~

do i want to do that because i really want to do it, or do i just want to change my life drastically?

That ace/aro feel when you're doing on online quiz and then inevitable Sex/Romance Question™ pops up like whelp guess i'll never know what kind of french cheese i am

tell me something nice

IT IS NOT SELFISH TO FEEL LONELY

RECORD BREAKERS

Life on earth, as magnificent and versatile as it is, is seemingly tame compared to the weird and wonderful creatures that once existed. All categories of life have reached unimaginable sizes, here are just a selection of prehistoric record breakers!

MEGALODON The biggest shark known to have existed, ruling over the oceans as recently as up to a million years ago. A length of almost 20 metres and weighing in at an estimated 48 tonnes, Megalodon could deliver a crucifying bite of up to 110,000N. It is no surprise that the Megalodon was dubbed the “whale killing shark”.

MEGATHERIUM Our early ancestors would have been quite familiar with Megatherium as they existed up to 8000 years ago, they were in fact the largest sloths to have existed. Sloths have a reputation as being lazy, slow and docile, but Megatherium was a 6 metre long, 4 tonne monster with a killer instinct and knife-like claws. Megatherium’s discovery came before that of the dinosaurs. Skeletons of these prehistoric beasts were a delight to the Victorian public and paved the way for the science of palaeontology.

ARCHELON Literally meaning “large turtle”, Archelon certainly was just that. Existing during the cretaceous, the time of the dinosaurs, Archelon could reach 4.5 metres long and may have lived to over 100 years old. Archelon could not compete with other cretaceous beings in speed and agility, but its blade-like beak was able to slice through flesh and crush though the toughest ammonite shells. Unfortunately Archelon appears to have been a popular snack for other marine dwellers, skeletons are frequently missing flippers or heads and covered in slashes.

TITANOBOA When the dinosaurs reign ended, a new era saw the rise of new super-predators, one was Titanoboa, the largest snake ever with a body up to 13 metres long, standing a metre off the ground and weighing up to 2500 pounds. Titanoboa was 30% longer than even todays largest species. Scientists believe this humongous snake hunted like its modern relatives, the boa constrictors, by winding around prey and suffocating them.

IRISH ELK Owner of the largest antlers of any animal, up to 3 metres wide, the Irish Elk gets its name from its frequent discoveries in Irish peat bogs. Existing up to 10,000 years ago, these would have been a common sight in grasslands for our ancestors. Many fossils indicate the animals died of starvation which is why the antlers are thought to have been part of elaborate mating contests between males, often resulting in one being fatally injured and unable to feed itself.

DEINOTHERIUM A distant relative of the elephants and mammoths, Deinotherium was more sinister, its name translates to “terrible beast”, they would have most likely caused trouble for our ancient ancestors around 1.5 million years ago. Deinotherium is actually considered to be the second largest land mammal of all time, behind Paraceratherium and is iconic in appearance due to its sharp, downward facing tusks.

ARCTODUS Known as the short faced bear, they were the biggest bears on record and one of the largest mammal carnivores to have existed. Whilst their skull was short, they were packed with piercing teeth that could deliver a bone crushing bite. Existing up to 11,000 years ago, out ancestors would have stayed well clear of this 900 kilogram predator, with slender limbs and knife-like claws, Arctodus was deadly.

SARCOSUCHUS One of the most infamous fossil discoveries in history, Sarcosuchus was the largest crocodile to walk the Earth up to 112 million years ago, this was a crocodile capable of killing dinosaurs. Sarcosuchus was twice as long as a saltwater crocodile, that’s 11-12 metres long and could reach over 8 tonnes. Its jaw was packed full of 66 teeth either side of its jaw and would have clamped down on prey that wandered too near.

ARGENTINOSAURUS One of the largest lifeforms that has ever stood on the Earth, Argentinosaurus could grow up to 30 metres long with its hind limbs standing 4.5 metres off the ground. They existed between 97-94 million years ago and at adulthood would have been virtually indestructible to predators. Its weight is estimated at a staggering 80-100 tonnes. There hasn’t been another land mammal on the same scale as Argentinosaurus since and it’s unlikely there ever will be.

SPINOSAURUS The largest discovered therapod ever, a group that includes Allosaurus and Tryrannosaurus. Spinosaurus remained an enigma to scientists for decades, the only discovered specimen was sadly destroyed during World War 2 and was not rediscovered until the 21st century. Spinosaurus is thought to have reached up to 16 metres long and weighed in around 12 tonnes, that is almost double the weight of a T-rex!

"friendzoning"? i think we should talk about romancezoning. as someone who's aro, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable if someone says they're romantically interested in me. i guess it could be a little flattering at first, but the idea of, like, my close friends secretly wanting a romantic relationship instead is. not a pleasant thought.

I misread a post observing that a tyrannosaurus is chronologically closer to an iPhone than it is to a stegosaurus as claiming that a tyrannosaurus is taxonomically closer to an iPhone than it is to a stegosaurus, and I swear my first thought was “okay, what have those cladistics weirdos done this time“.

I love the ark fandom because so may people refer to the different creatures as "Dinosaurs" despite them clearly not being dinosaurs. I mean this with no ill will or sarcasm btw, it's a pretty funny thing we do. like

Sir I'd hate to inform you. That is a platypus.

INFP's flaws

INFP's mother: Why can't you remember one single thing we ask you to do? Like watering the plants, rearrange your room? Is it that hard?

INFP: *YES MUM, IT'S HARD BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS THINKING AND BEATING MYSELF UP FOR MY 57348 FLAWS AND TRYING TO FIX THEM BUT AT THE SAME TIME, ALL WHILE EXHAUSTING MYSELF TO ACCOMPLISH MY GOALS AND AT THE SAME TIME HAVE A FUCKING LIFE DESPITE MY LIFE ACTUALLY HAVING TONS OF EVENTS, MY MIND BEING JUST FUCKING ALLERGIC TO PLANS AND SCHEDULES JUST STRESSING ME THE FUCK OUT BY THE SOLE THOUGHT OF THEM, AND PEOPLE JUST DON'T REALISE HOW HARD AND DRAINING IT IS TO HAVE A BRAIN WHERE EVERY BIT OF TIREDNESS, LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND ANXIETY FLY UNSTOPPINGLY BETWEEN A WEB OF DREAMS, PROJECTS AND OVERWHELMING RESPONSIBILITIES TO RESPECT. IT'S SO FUCKING HARD TO THINK ABOUT WATERING THE PLANTS WHEN THERE'S SUCH A HURRICANE WITH A MILLION TABS OPEN RAGING IN YOUR MIND FUCKING ALL DAY.*

INFP: Okay, I made a mistake.

CLADISTICS ruined my life