Behold! The Silliest Bills I Could Conjure

Vlad did not expect this shit at all what the fuck???

You know those twin/sibling aus with Danny and Damian? That but in Vlad's POV

CMON I feel like it's underutilized, given how Vlad has an obsession with wanting Danny to be his son when he ISNT greedy for power and control.

Like Vlad Masters takes pride in thinking that he knows everything about Danny like the creepy bastard he is.

So imagine when shit hits the fan as always with these AUs; Vlad expects Danny to come crawling to him or at least last a few days until he gives up and finally goes to Vlad for help.

But then Danny disappears, and Vlad doesn't know where the brat is. Time passes by, and no matter what, Daniel hasn't come out of whatever hidey hole he is. That is until PLOT HAPPENS AGAIN- Vlad gets a hint that Daniel is in GOTHAM of all places- so he goes!

And most of the time when Vlad finally shows up in these aus, it's of course at the Gotham Gala–time to start shit up!

There he finds Daniel with Bruce Wayne of all people, hanging out with that Wayne's youngest child. Where Vlad sees the eerie similarities with Daniel and the Wayne Boy, minus the eyes and what-not. He sees Daniel staying close to Brucie and his son, that will not do.

This would give Vlad the opportunity to finally mold the brat into his perfect son, and even get Maddie in the process!

But of course, with these aus, Vlad doesn't get Daniel, so Vlad is pissed because how dare the brat choose Wayne over Vlad Masters???

Why would the boy choose Brucie Wayne over coming with Vlad?! Over coming home?! Over his parents?! Vlad would understand, even be elated since usually in these types of aus, Danny has a falling out with the Fentons or it just isn't safe at home anymore.

But after all, this is Vlad's POV: he'd be pissed and confused on WHY Daniel would dare choose Wayne over him, he could support Daniel just fine, he knows what the boy needs.

But the way that angry brat glared murderously at Vlad; and Daniel doesn't do anything to get the Wayne boy to stop, in fact he seems concerned for the other boy who's glare would kill. Bruce Wayne even seemed smart enough to get Daniel and his son away with a smile, and Daniel is letting them.

These people shouldn't be this protective of the boy, given that somehow Daniel ended up in their care. But the way, Danny Fenton seems to trust them enough to know that he could travel with them willingly...

But WHY would he???

List of words for the computer:

STANFORD- Pulls up a file on Stanford Pines, written by an unknown scientist. It discusses his extra finger and praises his intelligence, as well as calling him the “next evolution in the human species”.

BILL CIPHER- Takes you to the Wikipedia page for the Eye of Providence. Also took me to a Sesame Street video about a Jazzy Triangle and a Square. Not sure what prompted the change.

STANLEY PINES: Takes you to a list of EBay listings for brass knuckles.

FIDDLEFORD: Takes you to the music video for Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex.

SHERMIE: Nothing. I sure do wish we got some lore about Grandpa Pines.

GRAVITY FALLS: The text on the computer reads “never heard of it” and the red light on the bottom turns green.

ALEX HIRSCH: Leads to Google Images for “flannel”. Huh.

WEIRDMAGEDDON: Pulls up an article from the Gravity Falls Gossiper about how nothing happened at all and there was no apocalypse.

DISNEY: Screen reads “rat.gif censored for your protection”

SOOS: Leads to a page of writing from Soos himself, referencing many things (including Tad Strange being gay and madly in love with Woodpecker Guy. Love wins!!!)

DIPPER: Leads to a creepy yellow parchment with a message from Bill Cipher himself trying to trick Dipper into blinding himself by staring at the sun for 13 hours straight! Silly!

MABEL: Causes stickers to appear on every available surface. Clicking it enough times leads to message “lab now fully Mabelized”.

WENDY: Leads to a note from Wendy that mentions a way to ward off evil triangles written in the bottom corner of the book.

GIDEON: Makes a web recording of Gideon scatting play. It ends with “I love you forever Mabel”. Please shut the fuck up you little creep.

TAD STRANGE: Plays a video of bread with smooth jazz in the background.

TOBY DETERMINED: Leads to a Google search for a restraining order. Holyyyyy shittttttt

WHO ARE YOU: “I could ask you the same question”

SEASON 3: “Season Two”. I guess that’s that lol

This was about all I could find. Please reblog with anything else you can discover! Thank you, fellow Gravity Falls enjoyers!

FURTHER EDITS:

BLIND EYE: Pulls up an optometrist’s eye exam. Each line reads “WKHBOOVHH”. Too lazy to translate atm.

PIÑATA: Bill Cipher getting beaten to death /hj

MASON: A note from Dipper listing several anagrams of Gravity Falls characters’ names. You can check in the comments for the answers.

AXOLOTL: “You ask alotl questions”. Thanks for the pun, Alex, but I’m kind of losing my mind rn

MYSTERY SHACK: Leads to a Google search for Confusion Hill, the real-life Mystery Shack!

MYSTERY: “?”

MONSTER: Leads to several YouTube videos for “There’s a Monster at the End of this Book.”

VALLIS CINERIS: Leads to an analog-horror-esque video of Baby Bill and his parents, who have been blotted out by static, and a voice repeating “WHY DID YOU DO IT” over and over again until you stop the video.

PORTAL: “Portal.exe has been deleted. I bet you could build a new one.”

GIFFANY: You need to put it in multiple times. Several warnings about breaching firewall, followed by a message from GIFFANY saying “SOOS! I still love you!” or smth like that, and then GIFFANY herself briefly appearing onscreen. Trying again after that summons her more. Also lets you download some ZIP files.

DORITO: Summons an image of a spinning Dorito, followed by the most cursed image of Bill Cipher I have ever seen.

GOD: A short video of an axolotl in a tank with a Bill Cipher statue plays. This is Alex’s axolotl, shown in the Book of Bill countdown.

REALITY: “Is an illusion”

FILBRICK: “I’m not impressed”

CARYN: “I knew you were gonna write that”

GLASS SHARD BEACH: Leads to an image of the New Jersey Hell Hole.

ANY CUSS WORD: Pulls up a paper reading “NOT S&P APPROVED. WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP” with an image of soap below.

MATPAT: Leads to a video of MatPat next to a conspiracy board, holding the Book of Bill. He tells us we’re on our own.

BABBA: Plays an audio recording of Dipper singing BABBA. Not Disco Girl, a different song.

CRAZ: Leads to the Jem and the Holograms theme.

XYLER: See above.

AD ASTRA PER ASPERA: Shows us two new journal pages from Ford and Mabel, studying the Cipher statue. They’re definitely worth the read, I teared up looking at them.

ANSWER: “Question”

QUESTION: “Answer”

SEASON ONE: “Season -1: Antigravity Falls”

SEASON TWO: “Season 1” …maybe scratch what I said about Season 3. Or don’t. Things are starting to damage my brain.

CURSED (got from @slimslamflimflam decoding the candle! Thanks!): Shows two pages talking about the dangers of drawing triangles, with the bottom of the second page showing several drawings of Bill and the words “HE IS COMING, RUN”

THE UNIVERSE: “Hologram”

RIZZ: “Life privileges revoked. Now releasing poison gas.”

BABY: Shows an ultrasound of a fetus Bill Cipher, captioned “Look at what’s growing inside you! See you in nine months, papa!”

JOURNAL 3: “The Journal for Me”

PACIFICA: Leads to a note from Pacifica calling Bill Cipher “ick” and telling us to follow her on social media under “Platinum Paz”

PLATINUM PAZ: Pulls up an image of Northwest Manor with the llama symbol overlaid and a “NW” logo beneath.

LOVE: Leads to an audiobook of “The Love Triangle”. Need to read later.

BLENDIN: “The time agent lost and presumed incompetent”. Uh…?

SCARY: Leads to another audiobook of a cheesy Goosebumps-esque horror novel written by Bill himself, apparently.

DIVORCE: Shows you the logo of the bar Bill went to after his fight with Ford… Billford bitter exes confirmed

ROBBIE: Leads to the cringiest messages ever. He’s such a failure I love him

CONSPIRACY: Leads to a video of a man losing his mind over the countdown counting up. I feel so seen

RAT: “Thurburt’s number?”

BLANCHIN: Leads to a YouTube video on how to blanch vegetables.

TJ ECKLEBURG: “Never mention that name again.”

NOTHING: “Something”

SOMETHING: “Nothing”

BURNSIDE: “Burned inside.” Well… at least we know what happened…

WADDLES: Leads to the pig placement network!

You're caught, Bill

Just to be clear, Kamala conceded with grace and dignity but it is still well within everyone’s right to demand an investigation and even a recount with due cause despite a winner being declared. U.S.Americans have the right to demand free and fair elections (we don’t have a right to, say, start an insurrection like certain people did after the 2020 election).

Many, including major swing states, (Nevada, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and more) have already admitted to data and ballots not being recognized or lost and are recounting or calling for a recount. It usually takes days to count and record votes, a day after a bunch of election tampering is not enough.

If you used a mail-in ballot and haven’t yet, check if it was actually counted and “recognized.” A lot of mail-in voters from swing states found out that their ballots were uncounted today.

My baby, my baby

DPxDC

———

Jason has been having dreams. Dreams of him living a different life. Almost every night he would go to bed and wake up in a different apartment. One that was cleaner but had more possessions in it. He would walk down the hall to a room that was space-themed, with glow-in-the-dark stars filling the ceiling, planet stickers making up the galaxy on the wall, and a soft black rug on the floor with toys littered about.

In the middle of the room, there was a crib and in every dream, a baby was waiting for him. The baby never cried, just sat there waiting for him with the biggest smile. He had the bluest eyes and dark hair that curled at the end. His freckles matched the stars on the ceiling.

Jason would pick him up gently and place him on his hip, bouncing him softly which would make the baby laugh. His chubby little hands would clap together when Jason placed him in his high chair. His legs would kick impatiently waiting for his food.

The dream would go on as Jason goes through his day with his baby. He would play with him and put him down for naps throughout the day. Jason would carry him from room to room in this apartment.

He rarely put his baby down, rarely separated from him. Always holding him close as the dream went on.

Then Jason would wake up. He would wake up to no baby in the room down the hall, in a shitty apartment that is supposed to be just a safe house. There is no space-themed room and no high chair in the kitchen. Jason would curl up in his bed clutching his chest as grief for a baby that is not real invades his heart.

He will mourn for the few quiet moments of the morning before he locks it away to start his day.

————

Jason was getting to the end of patrol as he made his final rounds. It was a quiet night which made him wary and on edge. He was heading to his apartment, grappling across the rooftops when he heard something from an alley just below him.

The noise quickly caught his attention, making him jump down into the alley. As he got closer to the source of the sound he could make it out as the crying of a baby. Hidden by trash bags and behind a dumpster was a baby.

A baby with pale skin and trembling chubby arms. He had dark hair that curled at the ends and his eyes were scrunched tight. His face was red from how hard he was crying.

Jason knew this baby.

His baby.

Jason gently picked up the baby causing the crying to stop. Looking up at him were teary blue eyes. The bluest eyes he has ever seen.

The baby was swaddled up tight in a black blanket with yellow stars with a green sticky note stuck to the front.

“Danny, the beloved

CW”

Was written in the note.

“Danny…” Jason whispered softly as he looked at the babe like he was the most precious thing to ever grace the earth. “Let’s go home.”

me after watching a dumb little horror movie:

This is for people of Israel/anyone who supports Israel/anyone who wants to stay "neutral" about this genocide, remember that this is how your fav "defenders/heroes/government servants are supposed to be responsible" are talking about innocent Palestinians civilians:

If you choose not to speak on this matter, if you choose to not speak up for Palestinians, then be well assured, 100% guaranteed that what's happening in Palestine can (and will if you let Israel get away with MASS MURDER) also just as easily happen to you, and then there will be other people who would stay "neutral" and silent on this matter.

If you think that the reason you're not taking sides is because you don't really know the situation that well, then EDUCATE yourself. It is your responsibility, as a fucking human, to do your research to stop and prevent such atrocities from being committed.

(I know, I FUCKING KNOW I have at least a few dozen followers from Israel/support Israel/ZIONISTS who are reading this and I know that your eyes may be blind, but your hearts aren't. Don't be a hypocrite, and don't be ignorant)

GRAVITY FALLS SPOILERS MAYBE? FOR THISISNOTAWEBSITEDOTCOM.COM — AT LEAST WITH BILL CIPHER AND STAN PINES/GRUNKLE

This involves thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com and Bill's PTSD involving Stan along with a theory of Bill Cipher possibly still in Grunkle Stan's mind.

So I've been seeing some people concerned over the idea that Bill Cipher hasn't left Stan's mind at least not fully, and while I do also have some belief that maybe some remnant is still there—perhaps it's just Bill's remains left behind all while his soul is trapped in Theraprism.

But the idea that Bill still has access to Stan like before, nah.

In reality; I highly doubt it, it feels just like at the end of The Book of Bill: where Bill snaps over the mere idea that Stanley must've influenced the reader not to join him, just him viscerally screaming out Grunkle Stan's name— resulting with Bill in the void swearing that someone will let him out.

Bill Cipher is labeled with Max Security Rec in the Theraprism, that implies that he's clearly being watched even if they had this one 'slip up' with the Book of Bill. They still hold more power over him since they confiscate his book after five minutes :)

To me, it feels like he's lashing out now—Bill is now what he considers his lowest and is raging at Stanley for not only beating him, for being a cheaper version of Sixer, but for also being happy. To me: Bill is desperate; he's trying to plant doubt that they fully purged him from Stan's mind in which I highly doubt that either the Axolotl or the Theraprism wouldn't notice.

—

But we'll see what happens if any updates come again, maybe I'm wrong and Bill isn't truly gone from the Pines Family 🤷‍♀️ but from what we've been seeing, Bill is grasping at straws now and clearly he's mad that he underestimated Grunkle Stan lmao get rekt loser

Making Heads Turn 🫨

Jason had become a father to a little baby boy, taking him in when he found the poor thing on the streets, in a cardboard box, wrapped in a space themed blanket.

While the obstacles a new parent goes through is tough. He knows it's worth it to have Danny, his baby, his son in his life. He doesn't regret adopting him.

Danny is now at the stage of his little life that he babbles and giggles, Jason always had fun having a conversation with his baby. Although Jason's sure that his hair is getting whiter with the chaos Danny brings now ever since Danny's baby brain realized that he can CRAWL to PLACES >:D

However this new development... is a little strange.

Whenever Jason puts Danny down in his crib to make dinner or any other important errand. Danny will begin to babble to the air, as if his little tyke is trying to talk to someone, making grabbing hands and scooching over to grab someone's attention.

It sent a slight shiver down his spine...

Ever since he made his introduction to Gotham as Red Hood, for the first time to those gang leaders with the bang of the AK-47. Taking over the Gotham underworld by storm with anger and precision.

He always felt a chill down his spine... When he was alone, yet... the Pit Madness flared everytime, making him feel enraged and paranoid. As if he was just waiting for a fight... for a confrontation...

Being alone in his apartment, having nightmares, more like repressed memories of what he had done... Lots of things, but for some reason—his mind... keeps going back to the moment he threw that duffel bag at the table infront of the gang leaders that night... the night he went after the lieutenants, taking their heads.

He doesn't know why.

But ever since the precious cargo that was his baby Danny, arrived in his life. That all went away as he took care, fed, and loved his baby boy.

Jason never had an episode with Danny; he couldn't bare the thought of hurting the child.

Jason was even having less episodes when he was with the Bats!

The chills; however, Jason still feels them occasionally... but they would always disappear the moment Danny would demand attention or to nap.

And instead he would feel something else hang over his baby everytime Danny slept peacefully...

———

Second ever DPxDC prompt that I've ALSO been getting brainrot over ❤️ I'm having fun 😄

Basically this prompt idea is Jason adopting a baby Danny, while seemingly unaware that he's being haunted/watched by the people's he's killed to become a crime lord. More specifically, being haunted by the heads/headless ghosts of the lieutenants Jason killed as Red Hood.

While Jason can't seem to see them, he can feel 'chills' from them. Danny, however, CAN see them mostly because I based this on that thing where babies/toddlers can see spirits in those typical YouTube videos that list ToP 5 ScArY gHOstZ VidEOz!1!1

Whatever happened though, this causes the ghosts to instead focus more on Danny than on Jason.

How much will Jason freak the fuck out when he finds out? Who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Although Danny is absolutely having fun here ^^

Anyways, I might add extra stuff soon to this!

Boop PSA, for Mobile Users:

To Boop - either tap the boop button next to someone's name or go to their blog and tap the cat paw icon

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Can't Boop - either you or the person you're trying to Boop hasn't opted in yet

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I'll update this when I know how to get certain badges and such.