I Wish I Was Beautiful Or That I Wasn’t Sick . I’ll Never Have A Lover Because I’m Not Pretty Enough

literally nothing worse than when someone hits you up in the DMs and it’s just a man running an entire porn blog 😑 get out of my HOUSE!!! fuck off

My fellow americans, I have decided to drop out of the democratic race. I haven’t shared this beyond my close family — Treasured Jill and Lovely Hunter — but I also wanted to take this moment to announce that my pronouns are he/they/she. I am still a catholic. I am also a democrat. I am also dying, and as I felt my soul pulling from my body and towards the Infinite and Heavenly Pools Of Tranquil Waterfalls And Citrus Compassion (my new property on the amalfi coast where I will be retiring) my mind coruscated into a kaleidoscopic fractal, my ego frayed apart like a well-wrought rope tied around the twinkling stars I will soon be consumed by, and I came to know the glittering multitudes dormant, and rustling, within me. It has been the greatest honor serving as your president and to share this final chapter of my self with you, along with this first chapter of my becoming. Im sorry that the Nasty Courts stripped you of the student loan forgiveness you deserved… We all deserve forgiveness one day. And Im sorry about the economy, but it’s not my fault. I have started seeing a therapist to work through the toxic shame I carry on behalf of this nation and its relationship to my avoidant-fearful attachment style. As for the election, although such matters seem small and insignificant now that I have glimpsed the vast and sparkling universe that presses against the silk stitches of my cursed soul, I must attend to these matters while my days on this sick and gorgeous earth persist, even as they come to an end… I will be nominating Beautiful Kamala to take my place in the race. Vote blue… And vote for her💙

With love and grace, joe biden 💖🍋🪽

I’m so used to everyone across the leftist political spectrum online shitting on veganism constantly that I keep being genuinely shocked when I go to irl leftist gatherings and I am far from the only vegan person there. People incorporating veganism into their anarchist theory, their abolitionist theory, their feminist theory.. It’s like oh yeah, the weird internet poison is not everywhere.

middle-class american who subsists primarily on factory farmed beef fed slaughtered by semi-slave immigrant workers on sub-minimum wage and which were raised on soy produced in clear-cut areas of the amazon rainforest which until last year belonged to an uncontacted tribe who have all been murdered by the enforcers of the logging company: well what about inuit people who eat whales huh? checkmate vegans

i bet on crazy frogs

freaks in my DMs…. 😑

Exterior, Hillary Clinton’s doorstep, 3AM

Kamala Harris, looking her version of disheveled and unhinged (which is to say she’s still in the same immaculate suit from her speech earlier in the day but she’s lost her high heels, has exactly five hairs out of place, and there is a discreet smear of Dorito dust on her fingertips): I’m sorry, I just didn’t know where else to go.

Hillary, in a cozy bathrobe, but perfectly made up and coiffed: Honey, I’ve been waiting for you to show up since they called Pennsylvania. (Hands Kamala a margarita and ushers her inside.)

can you imagine you go to a fancy italian restaurant and before you go through the doors the doorman stops you and is like Signore Per Fevore, I Simply Must Remove Your Jacket Before You Enter and youre like well if you must, its getting a little shabby anyways and he says It Is My Pleasure Signore and then he smashes you over the head and cuts you up into little pieces for your flavour and aroma. such is the life of the humble garlic