(x)

it’s nice to have a friend is not about having a different best friend during different stages of your life and is instead a progression of an imaginary friendship into a lifelong partnership, because after the school bell rings, sidewalk chalk is covered in snow and later when the church bells ring after she marries her best friend, the rice on the ground looks like snow, connecting the final verse to the first verse and therefore confirming that the same friend that that taylor passes notes with and sleeps in tents with and plays 20 questions with is the same friend she later on marries and the song sounds lonely and desolate like a still winter morning when the windows are frosted with snow but the chill hasn’t let itself into your bedroom just yet because it speaks to the inherent loneliness of growing up as a girl who falls in love with her best girl friends, but that lonely girl finally marries her best friend and that is why the song sounds lonely like a grey winter morning but at the same time comforting like a friend/love of your life running her fingers through your hair in bed on a grey winter morning, in this essay i will-

Taylor Swift attends 65th GRAMMY Awards in Los Angeles, February 05, 2023

we don’t need a hundred posts from the fandom listing reasons why you shouldn’t doxx and out someone and why it’s fucked up to do. what we need is a heavily homophobic and specifically lesbophobic fandom to realize everything they have done to contribute to what’s happening right now. any post you’ve ever made or reblogged or liked about how it’s gross for sapphics to speculate about taylor’s sexuality or to read her music as gay, any post you made joking about how you don’t hate the gays you just hate kaylors (who are mainly sapphics), any post about how it’s an invasion of privacy or disgusting or uncomfortable or projecting to speculate if taylor is part of the lgbtq+ community, any post that targets and alienates and isolates lgbtq+ fans is what allowed this to happen. doxxing and outing is not the first time this has happened in this fandom and it sadly will not be the last. if you’ve ever supported the posts that contributed to this culture that makes sapphics, minors and adults alike, a target of hate and violence, if you’ve ever thought it would be fun to make an anti kaylor blog and spend your free time screenshotting and publicly making fun of queer fans, if you’ve ever followed an anti kaylor/gaylor blog and read their posts for fun, if you’ve ever logged in to hate-read posts from kaylors and privately make fun of them in groupchats with your homophobic friends, if you’ve ever posted things like ‘why can’t kaylors just all die,’ if you’ve ever made tasteless jokes and laughed at our expense on your blog, you contributed to minors being outed, poc being outed, sapphics in countries where it’s not safe to be gay being outed. 

you’ve contributed, whether you think you have or not. we’re telling you that you have and you continue to and i hope the guilt of this eats you alive. i hope the idea of your homophobic posts leading to real people being outed haunts you. and don’t think you’re innocent if you’re just some blog who has never *really* said anything *too* bad. if you’ve ever made a complete mockery of kaylors/gaylors just because you’re uncomfortable with the idea of taylor being with women, you contributed to this culture that makes other people think it’s okay to go to the extreme lengths of outing someone. you are fucking responsible. and who are the ones who have to pay the price for your reckless and dangerous homophobia you’ve been perpetuating in this fandom? it’s the lgbtq+ fans erasing their social media (the only safe space they had to talk about being lgbtq+) and running for the hills and fearing for their safety and their lives all while you all are posting photos of the folklore photoshoot and talking about how pretty taylor is. 

your homophobia has lead to real people being outed to their families and friends. you, yes, you. and the best you can do is say “it’s bad to out people!! friendly reminder!!!” as if everything you’ve been posting for the past six years since taylor joined tumblr has not contributed to letting people think it’s okay to out someone. i’ve been watching people be outed and threatened for five years, it’s happened to me, it’s terrifying and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. don’t write panic posts about how it’s awful to doxx and out people. instead step back and evaluate who the fuck you are as a person, what you can do to remove all of your homophobic microaggressions from this fandom, and why you think real people being outed is proper retribution for them thinking taylor swift might be gay.

she is risen 🙏

but would you die for her in public?

august slipped away into a moment in time

august - taylor swift // the red canoe - paul hedley

2023

DROP EVERYTHING NOW

MEET ME IN THE POURING RAIN

KISS ME ON THE SIDEWALK

TAKE AWAY THE PAIN

There’s this ableist idea that the default is for people to have zero disabilities and mental illnesses. That’s why there’s a concept of there being “too many diagnoses” - because people totally assume there’s like, a Perfectly Normal Human to begin with and that that idealized body has zero brain issues or disabilities.

And that’s so wrong. That’s just as wrong as assuming non-intersex, cishet middle-class white guys are the Perfectly Normal Human of which everyone else is an imperfect copy.

We’re not made from a mould. We have endless variations and they aren’t divergence from some Perfectly Normal Copy, they’re literally the way life functions. There is no perfect copy. There are only variations, some of which have the privilege of being normalized.

But privileged people see themselves as the default, and “too many differences” can seem “made up” to them, because they’re not used to relating to people who are different. Unfortunately we mentally ill/disabled people absorb this idea too and it’s really hard to unlearn it when we’re stuck in a society that’s constantly reinforcing it.

We have to be gentle with ourselves and with each other and work on normalizing variations like mental illnesses, disabilities, etc., so the focus can be on meeting the needs of people who have them instead of just surviving ableism.

Yes