Thinking About Girls In Vaguely Homosexual Friendships

I forget how much I love performing

16 apr 2024

Jamie opened tonight!! it was insane, that buzz that feeling you get inside I forget how real it is, like electricity is in the air and everyone’s joy is palpable. I’ll really miss this. This community, everyone is friends, I’ll talk to the people I wouldn’t normally talk to and you stay on stage left cramped in with everyone and it feels so real.

Anyways,

Ugh I hate thinking this way

21 mar 2024

I refuse to say it out loud and put it into the world but I know what I’m talking about.

WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IM GAY? REALLY WHAT ABOUT ME RADIATES RAINBOWS? Nothing against gay people just I’m not and it means the boys I like will never see me the way they see my friends because maybe I’ll be affectionate with my friends and maybe I don’t dress like the walking talking stereotype of a teenage girl but god is it so hard to get a boy to even see me? To look at me like I’m not empty space?

Anyways,

I refuse to let them think I’m stupid

8 mar 2024

Alex and Adam aren’t allowed to see me failing at chemistry. They can’t see me fail and mess up. I won’t let them think I’m dumb.

Also Adam has started only asking Alex about his answers to see if he’s right so I hate myself even more and really just crave the warm embrace of a grade 9

Anyways,

jack of all trades, master of none

28th dec 2023

yk how much better my life would be if i was really really good at one thing, im pretty mediocre at a lot of things but if i was really really good at one thing i think my quality of life would skyrocket.

also im not even like medium good at the things im good at, yeah im alright and i like them but what good is liking something when your 60% shitty at it and all you do all day is long for natural talent when thats never gonna come. i love writing but im not very good at it, i wish i could act, if i could swim my life would be great, hell if i was a long distance runner i would be happy. i just want do be good at something that isnt just feeling emotions very deeply and longing for something tangible. all my grades arent bad but arent good, im not a great friend, im not even that good of a person. i like things and have passion but no grit or determination because really if i didnt pick a career at 5 i think id spend the rest of my life starving in the crotch of a fig tree, wishing for some voice to tell me or for my heart to tell me but i dont even know what to do with my life past uni and thats if i scrape up good enough grades. i wish i didnt spend all my time laying there pretending that im someone im not.

anyways

any wildest fantasies?

being loved or something

LOVE ME PLEASE

10 mar 2024

WILL SOMEONE TRACE ALONG MY JAW ACROSS MY LIPS UP MY NOSE AND AROUND MY EYE WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TRACE FROM MY EAR ALONG MY COLLARBONE TO THE DIP BETWEEN THEM AND FEEL MY HEART BEAT LIKE THEY NEED TO COMMIT IT TO MEMORY LIKE THEYRE BEING TESTED ON THE BPM OF MY HEART AND THE TEXTURE OF MY SKIN LIKE THEY NEED TO SCULPT ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT AND OUTSIDE IN AGAIN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Anyways,

i get it dude

18th feb 2024

voltron ending suckeddd man like sucked dick and balls it was so bad. it was JUST the last episode that was bad too like it was a good show until that last episode and it took a nose dive its so crappy.

zero stars do not reccomend i want my money back please and thank you and also i will find you im in your walls benjamin kaltenecker (idk what he does hes just the only guy i see in the credits before i skip to the next episode ((post about not watching credits coming soon ??? idk)) and good choice naming the cow after you like some guy named commander iverson after him but nah just good vibes space cow ((i also love the implication that kaltenecker isnt his name but his breed or species because the shopkeep says get a kaltenecker instead of get a cow)) anyways everyone who said the ending sucked was right but i have alot to say (dude look at my bio what did you expect when you clicked on here)

anyways,

don't forget to wake up sick to your stomach tomorrow

3 dec 2024

She had no idea what she was going to lose. Didn’t even stop to savour it.

Anyways,

I forget how much I love performing

16 apr 2024

Jamie opened tonight!! it was insane, that buzz that feeling you get inside I forget how real it is, like electricity is in the air and everyone’s joy is palpable. I’ll really miss this. This community, everyone is friends, I’ll talk to the people I wouldn’t normally talk to and you stay on stage left cramped in with everyone and it feels so real.

Anyways,

i do think theres something sad about how largely only the literature that's considered especially good or important is intentionally preserved. i want to read stuff that ancient people thought sucked enormous balls