When Will A Cute Tall Curly Hair Midwest Emo Come Save Me From This Castle Ive Been Entrapped In

Anyone else ever cry because of a friends death but without them being dead. Like they are alive and well and i fully know this fact so why was i breaking out into borderline hyperventilation about their death

Fly me to tbe moon

Crying hyperventilating and packing my bag i dont want to be in this house anymore i dont want to feel like the ultimate disappointment and i dont want to live i wish i was never born why would they put me on this earth if they wouldnt love me why do i have to be so useless why csnt i just be normal

It isn't relapsing if it's a new method

The void its coming back

I just had the most extreme urge to relapse into sh again but then I had a poo and now I don't have the urge anymore

People who hate others for something they did while in active addiction are actually so fucking full of themselves

Don't expect an addict to be acting right

Especially when you know they are using while they are being this "horrible vile person" (the most said addict done is usually just say smth mildly rude)

Like I understand when it comes to the addict being abusive or whatever

But more times then not people only be judging specifically FEMALE addicts who literally only CALL PEOPLE OUT ON THEIR WACK BEHAVIOR or just fall in love with the wrong people, which mind you is influenced by their addiction

And yes a fucking addict will beg for money for their addiction

If you have never had an addiction I don't want to hear any of it

You do NOT understand how it fucking feels to have an addiction and never remember anything you do YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO NOT BE ABLE TO FEEL HAPPY WITHOUT YOUR ADDICTION

so yeah

Just my thoughts

I really do not think people should judge addicts the way they do like have some fucking grip on reality

Addicts are addicts because they've been hurt, because they are hurt, because they are struggling

More then not, particularly for female addicts but also just implies to addicts in general, addicts are using their substance as a method of escapeism and/or coping mechanism as what is essentially a wheelchair, something that helps them survive

I don't think you as a non addict can actually judge an addicts actions when you don't understand any of their life or thought process

This also applies to judgement of people with BPD, Bipolar, Depression ect

If you don't understand then don't judge

NOOOOOO YOU WERENT SUPPOSE TO FALL IN LOVE W ME NOOOOOOOO

Please please please dpnt fall in love with me I dont want to hurt yoh

Addiction sucks because you get so deep into it that you dont know how to live without your substance. Life without it feels so lacklustre. You lose track of who you are

I am an alcoholic trying to recover but living without is so hard for me.

This is my plan

I will start drinking in secret to try reduce my alc intake cuz trying to go sober is really hard, idk how to act sober, idk who I am sober, idk how to feel normal sober

It just doesnt work for me

Trying to stay sober while everyone around you is either street drinking or clubbing is so hard

I'm 18 why do I have to struggle like this

The only way I will feel happy without blacking out or doing stupid shit is if i keep drinking but without telling anyone,

Doing it in secret because then I will be worried about people knowing so I will be forced to drink less but I still get to have the clutch that makes me likeable and able to actually enjoy my time

I know this is a bad idea and I should just cut it out entirely but after a week of trying I just cant I cannot it is too difficult