Nimdeldunscozycorner - Nimdeldun

despite the amount of chemicals i have absorbed into my body and the external stimuli i have immersed myself in i am still not doing very well has anyone else on god's beautiful earth encountered this issue

source

eheehehehehehe…eeehehehe*slides my paw under your door* let me in

my horoscope told me it’s time to be a whore

It's fuck rules for me with my ADHD and feeling rules are important with my ASD, but I'm 27 now and have achieved balance of being like fuck rules to all rules that are not logical and comfortable for me as long as not following those rules doesn't hurt me or anyone else. I have my own rules and will protect my right to live by them as long it's not harmful to anyone. Like I have been told to forgive people who traumatised me to move on but I can't so I have started to say no, fuck them bc I don't think they deserve forgiveness and not forgiving makes it easier for me and they will never know anyway. So I hope karma gets them if it's meant to, but I find people claiming that the rule is you have to forgive to move on really illogical and not helpful. Not best example idk. Another one is that I'm disabled and unemployed but still expected to sleep and wake up by morning people's routine even tho mornings are depressing and I'm happier with waking 11 am to 12 pm and sleeping 12 pm to 2 am, I'm called lazy sometimes needing 12 h sleep and asked if something is wrong if I happen to sleep only 5 h. It's very random but I hate how I'm made to feel lazy for sleeping long and not waking up like 6 am when I don't need to. I can't live independently currently but I'm more than capable deciding how I sleep, like my parents haven't been able to make a rules for that like 15 years now so why do I still get judgement. Tbh they have been great about not forcing rules for food, masking or how I spend my own money, or what interests and hobbies I am too old for, or said anything about random collections I have like energy drink cans or dolls when I'm adult. About laws, I'm always like fuck them until you don't harm someone. I have broken ones that have been harmful to me and I learned from that by myself, throwing me in jail when I was active addict to basically everything is worst idea. I still don't understand all rules NT people have for not being weird in any way but I don't care anymore and I have embraced myself even if it means I'm weird one. I'm really not tbh, but still feeling like alien around NT people. I have big interest in witchcraft, satanism, demonolatry and occult so I decided to go fuck what people think and I have that alien feeling now again I hadn't had for years bc masking but I love being able to research topics that aren't so common and are seen as scary. So fuck rules unless it's rule that is meant to prevent anyone getting hurt because that's not okay as only necessary rule tbh is causing no harm to anyone. And apologising for accidental hurt. Also not ever harming cats, people who do because they don't like how cats decide who and what they like. Tbh I had lesson for life when I got my cat who's super friendly but hated my abusive ex when he visited me, and this cat hasn't disliked anyone after either. I like cats not caring about useless rules and I'm jealous that I can't hiss or scratch creepy people without consequences. Maybe I could hiss at creepy men but I would scare away others too because it's not socially acceptable reaction. Plus we did that as teenagers and I cringe imagining actually doing that as 27 year old.

Sorry for long reply but I'm unable to write short messages when topic is important for me. 😅

autistic punk culture is having really conflicting ideals about rules and shit, because one half of you is like “fuck ‘rules’, no one should control me but me” and the other half is like “:(( but you need to do this exactly like this :( because it says so :((“ and it’s just uUGHH

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“After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning And company doesn’t mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts And presents aren’t promises, And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes open With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child, And you learn to build all your roads on today Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn… That even sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul, Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure… That you really are strong And you really do have worth… And you learn and learn… With every good-bye you learn.”

— Jorge Luis Borges, You Learn

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ. 2024 will bring blessings.

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For those of you who have bravely chosen sobriety AND being anti-social.

that tiktok that’s like “name a single hobby of yours outside of media consumption” she got em a bit why lie