“My Heart Is So Tired”

free him

the only two real emotions are the desire to be loved and embarrassment 

my fav bpd thing is never knowing if im rightfully upset about something or if im just a self-absorbed manipulative piece of shit who actually doesn’t deserve to feel anything or be alive in fact

sincerity is genuinely really hard like…….. if i have ever told you anything heartfelt out loud i have had to battle like 7 layers of embarrassment & repression to do that

me after going from giddy to panic attack followed by intense self hatred and self harming to void in the span of a few hours:

*feels deeply but cannot explain*

side effects of being numb due to mental illness:

not crying for weeks and weeks on end until one day, you’re breaking down over something that isn’t actually worth getting upset about

not being able to tell if your feelings for people are platonic or romantic or if you’re just lonely

instead of caring too much, you don’t care at all about anything

not being able to process anything going on in your life and when you try, your brain stalls out

losing your train of thought every five seconds, so when you try to have a conversation, you have to pause and remember what you were trying to say

word vomiting

mind “static”