It Seems So Rare Now (online) To See Goths Wearing Red Lipstick But Back In The Day Goth Girls Who Had

I want to sleep. I've had maybe 3 hours of sleep.

But I also didn't eat enough before bed, and now my stomach hurts and is keeping me awake and in pain.

I'm not craving anything. Nothing I can think of feels like it'll help my stomach settle. I'm just going to lie here in pain until either can't stand it or pass out.

6/6: ACCEPTABLE

i love goths i love goth music i love goth people i love talking to goths about goth music and dressing goth and going to goth shows and goth clubs

“The Milky Way” (La Voie Lactée) (1904) silvered bronze figural lamp by French sculptor Léo Laporte-Blairsy (1865-1923).

Empress Elisabeth’s Mourning Mask, Austria, 1889

The dress and mask was designed by her favourite dressmaker Fanni Scheiner and is an enormous mass of velvet, lace, French jet glass beads and ostrich feathers. She displayed herself as grief personified and never recovered from the death of her son. (more info)

The more I get back into liking, loving and lusting on people, the more I'm reminded what a sanitized, segregated lie queers have been built into.

I've met the sweetest, prettiest queens who tell me "Well, I'm a transsexual. Sometimes I call myself a transman because both my trans self and my manhood are me."

New friends tell me about the sexcapades their closed polycule gets up to that they just watch because they're a kinky ace.

There's staunch lesbians who helped the love of their life transition as a transmasc, gay men begging to be topped by trans men with the fattest tits.

Older queers don't hesitate to shout "oh, like Prince!" when I tell them I'm androgyne. Vanilla questioning men will text me day after day before shyly confessing I'm their dream guy. Closeted trans women ask to kiss me because I'm their dream girl. Doms and subs who melt when they realize I'm both and neither, and they didn't know somebody like me existed.

There's vanilla lesbians on Grindr and acearos who have shown me love deeper than I thought possible and guydykes kissing girlfags and MtFtMtX elders and throuples that have so much affection that they just collectively parent babygays who got disowned.

Everybody is so beautiful! There is so much love! It is no wonder a cruel world has a vested interest in suppressing queerness when humanity is so expansive to us.

the fact that i exist bothers me multiple times a day

Had a fascinating day of acceptance and love at work today.

Was told my "Frida Kahlo *thing*" was really flattering on me, and that I "made it femmine". Her own daughter lasers hers, so seeing me made her feel like her daughter could be loved with her own.

I said her daughter knows what she wants the best. It takes small steps to get this much courage. I already had all accepting love supporting me in this journey, I now do it to honor that love and support.

Someone else brought me such sad, beautiful memorial photos. We had a *Moment* with our Losses. She gave me a hug that filled me with warmth.