Mothernaturessilverseed-blog - Be Where Your Feet Are

I just watched Pink Flamingos yesterday, and ironically I find Edie genuinely adorable and sweet. I would love to climb into her playpen and give her a lil hug

today I used the phrase "breasting boobily" in casual real life conversation and everyone was shocked asking how I came up with that and I had to explain it. ive been at the devil's sacrament so long that I forgot he wasn't god

This convo reminded me of them

I'm afraid that I've somehow caused my family harm. I'm afraid that the ones I love won't have enough. I'm afraid that the ones I love won't have enough. It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else.

[Verse 1]

I'm afraid of the way that I live my life I'm afraid of the way I don't I'm afraid of the things that I wanna do but I won't

I'm afraid of God I'm afraid to believe And I'm afraid of all the loved ones that I made leave I'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore

I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die And I'm afraid of the mob mentality That makes otherwise normal people go blind I'm afraid of the way the world works And I'm afraid of the words in my notebooks I'm afraid that you all know that I am a pervert

[Chorus 1]

But the Big Red Bird that lives under the city Doesn't give a damn about me And it dies every night By burning alive

[Verse 2]

I'm afraid of my grandfather's cancer And I'm afraid of my mom's dying arm I'm afraid that I've somehow caused my family harm I'm afraid that the ones I love won't have enough I'm afraid that the ones I love won't have enough

[Chorus 2]

It's harder to be yourself Than it is to be anybody else I wish I were a little less of a coward But the Big Red Bird that lives under the city Doesn't give a damn about me And it dies every night So I bought a knife I am a knife I am a Knife Man

Here is how I spend my days now. I live in a beautiful place. I sleep in a beautiful bed. I eat beautiful food. I go for walks through beautiful places. I care for people deeply. At night my bed is full of love, because I alone am in it. I cry easily, from pain and pleasure, and I don't apologize for that. In the mornings I step outside and I'm thankful for another day. It took me many years to arrive at such a life.

— Ottessa Moshfegh, Eileen: A Novel (Penguin, August 18, 2015)

my sense of whimsy trying to keep me alive (audio on)

the cinema of michael haneke + smells like teen spirit 🎬

riches and wonders ass playthrough