after sex was always a sight to behold, his hair hanging in his face, his cheeks flushed red and his lips swollen and parted… it makes your stomach lurch in longing, and you quickly clear your throat, gently pushing him back so you can stand.

Finding your robe on the floor, you quickly pull it on despite the sweat covering your skin, and look back toward Steve, though you avoid his eye contact.

“Uhm, do you want to wash up before you go?” You know if sounds a bit harsh, but you’d made it clear to him before you’d properly gotten started that this was just sex. You couldn't bring yourself to expect anything more from him, and risk another broken heart.

Steve blinks, and you see a brief moment of hurt flash across his features before they harden somewhat, and he straightens, tucking himself back into his pants gingerly and collecting his sweatshirt.

“It’s alright, I… I’ll clean up at home.” He says, and you have to cross your arms over your chest at the tight feeling that begins constricting you.

“Okay.” Steve hesitates, looks at you a moment too long before he nods to the door.

“I’ll get out of here.” He says, sounding far more casual than he had a moment ago, as if nothing at all had just transpired between you, and you latch onto that ease, making it easier for you to play along too.

“No worries…” You trail him to the doorway, holding it open behind him as he steps through and turns around. His mouth is open, poised to say something but for some unknown reason you decide to cut him off, a hand shooting out to land on his arm, and you squeeze just a little.

“Thank you, Steve.” You want to cringe at the sound of thanking somebody after sex, but really, it was more about the fact for the second time in a row he actually came when you’d needed him… even if the second was a far more rival affair…

Steve blinks at you slowly from under his long lashes, in that dreamy way he does when he’s thinking something sweet or mushy, and again your insides twist. He only ducks his head further and swallows, a small smile pulling at his lips, far too innocent for the acts you’d just committed barely inside your doorway.

“Of course, uh, anytime…” You snort a little bit, rolling your eyes, but he gives you a final little wave before you shut your door behind him.

You’re left staring at your living room and kitchen counter, eyes fixated on the spot you’d been hauled up against just minutes ago. Your mind immediately begins the playback and you groan, remembering the mess still on your thighs and between them, suddenly more bothersome and uncomfortable than it had been previous, and you retreat to your shower, questioning yourself on if sleeping with your ex, who you’d only just begun talking to again, was a good idea.

—-

You walk in on Steve almost kissing someone.

It’s one of Tony’s parties, the big ones, where he invites everyone and absolutely insists everybody comes, even if he’s only on face-name basis with them. It was actually the first gathering you’d been to with the Avengers since you and Steve broke up, certainly the first since you’d started fucking again. It was good to see Sam and Bucky and the others outside of a work environment, and you think from their genuine smiles and the way Sam keeps talking you into one more round of pool, that maybe they missed you too.

You finally manage to duck out from under Sam’s arm, in search of a bottle of water, when you stumble into the private kitchen, where you’d been told the fridge was stocked full. At first your brain lights up.

Steve was in here! You’d hardly spoken to him all night! But then his hand registers, more specifically, the hip his hand is on registers, and your eyes suddenly piece together the scene before you.

A young woman, pretty, you think you know her from HR actually, leans with her back against the counter, her hands both wrapped around Steve’s biceps. One of his arms is around her waist, the other on her hip and they’re both smiling softly, if not shyly, heads so close their lips are barely apart when you accidentally squeak in surprise.

Steve pulls away instantly, even before he’s seen it’s you, and you realise that whoever this woman was to him, it was new. Steve was always a little skittish with PDA with new relationships. You’d seen it with Sharon, before yourself, and then again with your own relationship… and now with this.

“Oh! I—!” You feel your face go warm and you mouth wordlessly for a moment as you point to the fridge. The woman ducks her head in slight embarrassment and awkwardness and you do feel terrible, despite the wave of grief that overcomes you at the fact Steve was actually moving on.

Not that he wasn’t allowed to… you just hadn’t thought he’d do it first.

“Uh, just, water…” You stutter, suddenly feeling rather sick. Steve follows your pointing, even as you begin to move, avoiding his eyes. It shouldn’t be so weird! The situation the two of you had was strictly no strings attached! Steve was allowed to start dating, so were you! Still… that didn’t mean you wanted to walk in on him about to lay it on a woman that wasn’t you.

You rush out of the room with your water before anybody can gain enough sense to actually talk, and you tuck yourself back between Sam and Nat quickly.

You spy Steve and the woman leaving the kitchen a short while later, and though you don’t see even a bit of smudged lipstick or beard burn, your mind starts to whir in anger. But you know it's unjustified, and you curse yourself for being nearly a year out of your relationship, and still jealous. You consider breaking it off with Steve in the coming week, but your mind wanders back to the way he’d tipped his head back in a moan only days before, the thick column of his throat bobbing as he swallowed, his hands bruising on your hips as you rode him hard.

You decide instead that you’ll just act as if you’d never seen anything at all in the kitchen.

—-

Moving on is… hard.

Not necessarily out of some romantic idea that Steve was ‘The One’, in fact you’re more resolved against anything romantic with him now than you were before, more so because you were… picky.

Even if you lower your standards, every guy you seem to give a chance ends up firmly in your ‘no’ pile after a few dates or less. Most of the time it was because your interests didn’t align, you found them boring or you just weren’t attracted to each other, but occasionally one slips through.

Tom, his name was and Tom was nice. He was polite, handsome, you could talk about both shared interests and your jobs (he worked for the city morgue). Tom was good. You were still unsure of anything long term, or anything serious at all for that matter, but for someone to hang out with and occasionally be kissed by, you could do a lot worse than Tom.

He takes you out almost like clockwork every Friday or Saturday night since you’d met (that was four dates so far), you’d get dinner, maybe some drinks, walk around for a bit, and then he’d kiss you goodbye at your door. It was sweet. Tonight though, tonight you aren’t after sweet at all.

A SHIELD agent you know has her birthday, or maybe it’s a joint party? You aren’t sure, all you know is that it’s at a club, you look hot as hell, and if Tom doesn’t put his hands on you later you’ll burst at the seams.

The club is dark and loud, meant for dancing and drinking, not conversation and polite small talk, and the moment the bouncer sees you inside, you grab Tom by the hand and drag him along, a wicked smile thrown over your shoulder. You do the customary rounds, saying hello to people you know, introducing Tom. You even manage to figure out who the birthday girl is, and give her a hug. You’re aware when you lean over the table to do so that your already short skirt rides up further, and you’re aware tom is standing right behind you, watching.

You make sure not to drink much, you had plans for later after all, but you act a little giddier than you are, letting your hand linger on Tom’s thigh, holding on to him more than normal. You coax him out to the dance floor and that's where you get him. Hot bodies writhe to a beat, pressed up against one another, it doesn’t seem as obscene in the dark. You grind your hips back into Tom’s, his hands snaking their way around your hips and you smile, because you know.

In the dim light and through the throng of bodies, a flash of familiar stops you for a moment. Blonde hair, wide shoulders, beard, beer in hand, untouched… You swallow for a second as you make eye contact with Steve. He must have been invited too, must not have had a mission to go on to get out of it either. Before he can lift an eyebrow or do anything at all, you look away, wrapping your arms around Tom’s shoulders, you lean into his ear.

“Let’s get out of here.”

This… this had not been what you’d had in mind.

Your bedroom is lit only by a spare few candles that flicker your shadows against the wall, and you watch them absently for a second longer, before dropping to rest on your elbows, your body moving in the rythmeric back and forth each time Tom’s hips gently buck into yours.

He can’t see your face since he’s got you on your hands and knees, and you’re glad for it, because you’re not sure you could fake it even if you tried. It wasn’t that it didn’t feel good, it was just… you aren’t sure… he touched you like he wasn’t supposed to, and if you’re honest it felt less like he was having sex with you and more like he was just having sex. You could be anyone right now, and he probably wouldn’t care.

Tom pants and moans and then stops, his hips stuttering gently before he pulls out and away from you.

“Bin in the bathroom?” He asks, and you plaster on your best post-sex look, and nod, rolling over in time to see him disappear into your ensuite to dispose of the condom. When he returns, you go about cleaning yourself up.

“That was great.” He chimes, and you offer him a smile. At least somebody had fun, though you note a little bitterly how he hadn’t even asked about you. Maybe Tom wasn’t so nice.

“Yeah!” You enthuse. You already knew he wasn’t going to stay the night, he’d made sure to tell you as much before you’d begun. You pull on a gown and help him dress and gather his things.

At the front door he kisses you chastely, and tells you he’ll call in the morning. Mentally, you cross him off your list, and close your door.

You seeth while you change your sheets, getting angrier and angrier over your situation. You should have known from the start there was no spark with Tom, you shouldn’t have tried to kid yourself! And he should have at least tried to make you cum!

A quick glance at the time tells you it's not too late, and you send off a text, expecting a gentle refusal.

What you don’t expect however, is Steve arriving at your apartment twenty minutes later, angry as all hell, and he all but pushes past you when you’ve opened the door, coming to stand in your living room with his hands on his hips, his brow low and his lips in a thin line.

“Are you serious?” He asks at last, when you’ve stood staring at one another for long enough. He gestures absently, but his hand comes back to his hip.

“Wha—”

“—Don’t.” He says sharply, and you shut your mouth. This was different… you’d never really seen Steve angry before, let alone angry with you… it doesn’t at all help your current situation though, and you swallow, adjusting your stance.

“You know damn well I saw you leave with him earlier! I can smell the sex in the air. You haven’t had enough already tonight?” The words are harsh and hurt lances through you momentarily, before defensiveness takes over and you cross your arms over your chest, lifting your chin a little.

“Excuse me? Who I spend time with and how is none of your business!” Steve scoffs and looks off for a moment, a mirthless smile on his face.

“Right. But you still want me to fuck you after anyway.” The vulgarity is new as well, and it occurs to you in the back of your mind, that he must be really pissed with you.

“If you didn’t want to come, you should have just said no!” You say, your voice sounding a little more shrill and a little more crackly than you want it too. All your bravado aside, Steve was imposing when he was angry, and the fact that anybody yelling at you, let alone him, was enough to make you cry, gives your voice a shake you didn’t ask for. Not to mention that you really hadn’t expected him to show up at all, especially angry.

Steve looks back at you, his fuming expression not exactly subsiding, but it softens some, and he drops one hand from his hip to rub at his brow before he looks back up at you, more exasperated now than anything else.

“Why did you call me?” He sounds tired, but you know an olive branch when you see one, and you snatch it, stepping closer, ducking your head.

“Why do you think…?” You shrug and purse your lips before looking up at him again.

“He was shit. You aren’t.” His shoulders square just a little at your words, and you know it's a bit of a low blow, any guy was likely to be more inclined to having sex with you if you compared him positively incomparison with another man. Steve cocks his head, lids dipping slightly and you know you’ve got him hook, line, and sinker.

“Is that right?” You’re right in front of each other now and you let your hands wind up around his neck, playing demure as he fixes you with a knowingly amused look, his hands landing firmly at your waist.

“Mhmn.” You hum, nodding, shrugging once again.

“He didn’t know how.” You say, pouting as Steve dips his face closer to yours, and again you find yourself pretending that this wasn’t just sex, that these arms where ones you could be wrapped in whenever you wanted.

“Didn’t know how to what?” Steve asks, voice deep and rumbly in his throat, his breath coasting over your lips, and you lean in quick, nipping at his mouth chastley, feeling his hands tighten at your waist.

“Didn’t know how to take care of me.” Magic words, really. Steve is on you in seconds, mouth devouring your own, the warmth of him engulfing and you let yourself sink into the fever.

Perhaps some of that anger still simmers under the surface, because he fucks you hard, his thrusts just a little more pointed, his fingers digging a little deeper into your skin. His teeth nibble at your lower lip making you keen for him with another gasp as his hips snap against yours once again.

He’s covering you completely, chest to chest, his arms rest around your head, caging you in, and you grasp onto him wherever you can, hiking your thighs higher around him as he drives into you quickly.

“You know, if I wanted to make a point,” Steve begins, his voice raspy and puffed slightly, and you peel your eyes open to look at him, his face so close to yours it almost makes you cross-eyed.

“I’d not make you cum either.” He finishes, and you start, a slight wave of panic setting in, and you open your mouth to preemptively beg, but then he’s shifting, a hand sliding between your sweaty bodies, fingers pawing until they find your clit, and you suck in air sharply.

Steve wears a lazy but wicked grin, and he begins swirling his fingers over your bundle of nerves, dropping his face low enough that when he speaks his lips brush over yours.

“But I like watching you cum while I fuck you.” As your breathing shallows, Steve seems to swallow down each short breath, eyes never leaving your face as you quickly feel your release creep up on you, his harsh, deep strokes combined with the rough pads of his fingertips rapidly spinning circles and you’re falling.

Steve uses his body to hold you down, prevent you from shaking or jerking too much as you topple over the edge of release, your pussy clutching onto his cock even as he grunts, continuing to grind into you as you call out his name over and over.

He drops his face to your neck as your senses come back to you, your brain feeling light and your eyesight a little dimmed from the sensations. You know any second now he’ll pull out, jerk himself until he spills on your stomach or thigh like he always seemed to nowadays, but something ticks in your brain, raw and primal and you hook your ankles as best you can behind him, raking your fingernails over his back in marks that will disappear by morning.

“She tighter than me, Steve?” You feel his head start to lift a little, but you gently bite at his earlobe, stopping him.

“Does she feel this good when you’re fucking her?” Something switches then in the atmosphere of the room, he picks up his pace again, and you jump when one hand fists in the back of your head, pulling your neck back and away. Steve glares down at you, though his game is half given away by the grunt he gives a second later.

“Shut up.” He says, though it isn’t half as harsh as you expect, and he rolls his eyes some, dropping his lips down to your exposed throat now and you feel a thrill run through you.

“Does she let you fuck her like this or is it gentle missionary only?” You press on, yelping a little when teeth scrape at your skin warningly, and the hand in your hair tightens, pulling.

“Because you know I’d let you have me any which way… on my knees, under you, over you… fuck,” You pause, panting a little with effort as he fucks you even harder, each word punched out of you.

“Fuck, I’d let you have my ass if you brought the lube…” Triumph colours you as Steve  groans, gasping almost, his fist at your scalp a little painful as he curls his hips deep once, twice, three times more before you feel him finish, and he stills.

Your bodies are hot and sticky with sweat against one another, and you can feel him shake a little in his come down as he finally relaxes.

Like always, in the aftermath you’re both silent for a few moments before Steve lifts his head, his chest heavy against your own, and he fixes you with a unconvincingly unamused expression.

“Thought I told you to shut up?” He asks, shifting to hold up more of his own weight, and you pretend to not hear him, cocking your head.

“Towel?” He seems to relent, rolling off of you and sinking into your mattress as you hop up, moving to your bathroom to grab a spare towel.

When you return, you almost falter for a few seconds in the doorway, swallowing thickly. Steve lies on your bed, one arm hooked under his head, naked as anything, looking like he belonged there. Your chest lurches, and your stomach falls to your knees as you force yourself to keep moving, gently tossing the towel at him as you gather your gown once again.

You’ll shower when he’s gone.

“Really that bad, huh?” He asks when he’s drying his hair, his underwear now pulled up around his hips, and you sigh, smiling slightly.

“Honestly… I think I’m pretty forgiving, but he didn’t even try. I’m the one who had to suggest we change positions even!” It’s easy to fall into this routine with Steve, especially after you’ve both been satiated, but it’s not really a dynamic that exists anywhere else at any other time.

At work you were friendly but professional, around friends you were polite but never seemed to stray too close (neither of you wanted a particular redhead in your business), and you made a point of not hanging out outside of that. You were already sleeping together, that was more than enough. Anything more would just make you hope, and hope would only let you down.

Steve was still Steve. He was still the guy everyone turned to in a crisis, he was still the man on the ground nine times out of ten. You broke up for a reason, and you needed to keep that in mind.

Steve shoots you a wince and scrunches his nose as he pulls his shirt over his shoulders and pops his head through the hole.

“I’m sorry for… yelling.” He says after he’s pulled on his pants, and you frown, looking away.

“Don’t be… I probably shouldn’t have called you.” You say, missing the dip in his brows when you don’t look away from one of your flickering candles. Steve purses his lips as he threads his belt through his pants, but shrugs.

“You should just tell him, if you like him”

“Nah… I don’t think there’s much there for me anyway. I don’t know.” You wave him off and stand as he pulls on his jacket. This part was always the most awkward.

“Whatever you want.” He readies his keys and you move with him to the door. You always felt like you were missing something in your goodbye’s, but a hug or a kiss or a thank you was the exact last thing you wanted to do.

Keep it casual.

Steve pauses at your door, his expression unreadable and you fold your arms over your chest, flashing him an easy smile.

“Drive safe, Steve.”

“Goodnight. Sleep well.”

—-

“Wait, what?” You turn in your seat to look at your coworker Lucy, who nods, and finishes her mouthful of yoghurt.

“Yeah, right! Two in the morning and I’m getting calls to analyse samples as if I’m at the off—”

“—No, I meant…” You trail off, mind whirring, trying to think over the details you knew already.

“I didn’t know they’d gone on a mission…” You finish with instead, sitting back in your chair.

It wasn’t like you knew the Avengers schedule off my heart, or that it was your job to know everytime they left the tower. It made sense as to why Steve hadn’t been talkative the past few days though… Still, he’d confirmed that your ‘meeting’ was still happening this afternoon, even though you’d just gotten word that the team was landing in two hours.

Lucy chitters on until your half-day ends, at which point you quickly pack up your things and make your way to the elevator. You consider calling in to the upper floors, the residential ones, to speak with the man himself, but you decide against it. It wasn’t like you were a regular up there, it would be weird and raise questions, not to mention that given his recent return from a mission, he was likely in debriefings or writing up his reports.

You pull out your phone instead and send off a quick text.

‘Just heard you got in from an assignment… Do you want to reschedule this afternoon? I know you’re probably tired as hell…?’

Steve doesn’t reply right away, and honestly you don’t expect him too. You make it all the way home before your phone buzzes, and you find yourself staring for several minutes at the words on the screen.

S: ‘I’m happy to come over, if you’re still free. I’m totally fine.’

You send him a quick confirmation, but can’t help but chew on your lip. Part of you wonders why he’d bother. You know he was lying about being fine, super soldier or not, everybody liked their downtime after an extremely stressful few days, and coming to your ex-girlfriend’s house for a hookup wasn’t exactly that… then again, maybe he really needed his itch scratched. Who were you to judge?

You’d finished your day at two, which was nice, and you do a quick clean up of your apartment before Steve was set to arrive at four. You shower and change and throw a little bit of makeup on, finishing just as your doorbell rings.

When you open the door, you can see right away that he’d been lying about being fine. Maybe nobody else would notice, but you had spent a considerable amount of time around Steve, and you could pick out his undereye bags straight away. To anybody else he’d look completely normal, but his shoulders slump just so, his smile just a little too tight.

“Hey.” He greets as you step aside, letting him kiss your cheek as he enters. You don’t know when that became a thing, but it was something you’d seen him do with a few of his female friends, so you let it slip, knowing it wasn’t just you.

“Hey…” You shoot back, suspicion slightly etched on your words. Steve immediately rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he hangs his jacket on the back of your couch.

“I’m fine.” He tells you pointedly and you decide that you can’t be bothered arguing. It was his choice to come, if he didn’t really want to, then he’d have to deal with that like a big boy.

Casual conversation ensues, he asks about your week, you tell him the hot goss in the forensics lab, and then somehow from that very enticing subject, you end up on your bed, Steve hovering just over you, lips pressed hotly against your own. Despite yourself, not all your hook ups with Steve were hot and heavy and quick. You missed making out with someone, the build up of it all, and even though you told yourself it was dangerous territory, you went there anyway.

Steve’s hands trail slowly up your body, feeling you over your clothes, and then under. You get rid of his shirt fairly quickly, his shoes kicked off already, and not for the first time, you just relish in being held, the fantasy that this was real, and you weren’t casually sleeping with your ex-boyfriend. Steve plants his knee between your legs when you scratch at the back of his head, a groan following shortly after as his fingers work to find the bottom of your shirt and get it up. You part for only seconds when he pulls it over your head, throwing it to the edge of the bed. You hadn’t bothered putting a bra on, leaving you already exposed. Steve may be Captain America, a symbol of a nation and whatever else, but he was still a man, and the second he can, he’s got his lips pressed to the skin of your neck and rapidly descending, hands groping appreciatively at your breasts.

His mouth leaves hot kisses down your throat, over your chest, and you’re so ready to feel his lips take over from where his thumb brushes over your nipple when the doorbell rings.

You both pause a moment, Steve lifting his head and you groan, scrunching up your face as the bell is joined by rapid knocking. Steve smiles, cheeks a little pink, and shifts off of you, already reaching for the nearest shirt. It’s his, but you don’t think he’ll mind much as you slip it over your head and shoot him an apologetic glance as he makes himself comfortable on your pillows, placing an arm behind his head.

“Sorry, just… give me a moment…”

“It’s fine.” Steve waves off your apologies as you jog from the room to your front door.

It’s a package you have to sign for, but the courier brings up the wrong electronic form, and you’re forced to wait impatiently as his slow device loads the correct one instead. You’re trying to remain polite, trying not to tap your foot or your fingers, but by the time you’re closing your door again, you don’t even stop to look at what the package is, chucking it onto your couch and all but racing back to your bedroom.

“Just a courier, but while I’m up, do you want a be—” You cut yourself off, coming to a stop in your doorway, eyes landing on the sight laid out before you. Steve lays against your decorative cushions, shirtless, his arm no longer behind his head, instead now he’s curled on his side, another pillow stuffed between his arms where he squeezes it, eyes shut tight, mouth slightly ajar.

Your heart skips several beats, the urge to squeal at how adorable he looks only overruled by the odd stirring in your stomach at how much you missed seeing him in your bed. And then that thought is cancelled out by your guilt.

For Steve to actually fall asleep unintended, he must have been exhausted. You really should have insisted on rescheduling…

He stirs a little, humming softly and adjusting his hold on the pillow he was cuddling and you start. You should wake him up and send him home. You weren’t dating, you were only tentatively friends. You were just sleeping together, nothing else.

But you don’t.

Instead, you move to your laptop in the living room. You had stuff you could stand to get done. It wasn’t that big of a deal.

You end up logging back into your work server and ticking off several tasks on your to-do list, losing track of time in the process. It isn’t until nearly seven when you notice, at which point you send a glance back to your bedroom doorway, before pulling up your local pizza places’ online ordering site.

Steve wakes not too long after, his footsteps purposefully loud, and you turn again to look at him as he exits your room, scratching his head and looking for all the world like an embarrassed child.

“For someone who wasn’t at all tired and was totally fine, you sure did take a midafternoon nap.” You tease and he gives you a thin, apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry… I—”

“—It’s fine, Steve. Besides, I ended up clearing off my schedule for the week, so that’s nice.”

He still looks bashful, even as he takes a seat opposite you at the table.

“Do you want me to head out?” He asks, and you wave him off, standing up to move to your fridge.

“Nah. Unless you want to. But I ordered pizza a little while ago. Figured you’d be hungry. Beer?”

Steve blinks and you see him processing his choices, but he eventually nods, and you pull two bottles, cracking them open and handing one to him as you take your seat again.

“Beer and pizza isn’t exactly how I’d expected tonight to go, but you know, it’s up there.” You shrug, and Steve chuckles, shaking his head.

“I’m never going to live this down, am I?” He asks.

“I’m just saying, I’ve had some interesting sex in my time, but I’ve never actually had a guy fall asleep on me before…” You both laugh, and trade jabs until your food arrives.

Steve offers to get it, which you don’t protest, grabbing some plates and moving your drinks to the couch instead. You realise, when you take a look back at him handing some cash to the delivery guy, that you’re still wearing his shirt, and groan internally.

You change quickly, pulling on your own clothes, and chucking Steve back his own when you return to the living room. He’s sat in ‘his’ seat once again, and he only lifts an eyebrow at you when he catches his shirt, before pulling it on. You don’t even pretend to not stare at the way his body stretches and moves when he does, and he doesn’t pretend not to notice.

“You know, I was gonna ask for it back when I woke up.” He tells you as you both start grabbing slices to put on your plates.

“Oh?”

Steve ums, and settles back in his seat as you search for something to play on the tv.

“But I kinda miss seeing you in my clothes.” He says, and you pause.

You fight the urge to look at him, and even though your heart beats loudly in your ears at his confession, you try to go on as if what he’d said was totally normal.

“Um, have you ever seen this one?” You point to the screen, displaying the rundown of a show you’d heard some of your coworkers talking about, and Stev shakes his head.

“Clint talks about it, but I haven’t had the time.” He shrugs and you press play.

Eventually, you find yourself relaxing again, one of you occasionally piping up to chat some shit about how unrealistic or contrived the show was, and eating your fill (and then some) of pizza. It’s weirdly casual, in a way you truly haven’t felt around Steve in a long time, but just like when you’re doing far less casual things together, it’s easy to just pretend for a while.

You fall asleep on your couch sometime after midnight, and in the morning wake up in your bed, your living room devoid of beer bottles and pizza boxes, all the remains plated and covered in your fridge. You want to be angry at yourself for allowing your interactions with Steve to go beyond the physical, but you can’t.

For the rest of your day there’s a lightness in your steps and a softness to your thoughts, as you permit yourself this one, silly, selfishness.

—-

One pizza and netflix night turns into two, and then somehow your hookups with Steve become less about sex and more about the company. You still sleep together, of course, but more often than not, you’ll find yourselves too tired for anything. Steve sits on your bed and borrows your laptop to type up reports, and you beside him, a friendly distance away, scrolling through your phone or finishing the latest book you’d started.

You don’t think about it.

But it’s nice.

Natasha and Bucky stop by your lab on a friday night and subsequently invite you to join the rest of the group for drinks that evening. You don’t even feel hesitant to accept, and you don’t think about that either.

You can’t be bothered going home to change and then come back, so you head right up when you clock off. The team is already in good form, lounging around a set of coffee tables on the upper level, several empty bottles already littering the space. The huge glass sliding doors that lead to the balcony have been pulled wide open, and Sam and Clint stand at the grill, trying to out-fry each other.

“You look nice.” Steve tells you, greeting you with a casual half-hug. He foregoes the kiss on the cheek this time, and you don’t think about it.

“Really?” You ask, genuinely amused.

“I came straight from work and I feel like I’ve been sweating in this dress all day.”

Steve grins and shrugs.

“You look nice.” He repeats, eyes not leaving you until Nat calls your attention away.

“Geez Rogers, she’s been here for five seconds and you haven’t offered her a drink?!” The redhead teases from behind the nearby bar, and you laugh, playfully shoving Steve in the arm.

“Yeah, where are you manners?!”

Steve holds up his hands in defeat, still smiling, and you move with him to the bar.

“Don’t you worry. I’ll take care of you.” Natasha winks, and you wave a hand, letting her mix you some concoction you don’t catch the contents of.

“I may regret this in the morning but; I trust you.”

Nat only laughs again as Steve reaches over the bar to grab himself another beer, and you watch, unconcerned with who could be watching you. When your drink is made, you clink glasses, and move to where the others all sit. His hand grazes your lower back as you walk, but you don’t think about it.

Night falls and food is served. More drinks and more laughs, and when you’ve returned to the bar to fetch a couple more martinis for the fellas now crowding around the pool table, one Sam Wilson slides against your side.

“Good to see you make it tonight.” He nods, his signature grin spread across his face. You chuckle and shrug.

“I really needed to take a load off.”

Sam nods and looks over his shoulder as several cheers erupt from the ongoing game, before he’s staring back at you once again.

“You and Steve back on or…?” The question doesn’t totally shock you, but you still give a friendly scoff, and shake your head.

“No… Definitely not.”

Sam’s brow furrows and he cocks his head.

“We’re just friends again. That’s it. Steve’s a great guy, but…” You trail off, and shake your head once more. Sam shifts to face you and lifts an eyebrow.

“You guys aren’t subtle, you know that right? And I know you ain’t calling him to come fix your sink every other night.”

Your face grows warm and you roll your eyes.

“So what? Doesn’t mean we’re together. We just know each other. It’s comfortable.” You shrug and Sam hums in a disbelieving way.

“Look, Steve is… Steve. He’ll always be more tied to his work than anything, or any one else, and that’s fine. I just know I can't expect more from him than… this.”

Sam watches you for a moment, eyes searching your face until he looks away, nodding his head, relenting.

“Whatever you say. I’m just saying maybe you should give it another go… with the three of us now rotating leadership, things might be different.” 

You frown at that, as Nat finishes with the drinks you’d asked her for, and cock your head.

“What do you mean ‘the three of you on rotation’?”

Sam sideyes you.

“Steve stepped down as our sole guy, like, a year ago now. Rhodey, he, and I take turns. We got a week each on rotation.”

You blink at the information, and wonder why Steve had never mentioned it before.

Him stepping down as the Avenger’s go-to leader was… a pretty big deal. Actually, you’re kind of shocked by it. Steve had always been, as long as you’d known him, unable to walk away from a fight. If a situation was going down, he had to be there, at the front taking charge. It was literally the reason you’d broken up. He didn’t know how to take a break, and in his life, you’d always be second, maybe even third priority.

Sm nicks one of the drinks in front of you, and you half-heartedly scold him for it as you attempt to carry the other three back to the pool table, Steve putting his cue to the side and stepping up to help you when he notices.

Sam’s words continue to spin around your brain as you settle back in to watch. It isn’t until Bucky elbows you gently in the side that you realise you were being spoken to, and you blink around.

“We were saying that we forgot to set a prize for the game.” Sam re-explains, and you hum.

“I said maybe you’d give the winner a kiss.” Bucky adds, his face clearly joking, but in that ‘only joking if you are’ way.

You scoff and roll your eyes.

“Jesus, what is it? 1955?”

Bucky shrugs and sips at his drink. He’d always been a flirty drunk, not that he was drunk-drunk, but his serum seemed to affect him in slightly different ways to Steve. If he really tried, he could get a pretty decent buzz.

“And besides, I doubt Steve would see that as much of a prize, and last I checked, he was wiping the floor with you chumps.” You wave a hand and Sam cackles. Steve lifts an eyebrow at you, catching your eye.

“Don’t be so sure, sweetheart, a prize is a prize.”

You hardly hear his words, it's his expression that draws you in, makes you forget about the company around you. The air feels hot all of a sudden and you really wished you could drag him off. You shrug.

“Well maybe I’ll give you something else if you win.” 

If the others pick up on anything other than friendly banter, they thankfully choose not to mention it, simply laughing and moving back to the game. Steve’s cheeks tint a little pink, but he throws you a wink when he takes his next turn, and you have to laugh, shaking your head at the absurdity.

Steve holds the lead for two rounds, but Bucky, fuelled by Nat’s martinis, makes a comeback, and as the final scores are tallied, he leans in, tapping his cheek expectantly. It’s all in good fun, and you roll your eyes for the hundredth time, but make good in your promise of a prize and instead grip him gently by the chin and plant a quick kiss to his lips. Bucky lifts his drink in achievement, and you playfully shove him away.

“I’m sure Freud would have something to say about that.” Steve says teasingly, plopping down beside you, and you scoff.

“Nobody listens to Freud, and you and Bucky aren’t actually family.” You almost add that you and he aren’t actually dating either, but you stop short. Steve throws you a grin and relents.

“You finish that book yet?” He asks, referring to the Freud book in question that you’d been halfway through the last time he’d been over.

You shake your head.

“No. And I don’t think I will. I can put up with a lot of batshit crazy things, but I draw the line at him.”

Steve laughs, and takes a swig of his beer. A thought occurs to you then, and you turn to face him, squinting.

“Did you lose on purpose?”

“What?”

“The game. Did you lose on purpose?”

Steve blinks sheepishly at you in the same way he did when he was formulating some kind of believable lie, and you roll your eyes, smacking his arm.

“You’re so full of shit!” You laugh, watching him shrug and shift awkwardly.

“I didn’t want you to feel awkward.”

You sideye him with another huff of laughter.

“I mean I offered, in front of our friends, mind you, to give you a blowjob if you won… how awkward did you think I felt?” You watch Steve’s cheeks light up again, and he shakes his head, rolling his eyes at you this time.

“Was that what you meant?” He asks, as a sort of recovery, but you can see he’s still a little flustered. You chuckle, and lean into him, resting your hand on his upper thigh and squeezing just slightly.

“Maybe next time.” You wink, and watch his expression shift, his eyes flickering down to your lips briefly, and you just know he’s imagining what would be happening right now if you weren’t surrounded by at least ten other people.

Again, you feel the urge to drag him away, but you keep your cool, leaning away from him and removing your hand as Tony and Rhodey make their way over to the couches.

As the night wanes on, Steve’s arm ends up over the back of your seat.

You don’t think about it.

—-

“Are you sure you don’t have anything better to be doing?” You ask, a little exasperatedly.

It wasn’t that you weren’t thankful, but Steve was too good to know when to say ‘no’. Not that you’d even asked him, he’d offered and then showed up at your door bright and early anyway, regardless of your non-committal answer.

He just shrugs and shoves his hands in his pockets.

“Day off.” He tells you. You squint. You know now thanks to Sam that he wasn’t lying, but it still makes you squirm a little.

“Well, whatever. Don’t come complaining to me about splinters.” You snark, moving ahead to inspect the branches of the next pine tree along.

Steve pouts.

“But you know those tweezers are too small for my fingers…”

“Oh, what a hard life, Steven! You never get sick and are basically invincible… except for those damn pesky tweezers!”

Steve nudges you in the side, as you laugh.

“Don’t let the bad guys know about that.” You side-eye him and he gives you his best puppy-dog eyes.

“You’re the only one who knows my secret.” He says, with over-the-top sincerity.

“I trust you.” He adds a moment later, and you snort.

“Well, that sounds like a ‘you’ problem.”

You continue to sass and snark at each other as you walk down the rows and rows of trees, not even really looking at the pines, until you realise that an hour is probably too long to spend tree-shopping, and pick out the nearest half decent one.

Steve carries it to his car, as he’d offered to do in the first place, and you strap it up tight before getting in.

The conversation flows easy and light on the drive back, and when Steve’s phone rings, you switch instead to staring out the window at all the Christmas lights and decorations the city had put up in preparation.

“Hello? Oh, yes…?” You can only hear Steve’s side of the conversation, not blessed with super-hearing like he was, but you turn your head, intrigued when he seems to falter.

“Today? Well I… in twenty minutes? Oh, um…” He looks over at you, a frown pulling at his brows.

“If you need to stop somewhere…” You whisper, waving a hand to confirm you were okay with the detour, and he shoots you a tight smile, before setting his eyes back on the road.

“I can do that, no problem. Okay. Thank you. Bye.”

“What was that about?” You ask immediately, curious now that you were seemingly being dragged along.

“I had to get a suit altered— for Tony’s christmas party on the weekend…” He begins and you ‘ah’. Tony had declared all attendees go all-out. No jeans were allowed, it was supposed to be a strictly formal event.

“But the owner of the store just realised my appointment clashed with her flight out of the city this afternoon.”

“So we’re going to pick it up?”

“Yeah.”

You hum, and nod, fiddling with the radio now as you drive past the turn off for your place. Steve had promised to help you carry your tree inside, and given the time, it would probably take too long for him to make his appointment if he took you home first. You didn’t mind though.

The tailor he’d chosen wasn’t some fancy, high end retail store, but you never expected it would be. Instead, Steve holds open the door to a small, mom-and-pop type shop, with dark wooden interiors that just screamed old-school class. You enter and promptly take a seat in the showroom as Steve is whisked away to try on his suit for a final inspection.

You’re staring mindlessly at your phone when he steps back in, a little awkward, clearly asking what you think.

“Well, well, well Rogers… So you do clean up nicely after all!” You tease, standing and moving closer as he rolls his eyes at you and faces the mirror. You watch him smooth down the suit jacket, looking a little self-conscious if you’re being honest, but then his eyes find yours again in the mirror.

“You’re going, right?”

You nod, shrugging your shoulders a bit.

“I think Tony would have my head if I made up an excuse… and I kinda like christmas parties… dressing up, mistletoe and all that.” You wave a hand, and Steve turns back around to face you.

“Come with me.” He says, breathily, like he’d been holding the words in for so long he just couldn’t keep them anymore. You freeze, staring up at his hopeful expression, feeling for all the world like your veins had suddenly turned to ice.

“What?” You can’t help but ask, and the blond shifts on his feet, lifting his chin a little more confidently this time.

“Come with me. To the party.”

You aren’t sure how you hear him so clearly when your heart beat thunder loudly in your ears, and suddenly, the walls in the room begin to close in on you. You shake your head with a frown and take a step back from him.

“W-what? No, Steve, I…”

Steve straightens a little, his brow furrowing now and you struggle to speak, panic rising in your chest.

“Steve, we’re— we’re just friends. This isn’t— we aren’t dating!” You stress, still shaking your head, and still stepping away from him. Steve ‘s jaw sets a little and he gets that look on his face like when he had something to say, but he knew it would be incendiary.

“Maybe not, but I don’t think we’ve been just friends for a while now, and you know that.” He says instead, voice tight, and you suck in air sharply.

You knew this was a mistake.

You knew doing anything outside of your agreed-upon interactions was dangerous, and yet, like an idiot, you’d gone there anyway.

“Steve— I am—” You lower your voice somewhat, remembering where you are, and hold out a hand.

“This, what we’re doing now, this is fine. Nobody gets hurt, it’s fun and—”

“—Who's getting hurt exactly?” Steve cuts you off, and you barely refrain from yelling at him.

“Me! I am not going to sit around, waiting for you to find the time to see me! I’m not doing that again. I’m not playing second fiddle to your job!” You explode, immediately pulling back at the flash of grief that lances across Steve’s face.

You look away from him and rub at your temple.

“Every time you’ve called me, I’ve come.” Steve says, voice thick with hurt, and you clench your teeth.

“Every. Time.” He repeats, and you finally bring yourself to look at him.

“I am sorry that the lines got blurred. But I am not—” You stutter a little, choking on your words, but you clear your throat.

“I cannot do this again.”

And you leave.

You run away, because it was less scary than whatever Steve wanted from you. Less scary than opening yourself up and getting hurt like before.

And you were an idiot for it.

You hate yourself for crying when you get home, sans christmas tree now, and a big part of you is glad Steve doesn’t follow you, or try to call. A bigger part of you cries that he doesn’t, and at the fact that despite trying to keep things casual, keep him at arm's length, you’d gone and gotten all tangled up anyway.

It was a mistake.

You knew from the start, but you can’t even revel in your own self pity for too long, because soon enough you’re coming to your goddamn senses.

You were a complete and total bitch.

Steve had hurt you, yes, and maybe springing a date on you like that wasn’t the best way, but even you aren’t dumb enough to not notice his change. He had hurt you, and then he’d changed. He’d taken a step away from leading, to be more present, to be more around, and he was right, he had come every time you’d needed him, for whatever reason. He’d kept your scheduled meetings, even when he was dead tired and really could have called them off. 

He’d done everything you could have asked for.

And you hadn’t even asked for it.

—-

Your nerves nearly consume you when you step through the doorway and into the open space of the residential floors. Tony had gone just as nuts with the decorating as you’d imagined. Not a single corner of the room looked like Christmas hadn’t thrown up all over it. Yet, even your love of this time of year couldn’t trump the anxiety that rolls back over you as you look around the room.

You’re actually glad that you can’t spot him right away. It lets you relax, greet other people, ease into the nerves you feel. Besides, if your little meltdown had sent him back into the arms of whatever-her-name-was, you might just be sick.

The jig is up however, when Sam Wilson slings an arm around your shoulder, bright smile betrayed only by the knowing glance he gives you.

“Didn’t think I’d end up seeing you tonight.” he says casually, leading you toward the bar, and you shrug as best you can.

“I’ve got to grovel at some time. Christmas party seemed dramatic and cinematic enough.”

Sam gives you a sympathetic look and squeezes your arm.

“He isn’t upset with you.”

“He should be.” You say, shaking your head and dropping your gaze.

Sam sighs and removes his arm from you so that he can signal the bartender.

“He’s upset with himself.”

You roll your eyes.

“Of course he is. Cause he’s so damned good.” You kick the bar lightly in frustration, and sink a little more into self-hatred. Sam slides a shot of clear liquor toward you.

“Courage.” He says, tipping his own back seconds later, and you relent, plastering on a tight smile before pouring the contents of the glass down your throat.

It burns, and fills your nose with the distinct taste of vodka, and you scrunch up your face, Sam laughing at you when you put your glasses back.

“I’d like less courage next time.” You tell him, and he shrugs.

“I doubt you’ll be saying that in five seconds.” His eyes skip over your shoulder and you frown.

“Wait, why?” A quick glance behind you makes you panic, wide eyes finding a grinning Sam once again, who is already slinking off.

“Sam!”

It’s useless though, he’s gone in seconds, and quickly you become very aware of the man who’d come to stand a small distance away from you at the bar. Biting the bullet, you swallow thickly, and turn to look at him.

Steve looks much like he had the last time you’d seen him, which really only makes your stomach churn more in memory of the way you’d acted.

“Hey…” You greet, worried perhaps he might ignore you, even though you know damn well he could hear you over the crowd. But he doesn’t, eyes swivelling to find your like it was what he’d been waiting for. He gives you a conservative smile and nod.

“Hey.”

The one word alone, filled with so much simple sadness makes the damn break, and before you even realise what you’re doing, you’ve stepped right beside him, hands wringing in front of you.

“Steve, I am so sorry. What I said— I was just— I was a bitch.” You finish lamely, but he only looks down at you, slightly bewildered, as if he really hadn’t expected you to say anything about what had happened.

He turns in to face you, feeding off of your distressed body-language, one hand coming up to touch your arm, and he looks around concerned for a moment before back at you.

“You wanna go somewhere else…?” He asks, and again, you wallow in self-hatred at the way that he so quickly seemed ready to defend your clear anxiety. You swallow, and nod, letting him lead you away from the bar.

He guides you through familiar rooms just as decked out and just as full with people, until you reach a small, quiet staircase, one you know leads up to the private floors.

You’re well aware of how long it had been since you’d last stood in his apartment, and it only spurs your nerves on more. Maybe you should have waited… maybe the christmas party wasn’t the ideal time…

“As far as I’m concerned, you have nothing to apologise for.” Steve says, which only makes you scoff, rounding on him where he stands.

“Steve, you’ve got to be kidding!”

He only shrugs, sad eyes turning down and you sigh.

“Everything I said was… I shouldn’t have said it. You were right. Things haven’t exactly been ‘casual-hookups-no-strings-attached’ for a long time.” You fiddle with the hem of your sleeve and shuffle on your feet.

“I… I like what we had. Just… hanging out. You’re… you’re so easy to be with, and I like that, Steve. I never feel like we’re on different pages, you always get me, you’re great in bed… I— I like being with you, so much…” You pause and take a shaky breath.

“And I know that you’ve been trying. You’ve… frankly, you’ve changed more than I was even asking for back when—” You cut yourself off and shake your head.

“My point is. I’m sorry. I was a bitch because having you in my life in some way is better than not at all, and if things ended the way they did last time, I wouldn’t be able to even look at you— Am I even making any sense?!” You drag a hand over your hair and sigh. Steve moves toward you, slowly, and you force yourself to look at him.

“Yes.” He says, stopping just in front of you.

“I think.” He adds a moment later and you can’t help but laugh. You shake your head.

“I’m sorry.” You say again, and watch him stare at you, before nodding.

“Thank you. I’m sorry too.” He says, though you can’t even imagine what for right now.

“Is it too late to retroactively accept your invitation to the party?” You joke, and his face breaks into a smile, a light chuckle leaving him.

“I think so… Didn’t get to pick you up or anything…”

You click your fingers in an ‘oh shoot’ gesture, and Steve grabs your hand before you can drop it again. You watch as slowly he brings it to his lips, kissing the backs of your fingers.

Your breathing gets shallower at the action, and you wonder if him bringing you here, to his private rooms, was really a good thing after all. You rescind your earlier thoughts. You’re glad you didn’t wait, you’re glad you decided to do this during the Christmas party.

He pulls you closer in a way that feels only natural, and for the first time in a long time, you don’t have to pretend that any of this is real, you don’t need the fantasy.

Steve kisses you long and sweet, his hands firm and secure where he holds you, a silent promise. You think it feels different to how he normally holds you, but you think it’s probably just in your head. You bite at his lower lip, pulling on it just slightly, and his chest rumbles, his hands moving then, squeezing and pawing at you, feet blindly guiding you, moving towards his bedroom.

Clothes are peeled off and set aside, when you try to move atop of him, he only grabs your wrists, trapping you in place against his mattress, and you don’t even care. Steve was here, with you, in his room, and it was real.

He has you face down, pillow raising your hips slightly, his body draped over yours warm and heavy, sweat slicked and firm. Your thighs are only just parted, enough for him to slip inside you, so close, so deep you think you see stars with each thrust. He moves slow, arms caged around your own, hand splayed out against your throat, lifting your head up and back so he can kiss you as he moves, taste each moan he creates as he creates it.

You feel overwhelmed and utterly saturated in him, picked to pieces and pulled apart, his cock sheathed so deep, his weight bearing down on you, you’re drowning in him.

He kisses the back of your neck and shoulders, resting his forehead against you as he picks up his pace, driving faster and deeper, your desperate words of filth and want muffled into the pillow you hold tightly. You think your nails might’ve ripped a hole in the fabric, but you aren’t sure.

You come together, heady cries filling the air before dissipating into heavy, breathy sighs. He doesn’t leave you, stays right there atop of you, still inside you as you both come down. He kisses along your spine again, sweeps some hair out of the way to reach your neck, and that place behind your ear.

“Am I too heavy?” He asks a moment after, voice muffled in the skin of your shoulder, and you laugh, shaking your head, and peering up at him as best you can. He was atop you, sure, but his arms still held most of his weight, never too rough, always just enough.

“No. I like it.” You say, feeling a little shy. All the times you’d slept together, in a relationship, and out of it, this felt real, like all else before was just practice. Steve shifts his hips a little and you suck in a sharp breath.

“Yeah?” He asks, eyelashes fluttering just slightly. You nod.

“I like when you’re here… like this. And you don’t hold back on me.” He lifts his head a little and raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t think I’ve ever held back on you, when you’ve asked.” He reminds, and you hide your face, laughing into the pillow.

“Well maybe sometimes…” He admits, likely referencing all the times you’d beg him for ‘harder’ and he’d adjust his angle instead, already fucking you as hard as he felt comfortable with.

After a few seconds, he lets up a little to allow you to roll over, though he still hangs over you, chest to chest.

“I never liked leaving after.” He admits, dropping his lips to your cheek.

“I hated going back to my own bed, knowing you wouldn’t be with me in the morning. I don’t think I’ve ever said it but,” He lifts his head again and you stare up at him.

“Waking up with you in the mornings after we’d stayed together, it always felt like a battle to get up and leave. I always thought ‘today I don’t need to run. You can take a break’.”

“But you never did?” You wonder, and see the regret flash over his features.

“I should have. Maybe not all the time, but… I should have.” You purse your lips and try to catch his guilty eyes.

“Steve… I never wanted you to completely overhaul your life. I still don’t want you to do that. That part of you, the part that wants to help people and be there for them, I love that. It’s what fundamentally makes you you.” You push back the hair that hangs on his forehead and sigh, tracing the edges of his face now instead.

“I don’t care if six out of seven days a week you need to get up before me, as long as I have that seventh day…” His face softens from the self-judgement you could see reflected in his features and you smile.

“I just… I don’t know, I want to feel like at least a bit of a priority. I know that’s not always going to be possible, I get that… but…”

“I know. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you weren’t.”

“And last-minute cancellations should be the exception not the rule!” You joke, and he hangs his head again, but chuckles against the crook of your neck.

“Understood.”

You lay like that for a while, just relishing in one another's presence, feeling your chest’s rise and fall against each other. When he moves next, it’s because his phone buzzes loudly on the bedside table, and you watch him reach blindly out to grab it.

You play with the hair on his arm as he checks the message, the amused sigh he gives off a second later heavy against your chest.

“It’s Buck,” He tells you.

“Says the fellas are getting ready for a round at the pool table…” He trails off as another message comes through, and this time you see him roll his eyes, and chuck his phone to the side.

“He wants to know if you’re going to kiss the winner again.” Steve’s voice is amused still as he finally crawls off of you, and helps you up. You both know you can’t, and shouldn’t stay locked up here all night.

“Well, I tell you what, Rogers, you don’t go easy on Barnes again, and I’ll give you what I promised last time.”

For a moment Steve just frowns in confusion, but as it slowly dawns on him, a challenging, determined glint fills his eyes.

“Better start keeping score then, sweetheart.”

Madness

Hi, I love your work so much! Sorry this might be kind of long: I was hoping you could do an amazing Spider-Man imagine where instead of Peter getting sucked into the mcu, the reader somehow gets sucked into TASM universe. Reader is an avenger with some sort of powers so could you somehow include when she first enters the universe she meets face to face with Spider-Man in a dark alleyway or something and obviously gets really freaked out and tries to attack him because she thinks he’s a threat. Idk just some sort of a small angsty fight and love at first sight sort of thing pls haha thank you <3

You and Me

PAIRING: TASM!Peter Parker x Fem!Avenger!Reader

WORD COUNT: 3.1k

NOTES: both Peter and reader are 21 so she can drink. also there is one f bomb. but bro if it were me, I’d drop everything and live with Peter in his universe, life would be great <3

“BOOM! And that’s how ya do it,” Sam hollers, throwing his cards down on the table. Steve throws his cards down, Bucky and Natasha immediately shake their heads and cause a fit, and you, well... you weren’t about to let him win. 

“You sure about that, bird man?” you grin, placing your cards over his. 

“Oh you’ve got to be shitting me,” Bucky practically cackles, while Sam stares blankly with his jaw dropped open. Natasha grins wide, patting you on the back. 

“Atta girl, finally beat the bastard,” she says. Steve still smiles as you get up and walk over to the kitchen to pour yourself a drink. 

“About time, huh Sam? Couldn’t let you keep stealing all the thunder, right?” you laugh as you drink out of the bottle before letting it tip to pour into the small glass you pulled out of the cupboard. No one responds, and your eyebrows crinkle up in confusion. “What, are you getting pissy with me?” 

“Y/N...” Natasha’s voice calls out with fear, making you abandon the kitchen, running back to the room to make sure she’s alright. You don’t know what you’re looking at when she makes eye contact with you. Sam and Steve are gone, and Bucky... he’s standing looking down at his hands, looking like he’s... glitching? You don’t know how to even describe it, and he lifts his head to see you one last time before he just disappears. 

“Nat, what’s happening,” your voice shakes, and you look back at her before she stumbles towards you, grabbing your forearms and forcing you to look in her eyes. 

“Stay strong, alright?” and just like that, she’s gone too. You don’t even realize tears are streaming down your face until you feel the wetness on your hands, the hands that were just holding one of your best friends. 

“No, no, no, no!” you scream and panic, not knowing the first thing to do. Before you even have another moment to think, it feels like your brain goes fuzzy and you can’t concentrate, everything seems so out of place and the earth feels like it’s spinning. Your hands clutch your head and you squeeze your eyes shut, hoping the end doesn’t hurt as much you thought it did. When you open your eyes, you’re not in the compound.

Your knees buckle and you fall to the ground, your hands splaying out in front of you so your face doesn’t make impact with the ground. Your breathing is erratic and you can’t think, can’t speak without wanting to scream. So much fear is running through your bones that you don’t even realize where you are until you sort of start to get your bearings.

1, 2, 3... inhale...exhale

You take three deep breaths, counting in your head, allowing yourself to get a grip. Have to start thinking. Have to start doing something. You hear a garbage can clang against the ground, and you let yourself calm when you realize that was just you. Sometimes when you were under stress or panic, your powers would go out of control and things would go haywire. You try to focus your mind, not to let your powers get a hold of you. Telekinesis wasn’t always a gift. Standing up, you take a look around, finding that you’re in some dark alley way in what looks to be New York. You had to have gotten drunk or something, there has to be a reasonable explanation for this. Or this is just some nightmare you haven’t woken up from yet, so you pinch yourself to make sure.

No, you’re definitely awake.

Attempting to walk, you take a couple steps, going slow to make sure you don’t fall again. By now, you have more focus, but so many questions are bouncing around your head. It’s night out, bright lights at the end of the alley from the busy streets of New York, and loud sounds coming from honking cars and so many people. Every few minutes, people will pass by and you shrink further into the shadows, hoping to conceal yourself from anyone’s view. You hear a faint noise from above you, looking up the fire escape on the side of the building. At first you don’t see anything, but suddenly, a red and blue figure jumps down landing in front of you, shooting an arm forward which makes you think this person has a gun, so you throw him to the side, launching him into the brick wall beside you. You hear a groan, and before you can react, a web attaches itself to your hand and throws you back into the wall, making your hand trapped. The person in the strange suit is already up on their feet, making slow steps towards you.

“Slow down, I’m not gonna-” they start, but you slip the hidden knife from under your shirt, always having one on you, cutting the web away quickly before you’re already throwing the knife at them. “What the h-”

Despite their obvious shock that you just used your mind to get the knife back, they side step it quickly, catching the handle and throwing it over their shoulder, which makes you tilt your head in confusion. No one has ever been able to catch your knives before, the only way would be to expect it coming, and no one ever does. “Look, miss... I’m only trying to-” they start again, but you use your powers to pull the knife back towards you, it flying back into your hand so you can advance on the masked person in front of you. You don’t think, you just fight. Listening to the voice, it sounds like a man, and from the looks of him, you just assume for the time being. He still tries to talk to you as you slash the air in front of you, making him back up and avoid every single slash you’ve attempted to make. He knocks the knife out of your hand, grabbing your wrist with a tight grip. Surprisingly, he’s a lot stronger than you originally thought, and despite probably knowing that you won’t escape his grip, you fight against him. 

“Let me go, let me go!” you yell, hitting him hard in the chest, but he doesn’t budge. He webs your wrists together, tugging you against him so you’re unable to move. Everything inside you is screaming to fight back, punch, kick, do whatever you can to escape his grasp, but you only squirm and stare him in the face with panic. Letting go of you with one hand, he quickly brings his hand up to tug off the mask, pulling it off his head and grabbing you again. 

“Look at me, look at me... I’m not gonna hurt you, I won’t hurt you. Just calm down, calm down...” he says comfortingly, with a soft look on his face. His hands stroke your arms up and down and your hands stay webbed in front of you. He’s young, most likely around your age, with curly brown hair and warm honey eyes that make you want to melt to the floor. He’s pretty, but in a boyish way that makes you want to never stop staring at him. “Take a deep breath for me okay? Can you do that?”

You nod your head, slightly shaking from the adrenaline, but he holds you as you take a few deep breaths. 

“Good, you’re doing great! Can you tell me who you are, or how you just used your mind to take that knife back?” he tries a grin, but your eyes widen and you remember that you don’t know where you are and that all your friends just disappeared in front of your eyes. This man is most likely not the reason your friends are gone, but even despite the kind words and the fact that he’s not trying to kill you, you step back and attempt to break free from your bonds.

Peter panics, webbing you again, pulling you against his chest. Not even ten minutes ago he’s swinging around New York, and then all of a sudden, the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and he can almost feel a presence near him, a potential threat but... not exactly. He had swung as fast as he could, not even knowing where he was going, but as soon as he saw you, he knew something wasn’t right. You were absolutely beautiful, probably the most breathtaking woman he’s ever seen, but something inside him is telling him that you need to be detained. But looking at you, all he could see was a frightened girl who didn’t know where she was, and his first instinct was to help you. 

Your breathing picks up again, and tears start to fill your eyes. You squeeze them shut, bringing up your fists to cover your face. You almost never cry, but in this moment, you feel like your lungs are constricting and everything is hopeless. 

They’re gone.

I won’t find them. 

They’re already dead.

You’re lost. 

They. are. gone.

“Hey, hey! Listen to me, you’re alright, nothing’s going to hurt you. You’re safe, I got you. Just breathe...” his hands grab your face and pull you up, your bound hands falling and your eyes dropping with them. He follows your gaze, quickly breaking them, making your hands grip his fiercely. “What’s your name, tell me your name love, focus on that,” he says, all seriousness written in his features. 

“Y-Y/N..” you manage, your tearful eyes meeting his and he smiles. 

“Good, you’re doing so good Y/N, do you know where you are?” 

You blink, more tears falling down your face, “I don’t know, I don’t know-” Before you can panic even more he diverts your attention back to his face, reeling you back in. 

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay! You’re in Queens, do you know where that is?”

“N-New York,” you sputter, tightening your grip.

“Yeah! Yeah, you’re right. Do you live around here? Can I get you home or call someone?” You shrug your shoulders, not really knowing what to say. Something inside you is telling you that you are nowhere near home, even though he just said you’re in New York. As you think even more, everyone in New York, practically everyone in the world knows who you are, you’re an avenger. How does he not recognize you? And wouldn’t you know if there was another vigilante running around? 

He nods his head, “Okay, well, I’ll take you to the police station so-”

“No! No, don’t take me there, I need-” you shake your head violently, “I-I just need to know how I got here. I was at the compound with Steve Rogers and-” 

“Is Steve your friend, can we call him?” he interrupts, trying to find the quickest possible solution to help you. You stare at him with a blank face.

“You don’t know who Captain America is?” Now it’s his turn to look confused. 

“Who?” You gasp, pulling away from him, bringing your hands to your head.

“No, no, no, no, this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening. I thought maybe there was a possibility, but I never thought I could be right. There’s no way, no way-” 

He grabs your face again to look at you, “What are you talking about, what could you be right about? Where are you from, Y/N?”

“Queens...” you mumble, “Queens, New York. But not this, Queens.” For a moment, you think you’re gonna have to explain yourself but, for some reason, it looks like he knows exactly what you’re talking about. 

“The multiverse...” he whispers quietly. You nod your head, confirming what you both are thinking, and he opens his mouth but closes it again. 

“I don’t know how I got here, but I need help...” you say frantically, “my friends... they may have somehow gone to other universes too, and I don’t know how to get back!” You’re both quiet for a moment, and your ragged breathing starts to slow after a bit. You didn’t even realize he was still holding you, gently rubbing your arms. He stopped, giving you a nod.

“I’m Spider-Man,” he says, with a tight lipped smile. 

You look at him weird, “Is that like your alter-ego name or...” 

He blushes a little bit, “Right! No, yeah that’s my alter-ego name, my real name’s Peter Parker.” 

“Thank you, Peter Parker,” you say quietly, suddenly shy because you didn’t even know him yet and you already made a fool of yourself.

“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N. I’m glad I could help, even a little bit,” he nods his head. Noticing he’s still holding you, he lets go, rubbing his hands down his side and scratching the back of his head. 

“So um, you wanna come back to my place? You can stay with me until we figure out how to get you back?” He asks, avoiding your eye until he quickly adds, “Only if you want to of course!” 

You laugh a little, nodding your head, “Sure, thank you.”

“No problem at all,” he says. He puts his mask back on and puts your arms around his neck, then tightly holds you around the waist. “Hold on tight!”

... 

3 months later

“Ow!” Peter groans, throwing his head back on the chair. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” you mutter through your teeth, trying to stitch his side as quickly as you can. Ever since you starting staying with him, you would always patch him up when he’d come home after a long night. He told you you didn’t have to pay him back for staying with him, but you offered to do things to help out anyway. One of those things being patching him up when he’s hurt. And right now, even though he’s the one in pain, he’s trying to comfort you, because he knows you don’t like seeing him like this. 

“It’s fine, just stung,” he looks down at his wound before looking back up at you. You were concentrated, your tongue poking out like it always does when you’re focused. He can’t help but hiss again, grabbing your arm as he groans in pain. You cry out again and again that you’re sorry, but he only rubs your arm in comfort, letting you know you have nothing to be sorry for.

“I’m done, I’m done now,” you breath out, placing a bandage over it so it doesn’t tear. You smooth it gently onto his skin, as carefully as you can. He breaths out a sigh of relief, picking his head up to look at it. 

“Good job, better than I would have done,” he says jokingly. You roll your eyes, knowing that it was a total lie. 

“Don’t boost my ego too much, Parker,” you smirk, handing him a bottle of water and some medicine to make him feel better. He waves it off, and you give him a look. 

“I’ll be fine in a couple of hours, don’t worry.”

“You say that, but last time when I woke up you were still groaning in pain! Take the damn medicine,” you say sternly. He chuckles, giving you a smile.

“Yes, ma’am.” You blush a little bit, getting up to wash your hands in the bathroom. When you come back, he’s pushing himself off the stair, standing up with a hand on his abdomen. 

“Hey, where do you think you’re going mister?” you run over to him, catching him right before he fell back down. He puts his other arm around your neck, keeping you there as you attempt to get him back down. 

“Ya know, I never had this,” he says, looking into your eyes. You hold him, but don’t try to move this time. 

“What do you mean?” you ask quietly. 

“Before I met you... nobody patched me up when I came home. I don’t let my Aunt May see any part of what I do, and... I don’t have very many friends,” he laughs.

“Why not?” you ask.

He frowns a little, “I can’t put anybody in danger, them knowing me... it could ruin their life.” 

“I know the feeling,” you force out a laugh, your gaze towards the floor. You’re both quiet a moment, his finger eventually coming up to lift your chin to look up at him. You stare at him, watching his eyes jump between your lips and your eyes. “Peter-” 

Suddenly, his face rushes towards you and his lips touch yours gently, almost shyly at first, before you’re wrapping your arms around his neck and his hands hold your face close to his. His hands slide down to your neck, slowly, and then down to your waist, where he grips you and holds you closer to him tighter. You take his face in your hands and move back, taking a deep breath and resting your forehead on his. 

“I’ve wanted to do that since the minute I laid eyes on you,” he mutters, one hand coming up to rub your cheek gently. You lean into his hand, kissing his palm gently. 

“Why now?” 

He doesn’t know what to say first. Honestly he doesn’t really know the answer to that. But he knows the first time he saw you, it almost felt like seeing a sunset for the first time. Or eating your favorite food after a really long day. Or coming out of water for a breath of fresh air. It felt like falling in love. 

“I couldn’t hold it in any longer,” he shakes his head, “Meeting you that day felt like I just met the most important person in my life. It felt like I could finally breath after all the air got sucked out of my lungs, it felt like I fell in love.”

You shake your head, closing your eyes and dropping your head onto his shoulder, “Peter-” 

“You don’t have to say anything-”

“I love you.” 

Peter’s eyes widen, and then he smiles so big it almost makes you stop crying. Almost. When he realizes you’re crying because you’re upset, his eyes turn sad and his hands grip your face.

“Baby, why are you crying? I love you-”

“I’m so scared,” you sputter out, hating to see the worry in his face that you’re taking your confession back, “I really miss my friends, but I fell in love with you and I wouldn’t be able to go back.”

“Hey, look at me,” he says, “I would go anywhere you go. Fuck the universe, alright? It’s you and me now, you got that?” You shake your head fiercely, making him smile at you and rest his lips on your forehead. 

“You and me?”

“You and me.”

nerdy boyfriend!takuma who you managed to pull by being a little weird and unhinged

boyfriend!takuma who adores your quirks. you balance his ungodly amount of “negative aura”

boyfriend!takuma who has never been with another girl besides you :( he’s a lil inexperienced and nervous, but he means well

boyfriend!takuma who’s a soft dom with a golden retriever personality. he really just loves you and wants to see you smile

boyfriend!takuma who can only be mean sometimes when you really ask for it

boyfriend!takuma who’s gotten pretty good at starting things when he’s horny… it only took a few years to build his confidence

boyfriend!takuma who only just now started to understand your “signals”.. you’re too shy to flat out start things with him, but you know you want it. this usually results in you just standing next to his gaming setup awkwardly, hoping he’ll just understand your unspoken rizz

boyfriend!takuma who looks up at you and raises his eyebrow with a small smirk. “you need something, baby?”

boyfriend!takuma who knows damn well what you need, but he likes to tease you — he loves seeing you get all awkward and shy, playing off your intentions

boyfriend!takuma who takes his headset off and hangs it up, standing up from his chair with a small stretch. his shirt raises up a bit so you can see his sinful happy trail seeping down into his boxers

boyfriend!takuma who merely chuckles when you try to turn the tables on him by saying, “oh, you think that you’re going to get some every time i come in here and just stand here?”

boyfriend!takuma who responds with, “yeah princess, i do.” before he bends you over the bed, yanking your pants and panties down to rail you from behind as mean as you want him to <3

boyfriend!takuma who can go for hours, holding your pretty face into a pillow as he gives you just what you need — a good fucking to fix your attitude

boyfriend!takuma who presses kisses all over your face, doting on you after you both have finished multiple times. aftercare is one of his favorites because then he can yap to you about how he shit on a whole lobby of 13 year olds in cod

I love hobie brown. I wish british people were real..

CHRIS IS SO TALENTED

Maybe I have a thing for dominant men-formed things

with the same sweet shock

(connor x f!reader smut)

summary: sometimes, feelings simply can't be repressed, despite knowing nothing could ever happen. besides, connor wasn't deviant, and he seemed very intent on interrogating the latest rogue android.

until he wasn't, and was instead on his knees in your office.

warnings: nsfw, semi-public sex, oral (receiving), fingering, p in v sex, unprotected

word count: 2.5k

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Connor was interrogating someone again.

Goddamnit. It should've been just another day at the station. Taking cases, arranging files, maybe spending an hour or two in a room with middle-aged men who couldn't tell a pair of handcuffs from a taser. Going out on call if something required your expertise.

You see, you'd been assigned a special direction: deviance detection, along with an RK-800 model. Connor. You'd initially recoiled from the pseudo-human, with his unfaltering politeness and staunch determination to root out every rogue android in sight. But as you peered through the one-way glass and cocked your head slightly in observation, watching intently as the android pried information out of his latest target, you found yourself experiencing a very different kind of emotion. It was certainly not disgust, and certainly more than intrigue.

It was desire. Hot, burning, broiling want.

You'd been here before. In fact, every time the man had even looked in your general direction, or graced the room with a commanding presence that wordlessly conveyed his policing proficiency, your heart decided to skip and leave you breathless. No, you corrected yourself: not 'man', android. You couldn't afford to recognise him as anything but. God knows if you'd be able to hold yourself back if you did.

This machine was pacing now, circling the table, taunting as the trembling suspect's LED glowed blaring red. His hands were clasped behind his back, fingers locked together, a singular curl of brown hair falling to his forehead as his head dipped downwards to speak into the deviant's ear.

'You can't hide it forever, you know,' Connor murmured, dulcet tones crackling through the intercom. 'I know the truth. All you have to do is open your mouth and give it to me.'

A throbbing that had been building for an hour was now reaching an unbearable intensity. You knew he didn't mean to whisper innuendo, but this was the sentiment you took regardless as your thighs squeezed together. Any kind of friction to satiate the growing need.

After a few minutes, he was clearly growing restless. The room became perceptibly quieter, sensing the change in approach, and you jumped involuntarily as two artificial hands suddenly slammed with a resounding metallic smack onto the table.

You didn't wait to see his next onslaught; as the shouting began, Connor obviously seeing no sense in stalling any longer, you excused yourself and swiftly exited the observation room. Though everyone must've suspected the shock of the android's outburst was too much to handle, or perhaps you'd simply gotten tired of waiting, or even just needed a bathroom break - you heard Hank remark as such upon leaving - the true reason for your distress, that had thus far remained buried deep within, was surfacing.

He seemed so... human. Androids didn't lose their temper when a suspect took to long to budge. Androids didn't narrow their eyes and tilt their head in concentration. Androids weren't warm and soft, or have foreheads that glistened with a faint sheen of sweat, or fidget their fingers on the desk, or-

You stepped into the protective shield of your office, situated slightly away from the main floor of the department, leaning your hands on the front of your desk and sighing deeply. No matter how hard you tried, the emotion couldn't be suppressed. You wanted him, and there was nothing you could do about it. An android. And one who would never feel the same way about you, of all things, so focused on his mission as he was.

But as you rocked back and forth slightly, closing your eyes and attempting to steady yourself, there was a sudden knock at your door. You flinched, shocked from your thoughts, and turned around to see the very object of them stood outside the room.

You swallowed hard, knowing you couldn't afford to avoid him, lest it become a habit, and waved him in.

You attempted civility. 'I take it you were successful?'

'I achieved my aim, yes,' he nodded, closing the door gently behind him. 'My apologies for the length of the process. I didn't anticipate the deviant to hold on for so long.'

Though you nodded, you found you couldn't hold his gaze any longer, and averted your eyes. Perceptive as always, he picked up on your discomfort.

'You're upset,' he observed, hands clasped at his back. 'Was it the interrogation? I meant no ill-will in becoming forceful, detective. Taking the aggressive approach seemed only fitting, given the suspect's lack of compliance.'

You shook your head, placing a hand helplessly on your temple as you leaned back against your desk. 'Connor, I- no. It wasn't that.'

'Then what?'

His voice, ever-laced with concern, seemed to pry for more. What was this? Analysis to reveal your secrets? The lust that you kept hidden, afraid of what might be?

'I can't.'

But the android's posture suddenly changed as you raised your head, meeting his eyes. 'What if I already know?'

You froze. 'Wh- what?'

He began to move forward uncertainly, testing the waters. You couldn't move even if you wanted to. 'Are we pretending, here? Ignoring what we both know to be true?'

Breath coming in shallow gasps, you tried your own voice. 'Where's your formality gone? It isn't like you to avoid a point.'

He smiled a little. 'How do you know what I'm usually like, hm? Would it be so impossible for this to simply be a ruse?'

Your eyes glanced to his LED. Instead of glowing blue as you'd come to expect, the ring swiftly faded into a pulsing amber. Deviancy?

'You've had a remarkable effect on me, officer.'

Was this really happening? Had you hit your head on the way from the interrogation room, and now only hallucinated the words you'd been waiting to hear since his arrival months ago?

He was closer than ever now, advancing until his hands lay atop the table on either side of your quivering form, now confident in your reaction.

'There's people-'

'Then,' Connor murmured, 'Would you allow me to close the blinds?'

You nodded swiftly, and he moved wordlessly towards the windows to hide your actions from the prying eyes of the department. But as soon as he'd locked the door, you found you couldn't resist the temptation any longer: you lurched off the desk and strode forward, turning him around and pushing him back against the doorframe, meeting his lips with a force that took away his breath.

As you pulled away suddenly, searching his face with concern that you'd somehow misread the situation, his surprised expression suddenly shifted into burning desire as he captured your lips once more, pulling your hips into his with insistent hands. Your own arms lifted to wrap around the back of his neck, urging him ever-closer as your body pressed flush against him, drawing a groan from his throat that stoked the fire in your belly to a fever pitch. His hands then began to roam, lifting your shirt slightly to grace the burning skin there, cradling your lower back and causing a whimper to escape you involuntarily as your chest heaved.

You brought a hand up to cup his face, pulling away. 'Wait... is this okay? Are you, y'know...'

He smirked, eyes flicking down to scan your body, still pressed against him. If you were told that a man could devour with only a look, you would've believed it. 'How about we talk about my deviancy status after this, hm? I have things to attend to first.'

You shuddered as he began to drag his hands over your chest, fondling through your shirt. 'May I?'

'God, yes. Just... anything, please.'

He said no more, moving to kiss your neck as he made short work of the buttons, slipping the blouse from your shoulders and unclasping your bra, lips moving steadily down to caress the supple skin of your breasts. Your chest heaved ever-desperately, keening into his touch while also yearning for more concrete contact. One element was notably missing his attentions.

'Connor, please,' you whispered, or rather groaned, as he lifted his head and narrowed his eyes. Teasing. Though you weren't sure if the plea was for him to stop tempting you in public, or to quit his stalling and drive his head between your thighs in front of the desk.

'I should really report you for deviancy, you know,' you whispered, voice trembling as he lifted you suddenly from your position, moving over to the table in his arms. 'Such- such inappropriate behaviour. Not related to your mission at all.'

He placed you onto the desk, and you dared meet his eyes, heart almost stopping at the darkness there, clouded with lust. 'Who are you to tell me what my mission is, hm?'

Mercifully, he began to kneel down, fingers gracing the insides of your thighs, raising your skirt to kiss the sensitive skin there as you shuddered at his touch. You shivered, the contact stoking the need that he swiftly moved up to, tugging your underwear down and casting it aside. Looking up at you through hooded lids, mouth open and breath heaving, he finally moved his mouth forward to plant a kiss at your clit, holding your gaze all the while. Though the anticipation threatened to overwhelm you, you didn't dare break the stare as he lifted one leg so that it rested over his shoulder, before parting your lips gently with his thumbs and licking a stripe from your entrance to the centre of your pleasure, a groan emanating from his throat as you grasped his hair and pulled him in.

The best thing about androids, you soon discovered, was their inability to become exhausted. As he began to lick insistently at your clit, focusing on finding the right rhythm to make you keen against him, you found him to be totally inexorable in his efforts. The pleasure began to build, coiling thick and fast in your core as he became more insistent, eventually sliding a finger inside and humming softly as you threw your head back, moaning gutturally as one finger became two. The attentions on your clit never ceased, but his fingers began to move; slowly at first, testing the resistance, but then curled gently upwards in short strokes.

'God- Connor, oh my god...' you groaned, leaning forwards slightly and pulling his head in further still as your legs began to shake. The pleasure was starting to take shape now, building steadily into a release you'd fantasised about since that first meeting. Then, in the span of a millisecond, his fingers brushed against something that almost caused your collapse.

You felt him pull away slightly, and you looked down; 'Ah...' he breathed, stopping his motions for a moment. 'Found it.'

You shook your head in disbelief as he restarted his ministrations with a new vigour, honing in on that magical spot within you that could devastate the world from existence. Again and again he stroked and twisted, building the pleasure until it began to explode in your centre.

'Connor, I'm-'

But this warning was all you could give; he suddenly rested his free hand on the small of your back and tugged you in to almost sit atop his face, pressed into his mouth, and the assault on your core became too much to bear. You came with a shuddering cry, groaning as the waves washed over you and pulled you down into oblivion. He continued his affections through the aftershocks, stopping only when you lifted your leg back down and dragged him back up, sighing as you kissed him and tasted yourself on his tongue.

You only waited a minute before you dragged your palm over his clothed chest and down to his trousers, gracing your hand over the front before palming at him gently. As he grunted slightly, you grinned in satisfaction as you felt his hardness straining through the material.

'Is this all for me, hm? You get this hard just from tasting me?'

But you knew already that Connor wasn't one for submission; he placed his hand atop yours, guiding it upwards slightly to the cool metal of his belt.

'You feel what you do to me? You want more of what I just gave you, hm? You wanna take me, all of this? I can tell you're desperate for it.'

The belt slipped away, and you leaned back on your elbows as he dropped the remaining clothes to reveal... well, you hadn't been with many, but you weren't sure exactly how it would fit. He saw your surprise and smirked, drawing closer to you as precum beaded at the tip. 'You think you can take it?'

It was all you could do to nod, desire blazing wantonly in your chest. Your hair fell in front of your face as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed him deeply, pulling away only to gasp for air as he eased gently in, stilling to wait for you to adjust to his size. He groaned as he slowly pushed deeper, thrusting gently until he was seated fully within you. You'd never been filled so completely before, so deliciously. You couldn't imagine what it would be like when he moved.

'Sh- shit...' Connor groaned, eyes closed and brow creased in pleasure as he rested his forehead against yours. 'I knew you'd feel good, so- so fucking tight. So wet for me.'

'All for you,' you whispered, sliding your hands down to grip his back, ghosting over his ass and pulling him in. 'Only for you.'

Then, mercifully, he began to move. The world faded away, including your care for anyone else in the office, as he pounded into you with a force and precision that left you breathless and gripping onto him for dear life. You were suddenly grateful for the office's - granted, somewhat limited - soundproofing as he pulled sounds from deep in your chest that you couldn't believe you were making, locating spots within you with dizzying accuracy. Again and again he brushed against something perfect, groaning as the pleasure made your walls clench around him.

'I won't last long if ya' grip me like that, baby,' Connor gasped, kissing you fervently. 'I want you to cum again first. Come on... give it to me.'

You couldn't have denied him the privilege if you tried. As he chased his own pleasure, breath shuddering against your mouth as the tightness of your building orgasm spurred on his own, you suddenly felt the wave rising again, threatening to pull you under. It was all you could do to bury your head in his shoulder, grasping onto the side of the desk as he thrusted at a dizzying pace. One, two, three, four...

The fifth thrust broke the tide, and it took you up and threw you back down into his arms in a crashing orgasm that crushed you from the inside out. As you clenched impossibly tighter around him, you felt his pace still as his own pleasure crested and he moaned deeply into your neck, kissing you with a satisfied groan as synthetic liquid burst deep into you.

Twenty minutes later, you'd both rearranged your clothes as a voice crackled onto your radio, heralding your return to your duties. It was easy to forget that you were there to do a job, not just to fuck in your office.

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My cute bear

Miss You Already

"Toji, you do this every time." You have your massive bear of a man clinging to you, watching you through the mirror on your vanity as you apply lipstick. He watches your fingers mold around the cylindrical make up product, before his attention shifts to the dark, bloody shade of red that you're smearing on your lips.

"Do you really wanna go? You don't have to. You can stay in with me," he suggests, wrapping his arms tighter around your waist.

You smile at him through the mirror, already noting the subtle longing expression on his face, though, you haven't even left, yet. "I'll be back, baby." You drop the lipstick into your make up bag and zip it up, taking one final look at yourself in the mirror to see if anything needs to be adjusted or tidied up.

"You don't have to go," Toji repeats, slowly dragging a hand up your body to cup your breast. Almost instantly, he feels your nipple harden and press against the material of your dress. "Stay and look pretty, just for me," he murmurs, rubbing the stiffened peak. His other hand pushes up your dress and makes its way between your thighs to tease you over your panties. "I'll take such good care of you. You won't even be bummed about ditching your friends."

You let out a soft sigh, when Toji's fingers apply pressure to your clothed clit, the sultry sound followed by an equally seductive laugh, as you gently pull his hands off of you and turn around to absorb the neediness he's doing a poor job of hiding.

"It's just a couple hours," you assure, but clearly, that's not enough of a reason for Toji to relent, because he wordlessly takes your hand and puts it on his clothed hard on. He moves your hand back and forth over the bulge, not breaking eye contact with you for a second. "I know, honey," you coo. "I'm sorry. I swear, i'll let you do whatever you want to me when I come back, okay? I'll make it up to you."

"No, doll. Please," he almost whines, walking into your embrace and burying his face into your neck. "Stay," he pleads, brushing his lips over your delicate skin. "I want you."

"Baby." You laugh, letting your hands settle on his back.

He's nosing at your neck and your jaw, getting strong whiffs of the pretty scent you spritzed on. "Need you, pretty. Please don't."

You don't know what it is about going out, that turns Toji into the clingiest man ever. Your friends tell you that their partners practically push them out the door and say that it's fine for them to go out, as long as they act responsibly, and yet here you are, fighting for your night out.

"Alright, Toji. Come on," you say, patting his back. He pulls away from you and follows you to the bed. "Sit, baby," you instruct, when he just stands there, staring at you like a dog that's about to be abandoned. He does as you say and sits down on the bed, watching as you climb up and sit on your knees. "Pull it out. Come on, let me see it," you say, with a sly little grin.

He lifts his hips and pulls down the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers, freeing his drooling cock. He then wraps his hand around the length and smears his oozing precum over it, eliciting a few quiet, low groans. You crawl over to him and straddle his lap, holding his gaze with a soft smile on your face, when his hands go under the skirt of your dress to move your panties aside.

"I know you don't want me to go, baby," you start. His leaking tip meets your warm, soft skin and instantly, a chill runs down his spine. He pushes the tip in and you begin to slowly lower yourself onto him. "I-I know," you utter, trying to keep it together as you take in more and more of him. Once you're fully seated, you let out a sigh, and wrap your arms around his neck, leaning forward to speak softly into his ear. "I'll be back in a couple hours. Before midnight, love." You raise your hips and lower them again, luring a small, but needy groan from him. "You have my location, so you'll be able to see where I am."

"Mhm," Toji hums, dragging his blunt nails up and down your back.

"And you'll know when I'm on my way home," you murmur, kissing his earlobe and giggling at the sight of the lipstick that transferred onto his skin.

"Yeah... That too, mama," he replies. His hands go lower, beneath your dress, again, to rest on your ass for a mere second before he starts rubbing and squeezing it.

"And—fuck, baby—you'll see when i'm right around the corner."

"Twenty s-seconds," he says, breathily, as you leave more kisses on his ear.

"Right, twenty seconds," you say, pressing a kiss to his temple, knowing it'll leave a red lip print behind. "Twenty seconds, and the car-" you cut yourself off with a sharp gasp, lured out by the feeling of his fingers reaching your clit and rubbing it. "Fuck," you moan, when he bucks his hips up to meet your movements. "Twenty seconds and the... the car, will be parked in our driveway."

"And then you'll be home," Toji says, certainty riddling the statement.

"Then, I'll be home," you confirm, pressing a kiss beneath his eye, then another one on his cheek. You hear his low chuckles and when you lean back to look at him, he has the most lovestruck expression on his face. "What? You like my kisses?" You ask, reciprocating his loving gaze.

"Your lipstick is smudged," Toji says, his eyes pinpointed to the color that escaped the lines of your lips. You still look gorgeous, even with that slightly messy detail. His breath catches when you roll your hips on him a little faster and lean in to decorate his face with more a your warm, affectionate kisses. "Fucking love your kisses, ma." He can see hints of the color you left on his skin through his peripheral vision and he notices that each time you pull away, you have less color on your lips. By the time you finish covering his face and the side of his neck with kisses, the pigment that once was on your lips, remains as merely a faded blush.

"It's all gone, doll," Toji groans, breathing a little more heavily as you up the pace of your hips one more time. He sounds like he's just as close to his peak as you are.

"I know... It's okay. Do I still look pretty?" You ask, your breathy laugh mingling with the sweetness of your sultry sounds. Without a warning, Toji leans in and kisses you in a manner full of affirmation. He's guiding your hips, assisting you in quickly bouncing up and down his cock, now. Every sound you make is sealed in the kiss and greedily devoured by him, and when you both cum, the kiss gets sloppy and you lose synchronization, leaving both of you to just moan, groan, and pant into each others mouths. The overly tight grip he uses to still your hips to avoid overstimulation, would be painful if you weren't so blissed out by your orgasm.

"Fucking gorgeous," Toji mumbles. He tilts your head slightly to expose the side of your neck and presses gentle kisses along the area, just before sucking on the delicate skin and leaving his own longer lasting mark on you. "There you go, pretty baby. Gave you a little peck, too," he says, after rubbing the small patch of his saliva into the mark.

The sight before you makes a lazy smile curl on your lips. Toji's entire face is scattered with your red kiss prints—even his lips have a slight tint to them. He looks loved, and by the looks of the soft expression on his face, he must feel like it, too.

You slowly lift yourself off of Toji and he fixes your underwear, patting the front, before letting you get off the bed. You head to the bathroom to fetch him a towel, and once you hand it to him, you make your way over to your vanity and use a make up wipe to remove the previous layer of lipstick, so you can reapply a new layer on a clean slate.

You see Toji looking at you from his spot on the bed and smile at him before zipping up your make up bag. Once you feel satisfied with the way you look and you finish buckling the ankle straps of your heels, you go over to Toji to say goodbye.

"You look like Valentine's Day incarnate," you tease, running a thumb over one of the kisses on his cheek. He wants to smile, but all he can think about is how in a minute, you'll be gone and he'll be spending the next few hours alone. You see that same longing look from before return. He looks so soft and it's chipping at your heart, but you can't fall for it. He does this every. time. It's only a couple hours. You'll be back with him before you know it.

"Take a nap or try to sleep through. When I get back and finish dressing down, I'll slide right into bed with you, alright?" You offer him a soft smile, and wait for him to respond so that you can go.

Toji sighs, like it physically pains him to watch you leave. It's not going to be as easy to get to sleep without you. Getting a taste of your loving just made him want you to stay even more, but he knows he can't keep you from spending time with your friends. They don't see you every day, and he does. He wakes up to you every morning, he spends the rest of his day with you when he comes home from work—with the exception of those few times he accepts invites to hang out with his colleagues. Even on those rare occasions, he's never experienced you trying to convince him to staying home, because you know, at the end of the day, he'll take his place next to you in bed. Plus, it's not like you're sleeping over at one of their houses. When you're done hanging out with your friends, you'll come home, and you'll sleep next to him, as always.

"Yeah, okay," Toji says, finally letting up, to avoid holding you back any longer. "Call me for whatever reason. You know you don't need one."

You lean down and leave a dark red kiss on his forehead, then wait for him to meet you halfway for a peck on the lips. "Love you," you murmur.

"Love you, ma," Toji responds, catching one more sweet smile from you, before you leave the bedroom and set out for your night.

Beginner's Guide to Tumblr

Choose an aesthetic!

℘ As you can see on my blog, I've chosen a brown and yellow/orange cafe vibe. Before that, it was a sunrise with an overflow of yellow, and before that, it was purple and pink cyberpunk.

℘ The great thing about Tumblr is how easily you can decorate your blog and make it truly yours to reflect your personality, so you can have a home to get all comfy in

℘ I recommend going on Pinterest or your favourite blogs for ideas. Choose a colour scheme (pastels, maroon, black and white, foresty green etc), a vibe (warm, exciting, dark, light, angelic, witchy etc)

℘ Play around with dividers which you can make on Canva, or other platforms -- there are many tutorials out there! You can also use other creators' but follow their rules (most will want to be credited via a tag or by reblogging their works, please be sure to respect their wishes) I use @/enchantings very often but these days I'm trying to make my own

℘ You can also use fun colours and different layouts for your post. Pick and choose the things you like to make your own but be sure you don't copy other people. If you like gradient text (like the one I use for my title), you can use stuffbydavid.com (@/screampied has a tutorial in their faq)

℘ If you want to have cute little symbols like these: ℘ ✧˚ ⋆｡˚ (≖_≖ ) use cool symbols.top . Play around with it.

℘ Be original!

Make a Navigation post!

℘ This is important, even if you have no plans of posting your own creations, because it is a further reflection of who you are. If you want to have followers, you'll need a Navigation post for them to refer to. It's your blog's headquarters.

℘ A Navigation post is your pinned post and it contains preliminary information about yourself like your age, your rules for interaction, your masterlists, your faq etc. If you're a creator, tell people what it is you predominantly do, the way I've said I write for JJK mostly

℘ You can decorate it too, reasserting your aesthetic and the vibe you want to go for. Show off who you are and what you want people to know!

Tumblr rules!

℘ Always credit other people you take direct inspiration from

℘ If you don't like a post, scroll on. Sometimes things just aren't for you. And you can always filter tags you don't want to see or block the creator

℘ Don't argue with people in the comments, others have a right to express their thoughts, whether you agree or not, the same way you do

℘ Put your age in your bio. Especially if you interact with nsfw/18+ content. Most creators have rules and boundaries in place where they only want 18+ individuals to interact so for your safety and for their comfort, clearly outline your age please.

What, other than writings and art, can I put on my blog?

℘ You can reblog other people's works with your own comments and thoughts! Contribute to threads and conversations. Reblogs are always appreciated for creators too because it gets their work out there further

℘ You don't have to write fanfiction, you can also post food/restaurant reviews, pop culture news, memes etc.

℘ Just ramble about your interests, the world is your oyster!

I can't keep living like this

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