Wayfaring Stranger | Prologue | Rhett Abbott X Reader

wayfaring stranger | prologue | rhett abbott x reader

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synopsis: betrayal sends Rhett veering further West, searching for answers and searching for himself. Instead, he finds you.

warnings: 18+, minors dni. Will be smut, violence and swearing

…

Rhett’s been saying that he’s going to get out of here for about as long as he can remember. Even before he was angry enough to say it out loud, the promise had been scrawled with adolescent lettering, held within the pages of a leather bound journal that had been a gift from his grandfather.

There were days that Rhett really meant it. Some days he meant it more than others. Some days, it was more of an affirmation than a plan. Leaving the courthouse on that day in April, looking his childhood sweetheart in the eye and telling her that he wasn’t coming back — that seemed more binding than any of the words he had told her before.

The sign looked bigger in his dreams. The Welcome to Wyoming, Forever West, planted in the dirt on the border of Montana — when Rhett had dreamed about covering it in dirt as it grew smaller in his rear view mirror, it had looked bigger. It had meant more.

His blue eyes watch the sign grow smaller. The road behind him isn’t empty like it always is in his dreams. There’s a minivan behind him, the tired brunette behind the wheel is bickering with a child in the backseat. Behind her, a truck that doesn’t look all that different from Rhett’s. He wonders if their journey is the same as his. He’s certain it’s not.

It’s a Wednesday when Rhett leaves. He doesn’t say a damn word to anyone other than Maria, they’ll just try to ask him to stay. The road behind him isn’t empty, and neither is the road ahead of him. It’s different than in his dreams, but not in a bad way.

Truthfully, it’s like a pinch to remind him that he’s actually awake. That he did it.

Radio off, everything he owns on the bench beside him.

In his dreams, Rhett makes it further. Drives until he hits the horizon and then some. On that Wednesday, he drives until he can barely keep his eyes open and he’s got a cramp in his calf from the stiff clutch pedal in his old truck. He doesn’t quite hit the horizon, but the glowing neon of a faded motel sign seems far enough there and then.

He has some money with him. It’ll get him where he needs to go, wherever that is. Winnings from bull riding and wages from helping out on neighboring ranches. What his father had paid him usually hadn’t ever stretched far enough to make it into the savings.

Rhett pays for a room for the night, though this is the kind of establishment that’s used to more of an hourly rate. He drops his bags onto the spare bed and sits down on the one that’ll be his for the night.

He’s a couple hundred miles in, near Richfield according to the last sign before he took his exit. Idaho. He’s been here a few times before. Riding competitions, auctions and stuff. It’s never made too much of an impression before and it doesn’t on that Wednesday night.

There’s nothing on TV, Rhett hadn’t thought to bring a book when he was packing in the middle of the night. After about an hour, Rhett can’t stand the sound of his own thoughts any longer. He grabs his coat and heads out, walking along the roadside for a bit until he’s at a bar off the side of the road.

Just another lonely stranger, sitting at a barstool. He considers tequila. After the couple of weeks he has had, he could do with something strong. But, he isn’t far enough — he still feels that pull, telling him to go home and won’t risk being too hungover to drive far enough to shake that feeling tomorrow.

In lieu of tequila, Rhett finds it’s warmth elsewhere. After a couple of beers, Rhett settles out his tab. Pleased with his manners and intrigued by how he teeters on the edge of kicked puppy and mysterious outlaw, the pretty girl behind the bar tells him her shift’s almost over.

Always a gentleman, Rhett makes sure she has someone to walk her to her car once she’s ready to go. It’s not his fault that they wind up walking a little bit past her car. It’s her hand that dips into his front pocket and retrieves his motel room key — her lips that drag along his throat, her hand that curls into his hair.

She kisses him goodbye the next morning. He isn’t sure how he feels about it, but her name plays on his mind through the morning and into the afternoon. Carrying with him through Idaho and into Oregon.

It’s a couple of days of that. Driving around, learning new names between thin motel sheets, forgetting them by sundown the next day.

Rhett’s mother always had it in her head that he was a womaniser. He isn’t sure where she got it from, considering that he didn’t have his first kiss until he already had his driver’s license.

The hard part is, Rhett hadn’t ever really known enough about himself to disagree with her. She raised him, saw the intricacies of his growing mind — if that’s what she said he was, then it must’ve been true. So, Rhett let it grow to be true.

He isn’t necessarily proud of it. But, he is somewhat proud of the manner in which he does it. He’s never resorted to a sleazy pick-up line or a bold-faced lie to get a woman into his bed. He’s quiet enough to be mysterious without being mysterious enough to be unapproachable. Handsome enough but not too put together.

It’s been four days since Rhett left Wyoming when he realises that yesterday, he had turned back around. He’s on the cusp of Montana, headed back the way he came.

He had stopped feeling the pull a day or so ago, because he had already turned back towards it. He’s pulled off to the side of Route 212 in the parking lot of a diner, his head in his hands.

This had been predicted. It had been Cecelia’s go to answer every time Rhett had threaten to leave. Go on then, I’ll be here when you get back. She hadn’t meant it with spite, but those words had always struck Rhett like venom. When you get back, because she was so confident that he would.

He hadn’t ever let her explain whether she thought that he’d be back because he belonged there or because she thought he just couldn’t make it on his own.

Either way, she’s wrong.

Rhett just needs a destination — an end goal. After five days of driving through the West, he feels scattered, and it’s just going to get worse. It was kind of stupid, to pack up and leave without anywhere to go.

That’s all he has to do — figure out where he’s going.

He grabs his baseball cap from beside him on the truck bench and secures it over his messy hair, leaving the truck in its space as he heads into the almost empty diner.

He takes a seat up by the counter and orders a coffee from the polite, young waitress standing behind the counter. He probably should eat too, he just can’t stand the thought of more diner food. It takes him a while, but he orders a sandwich finally. It’s the only thing on the menu that contains a vegetable and his body’s going to give out if it doesn’t get one of those soon.

With no one here now to tell him not to play with his food, Rhett sits distracted. Under fluorescent light, calm country playing over a radio in the kitchen, he takes his time to look around him as he picks at his sandwich.

There’s a pinboard that sits behind the counter. It’s partially blocked by the pale blue uniform shirt of the waitress as she texts on her phone, but Rhett can still see most of it.

Missing people, things for sale, help wanted signs — there’s a mixture of stuff on there. There’s a piece of yellow card that stands out. Ranch Hands Wanted. The Blue Mountain Ranch, MT.

It’s a stupider idea than driving aimlessly around the country, falling right back into what he’s running away from. Still, his mouth makes the decision before his head is on board.

“‘Scuse me,” Rhett’s voice gruff from not speaking much, he quietly clears his throat and brings his coffee cup closer to him. The waitress turns towards him and raises her eyebrows, a polite smile on her lips. “Could I see that notice, please?”

A quick glance behind her to see which one he’s talking about, and then she’s looking at him dubiously. Her smile grows with intrigue. Rhett swallows, watching as the unpins the yellow paper from the board and sets it down on the counter in front of him.

He turns his gaze down and starts to read through the desired skills. All stuff that he’s been doing since he was a kid. Herding cattle, fixing fences. Nothing new except the scenery.

“Thinking of joining the Mountain?” She asks. Rhett looks up at her over the brim of his baseball cap. She’s resting both hands on the counter and leaning forwards slightly, interested.

“Does that sound like a bad idea?” He asks in response, setting the paper down on the countertop beside his coffee. He leans back in his seat and parts his knees. She looks him up and down, pink lips quirking slightly at the edges.

Handsome guy like him, hands that are clearly used to some dirty work — Lena’s got a very good friend on that ranch that could do with a pick me up.

She gives her head a soft shake, “Actually, I think you’d fit right in.”

Rhett hums. He bites the inside of his cheek as he looks down at the printed information. Somewhere to lay low until he’s got a destination in mind doesn’t sound too bad. As long as he’s not back there, it doesn’t matter.

Perfectly Intoxicating (Pt.8)

What to Expect: Javier Peña X F!Reader. **SMUT WARNING (Minors do not interact - NSFW). EXTREME FLUFF & More Angst than other parts. Characters and their names have been added to create depth. Far off from the Narcos storyline/timelines at this point. Post Pablo Escobar's death. Pts 1-7 should be read to understand details within the story. Apologies for and errors with spelling/grammar/Spanish. No use to Y/N but physical descriptions/preferences (She is me and I am not sorry). Please Read at your own risk. I am not responsible for what you consume on the internet. Summary: We were working as an assistance to Peña and Murphy in Columbia. You started a casual relationship with Javier that leads to your pregnant with his baby. Sporadic Time Gaps Included in this Pt. Warnings/Mentions of: unprotected PIV sex, fingering, stimulation, orgasms, dirty talk, liquor, swearing, pet names, smoking, breeding k!nk Javi, pregnancy. Theme Song: Value - John Splithoff

A/N: WOW, finally the last official part of my series. (Part 9 will be the Epilogue). IM SORRY IT'S MOSTLY FLUFFY DOMESTIC JAVI BECAUSE IM STARVING FOR HIS LOVE. (The Epilogue will be the smuttiest of smut, the fluff, and a Steve and reader reunion - I promise). As this series comes to a close I want to say thank you so so much to all my readers. I have my new Javi series in the works and its going to be written a bit different, but I am so excited to share it. Join my Taglist All Parts will be in my Masterlist And all my FIPs list what I will be putting out next Enjoy!! and your comments and reblogs mean the world to me -g<33

“Javi!” You call out to him as you try to balance on your apartment couch. Your hand barely able to grab the photo hanging above it. Your one leg up on the arm of the couch as you look down at it, debating on trying to balance to get a better angle. Javier comes around the corner with your dish cloth over his shoulder, wiping his hands off on his jeans. “What are you doing, Cariño?” His eyes widening and coming to your assistance. He grabs your hand and helps you off the couch, soon replacing you and grabbing the photo from the wall.

He hands it to you and your mind replays the moment you brought it home. Your fingers tracing the outline of painted waves. Being the first item to help create the space as your own, now being the last item put away; nurtures the growing feeling of bitter sweetness.

You wrap up the last unpacked item in newspaper and put it in a box. “You should really stop trying to climb the entire place now,” he stands in front of you. “We don’t want to risk any accidents.” His hands come to your hips and move to the sides of your pregnant stomach. He gives you a delicate rub before his hands drift to the sides of your face. “That’s why I called you,” you look up at him with puppy eyes. You both smile and he places a soft and slow kiss to your lips.

You had reached the end of your term in Columbia and were now ending your fifth month of pregnancy. Everything had gone smoothly, aside from the baby doing gymnastics around 12AM every evening. You had spent the week packing up your apartment to have everything shipped to your moms in Miami.

You and Javi had booked a trip to Texas that required you to leave tomorrow, to visit Chucho for two weeks. Soon after, you two would be visiting your mom and moving into a rental that Javi found for you.

Just you… About Mexico…

After a few long nights of discussions, Javi had agreed to take on Mexico after he helped you settle into that rental in Miami.

There was a lot of crying leading up to the decision. Pregnancy hormones weren’t helping and made you more emotional than usual (which was already a lot). Javier was also back to smoking more regularly after trying to quit.

That night after you both found out about the reassignment to Mexico; you had given in to a looming breakdown. “I don’t understand why she would do this to us. I’m fucking pregnant for god’s sake!” You would sit with your back against the bath tub, similar to when you found out you were pregnant. Javier sitting beside you. Your emotions being driven by a replay of all the other agents you could overhear in the office, talking about how Mexico was even more dangerous than Columbia. “Is she trying to get you killed?” You would wail to Javi, puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. Your eyes trying to plead with his. Desperately wanting him to retract his acceptance of this new assignment, without you having to ask.

“I’m sorry baby, Im so, so sorry,” Javier sat with both his arms holding you, as you sobbed into his chest. He kept quiet just rubbing your back, as your cries would eventually die out. Until you were laying in his lap, staring into space. The truth was, Javier was devastated about all of it, too. He wasn’t even sure what to say. In the silence, his mind was running. Javi was trying to think of ways to ‘not fuck this up’. To fix it. To be able to have you and this family life - as well as the job. But he knew deep down that having everything would be impossible. There was always the chance that something like this could happen. That the job could separate you two some more. And what kind of life would that be for you? You, that had been so understanding. Always putting him first when he had first initially told you he would take it. You understood that he needed to do this. But you couldn’t help but feel like a second choice. Talking to yourself repeatedly. ‘What did you expect? you’ve only known the man 12 months and you’re going to have his baby. He could not drop everything for you.’

But as you laid in his lap on the bathroom floor, tears drying sticky against your face, eyes wide open you realized that you have never asked him. Never asked him to choose you as you didn’t want to feel too needy. But it was now or never. As much as you fought it the words slither out of your mouth in regret. “Does she not understand how much I’m going to need you?” you whisper to him, unemotional.

Javier’s rubbing stops and his face hardens at your words. He had been waiting months for you to say that.

He remembers after he got shot. How he wanted you to say you ‘needed him’. How hearing those few words would make him fight for this, for you. He helps you to sit up to look at him. “What did you just say, hermosa?” he asks, his eyes looking stunned into yours. You whimper as you pout. “Javi, I need you. Please don’t go.”

From that moment on, Javier changed. Even more than he already had. He had become very clingy and more loving than usual.

He tried to come up with a solution after your meltdown. He had agreed with the Admin to do Mexico if he was able to come back before the baby’s due date. The shortest time she agreed to was two months, then he could come home when you were moving into the last month of your pregnancy. As if the Administrator couldn’t be more punishing - he was forced into early retirement once the two months were to end. It was either Columbia, Mexico, or Retirement.

The discussion with you following this newfound decision resulted in Javier excitedly crafting up a plan to move in with you. He was relishing in the idea of taking on ‘full time dad.’ He had insisted on this, as much as you tried to be supportive of whatever he were to decide on. But the plan was set. You both were not pleased about his two month absence, but Javier tried to bring in the positive with 'At least it’s only two months, cariño.’

Things had gotten better, but you were still dreading those two months apart that were creeping right around the corner. You wouldn’t be getting any sleep, and neither would Javi. You both were constantly anxious about the distance and what that would entail for your relationship. Ever since Javi found out about the pregnancy, he had been spending every night curled up behind you. In your place or his. His arms holding you and the baby tightly. Barely getting any sleep (not like he did much already). Every shift you would make had his eyes fluttering open and his hands stroking your hot skin. As much as he tried to remain positive for you, the nervousness of not being able to protect you ate at him. Aside from the distance and loneliness, what kept you up most nights was that Javier would be forced into retiring from a job that had become his life. Everything he worked for. A job that had shaped the very person he was. All because you asked. You couldn’t help but feel a massive amount of guilt. Despite each of your concerns, he was constantly reassuring you that a new life was starting. A life of family. Something he couldn’t pass up on. The fuelling need for connection created a strong instinctive urge to protect you and this baby at all times. The feeling hovering over him like a dark cloud, waiting to pour heavy rain in a drought.

A rain that would wash away all the fucking bad things in his life. Give him a clean slate. “After all the death I’ve seen, I need this princesa.” He would murmur to you, before bed, every night since. After all, you needed him. He finally knew for sure now. Call him delusional for believing the rest would fall into place. That is if he could make it home to you, safely. __

“I called Pap yesterday, he’s really looking forward to seeing us.” Javi smiles at you as you walk into the kitchen to throw away some garbage. You just finished packing the last of your things. Leaving one box open for whatever needs to be thrown in last minute. He’s pushing around meat in a frying pan for dinner. You smile, exhausted. “You okay?” he asks. He knows your silence too well now. “Just have a headache,” you whine and shuffle over to him. You move into the nook of his side, resting your head between his chest and arm, you both watch the meat sizzle on the stove. He puts his arm around you, as he shifts the meat around with the spatula, rubbing your back lightly. “Well, you’ve been packing all day. Why don’t I finish this and run a bath before we eat, huh?” He asks, rubbing your arm. You nod, disassociated by the pounding in your head. After the meat cooks, Javi grabs your hand and you follow him to the bathroom. You sit on the edge of the bathtub while he gets the water running. You peel off your sweater revealing one of Javi’s casual white cotton t-shirts. Your belly pokes out of the bottom and he notices the light pink stretch marks that had creeped upwards towards your belly button.

He stares down at you for a minute, smiling and waiting for you adjust yourself. Your brows come together in annoyance at how increasingly worse the headache has become. He gets down on one knee and helps you pull off your sweat pants. Leaving you in nothing but your underwear and his t-shirt. His warm hands come over your covered belly and he leans in, giving the bump a gentle kiss. You sigh blissfully, a smile taking over your expression. Mainly because the warmth from his hands feels better than anything right now. Despite the changes to your body, you had grown more confident and happy with yourself. You had expected to feel the complete opposite. Shy and self conscious. But there was something about being the home for a baby that would be the best parts of both you and Javi; made you radiate. You were meant to do this. It also helped that Javi never let you forget how beautiful you are. Always so clingy, even in public. Not letting go of your hand anywhere, for any reason. Always helping you put your shoes on and had even insisted on stopping to buy you maternity wear, when everything over-sized stopped fitting. After all, this came as a second nature to Javier. You were having his baby, therefore he would do anything to make you the most comfortable. You would never have to ask.

You felt as though you were in a dream, waiting to wake up. Everything felt hazy and way too good to be true. The dream state would dissipate every once in a while. You would slip back into the present, remembering that you only had one month left together. Before being ripped apart by the assignment. Two months was too long. There wasn’t enough time with him in each day.

You hold your hands over his as he leaves them on your stomach. His chocolate brown eyes look softly up at you, a big smile plastered on his face. He’s waiting for his baby to kick. “Never does it when you want” you tell him, unable to contain your laughter at his childlike expression. “Sólo doce por la noche, eh? when your mama is trying to sleep,” he clicks his tongue in annoyance.

‘Only twelve at night.’ He had been speaking more Spanish to the baby lately. You thought it was the sweetest thing. Javier was already the best dad and the best boyfriend.

You were finally starting to believe it. That he needs this just as much as you do. You had an ultrasound appointment tomorrow before the flight to Texas. You both hadn’t decided if you wanted to find out the gender or not, but you had felt as though it was a boy. The idea of giving Javi a miniature version of himself, comforted you. He helps you into the bath with one hand. Your body twitching at the hot temperature. “Oh my god, Javi!” you hiss at him as you slowly go to sit. “What’s wrong?” he smirks. “I thought you could handle the heat?” His eyebrow raises as he tries to stifle a laugh. “Not when I’m already being used as an oven for your child.” You huff out a sarcastic chuckle as you manage to sit amongst the bubbles. He sits at the edge of the tub as you groan in pure contentment. “This feels so good,” your eyes flutter closed. Your headache still pounding into your temples.

Javi sits at the edge of bathtub looking down at you with hooded eyes. His hand dips down into the water and he splashes it lightly up to your exposed collarbones.

He’s always so attentive. It’s what makes you constantly want to give to him. In more ways than one.

You look at him through your lashes before you eyes fall to below his belt. His erection has grown evident against the restricting fabric.

He notices you eyeing him.

“You know what takes headaches away?” He teases, his hand moving lower down your chest.

He toys each overly sensitive nipple as your lips part. Every time he goes to touch you its like your whole body is lit on fire. It almost hurts how bad you ache for him.

The way he’s leaning over you has left him hovering above your face, both lustfully staring at one another.

“I think I know exactly what you’re referring to,” you exhale before coming up to smush your lips against his.

He stays playing with your breasts as your wet hand grips his face, the other coming to the bulge of his jeans.

The warm water soaking into him through his clothes makes him snicker against your lips.

“Someone’s needy,” he groans before kissing you again.

“And it’s only been what?” He pulls off you, to look at his watch.

“Less than 10 hours since I made you” He hesitates, as a smirk covers his lips. "shake, baby.” His deep voice has your heartbeat fall between your legs.

It’s true.

This morning Javi woke you up by eating you out. Which had been happening a lot lately.

“I know but,” you bite his bottom lip.

“I need you again, your fingers-” you drag out before inhaling him into another kiss.

Your palm subconsciously pushing against him harder in his jeans.

“Please Javi,” you pout up at him. There it was again - you saying that you needed him, followed by the prettiest ‘please’ to ever leave your lips.

The way you say his name while you’re begging, gets him kneeling beside the tub. His hand in the water, gliding over your stomach and landing between your legs.

The way you’ve both been kissing these past two months has been incredible. Enough to almost get you there on it’s own.

Slow, wet, and sensual.

He had started frantically sucking and biting at your lips and your neck more often too. Like he couldn’t get enough of you. You let his fingers do the work. In the water he’s still able to feel how ready you are for him. He teases your entrance before his fingers lift to rub your clit slowly. “Javi,” you breath out. “So wet already, hermosa.” He growls. He’s right. With all the changes happening to your body, it didn’t take much. This sensitivity of course, made Javi want you even more. He loved the way he could go for hours until you couldn’t take it anymore. Shaking and practically crawling away from him. He could not get enough and it exhausted you both. His index and middle finger slip inside as his thumb keeps rubbing. You shift in the bath, laying back as you watch him.

The way his cheek is still wet from the bath water on your hand. His jaw clenching and his lips parting slightly as he watches you squirm and moan for him. The way his bicep flexes as his fingers continue to pleasure you.

The vascularity of his arm is enough to almost send you over. Your brows push together and your mouth falls open.

His fingers curl up to find that soft spot that brings you sweet release. “Javi, I,” your eyes squeeze shut as you’re just about over the edge. He smirks, proud of himself. “You’ve been coming so fast, baby,” he huffs. His lips part further as he looks down at where his hand is between you, as though he can see through the layer of bubbles on the surface. The feel of you squeezing against his fingers makes his cock twitch as it grows harder. “That’s it,” he licks his lips. “Come for me,” he exhales. After a few more fast taps with the pads of his fingers, you finish. Letting out little yelps for him, followed by whimpers, as your hands come up to swipe over your face. He gives a few more teasing strokes between your folds as you flinch. “I can’t -I can’t,” you plead, prying his wrist out from between you. Javi pulls his hand out with a laugh and grabs the shampoo from the side of the tub. He’s been kneeling next to the jacuzzi tub. “Come here,” he motions for you to sit with your back to where he’s sitting. You slide over, still breathless. He squeezes the shampoo into his hands, lathering it into your scalp. His strong fingers giving you one of the best head massages known to man.

Your eyes flutter closed and you wonder how you got so lucky. Moments like this, had you convinced that Javier really was the most caring and compassionate man to walk this earth. You knew that relationships had been off the table for him for a long time. Javier had way too much love to give and too little time in his schedule. But you could tell he craved this. Craved the connection. His soapy hands come down to your neck and shoulders, rubbing all the tension out. The headache practically gone. Without even thinking, you let out a euphoric groan. He laughs in return. “That feel good, princesa?” he coos in your ear. You can’t even say anything in return, only little grateful hums. Then you ask him. “How have you managed to stay single?” You both laugh at how ridiculous and random that sounds. “What do you mean by that?” his hands working at the knots in your upper back. “You’ve just been so,” you stare at the blank bathroom wall. “Good to me.” He huffs out another laugh. “It makes me wonder how I’m the one lucky enough to receive all this.” There is a long silence as his thumbs lighten up in pressure, turning into a soothing stroke. Javi’s heart aches at the thought of no one treating you how you deserved.

“I’ve always been good to women,” his voice low. You don’t say anything, as there is an ounce of jealously pooling deep in your stomach. Thinking about all the woman Javi had given this treatment to before you. Rubbing their back, shampooing them. Sticking his fingers inside them and being with them so intimately, like he has been with you. “It’s never been about being good to a woman. It’s,” he starts, taking his time to get the words out exactly how he wants. “It’s been about the timing and the pain of loss.” His words burn your chest, making your heart ache for him. All this time Javier Peña has been scared to lose a partner. Exactly like you were scared, to be lost.

He had tried with Maria and failed. Soon after, trying to avoid the hurt by being alone and focusing on the only thing he felt good at - the job. Not realizing that the loneliness had been wounding him, just as bad.

He had confirmed your suspicions about his views on commitment. It being all too familiar, in a way that fuelled motivation inside you to get this right. It’s no wonder you both fit together so well. Two pieces of a puzzle, depraved of fitting together so effortlessly.

You turn your body to face him as he sits along the outside wall of the bath, your head full of shampoo. “So,” you place your hands over one another, laying your chin on them. Inches away from his face. “Are you afraid to lose me?” you look into his deep brown eyes, eyebrows raising in anticipation. He looks down into his lap, nervously smiling. His head lifting slightly and he looks through his brows at you. “More than you even know.” You watch as his eyes search your face. He’s waiting for some relief from the vulnerability he’s just exposed to you. You search his expression in return, sucking in your lips flat as you debate on saying it. But you do anyways. “I’m afraid to lose you too,” you whisper back. The definition more so meaning you don’t want to lose him by losing yourself. ___ After dinner, Javi helps you change into your new pyjamas and you both settle into bed. As his hand goes to wrap around you like every other night, you turn to face him instead. You both lay on your side, the ceiling fan circulating the cool air through your bedroom. His eyes trail down to your stomach, his hand lifting the side of the tank you’re wearing. His fingers lightly grazing over the vessel being used to create a little human. You watch as his face softens with the twitch of his eyebrows. “Do you want to know tomorrow?” he grumbles, stroking shapes into your warm skin. Your hand stops his, linking your fingers together. “I don’t know,” you huff, both staring at your intertwined hands. “Do you?” you ask him. His eyebrows raise in thought. “I don’t think that part is super important to me.” You both lay silent for a moment longer. You’re almost asleep before he speaks again. “A little girl,” he mumbles, his index finger running a soft line from the top of your bump, to your belly button. “You think?” You ask smiling, half asleep. He sits in his thoughts before speaking. “I like to think she’s like you,” He smirks. “Warm,” he looks at your face, pushing a strand of hair from your cheek. “Kind,” a kiss to your nose. “Selfless.” he finishes with a deep kiss to your lips. You continue to kiss slow, wrapping your legs up in one another, your belly grazing against his body. _____

The next morning you meet with Steve while Javier takes care of some last minute stuff in the office. “So, did you decide?” Steve asks. His blue eyes look up at you over his burrito he’s biting into. It’s like he hasn’t eaten in his entire life. You’re both at a food cart outside, sitting at a wooden picnic bench. He’s referring to the gender of the baby. Wanting to know if you and Javier had made a decision to find out at the appointment today. “We decided to wait,” you tell him, squinting because of the sun. He nods as he chews. “I mean, as long as the baby’s healthy, right?” He tells you, wiping his mouth on a napkin. You both finish your food and head back to the office. You’re officially done your contract so you wait for Javi at his desk. Both your luggage bags parked securely near his desk. “So I will take the liberty of shipping your stuff back to Miami,” Steve says, walking over with a pen and paper for you to write down your moms address. Steve had agreed to ship all of 5 boxes to Miami and your mom offered to pay for it with part of the money your father left her. His estate left enough to cushion her bank account, help you out if needed, and to pay off their large ocean front home. It was your type of dream home. She had always offered you to stay but you couldn’t imagine living with her for longer than a week. The two weeks visiting were going to be interesting, to say the least. Your mother could be a bit… much.

“Thanks so much Stevie,” you smile at him. Part of you was sad, leaving him in Columbia alone. You were going to miss him. He still had months to go out here, and he was losing Peña as a partner because of you.

He returns the gesture, as you stand in front of him. Sadness lingering behind his eyes. As much as he would never admit it, he was sad to lose you too. He would miss having someone to annoy him. His hand comes to the top of your head, messing with your hair. “Take care of yourself, yeah?” He winks at you, trying to hide the devastation. You watch him intently before throwing your arms around his waist. How did he think you would go without a goodbye hug. He immediately invites you in by snaking his arms around your back. Resting his chin down on the top of your head, before giving it a quick kiss. This was his goodbye. Just then Javier rounds the corner wearing a white button up with an open beige vest. His tight blue jeans hugging his legs, just like the first time you laid eyes on him. Your stomach flutters. He really was Intoxicating - Still is - Perfectly Intoxicating. He looks over at you, eyes curious. “Ready to go?” He asks. You nod and he shifts his gaze to Steve. Javi smiles at him, reaching his hand out to shake. Steve goes to return the action but Javi brings him in for a one arm hug instead. After a fast slap on the back he pulls away to look at Steve. “Will’ see ya again,” he reassures him. Steve looks down in awkwardness. After years of being Javier’s partner, he was wrapping up this chapter. But it didn’t mean they weren’t going to see each other again, this time as friends. “Yeah,” Steve sighs, fidgeting with the paper in his hands. “I’m sure you’ll need us to babysit in a couple years anyways.” He laughs. _____ The doctors appointment goes over well. Everything was just as normal as it could be. Even though this baby was testing your limits with constant cravings and the need to pee, it was healthy. And like Steve said, that’s all that matters. You both drive to the airport in silence. Javier has one hand gripping the wheel as the other holds up the sonogram. He stared at it intently with his amber coloured sunglasses on. A small smile pulling at his lips. “This is crazy,” he mumbles. Your heart warms as you watch him, wanting to remember this moment for the rest of your life. You smile as you sit to face him in the passenger seat. “Something to bring with you to Mexico.” The tone of your voice genuine but sad, making Javi’s head turn fast to look at you. He can see the genuine sorrow seeping out of your eyes at the thought of him leaving. He’s mad at himself for it. “I’m gonna have it on me at all times.” He affirms, setting the photo down in the cup holder and grabbing your leg. He gives you a reassuring squeeze to your thigh. “It’ll be my good luck charm.”

______ You both arrive in Texas after almost a 6 hour direct flight from Bogotá Your back is killing you.

Javier’s father Don Chucho had offered to pick you both up at the airport but with you being almost 6 months pregnant, Javier decided to rent a car. He didn’t want his father meeting you for the first time and also finding out about the baby - in an airport. The drive to the ranch was long and excruciating on your back. Javier had stopped multiple times along the way for you to use the gas station restroom, to get snacks, and for you to stretch. Soon, the city view out the window turned into a long stretch of dirt road. Long lengths of field on either side of the vehicle. Some with cows, others with horses. You smile at the view. The idea of little Javier growing up out here and being free from all the violence that was drug related crime; created a contentment that you wished for your own baby. The type of childhood you wished you could have had. As much as you felt bad about Javi retiring, you were selfishly happy that he wouldn’t be doing that kind of work anymore. He could be the type of father to your baby, that you never had. A mentally present one. You sigh at the thought. The long road takes a wide curve leading into a tree line and Javier gives your leg a squeeze. “We’re here.” The truck comes to a soft stop. You sit up in your seat as you stare at the large country home with scuffed white siding and a wrap around porch. The left side of the home is an octagon shape and with the truck window open you can hear the weather vane at the tip of its roof. The metal arrows clinking around in the light blow of the wind. It’s beautiful. You look around at the yard filled with farming machinery. A red barn behind the home and the distant neighs of horses carried by the breeze. A big smile creeping onto your face. You already love it here. Javi gets out of the truck you rented and walks over to your side. Your head sticks out the window, taking everything in. You’re mesmerized by how calm the air feels. “Javier!” you hear Don Chucho exclaim. You smile as you watch him waddle out the front door of the large house, sporting his white cowboy hat and thick moustache. His arms are open in a welcoming gesture, before he uses the old railing to help himself down from the porch onto the thick grass. You smile as you look him up and down. His grey hair neatly combed back in his hat. The colour matching his moustache that is significantly thicker than Javiers. He’s wearing similar sunglasses to his son and a blue long sleeve button up, rolled half way up his forearms. Blue jeans pulled over his dark brown cowboy boots. It’s like you’re staring at someone famous, considering everything you’ve heard about him. He walks to your side of the vehicle where Javi stands next to your door, nervous. You place your hand on his shoulder and he turns his head to face you, chewing on the inside of his bottom lip. Your touch instantly calms him. Giving him a reassuring nod before looking to Chucho. “No hug for your old man?” he grumbles to Javier. Smiling big with his arms spread wide. The wrinkles around his mouth when he looks over at you, suggest he’s lived a happy life. Aside from losing his wife.

“Hey Pap,” Javi walks slowly over to his dad and they engulf one another in a rough embrace. Chucho walks over to you and sticks his hand out to greet you. Your head lifts from resting on the edge of the open window and you reach your hand out to him in return. You give him a stern and confident handshake. “And you’re,” You cut him off to introduce yourself. “It’s nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you,” you smile, wide. Chucho looks to Javier as he grips your hand in both of his, giving you a pat. It’s like he’s giving Javier the eye - ‘I like this one.’ It instantly makes Javier smirk while looking down at his feet. “You have a beautiful place here,” you tell him, your eyes taking another scan of the property. Chucho lets go of your hand and places his hands on his hips, as he too looks around. You watch as so many of Javiers mannerisms come from his father. It makes you almost laugh. “Well, thank you darlin’.” He stares between you and Javi as silence fills the air. “Why don’t we get you outta’ that truck and inside, huh?” He asks reaching for the handle. Javier almost panics at the need to be cautious. He grabs the truck door from Chucho to slow it’s opening. Javier’s readiness to help you takes Chucho by surprise and he steps back. The door is open, blocking your body from Chucho as your sneakers hit the grass. The pain in your back makes you wince. “You okay?” Javi asks quietly, overly concerned with wide eyes. “Yeah,” you exhale. “I have to just grab my bag.” You turn back into the truck and Javier watches you intently. “Wow, you two are like a moth and a flame” Chucho grumbles out to Javier. He had never seen Javier so careful and attentive around a woman since Lorraine, or even his mother.

Javi looks sideways at his father, almost scolding him. Chucho lets out a raspy laugh at the annoyance in Javi’s expression. You turn back to face Javi, adjusting your shirt over your growing belly. He looks down at you and you give him a confident nod, ready for what’s about to come. Javier leads you by your hand, out from behind the truck door and slams it shut. You slowly move your eyes to Chucho’s face as his fall to your body and stop at your stomach. The silence is loud as Javi moves beside you and grabs your hand tight. “Pap, this is uh,” he stutters, scratching the back of his neck. “The reason we came here.” Chucho stays blinking at your baby bump for what seems like hours. Unable to say anything. Javi looks at you worried, he’s wondering if he’s broken his father. Chucho’s hesitant eyes look through his brows at Javier, then to you. When finally, he moves. He hobbles up to you, eyes back glued to your stomach. “May I?” his dark eyes look into yours, moustache twitching. You nod with a quiet, “Of course.” His old and worn hands come to your stomach as he stares down at it.

You can feel his warmth through your shirt as one hand moves from the side of your tummy to the top of it. A smile finally pulls at his lips as a little foot kicks his palm. Your eyes widen and you both can’t help but chuckle. The laughter pulls a relieved sigh out of Javier. It’s as if he’s been holding his breath waiting for his fathers reaction.

“Oh ya,” Chucho’s low voice vibrates through you. “That’s a baby Peña in there,” he looks back up at you through his grey brows. “A kicker just like it’s daddy.” ___

After a long tour of the house and farm area you finally sit at the edge of the bed, pulling your sore feet into your hands, giving them a quick massage. Javier closes the guest bedroom door and walks straight over to you. He gets on his knees in front of you, making you drop your leg back down. His face red as though he might combust. He looks at you intensely, creating worry in your reaction. “Javi, is everything,” He cuts you off by cupping your face in his hands gently, and kissing your lips soft. It lasts for a while. Tangling tongues and taking turns nipping at each others lips. He finally pulls away as you exhale onto him. The kiss was enough to flood your core with arousal . “What was that for?” You ask, breathless.

His nose drags across yours softly, as he smiles. “I’m just really, happy.” He’s almost giggling. You smile as your stomach flutters like it always has. You love happy and giggly Javier.

It also made him extremely horny.

“How’s your back?” he asks, forehead still pressed to yours as his arms fall to your sides. His fingers tracing shapes into your hips, enough to tickle you. Your eyes flutter shut as you breath out a response. “It’s alright. It’s more my feet now,” you moan at the feeling of his breath on your lips, and his fingers playing with the bare skin of your hips “Mmm,” he hums, his tongue swipes over his bottom lip. “Does my girl need a foot massage?” his eyebrow lifts slightly and you both inhale each other in another kiss. “Yes, please.” _______ Chucho insisted on you and Javier relaxing will he makes dinner. You both sit on the front porch swing, listening to cicadas and crickets singing all around the yard. You can hear Chucho banging around in the kitchen through a nearby open window. Even with the glow of the inside lights, it’s especially dark and you’re able to see every single star in the sky. If you could see them in Columbia, you had never taken the time to really look. Being here, aching feet being rubbed by Javi’s strong hands, was the best you had felt in a while. Even the smell of the air was different. “I love it here,” you hum with a dazed smile. Javi lets out a little laugh through his nose, looking at you before looking straight ahead at the property. “Yeah, it’s alright.” There is silence between you as you watch his extremely handsome side profile. His brows furrowing and his lips slightly parted like usual. “And your dad,” you start. Javier’s expression hardening at your words. “He seems nice.” You stare at your fingers as you pick at your thumbnail, nervously. “At least he handled the pregnancy better than my mom probably will.” You sigh, your words drifting off. Javi looks over at you, lifting your legs to move closer. Your knees pulled up into his chest, as you lay against the arm of the slightly rocking swing. A cozy blanket draped over you both. It was the first time you noticed that about Javier. He knew you so well already. The minute you were anxious; he would subconsciously move closer or touch you in some way to reassure. Instantly making you feel less alone and providing an unprecedented amount of support. It was something you had never experienced with any men that came before him. He made you feel…

Secure

No wonder why this time was so different already.

“My father is alright.” he looks down at where he rubs your legs in his lap. “He likes to do this thing called,” he looks over at you, raising an eyebrow. “Hold my past against me.”

You can’t help but let out a chuckle. “All parents are like that,” you sigh. Your fingers play with the blanket as you look up at the sky. “He probably just has regrets from what happened to your mother,” you start, hesitating. “And he’s projecting them onto you.” You both sit in silence for a couple minutes, Javi is back to zoning out at the land in front of him. “He probably doesn’t want you to have any regrets or mistakes or what ever the fuck he has,” you laugh at your inability to give any mind blowing advice. Javier looks over at you as you look back down at your hands. Your face radiates from the soft glow of the lights inside, your hair slightly blowing in the breeze created by the swing, wearing an agency zip up of his over your cute little baby bump. He’s never seen anything more naturally beautiful than you in this moment. And he realizes, he doesn’t have any regrets. He has lived in regret his whole life and look where it got him. Sick to death of his job, lonely, and unable to form deep connections. Then he met you. Where just sex became more than that. All because he had let you in a little bit more than all the others. This was the best he had felt since leaving Lorraine at that alter, over 10 years ago. All because he met you. Now you were giving him the best gift anyone could ever give him and he would spend his whole life thanking you for that. His full time job after Mexico would be creating the best life for his new little family and part of him couldn’t wait.

His hand reaches out to grab yours, intertwining your fingers with his. Your eyes meet. “I don’t think I have any regrets, anymore,” he coos softly, a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. You both stare, both awaiting your response. “Me either,” you reply bashfully. ___ Dinner had been so satiating, creating a tiredness in you like no other. You both said goodnight to Chucho after he had taken the liberty to plan an entire excursion for you and Javier, starting early tomorrow morning. He had mentioned a stream farther down the property that Javier used to hangout at when he was a little boy. You expressed interest in checking it out as Javi stayed unimpressed by his fathers antics. Chucho had then discussed the horses with you. If you knew how to ride them, if you felt comfortable on horse back at 6 months pregnant. “I used to ride all the time. My mom would take me back in Miami.” You would tell the old man. He turned to Javier, giving him an approving grin. “And as long as it’s a slow walk, my bladder should be okay with it.” So it was settled. Chucho would ready the horses in the morning and give you and Javier some food to take with. Spending the day on a soft blanket near the rushing stream, with nothing to do. No deadlines, no cartels, and no gunshots, and no mexico pulling him away from you. The thought alone, was enough to spark desire you never knew existed. You both needed that. Javier had actually agreed. He too, wanted to be close to you with zero interruptions. You both lay in bed in your usual position. His body pressed up against your back. No clothing on either of you, since the house was 100 degrees all year round, and you both ran hot in your sleep. As the back of your body molded into Javier, he kissed your bare shoulder in front of him. Goosebumps rose onto your skin, making him do it again. This time nibbling up to your neck. You don’t oblige, practically still wet from that kiss earlier. Javier’s warm hands wrap around to your stomach, and you lay yours on top of his. His hips rocking into your back side, his soft cock growing hard at the need to have you covering him. His hands leave your stomach and reach up to your breast, twisting and pinching softly at your nipple. Arousal leaks out of you at only the sensation his soft hands create.

He loves that he doesn’t have to do much, for you to turn into a puddle for him lately. His hand leaves your chest for a minute and you can feel his cock slipping through your legs and between your folds. Continuing to rock himself against you. The bed slightly squeaks, making him stop his movements in paranoia before continuing slowly. He teases you, his cock dragging up and down against your dripping heat, wetting him. You turn your head back as far as it will go and he meets you half way. Giving you an extremely slow kiss. Your lips on each other is the only sound filling the room. The intimacy of the darkness and the silence, is something you hadn’t yet experienced with Javier. You had always been able to see each other. This time the room was pitch black and neither of you were saying anything. “You have to stay quiet, querida.” His breath so hot in your ear, making your hips rock back again, gliding the tip of his cock to tickle your sensitive bundle of nerves. “Can you do that?” He asks, before kissing that spot below your ear. “Mhmm,” you breath out while nodding, impatient. You try to stop your hips from rocking faster into him. As they come back to meet his again, his cock slides into you with no contest. As you absorb his full length, you can’t help almost moaning. The way he’s hitting your g-spot in this position has your clit throbbing to be stimulated. You should’ve known by now with Javier, you don’t have to utter the words. His hand comes around to your front and snakes under your belly. His big hand spreading you open, as he rubs circles just where you need with his two fingers. You both had always been so good at reading each others minds, especially when it came to sex.

You really were two puzzle pieces. The thought of sex like this for potentially the rest of your life, had you whine out in pleasure. Javier lets out a satisfied whisper. “That’s it,” he coos. “Just like that.” His lips parting more. He practically whimpers against your back as your hips rock into his, pulling his member in and out of you so easily. He slows his pace as his lips graze against your shoulder, his hand leaving your clit to interlace his fingers with yours. “huh- oh my-god,” he pants quietly into the back of your neck, his hips rocking to meet yours over and over. You both elicit barely any sounds. Only the faint wetness of you dripping all over him, both chasing your finish. Javiers hand comes to your face, bending it back to him. He kisses you again, slow and sloppy. Moaning into each other’s mouthes. He doesn’t speed up but his hips snap harder into you. The tip of his cock molding that soft spot inside you, just for him. “Look at you,” he breaths against your mouth. “Doing such a good job for me,” he grumbles out, his voice quiet enough not to form any suspicion. The praise is enough to send you into your impending orgasm. His looming shortly behind yours. “Anything for you, Javi” you breath before squeezing your eyes shut and your mouth falling open. Javier’s hand instinctively comes up to your mouth, covering it with his fingers. He’s unsure if you’re able to keep your pleasure inaudible and he wants to be extra careful. You obey his ask though. No sounds leaving your lips, as your teeth lightly graze his fingers. This alone set’s him off, his hips digging deeper into you on each thrust, becoming messy. Javi’s hand falls from your mouth to your chest, squeezing your breast hard. The sound of his soft and needy whimpers fill the room. You try to steady your breathing without loud pants and your hand comes up to reach the back of his head. Your fingers grip into his messy brown bedhead, pulling him closer into the side of your face. His awaiting release finally erupts inside you. The familiar warmth of his come filling you up, his length twitching as you grip it hard. You both stay in this position, trying to quietly catch your breath. His lips kiss your cheek softly, before nestling into your ear. “If you weren’t already pregnant,” he pants. “that would have definitely put a baby in you.” His words give you chills, everywhere. You had never expected Javi to be so turned on by the idea of breeding you. You couldn’t begin to imagine what your future held after this first pregnancy would be over.

If this relationship didn’t change in any way, and you both kept up like this; having more kids with Javier didn’t totally freak you out. What did, was thinking about the way you saw commitment 12 months ago, compared to now. This was another thought simply provoked by this moment. How could you be so afraid but so ready and willing when it came to a life with Javier. I guess your mother was right when she told you ‘it just takes the right person.’

_______

Your eyes flutter open to bright sunlight casting through the sheer curtains of the guest room. You lay on your side, blinking the sleep from your eyes and slowly sitting up. Aside from you, the big bed is empty and silence fills your ears. You smile at the peacefulness. It’s nothing compared to the odd sounds of gunshots and busy traffic in Columbia. It was also the first time that you had awoken by yourself since Javi had been sleeping with you. It seemed he felt safe enough here on the ranch, to leave you sleeping alone. You get up and shakily slide on a pair of shorts and baggy t-shirt. Throwing your messy bed head in a scrunchie on top of your head. After brushing your teeth and performing the rest of your morning routine, you climb down the stairs to an empty living space. You walk to the kitchen where there is a bowl of fresh fruit on the counter. You pick at it when your attention is grasped by the sounds of horses in the distance. Peering out the open kitchen window you can see movement near the barn. Without putting on shoes, you leave through the back door and down the stairs of the porch. Your feet hit the thick soft grass and you smile to yourself. The sensation below your toes making you sigh in inexplainable comfort.

You walk carefully to the side of the barn where you can hear Javi and his father through the crack in the door. You’re about to open it, but their conversation makes you stop and listen.

“You can’t run from this one, son” Chucho tells Javier as he digs into a feed pale. “I’m not running.” Javi cuts him off bluntly. Your eyebrows furrow together in confusion, heart beating loud in your ears. Chucho turns to Javier, staring at him for a few seconds. “What?” Javi asks, frustrated already. “That’s what you said last time.” ‘last time’? Your chest tightens. “Yeah, well last time was different,” Javier groans. “Lorraine wasn’t much different,” Chucho huffs as he wanders the barn. “She wasn’t pregnant, but she was still a good person and you ran.” “I ran because it wasn’t right!” Javi snaps at him, cutting his father off. There is a heavy silence and your eyes dart back and forth between them. They both still haven’t realized that you’re standing behind the crack of the door. “You hold these things against me Pap,” Javi’s voice softens. “Like I can’t make mistakes.” He huffs in defeat. “That was over ten years ago.”

Chucho’s mouth twitches as his stern eyes don’t leave his sons. He walks over to Javier slowly, dropping his hand to Javi’s shoulder. “All I’m tryna’ say is that,” he licks his lips. “I know you son, you’ll get lost chasing murderers in Mexico. You’ll get your priorities messed up again and,” Your heart beat in your ears has become so deafening that you have to take deep breaths to continue listening. “And what, hmm?” Javi taunts him. “You think I’ll walk away from my family?” family?

Chucho’s hand slowly falls from his shoulder. “I just don’t want you to have any regrets,” he sighs. “Like you have regrets about Ma?” Javi deflects. Chucho’s nostrils flare. “I did all that I could for your mother.” He growls at Javier. “Just like I’m going to do whatever I can for her.” Javi barks back at him. Don Chucho doesn’t reply. His hand reaches up to Javier’s face and pats him gently. “Okay.” He forfeits. Chucho exits the barn out the other door and you watch Javier stand at the stall of a dark brown horse. He grumbles under his breath, something in Spanish. His arms stretch against the stall in front of the horse and it rubs its nose against his shoulder. He pats its face. “I know, I know.” he murmurs to him. The sliding of the door where you’re standing, takes him off guard. He turns to look at you, face flushing a deep red. “Hey, I didn’t know you were standing there.” He tries to smile off the awkwardness of you possibly overhearing everything. “Who’s Lorraine?” you ask, flatly. Your heart still beating. Javi pauses, looks around the barn before walking over to you. “She’s a,” he hesitates again, clearing his throat. “A friend of mine I was supposed to marry over ten years ago.” Your breath hitches. Not in jealously, but rather in sadness for them both. “And what happened?” you ask him, eyes wide in curiosity. “I left to join the Columbian DEA, but I,” he hesitates again, unable to look at you. “I left her at the alter.”

His words burn in the back of your throat.

“And my father, well,” his dark brown eyes look up at you through his brows. “He thinks when I leave to Mexico, I will be making the same mistake.” “And will you?” You cut him off, tears welling into your eyes. Not for the purpose that you believe he will but for the purpose that he’s done it before, and the idea of him doing it to you coils your stomach in anger. “Are you kidding me?” he pleads, walking over to you. He stands directly in front of you, taking your hands in his. “Everything I’ve decided has been with you in mind. Everything I’m doing is for you, for us.” Your eyes squint shut in pain and you pull your hands from his to wipe your eyes before the tears roll. “Javi, I don’t.” you start, sucking in a shaky breath. “I want you to want this.”

“And who said I don’t?” he looks at you confused. “I know but,” you whine, looking around the barn before back at him. “I don’t want you to make all these decisions for me, for us, because you feel obligated.” Your hand falls to the top of your belly. Here it comes. The ‘doubt’ word vomit.

“I don’t want you to forfeit any part of your life for this.” His hands come to your arms, trying to cut you off without words. “I just don’t want you to regret choosing-,” “Stop,” he cuts you off. You look at him with desperate eyes. Hoping he can see the sincerity behind all your guilt. That you didn’t want him to regret choosing this life with you. “I told you,” he starts, softly. “I don’t have any regrets.” You both huff out a smile and there is another wave of silence as he strokes your arms.

“You have to stop that, ya’know.” His thumb coming to your cheek to wipe a tear that managed to escape. “Stop what?” you laugh pathetically as you look down at where he’s now holding your hands.

There is a quick pause before he continues. “Stop thinking you’re not worthy of this kind of love.”

love?

Your heart beat begins to quicken again and your exhales become so deep it feels like a punch in the chest. You both don’t know what to say next, as you search his expression for an ounce of denial. But there is nothing. No retraction or reversal visible on his face. He really meant it. “So this is,” you start. “We don’t have to say it yet,” he cuts you off. Not for the reason he doesn’t believe it, but for the reason that he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. He knows you’re not there yet.

A grin tugs at your cheeks and you nod in agreement. “Now, I think we should get to our picnic date, huh?” he smiles, taking your hand and leading you through the barn.

____________________

The two weeks at the ranch flew by effortlessly and before you know it, you’re getting on another flight. This time to Miami. Your anxiety rising in your gut like a cauldron boiling over. Eyes darting all over the busy airport. Javi stands with you in the boarding line for the plane, as you chew your lip and twiddle your thumbs. He looks down at you, grabbing your hand to make you stop. “It’s going to be okay,” he mumbles to you, giving you a reassuring wink. You look at him before looking around again. “You don’t know my mother.”

The rental car pulls up a rocky driveway surrounded by sand and thick green hedge. Two big stone pillars highlighting the entrance to the large, modern, stone home. You both exit the vehicle and your eyes close in bliss at the salty smell of the air. The sounds of the roaring waves behind the house bring you comfort amongst all the distress you’ve been feeling, your entire drive here. “Wow,” Javier’s words cut off your daydream. “This is,” You look over at him, as he eyes the big house. Smiling and lifting an eyebrow, you respond. “Isn’t it?”

You get the urge to skip into the home that you grew up in. You haven’t been back in a while and you forgot how much you missed it’s nostalgia.

Just then, you remember the biggest thing stopping you from running in to greet your over bearing mother. The visible baby bump. Your eyes glaze over in immediate regret, regarding being back home. “Javi, I don’t think I can.” Your voice shakes as he rounds the car to come in front of you. His eyes widen with concern. “Listen,” he licks his lips as his hands hold yours. “If it gets bad, we can leave. I can book us a hotel,” he rambles. “We don’t have to stay here if you’re uncomfortable.” There is it again, the never ending, unprecedented amount of support.

It instantly calms you, giving you the courage to get the initial reaction over with. Somehow, you end up at the front door, knocking lightly to hear a response in return. “It’s open!”

You take a deep breath before twisting the handle open. Seeing your mother with her back turned to the modern beige coloured kitchen, cutting a fresh pineapple on the large island in front of her.

Immediately you think how you should have called. You should have told her when you found out. You should have told her when you phoned her to tell her you would be bringing your handsome, Spanish, DEA agent, boyfriend of 10 months to see her. She’s going to be pissed.

Javi can sense your tension and he steps in front of you, a large smile plastered across his face, putting on a show for her. “Hola, Preciosa!” he beams at her. A large smile spreads across her face as she rinses her hands and heads straight for him. “You must be Javier Peña!” she gloats. Her arms draw out into a hug gesture and Javi doesn’t waste any time. He throws his arms around her and rocks her side to side. He’s doing a good job taking the attention off you. Bless his fucking soul.

“What did you call me?” she smiles at him. The energy between them surprises you. So natural and like they’ve known each other for years.

“Hello gorgeous.” he translates for her. Her cheeks heat as she steps away from him. “Well if you’re trying to make a great first impression, it’s working.” She playfully smacks his shoulder before her expression becomes more serious. “It’s very nice to meet you, Javier.” “Same to you,” he cups her hand in his. Similar to how his father did yours.

Javi gently steps back to stand beside you instead of in front of you. His arm wrapping around your shoulder as your mother takes a moment to look at you, finally realizing. Her face falls from ecstatic to unimpressed. Her nostrils flare as her eyes quickly shift from your stomach back to your face.

“I see you’ve been busy.” Her attitude harsh and her arms cross over her chest.

There it is. Turning from soft and kind to cold, dissociative, and manic.

“It’s nice to see you too, mom.” you mumble out, embarrassed. She’s always looked at you like you’re on display. Making you extremely uncomfortable. Her eyes slightly roll as she turns her back to you both and walks back to the kitchen.

Without so much as a hug.

Javi awkwardly stands beside you, his smile fading when he realizes that you were right about your mother all along.

He clears his throat with a cough before he goes to speak. You grab his arm before he can say anything. Your mothers eyes look at you both through furrowed brows, as she continues to cut the pineapple. “You know where the guest room is.” she snaps, the knife ending the interaction with a hard slam to the cutting board. You scoff and grab your luggage, dragging Javi by the arm down the hall. As soon as the door closes your eyes well up into tears. “See,” you sob. “I told you,” you frantically pace as Javi sits on the edge of the bed. As always he’s trying to figure out a way to make it all better. “We shouldn’t have come.” You sniff, trying to pocket the tears. He stands to his feet, walking over to you slowly. His hand on your shoulder makes you grasp at him in a tight hug as you let a few cries out. “How am I going to do this Javi?” you ask, looking up at him with pain in those big, beautiful eyes. It makes his heart ache. “How am I going to do these next two months if my mother won’t support me. I will be all,” you words drift as your eyes fall shut. “Alone.” He doesn’t say anything. Only brings you to the bed and holds you while you cry.

Before you know it, he’s lulled you to sleep. ____ Javier opens the door slowly, careful not to disturb you as you snore peacefully.

Hours have passed and the sun was now setting against the ocean. The deep orange colour lights up the entire home as all the windows hang open. The sound of seagulls and waves are all he can hear, as he searches for your mother. He reaches the kitchen where the open sliding door reveals her on the deck, hunched over as she holds a cup of hot tea and a cigarette.

He swipes a nervous hand through his hair as he slides the screen door open, getting her full attention. She looks over at him blankly, before turning back to the view of the wide spread ocean in front of her. Javi walks over slowly, taking a seat in the padded outdoor chair beside the small couch she is seated on. They sit in silence for a short time before your mother places the mug down on the coffee table. They both stare off in different directions. “Do you mind?” Javi asks, pointing to the pack of cigarettes on the table. Your mother pushes them towards him with the lighter. Javi lights a drag and inhales the smoke like he’s been deprived his whole life. “She’s not going to be able to do this,” you mother cuts him off. Her eyes drift over to Javi’s as she squints at him. They sit making eye contact for a while before he clears his throat and leans forward, looking away for a moment. “What makes you think that?” he asks her, his tone gruff.

She huffs out a sarcastic laugh and takes a puff of the cigarette laying limp between her fingers. “Because she likes to run from everything.” her voice is dry, emotionless, and it makes Javier’s blood boil. His nostrils flare as he takes a deep inhale. His body slumps back into the chair and his arms cross over his chest. Your mother watches his body stiffen as she positions herself sideways to face him. “You don’t know her like I do,” she tells him. Smirking as her lips meet her mug. “And what is it that you know?” he asks again, in a tone similar to an interrogation. “She was with her ex for four years, it was a good relationship and she.” “Was it good though?” he cuts her off, almost snapping. She stops and her head tilts to glare at him in disbelief, as he shifts in his seat again. “With all due respect, ma’am.” He starts, changing to a softer tone. “Your daughter is the most calculated, thoughtful, compassionate, and selfless woman I have ever had the honour of getting to know.” Your mother’s face falls soft. “And as far as Ive gathered, there was a lot that was wrong in her last relationship. From what I know,” his eyes burn into hers. “She was expected to fill some pretty big shoes.” He leaves room for your mother to interject, but she doesn’t. “She considered everyone’s feelings, except her own and that’s why she ran.”

He takes another puff of his cigarette, blowing the smoke as he continues. His hand reaches out to her leg, her eyes watching carefully. “Excuse me for seeming out of line but, I think it’s time that we consider her feelings,” he treads carefully. “That means believing in her, and supporting her. Even if you think it’s not right.” “And do you think it’s not right?” She asks him, her eyes narrowing into his. He watches her expression and his hand comes back into his own lap. His tongue sweeps across his top lip and his fingers run quickly across his moustache. He looks around as though to check if anyone is around to hear his response. “I think she’s old enough to make her own decisions and it would help to have support from those that are supposed to love her.” His response is cold towards her. He’s trying to draw her attention to acknowledging his words, rather than looking for validity in her skepticism. She sits in silence, her eyes adverting back to the ocean, shifting in her seat. He watches her through furrowed brows as her expression softens. His eyes fall to his lap in front of him. “And to answer your question, I will always think she’s doing the right thing.” He taps his cigarette before placing it back to his lips. “I have never tried to change her. I want her for exactly who she is.” He stands to his feet and removes his socks. Throwing them onto the deck before climbing down the stairs and onto the sand, ending the conversation. Your mother watches him as he wanders out to where the waves crash against the sand. His arms fold against his chest, as he walks the shore line. “Mom?” you mumble shortly after, rubbing your swollen eyes as you stand in the back door way. Your mothers hard expression dissolves, as though everything Javi had just said to her, finally sinks in when she sees you standing there. Her baby girl, pregnant and all. “What’s up my darling?” She coos. You step out onto the cold wood of the deck and look around. “Where’s Javi?” you ask her. Sleep still lingering in your voice. You watch as she points straight ahead to a figure in the distance, he’s pacing against the shore, his pants rolled up and feet submerged in the wet mixture of sand and ocean. She looks back at you as she watches you stare at him. A smile curving onto your lips and a sparkle in your eyes that she hasn’t seen before. It creates a small smile from her as she waits for you to break the silence. Instead you pull off your socks and almost run to meet him. Your mother watches as you reach out to touch Javier’s arm and he turns to look at you, his expression melting into a consoling grin when he realizes it’s you. His arm immediately pulls you into him and he places kisses to your face. Drowning you in little pecks as you try to pull away, giggling. Your mothers smile spreads larger as she watches you both, now running around on the beach. Javi sticks out his arms and stands as though he’s going to race towards you. You laugh, standing feet away from him with your hands out in front of you. Through the wind she hears you whine out “Javi, Don’t!”

Your mother stands, moving to lean against the railing of the deck as she watches.

Javi darts towards you and you let out a playful shriek. His arms encompass you in a big hug from behind and he squeezes you tight. His head turning to kiss your cheeks some more. You smile with all your teeth and your mother watches you intently, almost laughing with you. Maybe Javier had a point. Maybe this was the right thing. ____________ Days go by with your mother and Javi. There was a shift in her energy since the initial introduction. You didn’t know what brought it on but you were happy to no longer be the centre of all her malice.

Her and Javi had created a bond as well. Spending time in the kitchen as she showed him how to make 'signature dishes’ that she claimed were your favourite. You all spent late nights in the living room, combing through boxes of your baby stuff. Your mother watching as you and Javier lit up, finding little baby shoes and overalls. “Those your father got for you,” she would say, pointing to a small pair of grey New Balance sneakers, so small that they fit in Javier’s palm.

Hearing her talk about your father was like a stab in the stomach. Despite all the bad things, you still thought about him almost every day. He would have made a great grandpa. “He had good taste,” Javi pulls you from your thoughts. You sit between Javi’s legs on the floor, as he sits on the couch. He leans, hunched over your shoulder as you go through the big brown box in your lap. Your hands gently pull out a photo album and your breath hitches. Your fingers shake as you open the cover to reveal a photo of you as a newborn. Your mother now in the kitchen, pouring herself and Javi a drink. She wanders back into the living room and sits on the chair across from you both, another box in front of her. “Your baby book,” she tips her glass to point at the album you’re flipping though. You scan the pages to reveal a lock of hair in a plastic bag, a tiny hospital bracelet with the words almost smudged off from being so old, and an array of photographs. The next page you turn to makes you hold in your breath. It was a photo of your dad. Your tiny baby body laying stomach down along his forearm, as he held your tiny face in his large hand. Your eyes fill with tears as you stare at his smiling face.

The silence is thick and Javi places his warm hand on your shoulder. “That was his favourite thing to do with you,” your mother’s voice softly breaks the silence. “You would be crying and he would flip you to lay on him like that, and boom,” she huffed out a laugh. “Silence.”

You sniff out a giggle, wiping the tears from the side of your face.

“Meanwhile,” she starts again, sipping from her drink and placing it on the table beside her chair. “I had to damn near shake you.” Both you and Javi let out a breathy laugh. You hand the open book to Javi, as you continue to explore the box below you. He takes the book gently, placing the open page in his lap. His eyes look at your father, down to little you, then down to you between his legs. A grin pulls at his lips as he imagines what fatherhood will be like for him. Thinking about recreating this picture with your baby.

later the next day, you wake up late, to the sound of a cordless drill. As you stumble out of the bedroom and down the hall, you see Javier drilling a white shelf to the wall in the dining room. “Good Morning, sleepy head.” He grins. You cover your face with your hands, opening your fingers to peak an eye at him. “What the fuck are you doing?” you grumble. “Language young lady,” your mom jokes, rounding the corner with two glasses of lemonade. “You don’t want your baby adopting that potty mouth,” she places the drinks on the table and Javi puts the drill down to take a long chug of the fresh liquid. “Javier here, has volunteered to hang these shelves I’ve had for years and never hung.” She sings, pulling out a dining chair to sit down. Her legs overlapping on another, as she watches him. You look between them, eyebrows furrowing. “Get dressed,” she orders you. You stay still, staring at her blankly. “Go on! I have a list of things I need you to pick up from the market,” she shoos you back to the bedroom. Your hands stroke over your six months pregnant stomach dramatically as Javi stands with his hands on his hips, chuckling as he watches you. “Oh, Im so sorry,” you tease. “Im so pregnant, I think I might burst, I don’t think I can go to the market today.” You whine out, trying not to laugh at yourself. Your mother rolls her eyes at your obvious jokes and shoos you away with one last gesture of her hand. _____ ‘Tomatoes - check Lettuce - check Cucumber - check

Lemons - check Olive Oil’ She’s making a salad with vinaigrette dressing, you think to yourself as you search the shelves. Your stomach churns in hunger at the idea of a fresh salad. ‘Settle down, just gotta find the oil and we’ll be eating soon.’

Your hand caresses your growing bump. You push the cart as your body is turned to face the isle. So many fucking oils to chose from.

Just as you spot the olive oil you’ve seen in your mother cupboard before, a familiar face passes you. Your eyes meet his and you smile when you realize.

Martinez

He smiles and says ‘hey’ followed by your name. The woman with him stops as he does and her expression is confused. You step away from your cart to go give him a friendly hug when his eyes fall to your stomach. Despite being shocked, he returns the small hug and introduces you to his ‘girlfriend’ Emily. “Nice to meet you,” you return to her with a kind smile. Immediately he stares back your stomach and you both speak simultaneously. “Peña’s.” His coming out more as a question, while yours is a statement. You both awkwardly smile and nod before you speak again. “So what are you doing in Miami?” you ask him, placing your hands on your hips. His eyes widen and he bashfully smiles. “After that last incident I uh,” he hesitates, licking his lips. Emily grabs onto his bicep, urging him to continue. “I got a promotion to be the lead Admin for Miami’s recruitment agency.” Your stomach burns with acid as you remember the last time you spoke to Martinez. He had outed your relationship with Javi to the Columbian Admin. He almost had you sent home. He’s partially to blame for Javiers suspension. Now, he was running Miami’s recruitment agency for DEA agents, while Javi - who had done the most work to catch Escobar - was stuck with an assignment to Mexico?

Your face heats up as your expression falls. You want to punch Martinez in the fucking face, but you bite your tongue. There is weighted silence before he quickly changes the subject, sensing your anger. “What about you?” He asks. Your teeth run rapidly against your tongue before you sprout a fake smile. “Yeah, uh,” your head is spinning. Making it hard for you to even concentrate on his question. “I’m transferring to the Miami agency as an assistant.” He looks down at your stomach again, almost demanding an explanation. “Javier is uh, heading to Mexico on an assignment.” “While you’re pregnant?” He cuts you off, brows furrowing together in confusion.

“Yep,” you try to grin but he can see the pain in your expression. “He asked for a transfer to Miami and the Admin had agreed to Mexico, Columbia, or retirement.” You finish. Your eyes don’t move from his as he searches your face and down to your frame. “That’s - ridiculous.” He almost whispers. His eyes look back to yours with genuine hurt. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen this side of Martinez. “She’s going to force him into retirement because he’s having a baby?” He re-confirms. The reminder sends painful zaps of electricity through your body. It’s something you’ve been putting off for the last four weeks, and talking to Martinez served as nothing but a wake up call to your harsh, impending reality. “That’s basically it, yeah.” you sigh. “I should, probably head back though,” You smile, grabbing the last item on your list and placing it in the cart. “Of course,” he half smiles, pain still in his expression. As nice as it was to see him being genuine to you, you still couldn’t stand the pity. When you get back, seeing Javi smiling and laughing with your mother makes you keep your mouth shut. You can’t bring yourself to tell him how great everything was working out for fucking Martinez. You just wanted to forget even running into him in the first place. ________ And just like that, the two weeks with your mother come to an end. Your boxes that Steve shipped from Columbia arrived within your last week and you watch as Javi packs them into your rental car.

Your mother stands at the front steps facing you. Her hands cup the sides of your cheeks as she stares at your face. For some reason, you feel awkward. She has hardly ever been this way with you. Not since you were a little girl. “Thank you for having us,” you grin.

She pushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear as Javi makes his way to the front steps. Your eyes narrow into your mothers as her face molds into a delicate smile. “You’re going to be a great mom,” she almost whispers. Tears welling into her waterline. You haven’t seen her cry since she found out about your dad’s affair. Seeing her like that immediately heats your cheeks and creates your own tears - for the millionth time this month. “Mom, I.” You can’t even finish your sentence before she pulls you into her. Embracing you so tight. This was the first time in years since she had given you a sincere compliment. Her lips kiss your cheek fast and hard and she whispers in your ear. “You call me if you need anything, okay?” You finally pull away and your fingers push the tears away before they fall. You nod to her and turn your attention to Javi who stands below you, watching with a smile on his face. You had no idea that this interaction with your mother had been because of him and he went on never disclosing that to you. Your mother sniffs away her tears and sticks her arms out to him.

“Javier,” she mumbles, overly emotional. They share a tight hug before he pulls back and kisses her hand in his. “We’ll see you soon, huh?” he asks, giving her a quick wink. She nods as she watches you both drive off the property and towards the city. _________________

Things around the rental grow tense as you’re two days away from Javier’s departure to Mexico. You both tread carefully around one another. Almost unnatural.

And you hate it. That night you rub lotion on your belly, sitting up in bed as Javier exits the bathroom, shirtless after brushing his teeth. You watch his golden skin in the dim light of your bedside lamp, as he sits along the edge of the bed. Your eyes trace into the curves of his back as he stares at the pack of cigarettes on his side table. He hasn’t been smoking inside or around you, always sneaking outside to do it. Too concerned for how the inhalation could affect you or his baby. You shift as you watch his fingers tap the surface of the sheets, fantasizing about those hands. It’s been since the ranch. Too long. You set aside the bottle of lotion and crawl over to him, placing little soft kisses along his shoulder to the back of his neck.

fuck, he smells so good.

“What’s up, cariño?” he asks, his head twisted to look at you, his eyebrow raising. “What do you mean ‘what’s up?’ can’t I just kiss my boyfriend?” you tease him. His eyes close and he huffs out a laugh. You grab his hand and he shifts to sit facing you. You place his hand to your chest where your heart beats softly. Javi looks at you with hooded eyes, before looking down at where you’ve placed his palm. You both sit in silence before he croaks out. “I don’t want to go.” The words are so simple, yet so desperate. It was like this whole time, he thought he could be strong.

“I know,” you mumble softly. “I don’t want you to go either.”

His hand moves from your chest to your cheek. His thumb caressing your warm skin before he leans in. He plants a soft and slow kiss to your lips. His eyes opening to look at you. The difference between his suspension leave and these two months in Mexico was the elephant in the room; the fact that he could die out there. Both of you too nervous to even speak about that. “I know that we haven’t known each other that long,” he starts. By the direction he’s going, you know what he’s leaning towards. “But I don’t want to leave without telling you that I,” Your heart starts to pick up it’s pace and your mouth parts. “Javi, don’t.” You cut him off. His face falls before you have a chance to continue. “No, I just mean,” you giggle to yourself. Your hand reaching up to grab his from your cheek. “I don’t want you to say it because you’re leaving.” Your big doe eyes look into his and a montage plays out in his head. Back to the first time he saw you. How you got that pebble stuck in those heels you always wore. How excited you were about that jacuzzi bathtub in your apartment, the first time he fell asleep next to you and how that’s all he ever thought about. If he only knew then, how hard he would have fallen for you in such a short time. “I don’t want you to say it like this.” You repeat.

He nods and you both crawl into the same position you’ve always slept in. But Javi doesn’t sleep. He stays awake, propped up on his elbow and watching you. The way your eyes flutter and your mouth parts slightly, letting out the cutest little noises. ______

Before you know it, the sun is rising through the large window of your small rental property. You groan as you roll over to face Javi’s bare back next to you in bed. Your fingers come up to delicately rub circles into his back, smiling at how goosebumps raise along his smooth, tanned skin. He groans as he rolls over to face you, burrowing his head in your neck. “Just a few more hours,” he huffs. His warm breath making your body tingle. You giggle in response. “It’s already 10AM, we don’t want to waste your second last day in bed, do we?” You hum, your fingers massaging his scalp through his messy hair. He groans again. “Don’t remind me.”

You lay there propped on your elbow as Javi almost falls back asleep. Your hands move from his scalp to his ear, pinching his lobe to wake him.

“I’m up.” He argues, head still burrowed between your neck and the pillow. The satellite phone laying on Javi’s bedside table beeps multiple times. Taking his attention away from you. He turns over annoyed and looks at the small screen, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion and concern. He sits up fast and you sit beside him, nervous. You’re unable to hear the other person on the line as you grip the blankets. Your eyes dart around his face, listening to him speak. “Good Morning Ma’am,” Javi’s tone immediately taking on more professionalism. The Admin

He waits for her to speak more, his expression hesitant as his fingers fidget with the blankets too. “He what?” He says, his breaths becoming short and his eyes widening. You shift to sit in front of him, your stomach roars with anxiety that could have you in the bathroom for hours. “I don’t understand, why would he want me?” He replies to whatever she has said.

His other hand comes up to run his fingers through his messy hair. His eyes finally landing on yours. “I see,” he mumbles. “How soon do I start?” he asks, a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth as he stares at you. Your face changes, emitting waves of relief.

“That sounds good. Thank you ma’am.” He hangs up fast and slowly places the phone back down. His actions take forever, as he’s still too stunned at whatever it was that was being discussed. “What is it?” you ask, your wide eyes searching for some hint of context to the conversation. “That was the Admin. I,” He licks his lips. “I got offered a position in Miami.” his words catch in the back of his throat. Your breath hitches and you don’t say anything, your whole body lighting on fire. Your hands sweating. “For when?” you manage, through the heartbeat in your ears.

“Starting tomorrow,” he mumbles. You both sit in silence before smiles come across your faces. You expected to both be jumping for joy, but instead there is a stillness hanging heavy in the air. It feels as though the world around you has slowed to a stop as you both sit here in bed, in your own little bubble.

“So you’re staying?” you ask, your voice shaking. He doesn’t answer your question. Instead he explains the call. “She told me to report for my new position as Senior Recruitment Officer for the Miami division.” Your eyes widen and your mouth parts when it clicks.

“Says I have to report to my supervisor on Monday,” he looks at you and you both speak in unison. “Martinez.”

As soon as his name leaves you mouthes, you’re standing on the bed and jumping up and down, releasing all kinds of noises in pure happiness.

Javi’s laughing as he watches you. Finally getting winded you fall to your knees, heavy breathing.

He came through, fucking Martinez came through. “He apparently told her that he owes me one.” He laughs in disbelief.

You smile wide at Javi, tears welling up in both of you. His hands cup your face and he brings you in for an aggressive, celebratory kiss. As soon as he pulls away, you both rest forehead to forehead, out of breath. “I love you,” he murmurs, so softly that it almost doesn’t register. You watch as a single tear falls from his eye and he laughs pathetically. “I fucking love you.” ____________3 MONTHS LATER_______________

“One more big push for us, come on,” you hear the doctor tell you amongst the pain ripping through your body. Your death grip on Javi’s hand has his eyes widening in concern. “You can do it baby, come on,” he mumbles as his other hand moves the sweat covered hairs from your forehead. “Ugh, I fucking HATE YOU!” You scream, staring him in the eye as you give one more big push. Then you hear it. The cries of your baby taking their first breath outside of you.

Javiers face softens as he watches the doctor hold up the baby before handing it to the nurse. “A baby girl!” the doctor exclaims. You’re both sure he’s happy to be done with the 16 hours of labour. “Does daddy want to cut the cord?” the nurse asks, a smile evident through her mask. Javi just laughs through his flowing tears. Without saying anything he nods and clips the umbilical cord.

You pant in a daze, your head falling back against the pillow. He watches for a moment as they clean the baby off, before leaning down next to your face. You connect your hands and you turn your head face him, breathless.

“You fuckin’ did it, baby.” He chuckles, tears staining both your faces. You give an exhausted smile and he kisses your forehead, then the top of your hand he’s been holding. Soon they place the little girl in your arms, wrapped in a hospital blanket. Her little body wiggling as she makes a bunch of unimpressed faces. The minute you see her you start to sob. This made everything worth it. She made everything worth it.

Javi’s eyes well up some more as his strong hand comes to gently touch her small little body. “You were a girl this whole time,” you giggle out through your tears. Her small body shifts some more, her face calming at the sound of your voice. Javi leans over you still, placing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I knew it,” he whispers, his eyes unable to leave his daughters.

You sniffle as your finger caresses the side of her small little cheek. “What should we call her?” you ask, turning to look at Javi. His eyes don’t leave his baby. “Eva,” he mumbles. “It means ‘life.’” His voice so steady and sure. “Because she gave mine purpose." You turn back to the baby and your hand lays on top of his, along her small, warm body. “How about, Eva Maria.” you say, your eyes moving to his face again, for approval. His brows pull together in slight anguish. He looks intently at you, almost as a thank you, before you both turn back to your baby. Once you’re settled in your hospital room and through with all the checks and guidance given by the nurses, you and Javi lay cuddled up together as Eva sleeps soundly on your chest. “Should we count all her toes again?” he asks, quietly. You giggle as you look up at him. “I think she’s got all ten.” You tell him as her little hands grip Javi’s index finger.

You both sit in silence, staring down at her before he speaks again. “She’s so tiny.” You both smile and your finger runs along her small little button nose. She shifts a bit, her arms coming to the sides of her face before she settles back down. It was like nothing else in the world mattered. Every piece of the puzzle had finally fit together the minute you heard Eva cry. This was definitely heaven. You watch Javi admiring his baby as you think back to the last 3 months. How you couldn’t say it back. How he never rushed you to either. He was always so patient. Loving every part of you, even in the roughest of weather. “I love you too,” you whisper to him. Taking his attention off of Eva to look at you. His smile speaks volumes as he pulls you in for a deep kiss. He pulls back, his breath hot on your lips. “What took you so long?” ____________________________ Taglist:

@djarinxore @notsosecretspy @pedropascalsidechick @soaringcloud @aestheticangel612 @wakaladjarin @pedritos-pumpkin @cosmicmoonchildsplanet03 @bimbofairynextdoor @cyberrpixies @fallenfairydust @partyofone3413 @lavenderkee @littlevenicebitch69 @icant-hangout-imdrumming @got1arrow4that @pedr0swh0r3 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @mxtokko @letsgroovetonighttt @bbgem329 @beboldbebravethings @phoenixinthewater @cowboychickenlittle @lucreziazaninelli @kirsteng42 @prettyinpunk85 @leeeesahhh @girlbossnancy @sarah-10 @jaded222 @jlouw646 @sadbloatedegg @ievutebebe @spookyxsam @sagggy @lordvelma @fatimaisabelpascal @cordycepcowboy @fhatbhabie @caatheeriinee07 @harriedandharassed @manuymesut

If I missed anyone, please refill-out my taglist form🩵

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mirimim

1 year ago

I don't need any analysis of these photos.

The conclusion is Jure is hot as fuck and gets all the bitches and I want him in ways I cannot begin to describe.

Jure the perfect slut i love him. No wonder they saved him till last