I, Personally, Have Fallen For BOTH "huh. That Was A Weird Noise..... Let Me Go Check It Out!!" AND "huh.

It's finals season, which means I've blocked shorts on youtube and also the entire instagram explore page using an app that blocks social media for me because I'm irresponsible and addicted to my phone.

Thank god it doesn't see tumblr as a real social media site and therefore doesn't block anything from it, or else I'd have no way to procrastinate my work.

The first time I ever saw a centipede was at my previous job. They like cardboard (apparently) and I was cleaning the shoe area...full of cardboard shoe boxes. I screamed so loudly I nearly gave a poor elderly customer a heart attack and drew my manager out of the back office. Don't think I've fully recovered since.

...does Harrow even know what "death first to vultures and scavengers" means? Or was she just sitting there thinking "well, I have to say something, and I know Griddle's going to make a fool of herself, but I can't just stand by and let the eighth get away with this. I'd better say something fitting of the ninth house."

Like. Do you think she said that, then immediately thought to herself "what the fuck was that?"

Do you think Gideon was laying in bed later that night thinking "what the hell did she say? Was it some obscure ninth saying I never bothered to learn? What the fuck?"

Do you think the other houses were there thinking "what did that strange little nun say? Was it a spell? A curse? Am I cursed now?" Or did some of them think "pfft, why did she say that? Was it a lame attempt at sounding cooler than all of us?"

I dunno, I finally have time to work on some TLT tattoo designs and this has been on my mind the whole time.

"Death first to vultures and scavengers" is such a hard line I wish that there were scenarios where I could use it in my day to day life without eventually having to explain that the quote was said by a scrawny teenaged(?) nun in response to what is essentially a dick measuring contest run by a bunch of idiots who have no business being unsupervised for that long anyways.

some people think writers are so eloquent and good with words, but the reality is that we can sit there with our fingers on the keyboard going, “what’s the word for non-sunlight lighting? Like, fake lighting?” and for ten minutes, all our brain will supply is “unofficial”, and we know that’s not the right word, but it’s the only word we can come up with…until finally it’s like our face got smashed into a brick wall and we remember the word we want is “artificial”.

Me, personally, I think they'd have a sort of begrudging, quiet bond called "I'm surrounded by people who are trying to befriend me and am deeply horrified by that thought"

The TLT brainrot is real because I saw this image:

And immediately thought of making it into a HTN shitpost. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Sadly, I am in the trenches with homework and therefore unable to be funny enough to follow through on this idea.

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

Putting this on my resume. I have issues with the inherent dumbfuckery of the "work till you die without complaints even when we treat you like shit" system, but I promise so long as you're paying me to work, I'll bring my best work ethic and all of my patience!

Top Ten Reasons You Should Hire Me Despite My Disillusionment With Reality And My Subsequent Hatred For The System