Millionnotesclub - The Million Notes Club

Portals to Hell by hrmphfft

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

“if you’re straight then why did you say she was hot”

yo i’m straight not blind

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

my parents aren’t teaching me life lessons.

#i need some adults to TEACH ME SHIT ABOUT LIFE