Why Are We Silent???

Maybe just ask her.

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine

SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.

“I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”

“I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”

Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.

In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.

Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.

“I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”

“There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”

Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.

“It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”

While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.

“I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”

“I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.

At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

Also back to potlucks, I know that all the church potlucks I’ve been to ( at several different churches) they will always try to send leftovers home with big or struggling families. Family took a pay cut, take home the last half of that casserole. Family of 8 takes home the second in opened enchilada tray. They also always label who made the food because you never take home your own dish ( unless it was picked clean) some one else will have your dish, and they need to know who to return it to. Some communities also have programs where people can make home cooked meals and they will be delivered to struggling families, I know when my dad lost his job our local program sent us at least one batch of home made cookies a month.

Note to vacationing non-Americans: while it’s true that America doesn’t always have the best food culture, the food in our restaurants is really not representative of what most of us eat at home.  The portions at Cheesecake Factory or IHOP are meant to be indulgent, not just “what Americans are used to.”

If you eat at a regular American household, during a regular meal where they’re not going out of their way to impress guests, you probably will not be served twelve pounds of chocolate-covered cream cheese.  Please bear this in mind before writing yet another “omg I can’t believe American food” post.

Everyone!! After years and years, Paint Tool SAI is finally getting an upgrade! Go try the Paint Tool SAI 2 beta! 

Just a few of the new features:

64 bit/multi-core support

Font tool with text layers

Bigger canvases! Up to 100,000 x 100,000px canvas size for 64 bit

Bigger max brush size (up to 5000px)

Circle and line rulers

Perspective ruler (guide lines for 1 - 3 point perspective)

Select/edit multiple layers at once

Upgrade for free if you already have a SAI 1 license

Paint Tool SAI is my number one recommended art program for digital painters and this just makes it even better! The new font tool and canvas size limits, especially, should make it so much easier for people trying to make comics.

This is still in beta, so it’s untranslated and has some bugs. But it’s still great news! Go try it out!

As a Californian Dude is how you address everyone and everything, and I legit did not know that the rest of america didn’t do this. 

Reblog if you have used dude as a non gender specific term.

Also:

The clones calling themselves brothers

One clone telling some tall tale about rescuing a damsel in distress, to which the othe clone replied “You’ve never met a girl.”

Muma, the little twi’lek girl that got adopted by two clones

“How come every time you fly we crash?” “It’s not my fault it’s the ship!” -Anikin Skywalker (one of the best pilots of Obi Wan has ever known)

Mace Windu straight up calling Obi Wan ugly.

Battle droids calling Obi Wan impressive, only to be immediately killed by Grievous

Dooku, Anikin, and Obi Wan getting tied together in a line.

Asohka. enough said

And this dude

Why Clone Wars is the best thing ever:

R2 has literally murdered someone on screen and was covered in their blood the whole episode.

Space Godzilla.

Jar Jar and 3PO found Anakin’s cloak on Padme’s ship. I’ll let you put two and two together.

“Are your scopes…Jedi issue, sir?”

Embo’s frisby hat.

Ahsoka and Anakin snuck behind enemy lines by hiding under a goddamn box.

Grievous had his droids destroy a pirate ship just for the hell of it.

Mace and Jar Jar have actually been on a buddy cop mission together.

Two completely unrelated instances of zombies appearing. 

Obi-Wan had tea with an enemy general.

Five seasons later Maul had tea with a mandalorian terrorist.

Ahsoka’s first big mission was babysitting a slug.

Rex hitting his head on a pipe.

Blue Shadow Virus is literally the Black Plague. In SPACE.

Everything else. The whole show is a masterpiece.

Alphonse Elric could continue to be an optimistic cinnamon roll because his big brother spent most of their childhood shielding him from the reality that they had been failed by every adult in their lives. Edward grew up feeling like he couldn’t count on anyone. Al knew he could always count on Ed.

The amount of stupidity both baffles and amazes me.

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

Ron Weasley

Lily Potter

People the HP movies did dirty:

Ginny Weasley

Draco Malfoy

James Potter

Feel free to add onto this

If you're still taking writing requests, how about "this is you thinking rationally?" for the Star Wars fandom?

Absolutely. Sweetness 😊 thank you for being my first request.

          The siege is going fine, okay? Maybe their initial push had a higher casualty count then expected, and sure Obi-Wan’s reinforcements weren’t going to come for another several days. But Anakin isn’t worried. He has no reason to be worried, because everything is going fine. “Sir we lost the nineteenth battalion.” Rex reported. Dammit! Okay maybe things weren’t so ‘fine’ after all. In truth the plan was for his invasion force to have taken double as much ground has they have by now. They need to gain control of the valley and surrounding mountains or else Obi-Wan won’t have anywhere to land his ships. Anakin was loosing men to quickly, the droid opposition was heavier than he expected. “Hold position, Rex. We can’t back down now.” Not that they could back down, since the 501st legion was dropped here with no retreat plan. In other words they have no way off the planet. Anakin was wracking his brain to figure out how they were gonna win this. The valley was essentially a basin surrounded by midsize mountains. If certain choke points on the mountain range is held by republic forces they will have a highly defensible position to land the 212th legion and continue their ground assault. But the problem was these choke points were under droid control, which meant that Anakin and his men were sitting ducks fighting up hill. If only he could get the high ground… Anakin ducked behind cover to give himself a moments rest, he was getting tired. And his Padawan was almost certainly more so. “Master, do you have another plan? Because I don’t think this one is working.” Anakin knew Ahsoka was using a snippy tone to disguise her anxiety but Anakin couldn’t help but snap back. “Not unless the coke points move about two clicks behind us!” As soon as the words left his mouth Anakin had an idea. Why can’t he move the choke points them selves further down the mountains? And Anakin had an idea of how to do it. “Rex! Contact Admiral Yularen. Tell him I need four precision bombardments.” “Uhhh… right away sir.” Rex answered hesitantly, and started to retreat back down the mountain to make the call. Ahsoka, on the other hand whirled around with her eyes wider than tea saucers. “What? Are you insane?” She demanded. “Think about it rationally Snips. We can’t move any farther up the mountains, so we’re going to get rid of the rest of the mountain. Ashoka gawked. Her jaw opened and closed rapidly. But Anakin didn’t bother waiting for her to find her words. “Fives, Echo, Hardcase! You boys are with Rex. You’re gonna make a run around the enemy and place beacons for precision strikes three clicks past each choke point.” “Have you told him that, sir?” Echo asked over the blaster fire. “You can tell him.” Anakin answered. “This is ‘rational’ to you?” Anakin grinned at his young Padawan, she had only been assigned to him for a month now she had much to learn. Apparently his winning smile was not enough reassurance for her. Rex was coming back up the hill with a new back pack, which probably had the beacons in them. “Rex, are you sure this is a good idea?” She asked the captain, looking for reassurance.” Rex tossed the back pack to Fives. “ I trust the General.” “That did not answer my question.” Anakin decided to interrupt there. “Rex I need you to go with Fives, Hardcase, and Echo. They’ll fill you in.” Rex saluted and hustled off. 

           The 501st held out for another hour and a half before the bombardment began. Eight republic warships fired with computer precision at each beacon causing a chain reaction in the mountains. The other side of the mountains avalanched taking the choke points with them, creating new choke points behind Anakin’s men. The clones whooped and cheered. Ahsoka still seemed utterly stunned when it worked. Anakin decided to personally commemorate the clones who placed the beacons himself. Rex has earned himself some early shore leave. When Obi-WAN and his reinforcements arrived he looked at the mountains surrounding the valley and frowned. “I thought they’d be taller...” Anakin pretended not to hear him.

“Human-Steve! I have been informed that you humans Celebrate an International holiday called Christ-Mass, and even though it seems to be a rather um... odd thing to celebrate, I have petitioned the rest of  the crew to celebrate this holiday with you.”

“Wait, what does Jeww-Ish mean.”

“It means you don’t celebrate Christ-Mass? Does that make you alike with the creature Human-Heather described to me as the Grinch?”

my fav trope is like, nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion

“look what I found while exploring this planet’s surface!” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm. *stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your rhythm, yes?”

“the book I purchased on ragnok V says humans require physical touch when upset. therefore, I shall engage in a ‘hug’ with you.” *supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*

*human sneezes* “OH MY GOD SIL'EEN GET THE MEDIC OUR HUMAN IS DYING”

“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans require companions and packmates in the form of small earth creatures. you should have told me this before we departed earth, but it is no worry. we will have to stop at the next trade planet to get you one of these ‘cats’ or ‘dogs’.”