Nob0dyyimportant

Reblog if you support squishy bellies, have a squishy belly, or have the desire to summon satan

so i get tinnitus A LOT and sometimes it sounds like proper static. Well.

I just leaned back, saw a humanoid figure and in the exact same time the static sounded exactly like the one when the distortion shows up in tma.

and my first impulse? why, to do it again of course. I mean I didn’t, but that was my first impulse.

maybe the green doors are back! That’d be cool!!

It's interesting how in Fablehaven 2, Coulter is introduced as a sexist jerk who Kendra despises, and then in every other book, that's never mentioned again.

Kendra hugs him after being kidnapped in book 4 and she seems to have forgotten everything. Not me—my petty self would have been like "Wow can you believe I managed to get away from the Society without your help?? I'm just a girl, how did I do that??"

"Kendra I just didn't take you on a field trip like six months ago, get over it"

"but I'm just a girl tho???"

In retrospect, it’s pretty funny that the two things in the Magnus Archives that the ‘encase it in cement’ strategy were used against were:

an immortal supernatural entity trying to spread a deadly plague to bring about the apocalypse, and

a very large pig

They’re scared because they know that the public is with Luigi.

They’re violating his rights because they need to maintain capitalism.

Keep talking about Luigi.

stop telling me what not to draw. i do not care

just here to say that gertrude robinson is the single funniest character. she is THE character. she dies before the show even starts. shes an old lady that adopted an edgy teen and traveled the world. She is the avatar of one of the fourteen elditch horrors that feed on primordial fears, she had basically infite knowledge of everything and her plan to stop one of the rituals of a cult of another one of said list of eldrich horrors was to blow it up with a bunch of c4. we only find out about this because she stored all of the explosives in a random storage unit and the aforementioned edgy teen with mommy issues (who by the way, is dead, but when he died she sneaked into the morgue to put him inside a book) speaks through the book to the woman's succesor who, by the way, has no idea what the fuck is going on because neither she nor anyone else has bothered to explain shit to him, and tells him that she kept something important in the unit. we only find out about this after 100 episodes of the show. She feeds her subordinates to an all consuming monster/god, but its ok i guess. Later on (earlier on? at the same time? in a different timeline? after?) the literal end of the world and the end of the end of the world shes back and still has to deal with this stupid teenager who at least doesnt spend half his life focused on dyeing his hair and the other half about finding murder books (not as books about murder but as in, books who actively murder). She is a well experienced arsonist despite having no affiliation with the actual official arsonists club that is yet another cult to yet another one of the previously mentioned eldritch horrors. She is, however, metaphysically tied to the Chosen One, the Messiah of said cult, or some shit. She is absolutely terrible at her actual office job (on purpose). She dismembered a guy (who was her assistant) and probably commited several undocumented crimes against humanity. Once again, she has all seeing abilities and barely noticed her favorite assistant was torturing a coworker. She dares her murderous boss to kill her and gets surprised when he does so. When asked what to do about a literal Monster Pig, her advice is to encase it in cement. She was such a bitch. Her plan B was always to set things on fire. Her plan A was often to set things on fire. One of these instances was approved by her boss (the one who killed her). It is canon that the reason she started all this shit in her life was because the fire cult killer her cat. She sacrified another one of her assistants who became an avatar of the literal concept of Insanity but it was just a other thursday for her. She knows on a first name basis pretty much every person and monster affiliated with the eldritch horrors that she tries to keep at bay on the daily. She stopped a ritual for The Lonely by making the place a tourist destination. She has an ebay account. Instead of performing a ritual for the God that she was affiliated with, she wanted to destroy it and planned to 1. blind herself, and 2. set fire (yet again) to her workplace. It didnt work, because and her boss, who was also the one who was going to perform the ritual, finds her right before and kills her after she says he has no balls to do so. Also she is voiced by the mother of the main character's voice actor (who he named with his own, full, legal name) and the series' writer, which are the same person. Shes the worst, shes the best, i love her, we will never get anyone like her again, we need more characters like her.

I Lied to you. We aren’t having sex, put your clothes back on. It’s time for me to explain to you the entire plot the Magnus archives and tell you which fear entity you would serve.