Thinking About Frat Boys Tommy And Steve Doing One Of Those Gay4pay Pornos. For Tommy Its A Chance To

Just here thinking about Steve getting isekai'ed. Like. One of my favorite things is reading generic isekai mangas/manhwas with overpowered protagonists and convenient situations at the point i don't even remeber wich ones i've read.

So imagine one Steve harrington getting summoned into an isekai, him being the basic hero who needs to defeat the demon King, going on a journey, making comrades, learning magic and using a sword, etc, etc.

But also, him having already lived the upside down. Steve being summon shortly after the events of the fourth season (just without eddie dying), with the experience of fighting monsters, the survival mode still in his system, with the fear that the monsters of this other world could came to his own through glowing magic circles just like he did.

Because of that, after the princess and the saint had promised him that he could go back to his own world, to his home, his friends (his family), at the shortest time possible after he got summon, didn't matter how much time he spend in this other world. He decides— like the self-sacrifice idiot with a hero complex that he is— that he would help.

Clue Steve living a whole isekai for almost a decade just to come back after a week had passed in his original world.

Of course The Party would have noticed Steve's missing, the Gates are still open, the whole town split apart, monsters hadn't started to appear but is only time until they do, so of course they are high alert and notice when one of them just go radio silent.

Nobody knows where he is, what happened to him, if he's still alive. And since the whole town is a mess they can't exactly do a search for a misssing person.

And just like he disappeared, he reappears one week later, Hopper founding him drinking beer in the only still open bar of town with more scars than before, carrying a sword in his waist and with all the powers and cofidence he gained in the magical world intact.

Now if Vecna decides to make his come back, he would stand no chance against the rage of a superpowered teenage girl, a rag tag group of teenagers, four tired adults and a returned hero with almost a decade of experience fighting beings more powerful than he.

*Steve on one knee proposing*

Eddie: you mean this romantically right?

Steve: seriously Eddie?

Eddie: look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't go propose to birdie

[REDACTED] moodboard

Photographer Steve and Model Eddie

Eddie is a famous model known for his temper tantrums and being aloof. No photographer has been able to catch any other side of him but bitchy and distant.

He has final say on everything, clothes, makeup and even the pictures they’re allowed to use. Photographers hate him. They actually draw straws or play roshambo for the dubious pleasure of photographing him.

That all changes when former war photographer Steve Harrington comes into the mix. He has his own set of rules. Max Mayfield is his makeup artist, Robin Buckley on hair, and Elinor Hopper as his fashion designer. He won’t use anyone else.

When a famous makeup brand decides to come out with a metal line, Eddie is the first to jump on board. And then he hears who the photographer is and throws a fit. But the makeup brand won’t budge. Either Eddie sucks it up or they go with someone else. Like Billy Hargrove.

That shuts Eddie up fast. The dude claims he’s “metal” but he’s punk and the very reason people confuse the two.

So he does his bitchy best to scare Steve off. He shows up an hour late in a raggedy band shirt, sweats, and flip-flops with an almost finished latte.

But Steve is unfazed. He knew Eddie would show up late so he doesn’t even start setting up until Eddie gets there.

Eddie pouts.

Then he notices that the only one there is Steve. There is no makeup artist, stylist, or hair stylist there. The clothes are though, which is weird.

Steve introduces himself and tells him that he likes to make sure his models are comfortable first before they even start getting ready. Especially with the fact that make brand wanted a naked shoot as part of it. That would be put in all the 18+ magazines.

Eddie is blinking at him in confusion. No one had asked about his comfort before and it stuns him for a moment. And he changes tactics. If being a brat won’t make this guy leave, maybe heavy flirting will and turns the charm up to eleven.

Steve is charmed, but he remains professional as he shows Eddie his ideas for the photo shoot and fuck, Eddie can’t help but like the idea. Starting the shoot off in white, fully clothed, and then the less clothes Eddie wears the darker the clothes get until the outfit right before the nude stuff is a black thong with a black, satin robe flowing over top.

Then the nudes would be photographed on red satin sheets, highlighting the makeup.

Eddie keeps dialing up the charm especially with Steve’s ladies as Eddie called them, but about half way through, he keeps the charm up because he actually likes them. Especially Steve.

Then it’s time to take the nude shots and Steve is on the bed with him taking close-ups and intimate shots that no one had dared take before.

Then the ad comes out and everyone is blown away. Not just of the makeup, but of how Steve photographed him. Like a lover taking personal shots for just the two them.

Suddenly Eddie, who was already a high class model, gets shot up to supermodel status. Wins model of the year and even several fashion awards for the shoot.

Then all those photographers who hated doing his shoots are instantly clamoring at his door for a chance to photograph him. But he refuses. He’ll only work with Steve and his team.

Then over the course of many shoots, they fall in love and everyone can see their relationship progress through the pictures Steve takes.

I want something Steddie to start here:

Eddie

I’m sorry. This is the last letter. I know you’d hate me if you found out who I really am, and I don’t want to see that. I don’t want you to know who you’ve been telling your secrets too. You wouldn’t want me to know them. You wouldn’t want to know me.

I’m so so sorry. Goodbye - X

He read it again and again when he got home, but Eddie couldn’t figure out what he’d done or what he’d said that made them end it. Sure, it was only letters, and Eddie didn’t know their name, or what they looked like. He didn’t even have a guess about who it was. A guy. That’s all he knew. But they’d been leaving letters in his locker since the second week of class. Two months in, when Eddie was losing his mind for having no way of replying, his secret writer told him he could leave a letter in a copy of the Hobbit in the school library. Since then, it was every other day, sending, then receiving. A slow motion conversation. It was his third go at his senior year, and the letters were one of the bright points.

The joy of a great campaign session could only stretch so far. His new sheepies were excellent, most of the worst assholes at school had graduated, and even if the teachers hated him, Eddie had taken the classes twice already. He knew what they wanted him to write in their homework.

Other than suffering through the freshmen talking about their beloved idol, Steve Harrington - despite the guy being a loser who was repeating his senior year - his life had been pretty great. The notes made everything a little bit brighter.

And now? Yesterday was sort of horrible, and he'd been excited to pick up the next note this afternoon. Mike caught the flu, and took down Jeff and Gareth. The session was already going to be a one shot, but down that many players, Eddie complained all week that they'd have to cancel entirely. Instead, Dustin dragged Harrington in with him. Horrible. The guy had never played before, and was so awkward and uncomfortable the entire time that it tanked the entire session. Eventually he called time. Ended the one shot without a conclusion. Pretty explicitly explained to Lucas and Dustin why.

Explained to Steve that he should have refused Dustin's demands. That he would never fit in with them. That he knew from the minute the guy walked in, that it was doomed. That there was a reason he hated jocks, and stayed away from them.

His bad mood was made worse by the way that Dustin and Lucas defended their idol, while Harrington himself picked up his things and silently left.

Eddie was so damn excited to pick up X's note, and see whether the guy had gotten the hobbits out of the Shire in Fellowship.

Instead.

Runner / End Of Beginning

Steve has never seen his father as upset, as furious, as he was when he got home with his final exam results. He'd known- suspected- that his father would flip when his results came in...

His father got angry at small things. Hearing that he'd had a party while they were away, that a girl went missing at that party, had been the closest Steve thought he'd ever get to recieving a beating.

But when he came home with his grades... when his father realized that his son, his supposed prodigy, barely passed...

Steve has never ran as fast as he currently is.

As soon as he'd seen an openning, a clear line to the door, he'd stumbled to his feet and bolted. He'd picked a random direction and ran. He isn't going to stop running until he physically has to stop, knowing that his father is most likely in his car, trying to find him.

He can't stop. He has to keep running.

Eventually, he has to pause. He has to catch his breath.

He leans against a trailer, panting. He prays that no one thinks to look outside and spot him. He prays that no one will-

"Harrington?"

"Fuck." He hisses, squinting up at- "Munson?"

"What the fuck happened to you?" He says, eyes widenning when he finally gets a look at his face. "Second round with Hargrove, or what?"

"Nothing happened, I'm fine."

Munson eyes him for a moment, frowning. "Is someone after you?"

"What do you care?" Steve heaves a deep breath, forcing himself to stand up straight. He brings his knees up in a few knee highs, gearing up for another sprint.

"Ugh. Just- you can come into my trailer," Munson says, sounding as though Steve is forcing him to make the suggestion. "No one would think to look for you there. You can, like... I don't know. Drink some water? You jocks do that, right?"

"Wh- I don't need your help!"

"I'm not waiting for you all day, come on, let's go!" He makes a wide, exaggerated gesture for Steve to follow.

"You just assume I'm gonna follow?"

"Yeah."

He sounds so confident, so sure, that Steve can't think to do anything other thank blink and say, "fuck it, yeah, alright."

Steve is a little surprised at how much space Eddies trailer has. It's cramped, but in a nice way- the way a home gets when people actually live in it. When the people inside are actually happy and chase those joys.

Munson does get him a glass of water, mumbling at him to "sit anywhere", before flopping onto the sofa himself. He turns the TV on, focusing on that.

"Thanks," Steve eventually mutters, awkwardly sitting down.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Nothing to talk about."

"Sure."

"There isn't," he insists, despite how casual and accepting Munson is acting. "It's my fault, anyway. I deserved it."

"Did you?" Munson turns to him, eyebrow raised. "All us freaks and losers can talk about these days is your change of heart. King of Hawkins High turned lame boytoy."

"Thanks, that makes me feel so much better," Steve sneers.

"Even Jeff thinks you're alright now," he barrels on. "Said he bumped into you, pretty hard, knocked all your shit down, and you apologized. Said his coffee ended up on an essay, or something. Thought he was about to get his ass kicked and you just..."

He waves his hand at him, as though that's explination enough.

Steve doesn't know a Jeff, but he's pretty sure he knows who Munson is talking about, and; "I wasn't looking where I was going. If anything, we were both at fault."

"See?" Munson waves his hand at him again, a little more pointed. "Don't doubt you've got a long way to go, but you're not half-bad. You didn't deserve whatever the fuck happened to your face."

"Whatever."

They fall quiet, both pretending to watch whatever is on the TV. Steve is so zoned out that, when someone clears their throat, he flinchs.

"Sorry to startle you boys," the man chuckles. But the humor quickly teeters out, once he gets a good look at Steve. "You alright, kid?"

"I'm fine."

"He's not," Munson grins wide when Steve glares at him.

"Staying the night?" The man continues, only looking at Eddie now.

"If I can convince him," Munson shrugs.

"I can't stay the night," Steve tries.

"Good," the man nods, as though Steve hadn't said anything. "I'll start making us all some dinner." He finally looks to Steve. "You got any allergies?"

"I can't stay," Steve tries again, insisting.

"No," Munson answers for him. "No problems with meat either."

The man gives Munson a thumbs up, heading through to the kitchen.

"I can't stay," Steve repeats, turning to Munson. "Really. I have to go back or... I have to go back."

"What will happen if you don't go back?"

Steve grimaces. "Nothing. Just- I can't stay here."

"Why not? They gonna hit me too?"

"You know what, Munson? Yeah, probably. And your- your dad?"

"Uncle," Munson snorts, standing, stretching. "No one messes with us though. We're too scary." He wiggles his fingers in Steves face as he passes by. "And call me Eddie."

"Why?"

"It's my name."

Steve awkwardly follows him to the kitchen, hovering a good distance from the two of them, watch how they move around each other with so much comfort and ease. It makes something in Steves chest ache.

"Oh, hey, you like football right?" Eddie asks, pointing to him.

"Uh, yeah, kinda. Not enough to have, like, a team." Steve shrugs.

Wayne turns around slowly, eyebrows raised. "You don't got a team?"

Talking football with Wayne is so easy that, until he's halfway through the dinner he cooked, Steve doesn't notice how fast the time is going. He can't bring himself to be bothered though. It's too nice.

Plus, Eddie is almost bouncing with joy at how well Steve and Wayne are getting along.

Someone starts banging on the door, loud and aggressive, as they make their way to the kitchen.

"Alright!" Wayne calls, rolling his eyes. "Hold your horses."

Steves stomach drops when the door opens and his father is on the other side. He smiles at Steve, sickly sweet and dangerously calm.

"Oh, thank God," he sighs. "Steve, your mother and I have been looking all over for you. When you didn't get home-"

Wayne blocks his way when he tries to step inside. "Who are you?"

"Robert Harrington," Steves dad sniffs, leaning back so he can physically look down at Wayne. "I'm here for my son."

"He ain't here."

Robert Harrington splutters, face tinting red with anger and frustration. He points to Steve, voice raising as he says, "he's right there! And he's coming with me."

Wayne turns, slow and casual. "Huh. That's odd. Don't see him."

"Steve," he snaps his fingers at Steve, like he's a dog. "Come on. We're going home."

Eddie shifts so he's standing slightly in front of him.

It's enough reassurance for him to finally snap back; "I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Steven-"

"Get off my property," Wayne snaps.

His father glares at them, waiting, as though he expects them to back down. When he doesn't, he snarls; "this is kidnapping."

"He's 18," Eddie drawls.

Grumbling, he stomps off.

"Asshole," Wayne mutters. He shuts and locks the door, sliding on the chain too.

Steve has to sit down, with how much his legs are shaking.

"You alright?" Eddie asks, hesitantly sitting beside him.

"Yeah," Steve says. He's surprised to find he means it. "Yeah, I'm good."

"You can stay here, long as you need," Wayne offers. "You'll have to bunk with Eds though. Not a lot of room."

"Why can't he use the sofa when you're-"

"Nope," Wayne cuts him off. There's a glint of mischief in his eyes that has Steve squinting in suspicion. "And you'll need those cuts looking at. Eddie, why don't you go with him. Medkits in the bathroom."

Steve goes ahead when Eddie points the way to the bathroom.

Eddie tries to give Wayne a warning look but he's unbothered and, with Steves back turned, he gives Eddie an encouraging wink.

Wait a moment! I literally have written something similar! Wait a second- *pulls out the first escene of his own self-indulgent/never published fic*

—

He is standing in there, between the trees– not too far away from his house, not too close to it either– letting the cool breeze of autumn brush through his locks of hair and the orange leaves crunch under his feet.

The boy meets the gaze of the other's one, red rimmed and holding unshed tears in those doe eyes of his, with a buzzcut that didn't help in the cooler days of the year.

The other has stopped kicking the rocks and sticks like if they had personally offended him, now trying hard to wipe away the tears that don't fall. The breeze caresses his cheeks and the sticks break under his feet.

The boy looks around before becoming closer to the other. “Are you lost?” He asks, leaving a bit of distance just in case.

“No, I know how to go back,” the other responds, not meeting the boy's eyes. Ashamed, angry, nervous, the boy doesn’t know.

“Then you know how to go where you want to?” The boy asks instead now, he hasn't seen the other before, he is sure of it.

Tommy likes to make fun of people and the other looks like someone Tommy would make fun of. The boy doesn’t like Tommy but for some reason he always ended up being followed by him. He thinks it’s because of his last name.

(The boy doesn’t like his last name either).

“I-” the other stutters before finally meeting the boy's eyes. Doe eyes looking into hazel ones. “I don’t really know where I want to go.”

The boy nods. “You aren't from Hawkins,” he says, a statement.

“No, I’m not.” The other confirms. “I just moved here. I was just looking around.”

“There’s nothing much to look around,”

They looked at each other for a moment. A pause and a breath. The boy didn't know the other and the other didn't know the boy. And still they were with their eyes locked in each other like old friends.

The boy finally decided. “I could show you around if you like.”

Pause. “Why would you do that?”

The boy shrugs. “I just want to help.”

The other bit his lip before nodding. “Okay, I would like that.”

The boy grinned, bright and childlike. “I'm Steve, by the way.”

The other smiled back, erasing all the anguish from before. “And I'm Eddie, at your service.” he bowed.

The boy laughed while trying to bow back and the other watched with an amused grin.

That day, after running around in town, laughter, and an invitation to visit the Munson's in the future.

The boy became Steve and the other became Eddie.

—

I also see them around the same age (8-9)

Steve and Eddie childhood friends is my kryptonite.

They meet in the woods outside Steve's house when they're eight and nine years old. Steve is out exploring because his parents are fighting again, something about a secretary and a jazzercize instructor that Steve really doesn't understand or want to listen to. He's done it before, venturing outside to explore the forest like it's his own private world. They never notice when they're fighting like that anyway and Steve always finds his way back.

Eddie, on the other hand, is new to Hawkins. He's nine years old and was just dumped on his uncle's front porch because his dad "doesn't need some brat who cries when the wires spark." Eddie was heartbroken and mad and scared and he loved his uncle Wayne but he didn't want to be comforted so he ran into the woods, Wayne too slow to catch him but calling his name.

After running a while Eddie trips on a root falling on his hands and knees, blood slowly blooming from his palms. He looks up and realizes he has no idea which way he came from or how to get back and releases all the tears he kept locked up tight since that night with the car.

That's how Steve finds him. He makes his way over, calling softly to the boy crouched by his favorite tree. The boy looks up, and the first thing Steve thinks is that he looks a little funny. His head is shaved down and his eyes are a little buggy and he's lanky in a way Steve's never really seen before. His second thought is that he always keeps bandaids in his shorts.

Together they sloppily patch up Eddie's knee and left palm, Steve pressing a smacking kiss to the other boy's knee like he's seen the other moms do for their kids at the park. They introduce themselves and Steve takes him to all his favorite places in the woods. They play knight and dragon and talk about how mean dads are until the sun starts to set.

Eddie gets nervous when the sun starts to set, not used to the unique darkness of the woods, but Steve is used to it. He takes Eddie by the hand and asks him where he entered and guides him home. Wayne finds them like that, he's clearly been doing his own forest wanderings in his search for Eddie and is quick to sweep his nephew into his arms and hold him close. Edde excitedly introduces his uncle to his "new best friend, Steve," his mood lifted significantly since that morning.

Steve waves goodbye and slips away before Wayne can insist on taking him home in the truck, but that's far from the last they see of Steve. After that night, every time Steve's parents get in a fight or his parents go to one of their long, important business dinners without him he makes his way through the woods and to the Munson trailer. The first time it happens Wayne doesn't even know what to say. Steve looks every bit the little Harrington that he is with his little Khakis and perfectly pressed polo knocking on the trailer door all proper-like.

"Hello, I'm here to see Eddie. He's my best friend."

Before Wayne can figure out what to say there's a blur of oversized black hand-me-down clothes barrelling through the door and tackling the younger boy to the ground.

"STEVE!" Eddie absolutely screeches. Wayne is half worried he might take out one of the kid's eardrums, but seeing the wide smile Eddie has plastered on his face, Wayne decides not to say anything.

From there on Steve and Eddie are thick as thieves. Steve spends all his free time at the Munson trailer playing with Eddie and the stray animals. Despite some of Wayne's concerns, their friendship remains strong through the years. With Eddie in the grade above and the grades almost completely separated, they hardly get to interact at school, which only serves to fuel Eddie's disdain and Steve's disinterest in school. Middle school is much the same. They spend almost every waking moment together in the woods or in the trailer but live almost separate lives at school. It's not even that they're trying to hide it, it just never comes up.

When Steve starts climbing up the social ladder it isn't intentional at all. He doesn't have a lot of friends in his grade, certainly not any that come close to Eddie's status in his life, so he kind of just talks to everybody. He plays on the middle school basketball and baseball teams and does well, and before he knows it people are suddenly flocking around him and vying for his attention. He doesn't pay it much mind honestly.

Eddie on the other hand never fits in anywhere. Steve and Wayne are just about the only people in his life he cares about, and despite their overwhelming love and acceptance he can't help but turn out cynical. He struggles with anger management those first few years with Wayne, frustrated with being abandoned by his dad and separated from Steve and it all culminates in him being ostracized from his peers.

It isn't until high school that the rest of Hawkins clues into what's been in front of their faces the entire time. The high school is much less separated so while they won't be sharing any classes, there are many more opportunities for them to hang out.

On day one of Steve's freshman year he's already on the roster for both the basketball team and the swim team and there's already a small group of boys hanging around his locker ready to ride his coattails. They notice Steve seems distracted, turning his head back and forth when he's not struggling to get the lock undone. When he finally manages to wrestle the thing open, Eddie makes his move.

In a move reminiscent of that first day on Wayne's front porch, a blur of black second-hand clothes and dark curls barrels into Steve from the side taking him down to the linoleum floors. The guys around Steve's locker are ready to step in and beat this guy to a pulp until they hear raucous laughter coming from the both of them. They are treated to the sight of rising King Steve and established Freak Munson rolling around on the floor like unruly puppies and don't know what to do with themselves.

When the boys calm down and stand up, arms slung comfortably around each other's shoulders, they're met with the very confused faces of Steve's kind-of-friends.

"You know this guy Steve?"

"You and Munson are friends?"

"What the fuck was that?"

Steve and Eddie share a very confused look, neither of them having realized that people have no idea they're friends. They look back at the guys with two devastating "are you dumb" faces and say:

"Uh, yeah, Duh."

--------

Years down the line, after queer awakenings, a healthy dose of heartache for them both, and a properly dramatic star-lit confession Eddie and Steve both absolutely love regaling anyone who will listen with their love story. Steve insists that he knew from the moment Eddie looked at him with those big bug eyes that he would love Eddie Munson for the rest of his life. Eddie, on the other hand, insists that's bullshit and instead insists that he was the one who fell first "it doesn't count if you were a child Sevie you didn't understand what love was!" that day in the hall when he realized how tall and handsome his best friends has become when they got up off the floor.

Either way, they both eat up the looks people give them as they share their tales of pining, self-discovery, and true love.

Hi, I'm obsessed with the Eddie Munson Tiktok Saga. I don't know if you ever specifically said what kind of dog Ozzy is, but in my mind I always picture him as a corgi because they give epic side-eye, which I suspect is a necessary skill for Steve's dog.

I’ve always kept Ozzy’s breed vague so he can be whatever dog you’re thinking of.

The only comment I think I’ve ever made that would limit what Ozzy would look like is that Steve didn’t initially want a dog because a dark creature on all fours out of the corner of your eye could look a lot like a demo-dog.

So, Oz is probably a lighter-colored dog but I still say whatever dog you have in mind is Ozzy.

Though I do know a Corgi irl and I can see Steve doing something reckless and Ozzy looking at him like:

I'm Your Guy pt 2

part 1, you are here

It’s not very common for the whole party to come together for a meeting that has nothing to do with the end of the world.  Therefore, there are procedures for this kind of thing, Mike has followed every one of them to a tee to bring everyone together.  

So, honestly, it's kinda insulting that nobody's taking it seriously.  

“Mike, buddy” Dustin starts and Mike narrows his eyes, “look, I get where you're coming from–actually no I don’t.”  

If Mike had not been desperately trying to keep his cool for the past hour this would probably be when he starts screaming.  

“And I don’t get what you guys are confused about! We have to keep Eddie away from Steve!” 

“Why?” El pipes up “Eddie and Steve are friends?”  

Mike tries to keep his shoulders from raising around his head. He knows they’re friends, and Steve is allowed to have other friends, but Eddie is a threat. If they stay friends Eddie will drive a wedge between Steve and the party. If that happens that will hurt Mike’s friends; but it's not just them he’s worried about.  

“Look I’ve seen it happen with Nancy” Mike argues “you guys remember how she stopped hanging out with us. She hated babysitting duty” heavy air quotes “and then she was all alone when the friends she left us for left her”  

Mike can see the reluctant agreement on the others faces as he plops onto the couch and crosses his arms.  

“I” he sighs “I just don't want that to happen to Steve”  

“Oh Please!” Max cuts in, huffing in annoyance “sure it could go bad, but it's not like we’re actually gonna get replaced”  

Mike’s about to retaliate when they hear as Steve enters the house and greets Mrs. Wheeler and Holly.  

“Oh, Eddie by the way,” Steve calls, apparently continuing a conversation with the older teen “what movie where you talking about earlier?”  

“Halloween? You want to watch it?” Eddie replies 

There is a kerfuffle of something being set on the counter “Yeah sure, If I leave the twerps sleepover early then I can pick up some snacks.”  

The two boys keep planning but nobody in the basement is listening anymore.  

“okay” Max turns back to look at Mike “how do we get rid of this guy?” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sorry this part is kind of short, I'm not really happy with it but its the best I could do under the circumstances.

Things are getting better now because I don't have to worry about my apartment anymore, so hopefully, the next update will be longer and better written.

when the world stops turning (my heart stops beating) - pt. 4

hello yes i know it's been a while. this part has been a pain in my ass for months. i needed to get it just right and rewrote this thing so many times it's not even funny. and now, after editing it five times over the last two days, i'm just posting it. what's done is done. if i came back to it again i would have rewritten and i don't wanna do that. so here it is at least. there is also going to be at least one more part. i'm shooting for two more hopefully but i make no promises. the next part could very well be the last. i hope you enjoy :)

ao3 pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4

cw: hospitals, dissociation, mentions of overdose, addiction, sobriety, and relapse

Eddie couldn’t move. His body was fighting against every instinct he should have in the moment. Someone could throw something directly at his head, and he wouldn’t react. The buzzing voices around him faded in and out as he stared at a chip in the wood of the table in front of him.

One of Steve’s doctors had finally come to speak with them. They couldn’t say anything for certain at the moment, but he was alive, and that’s all Eddie heard before his head went fuzzy again. His mind was still reeling, caught on the fact that he should have seen this. He should have noticed. He should have been able to help Steve. He failed the only person who’d ever loved him like that, the only one who ever would love Eddie like that. Because Steve was it for him. He’d always known that. No one else would even come close. No one could ever compare to Steve Harrington.

Not only had he failed Steve, but he’d failed Robin too. He was supposed to keep Steve safe. Robin couldn’t lose her best friend; Eddie knew that. He’d promised to take care of him. He couldn’t even do that one thing right. God, what was he going to tell Robin?

They didn’t want Steve to have visitors yet. Eddie managed to gather that much at least. It was still touch and go. He wasn’t awake. They weren’t sure if he ever would be. They’re flushing his system, but it’s really just a game of wait and see. They might be able to see him in the morning, but the doctor wasn’t making any promises. It all depended on how the rest of the night went. If he made it through. They couldn’t say anything else for certain. There had been a lot of drugs in his system. He’d been deprived of oxygen for a long time. There was no way to be sure what would happen next. That was all up to Steve now.

Eddie sat there in that uncomfortable waiting room chair for hours. He didn’t move. He didn’t eat or drink. He didn’t even get up to go to the bathroom. He just sat there, staring at the same chip in the wooden table. His friends all tried their best to get through to him. They tried to coax him into eating or drinking something, but their efforts were unsuccessful. No one could get through to him, and he preferred it that way. He deserved to sit in his own silence, letting his brain run reckless and spiral to the depths of his fears and anxiety. He had failed.

He noticed that the more time seemed to pass, the antsier his bandmates got. Though, he couldn’t be exactly sure that’s what was happening. Time escaped him.

Time was such a funny thing, wasn’t it? It can feel like it speeds up, slows down, or stops entirely, but it never changes. It’s always the same. It’s all in the imagination. Eddie was never that good at telling time as a child. Even as he grew older, he found it difficult to keep track. As he sat in that hospital, his entire life on the brink of falling apart at the seams, time was nowhere to be found. Nothing made sense. He just sat silently, staring. People moved around him, time passed, but Eddie didn’t move. He was trapped. His body was at the hospital, but his mind kept bouncing around. From his mom, to Wayne, to Steve on the bathroom floor. An endless cycle. Eddie was hanging on by a single thread: the only thread of life left in Steve.

Eddie would never survive if Steve didn’t make it out alive.

Eddie was aware that a long time had passed only by the ache in his joints and the dryness of his mouth. He also sort of needed to pee, but that wasn’t important. At least, not important enough to warrant getting up. He couldn't move. He needed to stay right in that spot. Nothing was more important than that.

“Come on, Ed,” Wayne’s gruff voice said from somewhere behind him. Eddie stayed rooted to the spot. “It’s time to go, kid. We’ve gotta get to the reception.”

Eddie stood silently, staring straight ahead at the marble headstone. His mother’s name was engraved with curly letters. Eddie hadn’t known that was possible. There were piles of flowers that he knew wouldn’t be there next week. He didn’t speak. His feet were glued to the soft ground beneath him. His suit was itchy and his worn dress shoes were a size too small. The tie around his neck was suffocating. He couldn’t breathe.

He broke down right there, tears rolling down his cheeks and gasping sobs bursting from his chest. He sank down to the ground at the foot of his mother’s fresh grave, clawing at the stupid red tie that his mother had bought him two years prior and the collar of his white dress shirt. Wayne sighed softly and sat down beside him, gently pulling his hands away and shushing Eddie as he loosened the tie. He let him collapse against his chest, tie almost completely off and the first two buttons of his shirt undone. Wayne held him through each wracking sob and stuttering breath, murmuring comfort until he’d gotten it all out.

“I couldn’t do it, Uncle Wayne,” Eddie whispered hoarsely. “Why couldn’t I do it?”

“Do what, Ed?”

“Save her.”

Why couldn't he do it?

“Eddie, seriously, you need to eat something,” Jeff said, holding out a bag of chips from the vending machine. Eddie stared blankly at the bag, seeing but not really. He heard the words coming from Jeff’s mouth, but his body refused to respond. He couldn’t quite fully process what he was saying. It slipped out of his head before he got the chance, replaced with his mother’s voice, or Steve promising he was fine. He was fine. There was nothing wrong. It was just weed. Nothing more. He was fine.

He lied.

What else had Steve lied about? What else was he keeping from Eddie? Every time Steve came home late, claiming some generic excuse about work or traffic or whatever else it may have been, how often had those been lies? What had he been doing instead? Getting high? Shooting up in a parking garage somewhere? Was he ever with someone else? Someone who wasn’t Eddie?

Steve would never cheat. Eddie had to remind himself of that over and over again. Repeat it on a loop in his head. Anything to get it to stay there.

He would not cheat. He would not cheat. He would not cheat.

But he would lie.

Eddie has never been insecure about their relationship before. He loved Steve more than anything. He always knew Steve felt the same. Steve loved him. No questions asked. Eddie knew. He didn't need to be told that Steve loved him. It was just obvious. Now, though, Eddie was second guessing everything. Why would he lie? If Steve could lie so easily about something like this, what else had he lied about? Had their whole relationship been a lie? Has Steve ever told him the truth about anything?

His brain swirled with more thoughts, more insecurities. He stared at the chip in the table as he spiraled. His fingers and toes were tingling. This couldn’t be real. It had to be a dream, a nightmare. Any minute now, he was going to wake up. Everything would be fine. It was just one big nightmare. He would be laying in bed next to Steve, who would be snoring softly. He would roll over and tuck his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. He could hold him tight, bury his nose in the back of Steve’s neck and breathe in the scent of his shampoo. He could fall back into a peaceful sleep with Steve in his arms, safe and sound.

Except he wasn't waking up. No matter how much he tried, no matter how hard he willed his eyes to open, it didn't happen. He was trapped. There was no escape. Steve wasn't there. He may never be there again. This was all Eddie’s fault. If only he’d noticed. If only he cared enough. None of it was enough. Eddie wasn’t enough. He never should have expected to be enough for Steve. Steve deserved better.

Eddie never should have asked him to come on tour with them.

If Eddie hadn’t asked him to go, this never would have happened. Steve would be at home, in their apartment with Robin, probably sleeping in her room every night. He hated sleeping alone. He’d be sitting on the couch, wrapped up in one of Eddie’s hoodies and the threadbare blue blanket they took from the trailer when they moved, watching movies with Robin and a bowl of popcorn. He wouldn’t be dying in a hospital in New York. He’d be happy and safe. Eddie would miss him like hell, but at least he would be safe.

The sun was shining, blindingly bright, through the tall windows on the far wall of the waiting room when the doctor finally came back. Eddie’s knee had taken to bouncing anxiously a while ago, maybe an hour, maybe more. He can’t be sure. His brain had mostly come back online, but he still felt a little foggy. Untethered. His world was unbalanced. His ears were still ringing even as the doctor started talking. He barely heard a single word. Snippets of information filtered through the fog. Stable. Made it through the night. Up to Steve now. ICU. Visitors. The next thing he knows, Jeff is leading him through the halls with the doctor. It’s just the three of them. Other doctors and nurses bustled around them.

They finally crossed the double doors into the ICU. Eddie’s heart pounded as the doctor led them over to one of the sliding doors. She opened it, and Eddie couldn't move. He could hear the machines inside, see the edge of the hospital bed. If he turned his head a little, he knew he would see Steve. The doctor walked in and picked up the chart at the foot of the bed. She flipped it open and clicked her pen, writing things down and glancing at monitors.

“Eddie, why don't we go inside?” Jeff suggested softly, his hand on Eddie’s arm. “Steve needs you right now.”

Eddie's feet moved of their own accord, taking slow steps into the room. Jeff followed behind him, closing the door once they were both in the room. He carefully led Eddie over to the chair, giving him a light push on the shoulder to sit him down. As soon as he was close enough, Eddie grabbed Steve’s hand. An instinct he would probably always have. It didn't matter what was going on in his brain. If Steve’s hand was there, Eddie was holding it.

“Is he okay?” the doctor asked gently, nodding to Eddie.

Jeff sighed. “I hope so. This is all really hard on him.”

“How long have they been together?”

Jeff looked up, a little startled. It may have been New York, and queer relationships were a little more accepted than they were just a few years ago, but Steve and Eddie had always been careful. Cautious. They all had. But she was quick to respond before Jeff could even think to redirect.

“It’s okay, really. I know what love looks like. I would look at my partner the same way if something like this ever happened to her.”

“Oh.” Jeff glanced at Eddie, who had his eyes glued to Steve’s hand in his. “Um… it’s been almost eight years now. They’ve been through a lot together.”

She closed the chart and put it back at the end of the bed. She nodded a few times, watching the machines that beeped rhythmically. “I’m going to hold on to hope,” she said softly. “For them. For everyone like us. I can’t say anything for certain; this is all up to Steve. We’re doing everything we can. But I’m holding on to hope.”

“I guess that’s all any of us can do now, isn’t it?”

“I think so.” She cleared her throat and took a step back from the bed, turning to Jeff. “I have other patients to round on, but I’ll be back to check up on everything in a couple of hours. If you guys need anything, just let one of the nurses know.”

“Thank you.”

Silence fell through the room as the doctor left. Jeff took the chair in the corner, letting Eddie have whatever time he needed. He was mostly there for Eddie’s sake; someone had to make sure he would be okay until Wayne got there. Truthfully, they were all out of their depths here. No one really understood what was happening in Eddie’s brain. Not even close to the way Wayne would.

They sat there in total silence for a long time. It's unclear to Eddie just how long, but long enough that Jeff had gotten up four times. Once to get food, once for the bathroom, and twice to hit vending machines and coffee. Not that Eddie accepted anything Jeff offered him. His body still felt wildly disconnected from his brain. His limbs were heavy. He also knows it's been long enough that nurses have come in to check on Steve eight times, and his doctor has been back once. It seems the only thing Eddie’s mind can keep track of is how many times someone has entered or exited Steve’s room in the ICU.

Jeff gets up for a fifth time. Another bathroom break, from the few words Eddie managed to retain. The door slid shut behind him, and Eddie was alone again. He squeezed Steve’s hand three times, desperate for any sign that he's still there. That he's fighting for Eddie. Nothing happens. The machines beep. His chest rises and falls rhythmically with the calculated breaths of the ventilator. Steve’s eyes shift beneath his eyelids, but they don't open. They won't open. The door slid open again, and Eddie assumed Jeff was back, though it seemed like he wasn't gone very long. And then he hears it.

“Oh, God.”

Eddie’s head shot up at the sound of Robin’s shaky voice behind him. She looked wrecked. Her face was blotchy, her eyes puffy and red. There were tear tracks down her cheeks. Wayne was standing beside her, looking somber. He watched her take a rattled breath, crossing the room slowly. Her eyes don't leave Steve. Wayne followed a few moments later, coming to stand behind Eddie and put a hand on his shoulder. Eddie wanted to break. As if he hadn't been slowly breaking this whole time.

“They- they said it was an overdose?” Robin asked softly, her voice cracking at the end. Eddie merely nodded, still trying to find his voice. “What- what happened, Eddie? Was it- was he drugged? How- how did this- did he relapse?”

“Relapse?” Eddie croaked, his voice hoarse from disuse. That didn't make any sense. For Steve to relapse, he would have to be…. “He- he was clean?”

Robin frowned, and her gaze finally found Eddie. “What do you mean he was clean? He's been clean since ‘85, Eddie. I- I helped him, after Starcourt.”

All the air left Eddie’s lungs in an instant. This was all his fault. Steve was- he was clean. Sober. And Eddie ruined that. He gave Steve weed. He brought him on tour. He took him to parties full of temptation. He killed Steve.

“This is all my fault,” he whispered.

“Eddie, you have to tell me what's going on,” Robin begged. “When did he relapse? Why didn't he call me? He promised he would talk to me if he wanted to get high again.”

“I- Oh, God. I didn't know. He- he didn't tell me.” Eddie couldn't breathe. His heart squeezed in his chest, and his lungs pushed the air from his body until there was nothing left. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't get it back. He was already hyperventilating. “This is all my fault. Oh my god, it's all my fault.” He was distantly aware of the tears rolling down his cheeks again.

Wayne stepped between Eddie and Robin, crouching down to look up into his nephew's face. His hands were solid against Eddie’s skin, just like they always were. “Ed, you need to talk to me. Take a breath, kid. I'm right here, but you have to tell me what's going on.”

Eddie’s breath stuttered halfway through his chest. “I didn't know, Wayne.”

“What didn't you know, Eddie?”

“I didn't- I didn't know he was sober. I- I thought I- I was just trying to help. I- I gave him weed. I did this.”

Robin’s expression hardened. “You did this to him?”

“I'm so sorry,” Eddie choked out between sobs. “I didn't- I didn't know. I was just trying to help. And- and then he- I knew he wasn't telling me something, but- but he promised it was just weed.”

“Get out.” Robin’s voice was firm, but he could hear the trembling fear behind it.

“What? I-”

“Get out. Get out, right now. You did this, Eddie. He was doing so good until he met you! And now he's dying! So get the hell out, before I make you!"

It was at this moment that the door opened for Jeff’s return. He paused just inside the doorway. Wayne stood up, facing Robin.

“Now, Robin, I think-”

“I don't care!” Robin’s hands were shaking. “This is his fault! I want him out, right now! Or I swear to God, Wayne, I'm going to kill him.”

Wayne glanced back at Jeff, who was the perfect picture of confusion. “Jeff, take Eddie into the hall.”

“What-”

“Don't ask questions right now,” Wayne said sternly with a shake of his head. “Just take him to the hall. I'll be out in a moment.”

As soon as the door shut behind them, and Jeff had led Eddie a little ways from the room, he finally snapped. His knees gave out from underneath him, and Jeff was the only thing holding him up as he sobbed.

This was all his fault. He killed Steve.

First his mom, now the love of his life. It was all his fault.

-----

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