At Some Point "fanfic Can Be As Good As Professional Writing" Became "fanfic Should Be As Good As Professional

Me at 11:59:

Me at 12:00:

Me at 12:01:

Food for thought

I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD I NEED BARRY KEOGHAN SO BAD

I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Dear writers of School Spirits,

Hey…SO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK-

Everybody needs puppy cart

The puppy cart

(via)

Welcome to Weird White House, a new series on the wacky facts that I find and/or remember off the top of my head about the US presidents. I say "weird" with all the love in my history nerd heart.

We start the series (and year) off with:

CALVIN COOLIDGE

THIS DELIGHTFUL DUDE

JUST DELIGHTFUL.

Nicknamed "Silent Cal" because he apparently wasn't super talkative (and it totally wasn't his secret gangster name), Coolidge:

-had a pet raccoon named Rebecca which was sent to him from someone who thought he should make it his Thanksgiving dinner and his family was like NAH THIS IS PET MATERIAL

-he loved being photographed wearing Native American headresses (he was adopted into the Sioux tribe), so here's what that looked like:

AND HE WAS PHOTOGRAPHED IN THESE THINGS

I would 1000% vote for an candidate who swaggered around with their name on their giant cowboy chaps.

-After President Harding's sudden death, Coolidge was woken up in the middle of the night, sworn in by lantern light by his dad (who was a notary), and then he went back to bed. Priorities.

-speaking of which, Coolidge slept 12 HOURS A DAY PLUS NAPS. Role model for us all.

-he had a mechanical horse in the White House that he used for exercise. Its nickname was "Thunderbolt".

Tragically, it didn't look like the ones that used to be outside Walmart:

You're welcome for that whole mental image of a stern-faced Coolidge rocking off into the sunset on a mechanical box.

-despite his stern demeanor, Coolidge had a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor which a lot of people didn't get, which brings us to

MY FAVORITE FACT ABOUT CALVIN

-Coolidge liked to press buttons in the Oval Office and hide under the desk while the Secret Service ran around looking for him

I KID YOU NOT THIS MAN WAS A P R A N K S T E R

Additional photos of interest that exist:

1.) Coolidge staring at a cow:

(someone please caption that)

2.) COOLIDGE'S KITTIES BLACKIE AND TIGER:

so freaking cute

And finally

3.) Coolidge exercising with the Speaker of the House, as one does:

So if Coolidge isn't one of your top favorite presidents by now, go sleep for 12 hours and try again.

Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s her dads fault.