You’re Standing On My Neck

Hi my name is Don Quixote of La Mancha the Knight of the Rueful Figure and I have a rueful figure (that's how I got my name) with purple bruised ribs and tall stature and gaunt features and hair turning gray and a rather hooked aquiline nose and large black drooping mustaches and a lot of people tell me I look like Amadís of Gaul (AN: if u don’t know who he is begone!). I’m not related to Lady Oriana but I wish I was because she’s an incomparable flowering beauty. I’m a knight errant but some of my teeth and grinders are missing. I have long lank limbs. I’m also a defender of damsels, protector of orphans, succourer of the needy, righter of wrongs, undoer of injustice, and I wander a magic countryside called the mountains of Spain where I’m in my first year of knighthood (I’m forty-nine). I’m a gentleman (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly armor. I love my great-grandfather's forgotten corner of the house and I cobble together all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a doublet of fine cloth with matching shoes and velvet breeches and a helmet, morion, visor, breastplate and backpiece. I was riding outside La Mancha. It was early morning so the rays of the sun fell obliquely and the heat did not distress me, which I was very happy about. A lot of giants stared at me. I put up my pasteboard visor at them.

HAD to go with the "beta kids playing their instruments" cliche

lying in the dashcon ball pit like john everett millais’s ophelia

the older i get (i know i’m still very young fdgvfds) the more i do find myself getting annoyed with teenagers online, but also the more solidified i become in my opinion that making ‘hating teenagers’ a significant part of your personality as an adult is fucking rancid. if you’re a grown-ass adult and you say things like “snot-nosed minors” completely unironically, please gain some perspective. you are talking like a fucking roald dahl villain

many inventions…. must continue research

blood and boobs are words that scratch the same part of my brain

i need people to understand that making a blanket statement about what corsets were or what purpose they served is like if you made a blanket statement about panties and why people wear them and you didn't specify whether you meant g string thongs or boxer briefs or a jockstrap or cotton bikinis or

the art of. using periods incorrectly to fine tune line delivery

like and subscribe for more unethical slime tutorials