I Didn’t Know If You’d Care If I Came Back ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

touya dabi isn't as smooth as he thinks he is.

the first time you catch him, you're in the parking lot, halfway from your car to the long, concrete flight of stairs outside the apartment building. whenever he would come before, when you could sit on the steps and wait for him to arrive—his lone figure would always manifest across the street.

near a convenience store, one that's been closed for years and yet still remains, on the outside of your little gated community. where exactly he was coming from, you never knew, but he would give a half-ass jog across the road and hop the fence and stand before you on the steps, arms out like he was coming home after a long stint away.

you suppose he was. at least that's how it felt to you.

it's not a coincidence that you spot him there now, leaning against the wall as the sun starts to set. hiding in the growing shadows well enough, but still visible where he stands, where he's always stood. it's only been a few weeks since you've seen him and you wish he was closer so that you could read between his lines, find the truth in them. despite everything, you ache for him, for this; it must be tearing him to bits, even if he won't admit it.

today was your first appointment. it's early, but things are as fine as they're supposed to be, you assume. nothing major to report. healthy. fast heartbeat. a little grape-sized thing.

touya dabi doesn't want you to see him, but you raise a thumbs-up high in the air anyway.

money appears under your mat a week or so after that, fat stacks of ¥5,000 bills.

it makes you angry at first; touya dabi made it very clear that he will have no part in this. with it. that didn't surprise you in the slightest, which is maybe why you avoided him once you found out. locked the doors and the windows and didn't answer any numbers that read unknown caller. at least that way it was your choice not to see him, and not because he was jumping ship.

the whole exchange was ugly. the kind of fight that makes your stomach sour, has you wanting to go back just so you could argue against whatever points he thought he was making. has your eyes watering, stinging with the memory of it all.

but this is unexpected. it. not that you don't have a support system and some savings in the bank, but being a single mother wasn't exactly predicted in your forecast and it's his damn kid, after all. if he wants to fork over all his earnings—however he gets them—to try and mitigate some of his own guilt, well, then, that's his choice.

meanwhile, you're gonna buy a bitchin' crib, one that attaches to the side of your mattress.

you start showing a little after three months, and touya dabi starts creeping closer.

he doesn't wait near the store anymore and instead moves inside the gate. he must watch you when you have your back turned because you don't see him until you're inside, moving to the window as slowly as you can so as not to alert him with your shadow.

not ever in the same spot. all you get is the flash of his coat, trailing his ghost as he turns and high-tails it, or the edge of his boot that he doesn't realize is sticking out so much. sometimes it's just the sound of a clicking lighter, the low burn of a cigarette end. a white-haired figure in the distance, gone with the low breeze.

one night, when you're feeling sick and lonely and the reality starts to bite at your edges, you open the blinds and take your time with mindless things; cleaning the glass in a tight tank-top, shuffling through mail in the clear view, poking at your belly button, trying to imagine what the little thing will look like.

you don't see him that time, but his hurt echoes inside you.

touya dabi can't stand it after the baby shower.

a friend helps lug all your gifts up the stairs, helps to stack them neatly in the office that was emptied when you found out. it's a lot of big things, like some animal-shaped-diaper creature and tons of wipes and a high-chair and an overload of stuffed animals. you go half-way down to thank them, bid them goodnight, and when you return to the room, he's sitting there.

on the floor with his legs out in front of him, facing the presents like they're his next battle. touya dabi is even wearing a pink party hat, one of the paper horns tucked between his lips like a cigarette.

you look at him and he looks at you and he blows it and the silly sound would make you laugh, if your heart wasn't beating so fast in your chest. you're stuck between a lot of emotions, but you've been picturing this moment every night for months, and the one thing you want to make clear to him is:

"if you don't want her—"

"i never said that."

it's the first words he's spoken to you in a long time, and they come out just as angry as the last ones did. a snap, furious, suddenly. in turn, it makes you just as mad.

your face screws up, and so does his. "okay, well you heavily implied it, then, when you insisted she wasn't yours."

touya dabi throws his hands in the air and shakes his head at you, like you're dumb. "how does that make any fucking sense? even if it's not mine, i didn't say—"

"she is yours, asshole—"

"don't start with the names, baby," he's quick to shoot off the floor, even quicker to yank the hat off his head. "you don't wanna fucking go there with me."

you're stuck between a lot of emotions, but the strongest is heartbreak, and to see him yell at you and be so fucking angry is harder than you imagined it would be. you thought you'd be strong enough by now to stand your ground; instead your voice comes out as a whispered plea. "get out."

touya dabi runs a harsh hand over his face, pinpricks of blood tearing into his skin before he crushes the hat in his fist and tosses it to the floor. he opens his mouth like there's something he wants to say, but he doesn't.

he just leaves. just like last time. just like always.

it becomes routine.

the quiet creak of the floorboards is him in the middle of the night, the soft click of the door latch when he closes it as he steps into the office. sometimes he pokes around in the things you begin to unpack, sometimes he leaves his own stuff; the clean stack of bills, a princess doll you've seen advertised on tv, a gel thing you put in the freezer for her to gnaw on and—surprisingly—medical stuff.

kid's cough medicine, a thermometer, pedialyte, diaper rash cream and other skin lotions, that sucky bulb thing for snot.

"i was early."

this is the second conversation you have with him, when you're nearing six months. he doesn't turn around to look at you, just watches the mobile your mom bought as it spins, splashing little fishies onto the wall.

"and small and—sick all the time." touya dabi lets out a bitter little laugh, and the rasp of it makes your heart throb. "probably the shittiest baby ever, so—" his teeth click together hard. "good luck with that."

you shrug, even though he doesn't see it. "we'll figure it out."

"we?" like a cat, his back curls, all his hair standing on end. you never see the flame, but smoke swirls his palm. he still doesn't look at you. "we who? don't tell me you mean that fuck that's over here all the time."

the admission should maybe surprise you, but touya dabi has always been—particular about you. about sharing. you can only imagine how he feels for the baby in your tummy. probably will go nuclear if she ever calls someone else 'dad'.

you can't help but to roll your eyes. "no, we as in her and i." it only relaxes him a little bit and you shuffle on your feet, clearing your throat to make way for all the words you wanted to say to him last time. "you can't—" already, your voice breaks and your eyes sting and his back curls all over again. "you can't just pop into her life every other month because you feel bad, dabi. so, you're either in or—you're out."

that has him peeking over his shoulder at you, eyes shining in the moonlight filtering through the windows. glowing, you could say. "now you're gonna keep me from seeing my kid?"

it's—beyond the most infuriating thing you've ever heard and so you have to laugh, just once, as you wipe your eyes. "oh, so she is yours now?"

he sighs, goes back to watching the mobile, and is quiet for a long time. almost like he's considering it—but you know better. "well, she ain't here yet, so i got time before i have to scram."

and you swore you wouldn't do this, wouldn't beg for him, but the tears won't stop—even though he mutters out a quiet "i can't—just—don't cry, i can't—"—and something swells in your throat and your chest aches and—

"you don't have to be out, touya." you hate how pathetic it sounds, but you wouldn't care if it meant he would stay. "we can figure it out, together. as a—"

"this is my mom's number." touya dabi talks so loud over you, he's practically yelling. eyes on the floor as he holds out a piece of scrap paper, a name scrawled across in his neat handwriting. "if you wanna tell her, then—she'll probably wanna know, or whatever. my sister too, she'll—"

he never finishes and he never looks at you, just shakes his head at the carpet.

dabi visits one last time before she arrives.

you find him where he always is, where he was the first time he accepted what was to come; sitting on the floor of your daughter's room, smiling, almost, at the neon stars plastered to the ceiling. in his hands is a set of photos from one of your ultrasounds—nothing new, just somewhere in the middle of your pregnancy—and he holds it with the very tips of his fingers, like he's afraid of touching it anymore than he has to.

you sit beside him, heavy with a baby and standing on sore, swollen ankles. "you can have it, if you want. i have plenty."

and you'll take plenty more, in the future; he just shrugs, attempting to look indifferent and yet looking anything but. you expect him to to deny you, like he's resisted all things, but his bottom lip pouts out more than he probably means for it to, and he just fingers one edge carefully.

"hope you got a name picked out."

"i do," you lean into him and he lets you, even accepts the tiny kiss you press into his warm shoulder. "do you want to know what it is?"

"no," he sighs and makes a face, though you can't be sure if the annoyance that flashes over him is meant for you, or himself. "best not to."

a set of tears stings your eyes that you know will show in your voice, so you just nod, letting your head fall to his shoulder. it draws out another heavy breath from him, a shaky one that he holds too long, before he finally rests his mouth against your hair. you can feel the flare of his nostrils, the grind of his jaw; if he could cry, you think he would be. he would have, since the beginning.

very quietly, you tell him, "she won't be anything like you," and when he nods and grits his teeth and clears his throat, you capitalize, take advantage of all the affection he'll show by taking one of his hands in your own. "she'll know love and patience and kindness, and i promise i won't ever try to make her into something else."

she won't know fear, not until she has to, not until you can help it. she won't ever have to know what it's like to grow up without a roof over her head, or food in her little belly. you won't let her be a tool, a stand-in, something you throw away in place of someone else.

all that he had to go through. all that's made touya dabi.

she'll never know that hurt.

"yeah," he whispers. "good."

when he moves his head, you move yours, propping your chin up to see him better. touya headbutts you lightly, squeezes your hand in his own, pinches at each of your fingers.

"is there anything...you want her to know about you?"

he doesn't bother to hide his frown now, though he shakes his head at the floor and looks away. it pulls on what little holds him together, tugs on him in ways that shouldn't, that you wish wouldn't, and he stares at the set of photos in his hands and tells you, "i never said that i didn't want her."

gojo satoru x reader, MAJOR hurt/comfort, angst to fluff, i just hope i did this blurb justice. NOT EDITED

imagine... gojo saving his s/o mere moments from death and the desperation that follows.

you'd been sent on a mission together, which the special grade sorcerer was very excited for initially since he gets to kick spirit ass with the love of his life. besides, with your help, the mission would be finished much faster and when you're done, he can take you out to a fancy restaurant with the bank he makes by being a sorcerer of his calibre.

not that you don't make bank yourself, but gojo likes to idea of being your 'sugar daddy', even though you tell him that 'it's weird'.

but one thing goes wrong and all of a sudden, you're in the hands of the enemy, helpless and frantic as every card up your sleeve falls to the floor- paralysed to your spot as the curse swallows your every last chance of survival.

this was it and the flash of your life hits you.

violently, too, like a really hard sensation rips through your side, the wind blows against you roughly and you thought that it'd be a little more peaceful- oh wait no, that's gojo picking you up and phasing away.

suddenly every curse has been obliterated and you're overcome with emotions that numb your being. you want to scream, sob, throw up, shake the anxiety away, crawl into a hole and hibernate.

gojo does all of the above for you.

"i thought- i thought- i thought that was it. i thought that was the end," he whispered, frantically cradling your face, hands moving everywhere along your body to make sure that you were still with him.

neither of you have the words to continue, panting together with mismatched breaths and worry-blown eyes. he eagerly ripped his own blindfold off, eyes proceeding to desperately scan every inch of your face and soul, as if gojo was trying to get a better grasp of your cursed energy in reassurance that you were still here.

once it becomes too much, he breaks down with a sob, falling to his knees at your feet as his tears ricochet onto the ground below him, holding onto your hands like they were his lifeline, a piece of you that you could sacrifice to purify his flaws and failures.

he leans his forehead onto your hands, trying to ground his breathing as he holds onto you tightly, as if making sure you couldn't slip through his fingers as delicately as last time.

"i thought- i really thought that you were going to-" gojo can't even finish his sentence before crying again, wheezing and sobbing uncontrollably, "you can't do that to me, y/n, you can't."

his voice breaks as the sorcerer looks up at you with a pool of emotion, expression vulnerable as if he was begging you to look into the fragile state of his heart because it was yours and yours his being would forever be. he surrendered to you, the miracle that has entered his life and forever changed it for the better. he surrendered to you, his lover who he'd go to any lengths for. gojo satoru, the honoured one, surrendered to you because he can sacrifice his measly pride if it means he's guaranteed another day by your side, in a safe haven he never thought he would need.

"you can't pull that on me y/n, y/n, y/n," he shakes as he repeats your name over and over again, whispering it so sacredly as if it were the only word he knew; a mantra that would fix the damage within him at seeing the most important person in his life almost- almost- almost-

you sink to his level with gleaming eyes, tears woefully streaming down your face to join his ones on the concrete below. holding his face oh so gently, you shakily smile, "satoru, i'm okay. i'm okay because of you."

he can't help the sob that rips through him as you lean to press a kiss to his temple, allowing gojo to find solace in your collarbone. he clings onto your clothes so tightly, still desperately searching for the extra reassurance that he didn't fail, not again.

"you can't, y/n, out of all people, it can't be you," he heaves, voice growing softer and breaths growing calmer the longer you hold the delicate man.

"we're okay, satoru, and we'll be okay for a long time."

haha you're so cute when you tell me if you liked that 😁😁 pls reblog... or follow... or like... please?

Need this energy right now.

not pulisic sacrificing his ability to have children for a goal

I mean yeah he’s evil and all but what if I were his favourite

HQ BOYS WHEN YOU PULL THEM BY THEIR BELT/BELT LOOP

SUNA: a deep yelp comes from his lips, the usual bored look he had on his eyes now replaced with shock as his hands naturally lands to the nearest surface, trapping you in his arms. with his face now inches closer to yours, he looks down at you, the tension between you two now rising. he raises an eyebrow with curiosity in his eyes as his deep voice flows through your ears, “hm, what’s going on in that little head of yours, bun?”

KUROO: a startled expression etches on his face, not expecting you to do such a bold action. although, he’s quick to recover from his shock as he shoots you a cocky grin, letting his hand fall to rest on your hip. “what’s this, kitten? if you needed me, you could’ve just said so yourself.” he chuckles, “but this,” his eyes then wander down to where you were holding his belt, “this is probably much better.”

ATSUMU: literally gasps out loud in shock, “oh SHIT you- you really just did that huh?” he curses, trying his best to compose himself although he’s actually a stuttering mess. with a deep inhale, he lets his hands find their place on your hips as he looks down at you with a certain look on his eyes, clearing his throat. “are we gonna make out or..?”

IWAIZUMI: he looks down at you, surprised. letting an eyebrow raise as if he’s asking for you to explain what was that for. however, with that look on your eye, iwaizumi swore something had bursted inside him that lead him unable to restrain himself as he slowly slithers his arm around your waist, the action sending you shivers through your spine while you watch as he reaches your hand that was holding his belt, raising it to let it rest on his shoulder. he chuckles under his breath while he keeps eye contact with you, “god, you really don’t know what you’re doing to me, do you?”

SAKUSA: both his eyebrows shoot upwards and his body freezes momentarily. you watch as his eyes looks at you with shock written upon them. he could barely let out a steady statement as his breath wavers, “..w-what.. what are you doing?”

OIKAWA: “okay, so, remember when iw— AH! OH MY GOD!” he screeches out dramatically when you unexpectedly pull him by his belt and his heart runs in laps. he looks at you with shock as you only shoot him an innocent smile. “sweetie, what was that for?!” he lets a hand hover his chest as you giggle, about to give him an answer when he adds, “but that was kinda hot though..”

YAMAGUCHI: a high pitched yelp comes from his lips and he stares at you with wide eyes, a flush creeping across his cheeks. never have you seen your boyfriend look so embarrassed and surprised your whole life that you had to let out a laugh, your reaction worsening the blush on his cheeks as he holds the wrist of your hand that was holding his belt. “H-Honey.. S-Stop..”

KITA: when you pull him by his belt, he let’s out a tiny oh, peering at you with curiosity. smh innocent bb. he gives you a look that encourages you to explain what you did, but somehow, inside him, he thought it kinda felt nice to have you pull him towards you that way.

KENMA: he tenses. it honestly never crosses his mind once that you would ever do the action of pulling him towards you by his belt—the gesture so unexpected that it leaves him a blushing mess. his body freezes in place and you watch as he looks at you with wide eyes. “(y-y/n).. what was that..?”

KAGEYAMA: he really went “oh shit” as soon as he feels that force on his hip—not expecting you to suddenly pull him in that way. his eyebrows raises in surprise while his head tilts in confusion, not sure what to expect when you’re innocently looking at him in the eye. and he blinks, “uh. hi?”

ASAHI: “AH!” he lets out a yelp that could possibly be heard up to the second floor. he looks back and forth from your face then down to where your hand connects to his belt, letting him compose himself for a few moments as he freezes in place. his eyes widens and he stammers like crazy. “S-Sweetheart.. What- What did you just do..?”

USHIJIMA: both his eyebrows raise upon the sudden pull of force on his hip area. he looks down at you as he holds a potted plant on his hand. you watch as he blinks down at you, as if looking for any answers through whatever emotion your face has on. you let him place his plotted plant on the nearest surface and he faces you, holding your hand that was on his belt as he raises it to his chest, letting his thumb softly rub on to your soft skin. “is there anything you need, honey? you can tell me anything.”

MATTSUN: when you pull him by his belt, he lets shock overcome him, both his eyebrows shooting upward. and yet, that shock is quickly replaced by a smirk as he looks down to where your hand is holding his belt. he lets out a deep “oh?” with a certain glint on his eye that deeply intensifies your need for him.

BOKUTO: “AH! WHAT AR—wait what’s this all about baby?” his mood alters in the quickest because one moment his eyes were widened like saucers and now he’s peering down at you with expectation. and you’re starting to think he’s just realizing how much he likes the way you pull him to you by his belt. you could see the blush appearing on his cheeks as he scratches the back of his neck bashfully—a rare thing to be seen from the bokuto kotaro. and he suggests cheekily, “you know.. maybe you should do this more often.. hehe.”

AKAASHI: he lets out the softest gasp from his lips as his widened eyes wander down to where your hand grasps onto his belt, and his mind really goes ‘oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god-’ but then he scratches that by clearing his throat, trying his all to keep his composure while barely managing to keep eye contact with you. “w-what is it you need, honey..?”

✧*࿐random cute texts: jjk ✧˖*࿐

✧ft: satoru, yuuta, yuuji, megumi & nanami

✧note: trying to get back into posting again. enjoy!!

✧ want your own customized texts from your favs? commissions are open!