The Eighth Child (~TUA AU~) - Season 2

Two to Tango

prompt: the aftermath of Carmy's words seem to rattle him more than you.

pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader pairing: Carmy x Peach

fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear

collection masterlist: Clingy Baby

word count: 5.4k+

note: author still does not want any messages about glorifying toxic relationships. typically, but not always, when someone calls you clingy, it's weaponized and is abusive. this fic is not meant to portray that! it’s meant to show internal agony and the journey to forgiveness - Carmy apologizes 'cause he's actually sorry!

warnings: cursing, reader folds 'cause who wouldn't for the sweet puppy that is Carmy, hurt and comfort, small angst, small fluff, we talk about Mikey a bit, author uses writing as therapy, relationship angst...? barely edited.

part one: God's Plan

"It's six in the Goddamn morning!" You raged at your front door, stomping up to it, "Are you dumb in the fucking head!? Who the fuck in their right mind knocks like the Goddamn cops at six in the fucking morning!?"

You whipped it open, the force causing a breeze of air to blow your bedridden hair back and highlight your exhaustion. "Hiya, sunshine," Richie beamed down at you, holding up a paper bag, offering, "donut?"

"Richie!? I know you're not fuckin' stupid, baby boy, so, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's six in the morning on my day off - do you want to give me a reason to punch you? You hate your nose that much?"

He tisked at you mockingly, "Someone's cranky this morning."

"What do you want?"

"You're not gonna invite me in for coffee? I brought us donuts! See? C'mon, Peach," He jostled the bag around with a shit-eating, closed-lip smile. "Dooonuts," he taunted.

You had to pause, count to ten in your head, then sigh through your nose. You offered kindly, "Richie? Would you like to come in for some coffee? Since you kindly brought donuts?"

He grinned, "Awwh, thanks, Peach, thats real nice of yah! Don't mind if I do!"

"Don't call me that," you snapped, leading him into your kitchen. The door shut and locked.

"Oh, someone's touchy."

"What do you fucking want?" You whined, pouring two mugs of hot coffee. "You come bangin' at my door, early ass in the mornin'. You better have a good-ass reason," you slid the mug over the counter he sat at. "Cream or sugar?"

He shook his head, fiddling with the mug for a moment before admitting as you dressed up your own coffee, "Uh, so... It's Carmy."

You paused, taking a slow sip from your mug, waiting for more that wouldn't come. So, you quietly asked, "What about Carmy?"

"He's falling apart."

"O...Kay?"

"Peach," he frowned, "you know that your relationship was the only thing that made sense to him - he's falling apart without you there."

"Okay," you nodded, taking another swallow of hot bean-water.

"That's it? Nothing else to say? Dude's losin' his fuckin' shit, Peach. Okay? Barely leaves the restaurant, h-he's all manic and shit, doesn't stop cookin', isn't gettin' a lotta sleep, and Syd said his clothes are all over the apartment - he's not keeping himself in order."

"So, he needs his mother?"

Richie glared with a clenched jaw, "Not fuckin' funny, Peach."

"I'm not laughing."

"He needs you."

"I'd argue otherwise, he's a grown fuckin' man who doesn't need to be taken care of. Look, if he was man enough to call me a desperate, clingy bitch, he's man enough to deal with the fallout of his words."

"Look, hey, hey, hey, I'm not sayin' he's not in the wrong," he waved his hands, eyes widening, "actually, the exact opposite. We all chewed his ass out when we found out what he fuckin' said, Peach. And look, I've never seen Fak that fuckin' angry."

You semi-pouted your bottom lip, "Really?"

"Fak was ready to strangle Carmy, I think," Richie sighed. "I yelled, Sugar yelled, Fak lost his shit, Syd even cornered him in the office and laid into him..."

"I thought she didn't like me," you whispered.

"She's getting to know you, but she likes you," he assured, "and it's obvious the affect you have on Carmy. We all respect that - "

"Oh, great, so everyone except the one person who needs to respect our relationship - respects it!"

Richie frowned at you, nodding in agreement before admitting, "He's a dumb fuckin' idiot, Peach, we all know that, but the dude is losing it without you."

"Sucks to suck."

"Peach," he groaned, slapping his hands to the counter with exasperation. "Don't you love him?"

"Of course I love him, but I also have this little thing called self-respect! He said some shit - shit he can't ever take back. The fuck I look like going back to him when he's the one in the wrong!? I don't hate myself that much, and despite what he says, I'm not that desperate for love."

"How is talking to the man you love - "

"Richie," you paused him, "your Cousin said a lot of hurtful shit. It's been weeks, okay? He's gonna snap outta it, realize what he's done, and right the wrongs he's committed. I don't need to speed that along in any way, shape, or form - he's a grown man. And I'm a grown woman, I don't have to fall to anyone's beck-and-call, he can figure his own shit out."

"I know - look, it's been fuckin' weeks of us dealin' with him losin' his fuckin' mind!" Richie snapped. "We tried to respect that you wanted distance and time, we really did, but he's losin' it, Peach, more than he's lost it before. Okay? I'm concerned about him, more than I was when the shit with Mikey went down..."

You sighed and leaned on your kitchen counter, wiping your fingers over your eyes to pinch the bridge of your nose after. "Okay, okay," you paused, sighing again, blinking as you looked at Richie, "so, what would you like me to do?"

He pouted dramatically, "Talk to him? Please?"

"To say... What?"

"I don't know, you guys can work that out together, but he's miserable, Peach. Just talk to him, just..." He sighed, shaking his head, "I know it's not fair to ask of you, but he's slippin' off the deep end. You're all he knows, all that makes sense to him, and with you gone..." His eyes turned red as he held back his tears, "I-I'm not sayin' he's gonna do anythin', Peach, but everythin' with Mikey's still so fresh... I just - I can't go through this again. Can't lose another Berzatto."

You frowned, understanding now why he appeared so frazzled.

"Carmy's not Mikey, Richie, okay?" You reminded him softly, reaching for his hand; leaving your extended to reach him, "And you're not gonna lose any more of us, you hear me?" You gave a squeeze, "I'll talk to him."

"Really?"

"I will," you assured softly, seeing the single tear drop from his waterline when he bowed his head and sniffled harshly. "Hey, Richie...? Do you, maybe, wanna bring some flowers to Mikey today? Think you wanna visit?"

He shrugged, "Maybe..."

"Maybe it'll be nice," you assured calmly. "It rained a few days ago, so, the ground won't be too soggy anymore, but the grass will be lush and green - hydrated and shit."

"Right," he chuckled, nodding, "yeah, okay, maybe that'll be nice, yeah, you're right."

"Maybe Carmy could use a visit, too."

"He won't go."

You nodded, "I know, but sometimes it's nice to just have the offer."

Richie agreed, downing the last of his black coffee. "All right," he cleared his throat, "let's go - you wearin' that?"

"What?"

"You gonna wear that? To go talk to Carmy?"

"It's not even seven in the morning!"

"He's at the restaurant," Richie shrugged. "Dude doesn't leave. C'mon, he needs a nap or somethin'."

You groaned, knowing he wouldn't leave unless you left with him. So, you got ready quickly while he sat at your desktop computer; playing Facebook's FarmVille - the same you left your little cousins to play when they needed distracted. He was enraptured by the adorable virtual sheep, laughing to himself as he learned the ropes of the game; and when you were ready, you had time to fill a to-go tumbler of coffee while he signed off.

When you arrived at The Beef, it was still closed for the morning prep; and inside, chaos rained in a fury of angry voices. You listened to Carmy snap at Marcus about something petty, going as far as to slap a pastry out of his hand as they argued in one another's faces with ignited passion.

"Ooookay," you moved through the kitchen and got between the two men, hands on Carmy's chest, "that's enough, Chef, hey, hey, hey, c'mon, walk away - just walk away, Carmy, don't do this. Hey, hey, don't do this, c'mon, just step off - walk away with me, please. Please, Carmy, hey, hey, step off, walk away with me, please."

"Fuck you doin' here, Peach?" He asked with red, swollen eyes. He looked sullen; pale between the angry red blotches to his skin, bags under his tired eyes, looking worn out and thinner than you remembered.

"Yeah, hey, hey, we'll talk about that, c'mon, outside, outside, outside," you directed him, sighing at the sight of the splattered pastry you were forced to step over. "I'm so sorry, Marcus," you whispered, seeing him nod and wave you off as you and Carmy pushed outside into the alley.

The door shut behind you, making Carmy snarl, "What the fuck, Peach - "

"No, I think that's better asked to you," you snapped. "The hell's wrong with you? Yellin' at Marcus like that? You know how rude it is to slap shit outta anyone's hand?"

He paced in anger, wiping a hand down his face; circling his mouth with his fingers, eyes ringed with red, hair greasy and tossed in a mess. His pants looked baggy, his shirt wrinkled, stained, and dirty with sweat marks.

"What're you doin' here?" He asked in a pant, hands going to his slender hips, head shaking as his tear-filled eyes avoided yours.

"Carmy, we need to talk."

"No shit," he breathed, scoffing after and widening his pace.

"Hey, Carmy, hey, hey," you reached for him, taking both his wrists in your grasp so he had to face you. "I need you to pause for me, please, hey," you stepped in his way when he tried to move. "Carmy, you're no good to anyone when you're like this - least of all yourself. So, I need you to talk - "

"You left," he panicked, pulling back to start pacing again. "You left - you left me. We got in a fight and you left, you fucking left. You walked away and you left me."

"Carmy, we got in more than a fight," you sighed. "You lashed out at me, then turned avoidant, and I don't linger where I'm not wanted."

"How can you think that?" He demanded, still pacing. "That you're not wanted by me? That you're not welcome, what? In my life? At my side? With me? Baby - of course, you are!"

"You didn't exactly make me feel any different," you pointed out sharply. "Carmy, can you please fucking pause for me so we can talk this out - "

"I know I fucked up," he ranted to himself, huffing and puffing as his emotion strangled him. "I know I did, I kept - I couldn't - I fucked up. I know I did. I couldn't get my head outta my ass," he listed, pacing as he panted when panic took hold of his being, "and I hurt you, and it was like I had to keep hurting you because I couldn't be alone in what I felt and I couldn't exactly figure out what the fuck I was feeling - I just needed you to hurt, too."

"Carmy," you sighed patiently.

"And I couldn't stop, I just kept going, and when I realized how bad I made it, I couldn't fucking stop - I needed y-yo-you t-to know what I felt, but I couldn't find the words. I-I hate that I did that, I-I fucking hurt you and I made this so much worse than it ever had t-to be, and I fucking know, Peach, okay? I know you're not clingy, you were just loving me. Y-You were loving me, you were using your own love languages, and I felt y-you so fuckin' close to me, and freaked out - I just - I just don't know why. I just - I panicked, I couldn't stop whatever I felt, and I'm so sorry," he breathed, shaking his head, wiping his cheeks as the tears started. "I-I-I'm so sorry, Peach, I couldn't control myself and I-I hate that I hurt you, and I know I don't deserve your understanding, but I just - I couldn't stop - "

"Carmy," you stepped directly in his footpath; needing to seize hold of his swollen biceps to catch his movements as he all but barreled right into you, "I need you to breathe."

"Nah, I'm okay - "

"No, you're not," you spoke sternly, shaking your head. "Baby," you eased your tone to a softer tone, seeing a glimmer of hope spark in his baby blues, "I need you to take a breath and remain in the present with me, okay? Just stand here with me," you watched as he blinked a couple of times; reaching out to hold your waist tentatively. "And stay in the present, okay? Stay here with me."

"I'm so sorry, Peach," he whispered, stepping closer so he could feel your breasts against his chest; caging you with his arms. "I'm so fuckin' sorry, I didn't - I didn't know what the fuck I was even trying to fight with you about. You're not clingy - you're not any of the things I said, I didn't mean it - any of it."

"Calling me desperate?"

"I didn't mean any of it."

"A bitch?"

"Please," he whispered, bringing you in closer so he could rest his forehead on yours. "Don't repeat it, I know what I said, and I'm so fucking sorry for all of it. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm goin' crazy without yah, Peach. I need my best girl, and I don't deserve you, but I fuckin' need you." He sniffled, pulling back to caress your cheek, whispering, "I need you, Peach, you're the only thing that I know - the only thing I can understand, that makes sense to me. I think I just felt stressed and overwhelmed, I wasn't sure what to do - I couldn't find the words, I'm so sorry."

You nodded slowly, "I think we can work through this."

"I don't deserve you."

"Maybe not, but you have me anyway," you whispered, bringing his forehead to your own again. "But you can't do this again, taking anger out on me when I haven't done anything."

"Never again," he sighed, now nestling into your neck for comfort; arms tightening so you were the closest you could be with your head bent to keep his head caressed with yours.

"I don't think we can say 'never', but we can make an effort to leave work stress at work, right?" You whispered softly, letting one around coil around him to keep him close; the other caressing his jaw. "You don't get to treat me like that," you reminded him, "because I'm on your side, Carmy, I'm not the enemy."

"I know," he squeezed you tight.

"And the people doing their jobs are not the enemy," you smirked.

"I know," he chuckled lightly. "I owe Marcus an apology..."

"I'm sure you owe it to the others, too," you mused, holding his cheek as you turned your head to kiss his forehead. "Promise me we're done with that reactive bullshit. It doesn't make navigating a relationship easier on us."

"We're done, we're so fuckin' done with that shit," he whispered, deflating into your embrace as you held him close. "I'm so sorry, baby. I really am."

"I know," you comforted softly. "I forgive you."

"I don't deserve it."

"Hey, hey, this self-deprecating stunt has to end, too. We've gotta go forward with at least some confidence if we're gonna figure this out together."

He nodded, pulling back but keeping hold of your waist. "I am confident about this... About you - about us."

"Hmm?" You gently pushed a few stray curls from his forehead.

"Move in with me - officially."

Your face contorted in mild disappointment, "Oh, Carmen - "

"No, no," he rushed, sighing as his hand flattened on your jaw and cheek again, "just listen to me. I've wanted to ask you for a long time, okay? I've wanted this for - like - fucking years. Hear me? I just," he sighed, "I wasn't sure how to ask. I want this for us, I want us to be together, okay? Officially. I-I want us living together, Peach, okay? I want to come home and just - I want you there. I want all of you," he frowned, tears swelling again, "and all your shoes in the foyer, hair in the shower drain, perfume on the counter, and every-single-way you know how to love me. I was wrong to say you were clingy - and everything else I said. Baby, the last couple weeks, I've felt so fucking empty, so lonely and - just - cold. I've been cold without you. I need you, Peach, I need you with me, and I need you to be exactly you - no holding back. Because you're exactly who I need to love me, I'm so sorry I fucked that up before."

"Carmy."

He frowned, "I'm sorry."

"I know," you smirked, "and I forgive you. But you know it's gonna take more than a few pretty words and some tears, right?"

He nodded, "Anything to make this work again."

You sighed in patience, "Go say your apologies to the others, we've got t'make a stop before going back to yours - and you're going to take a fucking nap."

"I'm fine - "

"Look me in my eye and try to tell me in the past 72 hours, you've had decent, restful sleep."

He frowned, opening his mouth a few times but then sighing. "You know I can't," he whispered.

"Exactly why we're going back to yours."

Carmy paused, brows furrowing as if a thread pulled them together. He asked softly, "Is that a no to us... Living together? Is that why you're calling it 'my' place?"

You offered him a look of patience and leaned in to peck his lips for a few prolonged seconds, promising, "There's your apartment, there's my apartment, and then there's gonna be our apartment. Somewhere that's just ours, 100% us." His mouth stretched in a grin, so you swiftly cut him off, "But you have to ask me again when you've got restful sleep under your belt. I want you clear headed when you make this kinda decision."

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed. "Where're we goin' before?"

You swallowed nervously, telling him softly, "You absolutely do not have to go with us, but I think Richie could use a visit out to Mikey's grave. I said I'd take him with some flowers, but you do not have to get out to go with us - not if you're not ready."

He blinked a few times, rolling his lips between his teeth as his eyes dropped from yours. You were about to coo his name and assure him again, when he nodded at you and tried to half-smile. "Okay," he breathed.

"Okay?"

"Mhm. I'll, uh... M-Maybe I can, just, hang back in the car."

"Sure, baby, whatever you're comfortable with," you whispered, leaning in to peck his forehead. "You good?"

"I will be."

"Mhm," you hummed, caressing his cheek again before pushing your hand into his curls. "Now, let's get a move on - I want you to march in there, say you're sorry to your Chefs, and then we'll leave."

"Yes, ma'am," Carmy whispered, leaning in to kiss you - but you pulled back.

"Aht," you halted him with a teasing finger to his lips, "after we've got everything worked out, then you can kiss me."

"You got t'kiss me," he mumbled against your finger; making you hum as you fought off a stretching smile, and lower your hand.

"Fair point - just one then - "

He cut you off by, indeed, pressing a single kiss to your lips, but not pulling back. His hand raised to hold the back of your head, your lips spreading in a grin against his; finding rhythm to move together before pausing to press in prolonged passion.

When he pulled back, you both paused to smile, and when you tried to peck his lips again, he pulled back, teasing, "Aht, just the one."

"Oh, fuck you," you laughed lightly, letting him take your hand before leading you back into the kitchen. The other Chefs lingered, sparing you and Carmy a few nervous glances, making you whisper in his ear as you squeezed his hand, "Go ahead, baby, get it done."

He nodded and called the kitchen to attention, clearing his throat, and beginning to make his apologies. He singled out Marcus, then Sydney, Richie, and Sugar; the kitchen staff all accepting his words and insisting he could take the day off - even the next few days if he wanted! You had to usher him to grab his things a few times, nudging him in reminder and verbally pushing him back into action. That boy's ADHD would truly be the death of him.

"So?" Richie smirked at you as Marcus handed you a packaged box of pastries.

"We're talking it out."

He chuckled, "Good. Get him outta here, Peach, dude needs to breathe."

"I got it," you swatted him away as Carmy exited the office. "But we've got somewhere to be first, right?"

He paused, then nodded and asked in a mutter, "He said okay?"

"He's got time to decide what he wants to do, but he knows we're going. C'mon, get your coat."

Richie met you at the front of the restaurant and with a parting wink to Sugar, you took Carmy's hand, tangled your fingers together, and left to venture to your parked car. Carmy got in the front, Richie in the back, and after a stop at a corner bodega to grab three bouquets of flowers, you drove to the cemetery. Carmy was silent, no music played, and Richie's leg bounced in anxious tension; making small conversation with you about your job in an effort to distract himself.

When you arrived, you pulled up on the access road that you knew was closest to Mikey's grave. Richie spared a glare between you and Carmy before muttering that he needed a cigarette and got out of the car to leave you alone. "Baby?" You whispered, reaching for his hand. "Hey, look, if you don't want to go with us, it's okay. We won't be long... But maybe you want to sign this," you showed him the small, blank name card left in the flowers.

"Why?" He whispered.

You shrugged, "So he knows they're from you."

"Peach," he sighed, meeting your eyes.

"Baby, I know it's silly, I know it's easier to ignore it all. But I'd like to believe it's just a nice gesture for our own closure - it's a signed gift from us, to them... And maybe it's nice to pretend that wherever they are, they know what we've left for them."

Carmy nodded slowly, "I-I don't think... I don't think I can go..."

"It's okay, baby," you whispered.

"But," he sniffled, opening his hand to you, "I'll sign it, if you'll leave it for me?"

"Of course," you rushed, opening your purse to producing a pen for him. The clank card rest on the center console of your car, pausing, swallowing nervously, then scribbling his name as he cleared his throat. He offered you the pen, waited until it was put away, then offered the flowers. "Hang tight, we won't be too long," you whispered, leaning in to rest your forehead. "You okay?"

He nodded, pecking your forehead before letting you get out of the car. You handed Richie his own flowers with a signed card, holding your own and Carmy's; linking arms with Rich to venture up the small grass hill and moved about halfway down the cemetery plot line. When you came to his stone, you understood this was what Rich needed more than you, so, you knelt and laid the two bouquets down before starting to quickly groom the area around his tombstone.

You told him, "I'm sorry it's not much, but I'll be back later for a picnic and a chat. I brought you flowers from me a-and from Carmy. He's in the car, but he's here, Mikey... Give him time," you whispered, brushing dirt from the stone before standing. "Take your time," you told Richie softly, seeing the tears gather in his eyes.

"Thanks, Peach," he whispered, offering you a tight hug. When you pulled back and started to walk away, Richie lowered himself to kneel and lay his own flowers down; hearing him tell Mikey, "Don't gotta worry 'bout us, Mike-Man, Peach is the glue that keeps us together. Shit, she even got Carmy out here..."

You made it back to the car and got in, smiling at Carmy - but dropping it the instant you saw tears in his eyes. "Talk to me," you whispered, reaching for a wet wipe in your glovebox to clean your hands after plucking the grass and brushing off dirt from the grave.

"Why can't I get out?"

You only stared at him for a long moment, unsure what to say.

"I'm here... I'm finally here... Why can't I get out?"

"You're not ready," you nodded, tossing the wipe aside to a plastic bag. "It's okay, Carmy, it's okay to not be ready yet. We can come back when you are," you reached for his hand.

"I think this added to my frustration," he admitted. "I couldn't... I didn't go to the funeral, haven't been here since he was... You know."

"Laid to rest."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Fuck's wrong with me?"

"You're grieving," you relented, nuzzling closer so your head rested on his shoulder. "It's not linear, Carmy, baby, just let yourself feel. When you try to repress your emotions, you lash out inappropriately."

"I know," he whispered, "'M sorry."

"It's not your fault," you promised, the two of you quietly bowing your heads together. You remained as such until Richie got back in the car, and from there, it was quiet as everyone stewed in their own emotion. You dropped Rich back at work before promising to call him later and driving away; heading for Carmy's apartment in the soothing silence, his hand locked in yours.

When you arrived at his apartment, you froze upon seeing the interior's state. "Oh, Carmy, no," you whispered, frowning deeply.

"Looks worse than it is," he deflected. You only hummed and let him lead you to the bedroom; watching him strip and prepare for bed before joining you on the mattress. He crashed almost immediately, sighing in relief as he pecked over your shoulder and collarbone, muttering, "'M so glad you're back. 'M so sorry, Peach."

"I know you are, and I forgive you," you told him softly, carding a manicured hand through his hair. "Just get some rest, baby."

He was asleep nearly instantly. He deflated on top of you, deeply resting enough to not notice you slip out from under him. You cleaned his entire apartment; doing laundry, cleaning, scrubbing, replacing necessities he deemed himself too lazy to pay attention to. You did dishes, cleaned out his fridge, and as you mopped up the floors, the sun set and Carmy emerged from the bedroom.

"Baby?" He mumbled in earnest confusion, sighing in relief when he saw you.

"What? Afraid I disappeared on you?" You teased with a small grin.

"For sure," he mumbled, wiping sleep from his eyes; making your amusement dim when you realized the nerve it struck. "The hell you doin'?"

"You didn't seriously think I could rest knowing this monster of a clean-up job lingered out here, did you?"

"I don't want you t'clean after me."

"Well, too late," you smirked. "You good now?"

"I feel better, yeah."

"Good."

"And I made up my mind."

"Hmm? About what?"

"I'm gonna take some time off work," he nodded, "and focus on us. Get us in a new crib, it'll be nice."

"Think you can handle that?"

He nodded, "I'll have to, you're the most important thing in my life, I can't lose you. So, if I gotta take time off, that's the least of my worries. I'm only here for us, for you."

You smiled at him, setting the mop aside to wrap him in your arms. "I like the sound of that, us making a home together - being able to decorate a new home. But don't let me overdo it, okay? I get all excited and kinda bulldoze my way through projects. I don't want you t'find real reason t'resent me."

"Nah, that ain't possible," he promised quietly.

True to his word, Carmy took three solid weeks off; agreeing to a fourth week as a contact-only consultant. You and he slept in most days, looking at apartments, and not once did he even mention work. He was diligent in his attention, focused on you and you alone; putting in overtime to rebuild that what was broke by focusing on shared interests again. You found a place you loved ready for what was basically immediate move-in, taking time to pack your respected places and prepare for the official start of your cohabitating relationship.

You didn't forget what he said, being reserved in your displays of love. Yet Carmy was different; he was totally clingy the moment you returned to his life. He feared letting you go meant you'd disappear again, feared you'd run away again. He held your hand at every possible opportunity, got you a fresh bouquet of weekly flowers, ran all his errands with you; never went to bed without you, cooked all meals with you in the kitchen - perched up on a counter. Most showers you took together, and almost every night was spent cuddling on the couch or in bed with either a book being shared between you or a new show playing on the mounted flatscreen TV.

Carmy clung because he thought if he showed you acts of his love, it'd allow comfort towards your loving behavior to flourish again - and he was right. It took a little bit of time, but Carmy clung tighter and tighter; ensuring you started to reciprocate before ever easing up in the intensity of his affectionate displays. He didn't want to overwhelm you, but knew you needed the reassurance.

You were cautious, you were apprehensive; tiptoeing around Carmy even when living together before warming back up to him. You didn't need to repeat the words he hurled at you all those weeks ago, not wanting to dredge up repressed feelings, but never letting him forget what he said. Your actions spoke enough, skittish around his affection; something Carmy took note of and despised himself for. He made up for it, of course he did, it was Carmy and he hated tension and conflict in his closest circles of life. Yet it wasn't so easy for you two to move forward, they weren't just words to you.

They were direct insults to you as a person; to you and how you loved others. Carmy had seen your deepest fear and used it as a defense against you - wanting you to hurt the way he was, too. He understood this wasn't acceptable, knowing the next time he resorted to such despicable actions, you'd simply walk away; never dealing with disrespect, so, he needed to be acutely aware of his words.

You would never allow yourself to be someone else's doormat, but part of being an adult is understanding that people were allowed to make mistakes - it's part of being fucking human. How terrible you'd feel if someone held your own mistakes against you, because the truth was, you weren't perfect either.

Part of being in a(n adult) relationship is understanding when someone apologized, it was best to accept and move on because nothing was ever solved by dragging turmoil out. This didn't mean forget what happened, forget whatever emotion was evoked - but to do your part to repair what was broken; no matter who was at fault, it always took Two to Tango.

And in this song and dance, you were ready to sweep around the dance floor if only with Carmy. Because that's what a relationship was; a conscious effort by both partners to work as one, to dance in-sync; owning the art together, as equal partners.

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Let Your Hair Down: Masterlist (finished series)

story summary:  Harry gets more than he bargains for when he falls not only for you but your little girl as well.

warnings: Chapters with two ** is smut chapters. One’s with three *** are ones I feel have some very sensitive topics. Please read the warnings at the beginning of every chapter. 

>A place to find all the chapters!

Chapter One.

Chapter Two.

Chapter Three.

Chapter Four.

Chapter Five.

Chapter Six.**

Chapter Seven.

Chapter Eight.

Chapter Nine.

Chapter Ten.

Chapter Eleven.**

Chapter Twelve. **

Chapter Thirteen.

Chapter Fourteen.

Chapter Fifteen.

Chapter Sixteen.

Chapter Seventeen. **

Chapter Eighteen.***

Chapter Nineteen.

Chapter Twenty.

Chapter Twenty-one.**

Chapter Twenty-two.

Chapter Twenty-three.

Chapter Twenty-four.

Chapter Twenty-five.

Chapter Twenty-six. ***

Chapter Twenty-seven.

Chapter Twenty-eight.

Chapter Twenty-nine.***

Chapter Thirty.

Harry Styles Fic Recs: One Shots

------------ ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍓🍒🍄 ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ------------

Last Updated: 8/02/2024

Friends to Lovers:

Best Friends My Ass by @theonewiththefanfics

the edge of all we've ever known by @stylesharrys

overprotective by @satanhalsey

The one where Y/N is terribly oblivious and Harry is in love with his best friend - H.S by (unknown)

Famous! Reader:

POUR IT OUT by @watchmegetobsessed

Never Have I Ever by @watchmegetobsessed

goodbye by @peleksstuff

this blurb by @anettesblogs

late late show by @let-me-write-shit

celebrity crush by @inkslingerharry

a talk show and a surprise by @gucciwins

the instagram poll by @ifancyharry

Assistant! Reader:

Tomato - Tomato by @theonewiththefanfics

in which you’re harry’s assistant and harry needs to open his eyes by @havethetimeofyourstyles

shy by @moonchildstyles

ever since new york by @ifancyharry

two for the show by @nationalharryleague

Fluff:

sweet nothings by @pancakes4two

Update (2 parts) by @watchmegetobsessed

love her stupid by @finelinevogue

love me like you do by @stylesharrys

vogue beauty secrets by @avatar-anna

Wishing you were here tonight is like holding on. (CEO!H)** by @guardarecheluna

look into his angel eyes by @thestoryofusstan

Angst:

can't be with you anymore by @lovebittenbyevans

Smut: (click here for my smut masterlist)

trust by @daisyblog

BMWB by @cinemastyles-backup

Lonely People Master List

(Finished as of Dec 31 2022)

Keep reading

My So Called Masterlist

Here lies the tragedy, comments are always welcome :)

Smut is marked *** 

Last Updated 11/09/18

Hiatus: Series is taking a short break and will pick back up.. eventually

Alpha’s Duties 

When Y/N steps foot in Beacon Hills, she has one goal. Save the McCall pack. She had rules, no boys, no friends, just a job, but that all changed when she fell for the alpha.

One – Two – Three – Four – Five – Six – Seven – Eight* – Nine –Ten – Epilogue

Boy Meets Girl 

Dylan O’Brien has it all. A famous acting career, a famous girlfriend, roaring fans.. the only thing he doesn’t have, is true love. That all changes when he meets the not so starstuck, Y/N. You know what they say about hollywood, it loves a dirty little secret.

One – Two – Three – Four – Five – Six – Seven – Eight – Nine –Epilogue

It’s Just A Word // Soulmate AU

When you turn 13, you get a word. One word, which only your soulmate can see. Y/N spent her time covering up hers, until one day she meets the one person who would do anything to keep his from coming true.

Prologue – One – Two – Three – Four  – Five – Six – Seven* – Eight  –Nine – Ten – Eleven – Twelve – Thirteen – Fourteen – Fifteen – Epilogue

Falling Backwards // High School AU  [Hiatus]

A failed test and hurtful comment turn into a new math equation for Y/N and resident player Stiles Stilinski. So the question remains, what do you get when you add a fuckboy + Sweet talking LAX bro + High School mean girls + And a Deal? The D.U.F.F

One – Two – Three

Soul Survivor

In times of war, when it’s the hunters verses the hunted, no one can keep their hands clean. When an ally comes from shadows.. Stiles and the McCall pack have a tough choice to make about the lesser of two evils and what they are willing to do to survive.

Prologue

Sacrifices 

There’s a couple things you need to know about Y/N Stilinski. She loves her dad. She loves her mischievous little brother. And she may or may not still love her best friend from High School, Derek Hale. What she doesn’t love, however, is being lied to. Repeatedly. 

One – Two – Three – Four – Five –  Six

Fair Beacon Hills 

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes, A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life choose their path.

One – Two – Three

Stiles Stilinski

Bad Habits Die Hard

The Funeral

Lineage (Stydia/Scalia)

Void

Never Trust A Fox

Derek Hale

Grinchwolf [Christmas Special]

Tiny Traitor [Christmas Special]

Age Restriction

Wanted

Theo Raeken 

An Empty Glass 

Terrible Timing (Thiam) 

Blurried Lines (Stiles/Theo/Reader)

Isaac Lahey

A New Fairytale 

Sterek

Never Again

TW & Their Hogwarts Houses

Stiles Stilinski

Lydia Martin

Kira Yukimura

Riverdale

Betty Cooper

Veronica Lodge

Cheryl Blossom

I recommend the shit out off these fantastic fics from my WC <3

Words Hurt//Fuckboy!Dylan AU – By @writersoull

Mistakes and Regret – By @madjor99

Riddle to Solve – By @roscoeknows

Memory Found – By @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

Do You Love Me? – By @dylanobemineforever

It’s Okay, You Don’t Have To Love Me – By @redbrickisaac

Pup and Baby Wolf – By @mixedupsammy

My LN4 recommendations💕

(updated May 11th, 2025)

General Lando x Reader

Practice Makes Perfect by @haniette

Love In the Air by @oikarma

Matchmaker by @uglyducklingofthe2000s

You’re Dating Him? by @landoughnut

For Her by @julietsf1

Drive to Survive Moments by @jungwnies

Loud and Clear by @f1lovr

You‘re My Baby Too by @ccsainzleclerc5516

Through Their Eyes by @revolutionsingingintherainnn

To Be Loved Loudly by @sharlsworld

Tipsy and Clingy by @lqvesoph

Curly maintenance by @kikas-cafe

Passenger princess by @fairene

Blueprints by @jungwnies

Looks better like this by @leaawrites

Midnight Rivalry by @wondergirlsthings

Pillow Problems by @throttleheart

Lando x Reader (including the whole Grid)

Serving Yourself Less by @jungwnies

Love Languages by @fallingforyouforeverr

Meeting the Family by @jungwnies

all text posts by @dannyriccsystem

all text posts by @babygirlewis

The End Of Everything | David Dobrik

Summary: You come to the realization that yours and David’s relationship is over and there’s nothing you can do to save it.

A/n: Okay, this is probably this best angst fic I’ve ever written and probably the longest 😳 But I worked hard so I hope you guys enjoy it :)

Category: angst

Warnings: breakup, crying, language

Word Count: 2.3k

The house was dark and silent. The extra rooms are empty of presence from the ones who lived there. The only source of light stemmed from the cracked door that led to David’s room. Two body’s sitting on the edge of the California King sized bed, the deafening silence surrounding the two of you.. It was the type of silence that would have you on the edge of your seat during a horror movie, waiting for the next scare. But this wasn’t a horror movie. No, this was reality. This was your reality.

You never wanted this day to come. The day you’d be perched on your boyfriend’s bed, staring at the wall. The day where constant tears would be streaming down your cheeks, sometimes finding its way to the corner of your mouth, leaving you with a salty taste. The day where David sat besides you, hands in his lap staring at the same wall, but without the tears.

Keep reading

Remind Me

pairings: charles leclerc x fem!reader

warnings: childhood friends, adorable young charles, lorenzo and arthur being such 'wonderful' brothers.

authors note: i listened charles' new song and oh my god, it's PERFECT! i absolutely loved writing this, especially because the leclerc family appears in it and i mentioned the lyrics from 'those eyes'

word count: 1.2K

Charles and Y/N had met when they were children, as their parents were good friends. They would often play together at family gatherings and quickly became close friends.

One day, as they were playing in the backyard, Charles and Y/N sat down on a swing set to catch their breath. Charles turned to Y/N with a shy smile and asked, "Mon petit chou* do you want to be my girlfriend?" Y/N giggled and nodded, and from that day on, they were inseparable. *my little cabbage

Even though they were just children, Charles' brothers Arthur and Lorenzo would tease him about his crush on Y/N. But Charles didn't care, he knew that he had found someone special in Y/N and he would do anything to make her happy.

Years had passed since their childhood and one night, they found themselves lost in a crowd, laughing and he had just returned from a formula 2 race so they having the time of their lives. Despite the exhaustion and stress from the competition, being with Y/N made everything feel right. 

Y/N looked up at Charles and gave him a smile that made his heart skip a beat. her. "I missed you," she said, leaning into him.

Charles pulled her in close, his hand resting on the small of her back. "Me too," he replied, his voice filled with emotion and wrapping his arms around her. "You always make everything better mon petit chou." he whispered, using the french endearment he often called her.

Y/N blushed, feeling a warmth spread through her chest. "You always know how to make me feel special," she said softly.

Charles leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to her temple. "It's easy when it comes to you," he whispered. 

As the night wore on, they found themselves getting lost in the music and the moment. When they finally made their way back to Charles' apartment, they collapsed onto the bed, their bodies intertwined.

Y/N looked up at Charles, her eyes filled with love. "I'm so lucky to have you," she whispered.

Charles kissed her forehead. "No, I'm the lucky one," he said. "Tu es la lumière de ma vie*." he whispered, using one of his favorite romantic French phrases to express his love for her. *you are the light of my life

Over time, Charles and Y/N became even more connected, their love growing stronger with each passing day. Even in the small moments, they found joy in each other's company.

Whether they were sharing a meal, taking a walk, or simply holding hands, they knew that they had something special. And even when they were apart, they always found a way to stay close.

"I miss you," Y/N would say when they were apart.

"I miss you too, mon amour." Charles would reply. "But all I have to do is close my eyes and I can see your smile."

And in those small moments, they were reminded of why they had fallen in love in the first place. All of the small things that they did for each other were what made their love so strong.

As they lay in couch together, Charles looked at Y/N with adoration in his eyes. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," he said.

Y/N smiled, her heart overflowing with love. "And you're the best thing that's ever happened to me," she replied.

Charles grinned back at her, taking her hand in his. "I still can't believe we met when we were just kids. Do you remember when we were kids and I asked you to be my girlfriend?" Charles asked with a smile, looking at Y/N.

Y/N chuckled and rolled her eyes playfully. "Of course I remember, Char. You were so shy and nervous, it was adorable."

"I was not!" Charles protested, grinning.

Y/N laughed, remembering how shy and awkward they had been around each other at first. "Yeah, we were quite the pair of dorks, weren't we?"

Charles chuckled, "Speak for yourself. I was a suave seven-year-old."

Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, "Right, and I was a sophisticated six-year-old."

They both laughed, reminiscing about their childhood memories. It was then that Arthur and Lorenzo, Charles' younger and older brothers, burst into the room.

"Hey guys!" Arthur exclaimed, running up to give his brother a hug.

Lorenzo smiled at Y/N. "Nice to see you again, Y/N."

Y/N returned the smile. "Nice to see you too, Lorenzo. How have you been?"

"Can't complain," he replied, taking a seat next to them. "So, what are you guys up to?"

Charles shrugged. "Just talking about old times."

Arthur perked up. "Oh, I love those stories! Do you guys remember the time when we-"

"Lunch is ready!" Pascale's voice interrupted from the kitchen.

Y/N stood up. "I'll help you set the table, Pascale."

As they walked towards the kitchen, Pascale smiled warmly. "You know, Charles was always talking about you even before you two started dating. He couldn't stop talking about this wonderful girl he had met."

Charles chuckled. "I couldn't help it. I was so smitten with her."

Y/N looked at him lovingly. "And I was smitten with you too."

Lorenzo rolled his eyes playfully. "You two are so mushy."

Arthur grinned. "Yeah, can we talk about something else now? Like how Charles almost crashed during that one race?"

Charles groaned. "Thanks for bringing that up, Arthur."

Everyone laughed, enjoying the lighthearted moment together. As the laughter died down, Y/N took a moment to soak in the love and warmth of Charles' family. She felt grateful to have been welcomed into their home with open arms. "Y/N," Lorenzo spoke up again. "Do you remember that time when Charles was trying to impress you on the go-kart track and it was your first time driving one? He was pushing you so hard that he ended up crashing into you and freaking out."

Y/N laughed at the memory. "Oh my god, yes! I remember thinking 'is Charles trying to kill me?' But then he was so apologetic and worried that I couldn't even be mad at him."

Arthur chimed in, "I remember Charles coming back to us after the accident, freaking out and asking 'is she okay? Is she hurt?' And we was like, 'she's fine, you're the one who needs a hug right now'." Y/N and Lorenzo burst out laughing.

Charles rolled his eyes, but a small smile played on his lips. "I was trying to impress you, okay? I guess I failed miserably."

"Not miserably," Y/N said, reaching for his hand. "It was cute."

They shared a sweet moment, lost in their own little world while the Leclerc family watched on with fondness. 

Charles smiled at her and squeezed her hand. "You think so?" he asked, his eyes shining with happiness.

Y/N nodded. "Definitely. It showed how much you care about me."

"I do care about you, ma belle" Charles said earnestly. "More than anything in the world."

Y/N's heart swelled with emotion at his words. She knew she felt the same way about him. And in that moment, they knew that they would always be there for each other, through the good times and the bad. Because all of the small things that they did for each other were what reminded them why they had fallen in love in the first place.

Belong (Series Masterlist) | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: exes-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers; actress!OC x basketball coach!Yoongi; summer romance; “long” distance relationship; parallel timelines; angst, fluff, smut

Series Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, family drama, sport injury; dreams & moving away; implied depression; basketball and acting talk; 2014 and 2022 Yoongi; shy and nonchalant cocky whipped Yoongi; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Word count: 99.4k

Status: Complete

Series summary: Being an actor has always been your dream. Pursuing it meant many things - leaving the town where you grew up, distancing yourself from your family that had fallen apart, and saying goodbye to the man who made you feel what home was like. When you decide to finally return after being away for so long, you meet Min Yoongi again, and you’re reminded of the summer romance from 8 years ago with the college basketball superstar whose broken dream pushed you away. As you find yourself spending time with him, you’re left to wonder if love changes, if it gives second chances, or if it’s just another illusion that will hurt the both of you the second time around. 

Maybe one day, in 10 years perhaps, or in another lifetime… Maybe then, we’ll finally choose us.

Playlist 🎶

A/N: Long-haired Yoongi in a basketball setting has not left my mind so here he is! This one’s a little emotional since I’m currently in an LDR to *pursue* my dreams so I hope you like it! 🫣🥹 No schedule of the posting this time (school/work is a little intense) so please just stay tuned. 😊

Part 01: Present day

1.5: Rewind

Part 02: Present day

2.5 Rewind

Part 03: Present day

3.5 Rewind

Part 04: Present day

4.5 Rewind

Post-credits

masterlist

Masterlist

All of these fics are intended for an adult audience: MINORS, do not interact as these fics have sensitive topics and sexual content. Blank blogs will be blocked.

Carmy x reader (or unnamed OFC, however you wanna look at it)

The New York Diaries Bodega Girl Boyfriend Family Dinner Viral New Beginnings

The Wedding Chronicles The Announcement Cake & Venue

The Chicago Archives (coming soon!)

Blubrs for the NY Diaries & The Wedding Chronicles 'verse carmy's girl baking him cookies perfume hc's coming home from the salon the domestic girly self care stuff carmy loves &lt;;3 how carmy would be if his love got physically hurt sephora trip with carmy lol 6 month dating anniversary bringing the staff a treat after carmy's been a butt all night lol picnic with carmy &lt;;3 taking care of carmy after a bad day reassuring snuggles home is whenever he is with her sushi date night carmy taking care of his love when she is sick

Spicy blurbs 18+ 🌶️

Carmy being the type to take the time to enjoy his loves lingerie carmy after a random bout of aggressive sex (and the aftercare) promiscuous FaceTime with carmy

Carmy x Delaney (OFC) My Girl

last updated: 8/1/2023