Nob0dyyimportant

Rest.

Au where getting distortioned didn’t terminate Micheal’s contract, so he just kinda shows up every day, knife hands and all, and just does paperwork

nope, you can't fool me, I'm well aware that this is an inside joke from the season 1 blooper reel

'But asexuals are so harmless why would she come after them/us?' I mean apart from the fact trans people, intersex people and people of colour aren't harmful either and oppression isn't because a group deserved it and marginalised people don't need to be morally pure to not be discriminated against, no asexuality isn't harmless in conservatives' eyes. In an ideology where cis heterosexual marriage and sex for reproduction is seen as mandatory you having little to no sexual attraction ruins the whole set up. You can't 'be fruitful and multiply' in the way god intended. You have a nonsexuality that isn't being forced onto you by them. You're not repressing your desire in the name of god because you barely have any. You have control over your own body and you aren't supposed to do that. You're spitting in the face of conservative sexual and gender roles just by existing. Spit harder!

Unofficial part 2

Au where Michael just walked out of the distortion like that one dude from Mag 100. He’s shows up at the office the next day like “hey Getrude, what was that about?”

now we're talking

if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

tma is a show which spends the first 100 episodes going "look at these monsters. aren't they fucked up. yeah and they're all so happy being monsters who hurt people monstrously" and then the protagonist who you've spent hours listening to at this point becomes one of those fucked up monsters, forcing you to either dismiss him as evil or you have to fully change how you view all the previous monsters. and then they spend the next 100 episodes dealing with that